Wanting another baby. Can I do it with this much nursing at night? (m) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-31-2003, 09:06 PM - Thread Starter
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Asher is 15 months old and a passionate co-sleeper and night nurser -- every 1-2 hours all night. I am tired and have been tired since he was born. Actually before that because his brother Avi was born very premature and has multiple special needs. Avi is four and a half and still wakes up in the middle of the night (he can't speak so cries to communicate his needs). I am almost 36 and dreamed of a big family.

I don't know that my body can handle being pregnant and nursing Asher as much as I am now.

But, I don't know how I could possibly wean him. We nurse lying down, so I don't even think he realizes what is happening.

I have read the Pantley book but my biggest issue is Asher has so much energy that I can't settle him down long enough to get sleepy and go/stay asleep his own. I literally have to wrestle him down.

Any words of wisdom?

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#2 of 6 Old 03-31-2003, 09:57 PM
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Hello! Welcome to MDC.

I am also night nursing and wanting another baby. My period has yet to return, so I plan to wait at least until dd is 1 year old to nightwean. I don't know if nightweaning will prompt the return of my menses, but I hope so.

I am sorry you are feeling so tired. If you feel that the night nursing is a major reason why you are so tired, then maybe you could work to change that, if you feel that is right for you. I'm not sure exactly what to suggest with your energetic boy, but, nutritionally, he could go 7 hours without nursing no problem. Have you seen the Jay Gordon nightweaning plan? Do a search for it, and you should come up with a website. I have found that when my dd is tired, if my husband "wrestles" her she gets tired and goes to sleep without nursing. Maybe something like this would work for your son. Dh makes dd stand up, but she gets so tired she just droops downs and goes to sleep on his chest. Maybe someone else could sleep with him while you get some rest?

Please try to make sure to take care of yourself. If you are tired and it is affecting your daytime parenting, maybe it's time for a change. I personally wouldn't expect a surge of energy with a new pregnancy .

I hope this helps. Let us know what you decide.
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#3 of 6 Old 04-01-2003, 01:27 AM
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Not sure if I can help, but I am in the same boat almost exactly (except I only have one). My son is 14 monts and I am going to start trying to get pregnant in April. I just started nightweaning -- well that's misleading because I have been sort of trying for months, but just started in earnest. I'm not sure if this will work if you exclusively co-sleep, but we use a combination crib and bed. Basically, I breastfeed him at about 7:30 p.m. Then I either give him to DP to get down and put in his crib, or I do it (if he doesn't fall asleep nursing I rock him or do whatever it takes). Once he is in his crib I try to keep him there until at least midnight or 1:00 (by rocking or patting him back to sleep if he wakes). He has only recently started giving me 3-4 hour stretches to start. Then, the new part: the first time I bring him to bed I do NOT breastfeed him. It usually only takes him about 5 minutes of fussing while I rub his back or hold him to fall asleep, especially because he has already been asleep. We are now up to 7-9 hours with NO NURSING, for the past several nights. I'm crossing my fingers I'm on to something. Good luck and I hope you find a solution soon.
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#4 of 6 Old 04-01-2003, 01:45 AM
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I just wanted to let you know it is possible. I got pg when ds was 20 months and nursed AT LEAST 12-15 times per day (including many night nursings). I got pg my 3rd cycle (AF returned at 15 months and cycles were very long).
Good luck.


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#5 of 6 Old 04-04-2003, 01:02 AM
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This is good news Laurie - I, like the other gals am worried about not being able to get pregnant again this Summer. DD usually nurses about 3-4 times per night and I've had no signs of AF yet... Hopefully as I reduce feedings things will "pick up".

Good luck to the rest of you, hopefully your babes will be cooperative!!!
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#6 of 6 Old 04-05-2003, 10:21 PM
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I am mommy to two children 15 months apart. I found night nursing the two of them very tiring; I want another baby right now, but I've been telling the family, not until eveyone is sleeping all night. It was worth it in terms of meeting both my children's needs, but very tiring for me. My salvation was that I could nurse them both down for naps at the same time and then take a nap myself. I night weaned my dd at 18 months rather drastically because I was so tired and I couldn't think of a way to do it gradually. It worked okay, but I would rather have used a gentler approach. Ds is 2.5 now and usually wakes once to nurse when I go to bed at 10pm, and then again at 5am or so and nurses until we get up. I forget in which book or website I read this, but there are developmental "windows" of opportunity for full or partial weaning; for example 15-20 months (I learned too late!) is not a good time because this is the time for separation anxiety. BTW, would your oldest be able to learn some sign language? Not much use at night but it might be a way he could communicate his needs.
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