Me Again..Getting Very Desperate, Don't Want To CIO But My Health Is Getting Worse - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 02:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!! I have a 6 month who has been getting progressively worse with sleeping. She hasn't slept good since 2 months when she would sleep 4-5 hours.

Nightime: She goes to bed about 7pm after a bath(sometimes), lotion, pj's, sleep sack, and nurse(I nurse her to sleep, which doesn't always work). She sleeps in her crib(unless in the swing) that is elevated and with a sound machine. She will usually wake about 1 hour later and sometimes the blow dryer works to get her back and other times it won't and we have to use the swing or nurse again. She's never like the rocking chair and when I hold her she just gets upset. Then she wakes every 2-3 hours and will only sooth by nursing, at which she eats quite a bit. I've tried increasing daytime calories but not much change(it did in the beginning but now we are back to every 2-3 hours). Lately she's been getting up for the day about 5:30 or 6am

Naps: She usually will take 2 2hour naps but we have to get her back down at times around the 45 min mark with the blow dryer or moving to the swing. They used to be at 9 and 1, but lately she has gotten really fussy everytime we go in the room and it turns into her throwing a fit(screaming loudly). Our usual nap routine is close shades, sound machine, sleep sack, book, nurse then bed(asleep)

She has had a little cold, and is teething again, but she has been this way for a long time and getting worse. She never falls asleep in the car, and if she does wakes very easy.

95% of the time she is happy unless she gets really tired or we try to put her down for a nap/bed.

I don't want to let her CIO, I tried it once and it crushed me. However, I need to have a definite plan of action for when she won't nurse to sleep(or nurse at all and screams), and to handle her night wakings.

The real problem is that my health hasn't been good since her birth. I lost a lot of blood and still struggling for my strength. I have a hard time falling asleep so waking every 2 hours is draining me. The other day I couldn't even hold her because I was so weak. I'm very torn. I want to be the best, happy mother..yet I need some sleep. My milk supply struggles because of this as well and I keep losing weight. I'm down to 10 pounds lighter than prepregnancy.

Oh and I tried the NCSS book and it really didn't help much. She gets very upset with the Pantley removal method and then I can't console her at all.
And I'm too nervous to co-sleep, I have such a hard time falling asleep as it is and worrying about her would make it worse

I would really love some help, especially a plan. Something consistent for when she throws her screaming fits and nothing sooths her. Thanks for listening!!
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#2 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 02:50 AM
 
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What about a sidecar of some sort? I recently saw something on the internet about someone creating a sidecar out of a crib.

Also have you tried chiropractic or craniosacral therapy? We get chiropractic for dd, who is only 5 weeks, but she always sleeps better and has better color and is less fussy afterwards.
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#3 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 02:57 AM
 
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IMO you need to find a way to cosleep so that you both can sleep.

-Angela
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#4 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 03:17 AM
 
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Yes, I second cosleeping, that way you will get more rest and sleep, both of you. If you don't want to have her in your bed, try moving the crib next to your mattress, remove the side rail so the crib becomes an extension of your bed but she still has her own space.
Before I fully shared bed with dd, I was a zombie, I could not fall asleep fast and dd was waking very very often. She would wake up every hour or so in the first hours of the evening, her longest stretch was 2.5 hours total until she was 10 months. I would sometimes have a couple of minutes of sleep before she woke again. I would put her to sleep, then I was awake listening for the sound of her crying for me, it was a vicious circle. As soon as I moved her into our bed full time, I was a more rested mommy. Once you are more rested and sleep better your supply will be better, too.

Another issue is your health. Have you checked what is the problem with losing weight? Are you eating well, drinking enough water? Breastfeeding alone shouldn't make you lose weight so rapidly.
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#5 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 03:21 AM
 
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Put her in bed with you. I think you need to spend more time finding how to sleep WITH her, than getting her to sleep on her own. Babies are just wired to sleep with their mother, that's just how it is.

It actually doesn't sound like you have to bad a sleeper to me, especially since she is in a crib or a swing by herself. I know a lot of people use things like noise soothers and such, but there is no sub for mama

Nursing, sleeping with a babe, all you have to do is roll em over and nurse them back to sleep. You don't have to get up

ETA: I don't wnat to come off too harsh here, but a 6 month old doesn't throw a "screaming fit." If most of your struggle is to get sleep, just start sleeping together! A tired baby is a fussy baby
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#6 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 03:23 AM
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Originally Posted by 425lisamarie View Post
Put her in bed with you. I think you need to spend more time finding how to sleep WITH her, than getting her to sleep on her own. Babies are just wired to sleep with their mother, that's just how it is.

It actually doesn't sound like you have to bad a sleeper to me, especially since she is in a crib or a swing by herself. I know a lot of people use things like noise soothers and such, but there is no sub for mama

Nursing, sleeping with a babe, all you have to do is roll em over and nurse them back to sleep. You don't have to get up
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#7 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 03:48 AM
 
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I agree with what others have said already. I don't want to invalidate the struggles you're having, but she really sounds like a very typical 6 month old - dare I say, perhaps even more of an "easy" sleeper than many.

Co-sleeping is a godsend for Mamas and babies. Everyone sleeps better - either in bed, or side car. I encourage you to find something that works for you both.
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#8 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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I agree with what others have said already. I don't want to invalidate the struggles you're having, but she really sounds like a very typical 6 month old - dare I say, perhaps even more of an "easy" sleeper than many.
I agree. I wish I could get 2-3 hours out of DD at night. And a 2 hour nap? OMG, that would be awesome!

