Parents of crappy sleepers tribe... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 119 Old 11-06-2006, 02:27 PM
 
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Mmhh, I think this thread should be split into two, one for little ones and the other one for more grown-up ones to be of real use... anyway, my 4 yo and 5 yo wake on average respectively twice and once and this makes for a very active night on our side...
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#62 of 119 Old 11-21-2006, 12:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anybody getting any sleep?

We have all been puking here, it's stopped now but you would think after being sick, anyone (myself included would want MORE sleep) but no, not DS... UGH sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve a child who won't sleep... :
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#63 of 119 Old 11-21-2006, 01:31 AM
 
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Well, my ds is sleeping better since I added flax seed oil to his yogurt to make him poop more frequently (he's anal retentive since I started to try and potty train him a year ago) and I added fennel herbal liquid to his juice which helps with the gas ( holding back your poop makes for an uncomfortable, gassy little boy at night : ). I also give him melatonin and magnesium at night so he is actually going down at a reasonable hour and does not have to be driven to sleep anymore. So although he still wakes up 2-5 times a night it is a breeze to get him back to sleep. After what he put me through this past summer, when I was averageing 3 hours of sleep a night, this is wonderful!
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#64 of 119 Old 11-21-2006, 02:48 AM
 
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Me! 4 month old is a horrible sleeper (aren't all 4 month olds) dd#1 is 28 months old and wakes in the middle of the night demanding milk and whining herself back to sleep. Don't get me started on actually GETTING her to sleep. uggh! :
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#65 of 119 Old 11-21-2006, 02:45 PM
 
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so happy to find this tribe. i've rarely slept more than 4 hrs straight in nearly 6 years. (i was an insomniac preggo after i couldn't stomach sleep anymore).

as i type this, both kids (dd1-5-1/2, dd2-22mos)(cosleep in a vast twin+qween on the floor) are up and whinily awake as of 5:45 because i refused to help them back to sleep the umpteenth time because i was up reading about all the other crappy sleepers!! we usually wake/rise at 7, ie i keep patting/nursing them back down until then. they seem to know when i've left and wake up and follow me, so i'll stay in bed and they'll stay asleep longer/wake less in the early morning if i'm there, even though i usually can't get back to sleep between their wakings as of 5:45 or so.

today dd1 was scratching so much (eczema) between 2:45 and 4 that i ended up wide awake and snuck dowstairs to the computer. of course dd2 (sleeping soundly and very still when i left) woke up 15 min later. i got her back to sleep with 10 min nursing, came back downstairs, and i had an hour to myself before one woke again and woke the other and they both came downstairs. dh was up, so i ignored them, i.e. refused to take them back to bed. of course i'll pay for that later when dd2 wants to nap at 10 instead of 12!

dd1 was a reasonable night sleeper (woke 3-4 times) until her second round of injections at 4 mos (ah, 20/20 hindsight). then all hell broke loose and she had to stay attached all night and be held by mostly only me all day. i'm a stomach sleeper and can't sleep well nursing because my brain keeps saying "turn over so i can go to sleep." if i even managed to detatch her verrrry carefully, she'd wake up by 20 min later. bought the sears fussy baby book where i read about food allergies affecting sleep (she had other signs too: gassy, contipated at times, mucousy green poops, target sign on her anus...) and eliminated everything except about 13 foods. immediately she was much better: back to 3-4 wakings, even would let others hold her or be put down a few minutes. but i couldn't live on just lamb turkey rice millet zuccini yams pears forever and the turkey would make me sleepy on top of the sleep deprivation. and after a while (3? weeks) she started to react to those foods too, from constant exposure. sometimes she'd sleep for 3 hrs if she was put in the sling on dh after i nursed her back to sleep. but dh would have to sit up on the couch or she'd wake, and he wouldn't do this more than 1-2x/wk. teething was hell, but ibuprofen would help if i could figure out it was teething (instead if food issues) by her sleeping nursing quality (tense/clampy, instead of light/fluttery). introducing food was hell.

