(sorry for the broken text lines-- the server was down so I had to copy/paste this later)
I have really had it. I just spent 2 hours trying to put my overly
tired 28 mo. old for her nap. Finally gave up and drove her in the
car and she was out in 5 min. but what a hassle. I tried rocking,
singing, reading books, even gave into her request for some milk and
then some water, tried the soothing musical DVD, and she was so
tired, sceaming, crying tired, but would not nap. (And she's been
that way since she woke up, maybe cutting that other molar)
The main problem with our family bed situation is we are not getting
any sleep. Well dh sleeps fine, at the drop of a hat, but I don't,
and dd doesn't. She kicks the heck out of me when falling asleep.
Always has. She's a strong kid too, and I end up feeling literally
bruised by the time she finally falls asleep, from my torso and upper
arms down to my thighs. She's a very bright child and understands
fully well not to kick me. I've tried all kinds of consequences from
pinning her legs under mine to putting her in her own bed for a few
minutes. She'll stop, and then start up again. If I threaten she'll
stop for 2 seconds and then start again. I can't do this anymore. I
really have had it.
I was ready for her to be out of the bed at around 18 mos. We got her
a futon of her own to put next to ours and that was great until dh
started missing her and wanted her back in the family bed. Gave me a
big guilt trip about it, about him missing her during the day and
bonding time. So we took her back. Now she won't sleep in her own
bed except if we place her there after she's alseep, and if she wakes
up at night back she comes to our bed and more kicking until she's
asleep. I feel like we've created a monster.
Dh works very long hours. He only gets about 5 hrs. sleep and when he
does sleep, he's out like a light. So I've felt bad complaning about
not getting sleep when I get way more than him. But with my allergies
and asthma I need extra sleep too. I am feeling beat up, touched out,
and then after she's finally asleep and I'm bruised dh gets hurt that
I am not interested in being intimate if he didn't happen to fall
asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Today I actually called him up and told him, after finally getting
her to sleep in the car, that I'm buying a crib and she can cry it
out. I was speaking in anger but I am desperate and don't know any
good solution. I really feel like buying a crib, setting it up in
our room and then after our night routine putting her into it until
she goes to sleep even if that means she gets mad and screams a bit.
We had to let her CIO while we played dead in bed last year when she
would want to play after it was way past bedtime or if she woke up at
night. We just would pretend we were asleep and she cried and got
mad for about a week, then accepted it.
When I put her in her own bed after kicking me, following through on
a threat, she screams like she's really hurt but then stops
immediately when I invite her back to our bed and even giggles. (She
won't stay in her own bed anyway for long, even if we tell her to.)
She's just being overly dramatic to get her way I think. It's not
like she's an infant feeling abandoned. She knows how to get her way
with us, and since we've always been taught not to let a baby cry to
sleep we feel bad and let her back in bed with us. She's chosen to
make this an issue for us and I feel like she's winning.
Dh said he'd sleep with her and let me sleep in our bed by myself,
but I feel like why should he do that? Why can't I sleep next to my
own husband? Half the time (and we are ttcing although I don't feel
at this particular moment that I can handle another one) he lies down
with her, falls asleep, then she comes into my bed and starts kicking
me. When I try to give her back to him, he's so sleepy that he isn't
any help keeping her away from me. So that really won't work either.
So you guys help me out here. I don't know what do to but we need to
do something.
A sleep-deprived Darshani
I have really had it. I just spent 2 hours trying to put my overly
tired 28 mo. old for her nap. Finally gave up and drove her in the
car and she was out in 5 min. but what a hassle. I tried rocking,
singing, reading books, even gave into her request for some milk and
then some water, tried the soothing musical DVD, and she was so
tired, sceaming, crying tired, but would not nap. (And she's been
that way since she woke up, maybe cutting that other molar)
The main problem with our family bed situation is we are not getting
any sleep. Well dh sleeps fine, at the drop of a hat, but I don't,
and dd doesn't. She kicks the heck out of me when falling asleep.
Always has. She's a strong kid too, and I end up feeling literally
bruised by the time she finally falls asleep, from my torso and upper
arms down to my thighs. She's a very bright child and understands
fully well not to kick me. I've tried all kinds of consequences from
pinning her legs under mine to putting her in her own bed for a few
minutes. She'll stop, and then start up again. If I threaten she'll
stop for 2 seconds and then start again. I can't do this anymore. I
really have had it.
I was ready for her to be out of the bed at around 18 mos. We got her
a futon of her own to put next to ours and that was great until dh
started missing her and wanted her back in the family bed. Gave me a
big guilt trip about it, about him missing her during the day and
bonding time. So we took her back. Now she won't sleep in her own
bed except if we place her there after she's alseep, and if she wakes
up at night back she comes to our bed and more kicking until she's
asleep. I feel like we've created a monster.
Dh works very long hours. He only gets about 5 hrs. sleep and when he
does sleep, he's out like a light. So I've felt bad complaning about
not getting sleep when I get way more than him. But with my allergies
and asthma I need extra sleep too. I am feeling beat up, touched out,
and then after she's finally asleep and I'm bruised dh gets hurt that
I am not interested in being intimate if he didn't happen to fall
asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Today I actually called him up and told him, after finally getting
her to sleep in the car, that I'm buying a crib and she can cry it
out. I was speaking in anger but I am desperate and don't know any
good solution. I really feel like buying a crib, setting it up in
our room and then after our night routine putting her into it until
she goes to sleep even if that means she gets mad and screams a bit.
We had to let her CIO while we played dead in bed last year when she
would want to play after it was way past bedtime or if she woke up at
night. We just would pretend we were asleep and she cried and got
mad for about a week, then accepted it.
When I put her in her own bed after kicking me, following through on
a threat, she screams like she's really hurt but then stops
immediately when I invite her back to our bed and even giggles. (She
won't stay in her own bed anyway for long, even if we tell her to.)
She's just being overly dramatic to get her way I think. It's not
like she's an infant feeling abandoned. She knows how to get her way
with us, and since we've always been taught not to let a baby cry to
sleep we feel bad and let her back in bed with us. She's chosen to
make this an issue for us and I feel like she's winning.
Dh said he'd sleep with her and let me sleep in our bed by myself,
but I feel like why should he do that? Why can't I sleep next to my
own husband? Half the time (and we are ttcing although I don't feel
at this particular moment that I can handle another one) he lies down
with her, falls asleep, then she comes into my bed and starts kicking
me. When I try to give her back to him, he's so sleepy that he isn't
any help keeping her away from me. So that really won't work either.
So you guys help me out here. I don't know what do to but we need to
do something.
A sleep-deprived Darshani