Mom in law&dr.phil-cosleepingvent - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 4 Old 04-12-2003, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am sorry I had to write because I am so angry!!!

I have totally opposite opinions on mothering than my mother in law. Lately the argument has been-Why am I PAYING for a homebirth when I can have a hospitol birth for free. Usually we both state state our arguments and neither of us budges on our opposing opinions.

But now she's fighting dirty!

Last night she called and told DH that DR. phil had a whole thing on cosleeping and that it was all positive. She kept going on and on about how great it said cosleeping is. She than said tell laurie to go to his website and read it.

Immediately I was annoyed. First I felt I didn't need Dr. Phil to tell me how to mother and second why is his opinion worth anything to her any way when she wouldn't listen to all the research I had cited to her on the benefits of the family bed.
Well out of curiosity I went to dr. Phil's website and I could not believe what my mother in law had done.

IT WAS ALL NEGATIVE!! HE IS AGAINST COSLEEPING!!!

I was so angry! Angry that she had tried to trick me and her son! Angry that I waisted my time on such $%#@&^%! Angry that every time I talk to her she is assaulting my beliefs.

Her beautiful grandson by the way has coslept from birth(now3) been breastfed on demand(continues to nurse)been clothed diapered and never been left with anyone besides immediate family. She says he is soooo smart, healthy, and loving, yet I am doing everything wrong.

I am trying not to let this affect me, but right now being pregnant and sensitive I don't feel I am not even going to bother talking to her anymore! I guess what I want to know is....

Why are others who don't cosleep SO BOTHERED by the family bed?

I have never put down another mom for choosing not to cosleep. I realize it is a personal choice and what really matters is that the child's needs are met regardless of where they sleep.
I wish the media would leave cosleeping and mothering in general in the hearts of mothers!!!
Sorry if I am rambling!! I had to vent!! thanks for listening!
Laurie
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#2 of 4 Old 04-12-2003, 04:54 PM
 
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It stinks that you have to deal with that, especially being pregnant (which can make dealing with people harder). It's such a shame that people can't just be supportive of how you're raising your children. You're not doing anything that would hurt them. And it was messed up the way she went about getting you to read the Dr Phil cr*p.

You're doing a good job. It's a lot of work taking care of kids. Remember, you're their mom and you know what they need.

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#3 of 4 Old 04-12-2003, 06:09 PM
 
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There are so mmany reasons people hate co-sleeping.

they see it as sexual because that is where you have sex. (excuse me but i suppose they wouldn't want to sit on my couch either.)

they see it as a sign of dependancy (and we all know how bad it is for a child to be dependant on the parent.)

They think the kids are ruling the roost.

or they are justifing what they did. You can either choose A or B and I chose A so B mus be wrong.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#4 of 4 Old 04-12-2003, 10:06 PM
 
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ITA with lilyka, and am sorry you are having to go through this!

I hear ya though. My mother admitted that when I came home she had no idea what to do, so she just did everything her ped told her. Then she has the nerve to question me when I've done so much research and she just blindly followed what one man had to say! Who cares what Dr. Phil says?? And that was a nasty trick.

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