we tried NAET and diagnosed intestinal candida (her and me) at 22mos, and went on 6 wk awful diet plus herbs and improved that, and sleep got a little better, but she still woke at least 4 times until i night weaned (to TTC), and at worst 17 times in 10 hours. when i night weaned it took hand holding with each waking and 2 mos before she started sleeping well (0-2 wakings), and another mos for me to sleep well. then a trip to india messed sleep up again (12 hr jet lag means playtime from 1-5am for a week or so, coming home the same again), then i got pregnant and my own insomnia started again.......

to all those fearing a second child
, i know it's a gamble, but i've heard it's an easier adjustment the second time (it was for me). your brain just deals with it better. also you've given up the expectation that you even could sleep a long time. you feel less frustrated, thus more relaxed, thus you sleep better, fall back asleep faster. also, i had this idea the first time around that when she stopped waking me up so much i'd feel terrific. it didn't happen. i was actually getting adequate sleep after a while on the days she'd only wake 1-2x, and was managing, but was thinking of myself as sleep deprived and feeling a teeny bit virtuous/sorry for myself, and waiting for the time i'd get a full night's sleep. then it happened (a few times post jet lag and pre-pregnancy i got 6 straight hrs), and it wasn't much different. in the early days of dd1s bad phase if i got 4 straight hours i'd wake up so refreshed and energetic that i was sort of high on it and i was expecting that feeling again.

i got lucky with dd2 and she's a much mellower kid, never vacc'd, only has slight eczema allergy-wise, and wakes 2-4x, and sometimes can be patted back to sleep (thank goodness, because she's not a good latcher and i get sore). and i adjusted to the 2-4x pretty easily. i haven't felt like taking a sledgehammer to the walls like i did in the early days with dd1, can function pretty well as long as i get at least 6 hrs total in chunks of 2-4 hrs most nights, and go to bed with the kids half the time so i can get 8 or so out of the 11 we're in bed. ......but every now and then i fantasize of the day when i can sleep uninterrupted again.

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#66 of 119 Old 11-23-2006, 03:04 PM
 
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unbelievable!!!

dd2 has slept 7 hrs straight 2 nights in a row, right after i posted my moaning and groaning. the first night i slept it too, the 2nd dd1 woke up to whimper and pee (requires an escort due to anxious clingyness) but i still got 5 straight.

we're on vacation from kindergarten and all semblance of routine has been thrown out the window, and suddenly they're both sleeping better. coincidence? whatever it is, i'll take it while i can get it. it can't last, can it? maybe?...

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#67 of 119 Old 11-23-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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unbelievable!!!

dd2 has slept 7 hrs straight 2 nights in a row, right after i posted my moaning and groaning. the first night i slept it too, the 2nd dd1 woke up to whimper and pee (requires an escort due to anxious clingyness) but i still got 5 straight.

we're on vacation from kindergarten and all semblance of routine has been thrown out the window, and suddenly they're both sleeping better. coincidence? whatever it is, i'll take it while i can get it. it can't last, can it? maybe?...
That's great news. WTG your dds.

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#68 of 119 Old 11-28-2006, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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All of a sudden, we are in bedtime hell. I don't know what's going on now, it seems like there is something every time things start to get OK, something else happens. I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant and starting to get scared that having another baby will take us to a whole new level of hell. Sleep deprivation is used as torture in some places. No wonder I feel so tortured.
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#69 of 119 Old 11-28-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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Are there really only this few of us out there?? Actually I hope there are, I hope that crappy sleeping kids are something of an anomaly... gives me hope for our second one!
You are not alone. My 22-month-old slept through the night for the first time ever last month. One night. Other than that, once in a blue moon she'll sleep 5-6 hours at a stretch. Mostly, though, it's every 3 hours. Oh, the irony. I was a champion sleeper...

eta: Sometimes I wonder how wacky I seem to other people. I mean, when I began the quick decline into brainless, exhausted parenthood, I knew it was happening. Now I can still tell, but it doesn't seem as bad. Or is it? Maybe I am well rested and don't know it?
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#70 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 02:21 PM
 
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...once in a blue moon she'll sleep 5-6 hours at a stretch. Mostly, though, it's every 3 hours. Oh, the irony. I was a champion sleeper...

eta: Sometimes I wonder how wacky I seem to other people. I mean, when I began the quick decline into brainless, exhausted parenthood, I knew it was happening. Now I can still tell, but it doesn't seem as bad. Or is it? Maybe I am well rested and don't know it?
you probably are better rested than you think. once you're used to the 2-3 wakings a night thing you tend to get adequate rest, as long as you total 6-8 hrs most nights. you just still feel dumber than your old sharp-as-a-tack self. i think it's a lot to due with the freeform, discontinous ("now, what was i just doing?..."), schizophrenic nature of hanging out with little kids, combined with the oxytocin/prolactin effect from nursing.

so now that this is in nighttime parenting it's dying. oh,well...

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#71 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 02:24 PM
 
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Checking in here... My 13 month old dd is a horrible napper/sleeper.
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#72 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 02:26 PM
 
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...you probably are better rested than you think....
Oh crap. I am in real trouble, then!

***

Okay, so is your poor sleeper tough to get to sleep, too, you all? Or just won't stay asleep? And does s/he stay awake, or just wake often?
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#73 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 02:43 PM
 
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DS (3 months) is a crappy sleeper and napper and has been since day 1. Putting him to bed at night is a struggle. On a good night, we can get him down at about 12:30 (after he's been on and off mama's breast for a few hours and papa has been walking him around in a pouch for a good 30~40 minutes). We try getting him down earlier, but he's just not interested in sleeping. After he's down, he gets up about 4 times during the night to nurse or because one of us made too much noise while rolling over or he gets startled awake by his own farts.

Getting him to nap during the day is a challenge also. He'll doze in and out when he's worn or while he's nursing. Forget about getting him to nap off of mama. Once he's taken off the breast or out of a sling, he's bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to take off. And then he looks at me like, "Mama, why are you so tired all the time??? Lazy woman!":
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#74 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 03:23 PM
 
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I know that little ones do frequently wake at night, but this time it's killing me. Ds#1 didn't sleep through the night until he was nightweaned at 20 mo (in an effort for me to get pg) and now is a really good sleeper (own bed next to our big bed). But dear ds#2 is now, at 11 weeks starting to wake all the time and I'm having trouble functioning during the day. It's different because I have to take care of an incredibly busy toddler during the day this time, so I can't rest.

Any thoughts or tips for co-sleeping with dc#2??? Is this just a growth spurt (please say yes!) and will he go back to his 3-4 hour sleep periods in the near future???

Thanks!:
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#75 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 03:31 PM
 
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dd1 was always hard to get to sleep, hard to stay asleep. finally at 5 1/2 she's ok to get/get back to sleep, wakes 1-3x/night. high need/allergic, wakes up from scratching herself these days, or to pee, or nightmares at times.

dd2 mellow, but still hard to wind down to get to sleep. sleep routine with her sister 7-8pm (bath, snack, teeth, story, nurse), stays awake longer than the 10-20 min nursing i can tolerate (shallow latch-likes it that way and slides off halfway despite frequent re-latches/training), tosses, turns, and generally fights going to sleep. i usually fall asleep first. for naps, though, she generally drops of with 5-10 min nursing, sleeps 1-2 hours well. that is, up until 3 weeks ago. now she wakes crying after 45min-1hr, wants to nurse back to sleep. no more free time for me! ??WHY??? teething?...she got all her 16 teeth by 16 mos (even those canines due at 18-24 mos); maybe she's getting 2yr molars?

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#76 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 04:02 PM
 
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dear ds#2 is now, at 11 weeks starting to wake all the time and I'm having trouble functioning during the day. It's different because I have to take care of an incredibly busy toddler during the day this time, so I can't rest.

Any thoughts or tips for co-sleeping with dc#2??? Is this just a growth spurt (please say yes!) and will he go back to his 3-4 hour sleep periods in the near future???

Thanks!:
did he get vax'd at 2mos? my dd1, while high need from birth, only started the all night unhappy baby thing after round 2 of vax at 4 mos triggered worsening of allergies. before that she slept 2-3hrs at a time, and would let go when she was full each nursing; i couldn't even wake her up to take the other side sometimes (hoping fuller belly=longer sleep). any allergy signs? "target" sign around the anus (=bright red), constipation alternating with the runs, mucusy poops, clear runny nose, hyper at times... can't remember other signs, too long ago. sears' fussy baby book has a good section on allergies.

HTH

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#77 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 04:10 PM
 
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DS1 is four and has always been a terrible sleeper. Hard to get to sleep, lots of waking, stays awake a long time after waking (seriously, at least once a week he'll be awake for two hours or more in the middle of the night,) nightmares, sleep talking, night terrors...

DS2 is 5 months. He sleeps far better than DS1 did at that age, but does wake 3 or so times to nurse.

I do 99% of nighttime parenting in our house. I feel like I'm about to hit the wall, here...
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#78 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 04:58 PM
 
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joining...

My DS is a fabulous sleeper and always has been, from about 2 months of age. My DD is another story...

She will not sleep without me. Naps are always in a carrier on my back, and nighttime is wake and nurse at least every hour for the first few hours then a bit longer stretches through the night. If I am not there when she wakes, she cries and cries.

I tried a few months ago to put her to sleep in a pack n play for the first part of the night so I could leave the room and gee, maybe talk to my DH for a change. But she hated in there. So I leave her in bed after I nurse her down and run in there each time she cries until I am ready to get in with her. Often she is sitting up in bed crying and looking for me.

Some nights I find it very frustrating, other nights I can deal with it better.
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#79 of 119 Old 11-29-2006, 05:12 PM
 
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my dd has been up every hour or so for the past two weeks
Help me!!

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ds (2-23-09)
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#80 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 01:00 AM
 
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...bump...

anyone sleeping?

i've been lurking in the allergies section and "healing the gut tribe" threads; lots of crappy sleepers over there.

anybody here dealing with allergies?

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#81 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 01:10 AM
 
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Dd1 slept thru the night 3x at the end of last wk and now is back to her usual wakings. *sign* It was good while it lasted. Hopefully she will start again soon.

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#82 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 02:06 AM
 
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[QUOTE=formerluddite;6712200]...bump...

anyone sleeping?

nope, not yet

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ds (2-23-09)
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#83 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 02:14 AM
 
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...bump...

anyone sleeping?

i've been lurking in the allergies section and "healing the gut tribe" threads; lots of crappy sleepers over there.

anybody here dealing with allergies?

My daughter has had a bad rash on her face for a few weeks now and I'm trying to get to the bottom of it. She has reflux as a baby, so I'm beginning to suspect a milk allergy. She does have excema, so I have been spiking her oatmeal with flax oil. Works like a charm for her dry trunk, but her face is a mess. It's like acne. I digress.

But she has slept through two nights this week. That is the second and third time. In her life. And she's almost 2. I woke at 6am, with a start and couldn't sleep. She woke at 7am when SO went to check on her, worried because she wasn't awake. We're trying to cut her two-hour nap to one in hopes that she'll sleep better at night.
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#84 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 11:51 AM
 
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Can I join?
I'm at my wits end with the rest of you. My 18 month old ds is on a bad sleeping kick that's lasted about 4 months now. It coincided with his molars starting to come in, and he's only got three of them (and 6 teeth besides that, so we have a LOT of teething left). I'm delirious. He eats plenty during the day, he wants to nurse near constantly at night. I don't mind nursing him during the night - it's the marathon "I'll scream if you remove your nipple from my mouth at any time" crap, and THE GROPING that drives me absolutely NUTS. He can. Not. Nurse. unless he is clawing at my other breast. I can't take it - the groping has been going on for almost a year. Seriously. I've tried every single trick in the book (and I had lots) to get him to stop, and it's impossible. So, night nursing keeps me 100% awake, fighting off his clawing, mauling hands. I get about 3 hrs a night, dh will not do (he wants me, and only me if I'm nursing him). I'm starting to resent night nursing (nursing AT ALL, even, especially when I'm completely empty and he's just gnawing on me), and that makes me sad on top of being infinitely tired.

*sigh*

There, feels good to just bitch about it.
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#85 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 12:13 PM
 
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I'm gonna jump in on this too. Last night ds woke up at 1:30 (it was his 2nd waking at least) and was awake until 3:30, which meant I was awake that whole time too. He nursed for a while when he first woke, then he was just too wiggly, sticking his bum in the air with my nipple in his mouth (ouch) so I closed my shirt and told him ba-bas were cold. He was cool with that, but did not want to lie still. He wasn't upset at all, just chatty and wanting to be awake.

I don't get it. DH and I are (or used to be!) great sleepers. Hopefully he grows into it.

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#86 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 03:07 PM
 
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But she has slept through two nights this week. That is the second and third time. In her life. And she's almost 2.
: : hooray!!!:

send out some of that good sleep karma!

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#87 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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I'm at my wits end with the rest of you. My 18 month old ds is on a bad sleeping kick that's lasted about 4 months now. It coincided with his molars starting to come in, and he's only got three of them (and 6 teeth besides that, so we have a LOT of teething left). I'm delirious. He eats plenty during the day, he wants to nurse near constantly at night. I don't mind nursing him during the night - it's the marathon "I'll scream if you remove your nipple from my mouth at any time" crap, and THE GROPING that drives me absolutely NUTS. He can. Not. Nurse. unless he is clawing at my other breast. I can't take it - the groping has been going on for almost a year. Seriously. I've tried every single trick in the book (and I had lots) to get him to stop, and it's impossible. So, night nursing keeps me 100% awake, fighting off his clawing, mauling hands. I get about 3 hrs a night, dh will not do (he wants me, and only me if I'm nursing him). I'm starting to resent night nursing (nursing AT ALL, even, especially when I'm completely empty and he's just gnawing on me), and that makes me sad on top of being infinitely tired.

*sigh*

There, feels good to just bitch about it.

both of mine were gropers/clawers. drove me crazy!!! they'd go for my throat, too. i tried to keep fingernails reallllly short thru that phase, tried lots of techniques (things to hold, holding/restraining their hand,...). i would wear a t-shirt to bed and keep it pulled down to cover my throat and other breast. i'd also switch to the "up mama" sooner so that i was rolled over onto the lower breast so it was out of reach (she's on my left side; i don't switch her spot). once they were old enough to understand (?15mos) i made it a dicipline issue ("you're hurting mama. stop clawing or we're done"). i think it was because they were in pain, and it stopped when teething was done.

you've probably tried teething remedies...? homeopathics, ointments, drugs (tylenol/advil)? lots of downsides to drugs, but there's times when mama is just too strung out psycho from sleep deprivation and you do what you have to do to get thru the night.

for the all night attachment thing, have you tried the pantley pull off?

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#88 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 07:53 PM
 
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What's the pantley pull off?

My strategies have been:
*wearing a tight fitting nursing tank to bed...this worked for about three days, until he figured out how to break into it.
*giving him the top breast and laying on the other (this resulted in him working diligently at getting his hand between the bed and my chest...the child is nothing if not tenacious).
*hand holding (works for 30 seconds)
*1001 variations of "gentle hands"...basically, when I try to keep him from groping, he gets MAD and tries to hit me instead. It feels like a lose/lose situation, you know? I'm all for "you're hurting mama/we're done", but that results in lots of crying and yelling and tantruming, and a lot of times in the middle of the night I cave and just lay there fuming letting him claw at me instead of dealing with the shrieking. And that's my fault, I need to just be consistant about not letting him nurse if he's doing that.
How long, in your opinion, should I keep him off before letting him try again, when he's doing that?

Thanks for the response.
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#89 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 08:05 PM
 
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My dd is just two and STILL doesn't sleep through the night on about 95% of nights! When I get up with her, I bring her back to bed with me, but that doesn't mean she'll sleep long, or straight. Sometimes she wakes up early. Sometimes she starts playing in the middle of the night and ends up back in her crib... The list goes on and on. She's a good girl overall though, so I can't complain too much!!
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#90 of 119 Old 12-08-2006, 08:36 PM
 
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Count me in! Ds #2 is 28 months and is constantly kicking off the covers, trying to switch sides, nursing anywhere from 3-8 times a night. Our oldest slept no problem at 1.5, and night weened himself, so this is taking some getting used to. Once dh work starts to slow down in May we will night ween and he will sleep with the boys upstairs. I am getting absolutely no sleep, and am up completely everytime he needs to nurse in the night. I just found three new deep wrinkles under my eyes and I'm only 27

Aidan 8/11/99 Bryn 9/7/04 Jardin is here! 8/23/10 ~Kindness is My Religion~ Dalai Lama
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