She goes through stages where she would rather sleep alone in her crib (in her room) and when she does the tiring part is getting up, nursing her back to sleep, and walking back to my room. Even if I slept a combined total of 7 hours, I'd still be exhausted the interuptions.

I agree that you should find a way to co-sleep. It will make a huge difference in how rested you feel.

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#9 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 05:21 PM
 
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I agree with the pps that if you could cosleep you would probably find the wakings a lot easier. Even if she doesn't sleep longer periods, you wouldn't have to get out of bed, and she will probably be quicker to get back to sleep if she has only been awake for a few seconds. We coslept (still do with a toddler mattress pushed right up to our mattress, ds is 2 now) and ds's sleep pattern was just about exactly as you described, except for the nice long naps! Now that he does take a 2-hr nap I still do have to go in halfway through his nap most days to nurse him back down.

The way we coslept was we had a baby mattress in the bed with us, either between us or next to the wall. It was a foam mattress a couple inches high (I think they sell it at One Step Ahead?), so I felt it would have prevented me (or dh if ds was between us) from rolling onto him. It also had bumpers/positioners but he outgrew them by 6 months I think. When ds was between me and the wall, I didn't share covers with him, he had his own baby blankets. Another advantage to having him on a little mattress was that I could move him over a little away from me after he was sound asleep without disturbing him if I needed to. The bed was right up against the wall with the gap filled in with rolled up blankets. We now just have our mattresses on the floor which is much easier too.

Best of luck!
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#10 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 05:32 PM
 
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I agree about the co-sleeping. But my initial concern is your health. If you're not well and your nursing then babe's not well either. Could your iron levels be low? I would plan on making serious changes with your health and see how it affects your child.

To naturally increase your iron levels, take the herb stinging nettle.

Best of luck to you,
nd
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#11 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 05:50 PM
 
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Mama,

Your babe sounds normal to me. All 6 of mine have woken up throughout the night lots more than every 2-3 hours.....and daytime naps are a luxury if yours is taking them. I think your little one is right on target and knows exactly what she needs. My advice would be to throw out that crib, sound machines, sleep sacks (i have no idea what those are), and whatever else is coming between you and your baby. Just be with her.....love her....let her sleep with you. This time will pass so quickly.

For trouble falling asleep, try yoga or exercise during the day, and a bit of Valarian tincture before bed. (for you)

Good luck!

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Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
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#12 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 06:02 PM
 
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are you taking iron supplements? your blood supply should be back up by now.

maybe let her cut down a bit on the napping? you say sometimes you get her to go back to sleep after 45 minutes- what about just letting her get up? one thing I have always lived by is to let dd fall asleep and wake up on her own- her body knows how much sleep it needs (and yes, I have dealt with/am dealing with sleep deprivation, so I know it's not easy). My dd was never ever one to take 2 hour naps- I think 4 hours worth of naps is on the long side for a 6 month old.

another thing, and it's controversial for sure- but have you started solid food yet? I know it's "proven" that solids don't help babies sleep through the night, but for my kid it sure as heck does. I didn't give her solids until 7 months, but by the time she was 8 months, some bananas before bedtime would help her sleep longer, because back then she only woke from hunger.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#13 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 06:43 PM
 
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's mama...I know how rough it seems at that age. Ds did the same thing starting at around 6 months and sometimes he was up every hour. It was completely exhausting and draining and unfortunately we tried CIO as well: as I was feeling so desperate. Anyway, I would never ever do that again and we actually did start co-sleeping at that point. What a godsend!! Once I got used to sleeping with ds (there was a bit of an adjustment period for me), I was so much better rested, no matter how often he woke.
And remember, this won't last forever. For us, ds started going longer stretches at around 9 months (3-4hours) and generally sleeps for 5-6 hours now at 18 months. But he still doesn't have 2 hour naps!!
Good luck mama!

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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#14 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 06:54 PM
 
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I agree with cosleeping. I'm not big on sleeping w/baby, because it is also really hard for me to sleep w/baby in my bed, but it does get better. It gets easier the more you do it, and you might get to where you actually sleep better with her near you. I started co-sleeping when I had my second child. I knew that I had to maximize my sleep. You and baby will not have to fully wake up for you to nurse her back to sleep. I find that many times I'm so groggy when he wakes up to nurse that I latch him on and I fall right back to sleep. One compromise you could make is to put her to bed in her bed, and when she wakes you bring her to bed with you....that way she might eventually sleep through the night in her own bed.

I also think that 7pm is too early for a baby that age to go to bed (I should say, that was the case with my two babies). At 6 months, and even now at 16 months, my baby goes to bed when he falls asleep--between 8:30-9:30. I've noticed that if I put him to bed any earlier, he is up a lot more during the night.
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#15 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 08:21 PM
 
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Just another vote for co-sleeping here. Your baby sounds very normal. IMHO you need to find a way to adapt to her age-appropriate needs.

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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#16 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 08:30 PM
 
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Hi Mama, I vote with co-sleeping too. I was very resisitant to it, but once we started (at 3 mos), we never looked back. DD still woke, but I nursed her in bed, and probably 90% of the time I never fully woke up. Babe and I learned to work together on this. I know it can be hard, I was very anxious and depressed, and felt unable to relax enough to fall asleep easily, and this just led me to think that trying to co-sleep would add to my anxiety. But it didn't. And I sidecarred the crib, so I did not worry about rolling over on her. Take care of yourself Mama, and please let us know how it goes.

Wife to Hank , Mommy to Gabriella 6.5 yrs Anthony 28 monthsand 3 angels wait for me in Heaven Praying to be a Proverbs 31 woman!!
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#17 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 08:47 PM
 
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I seen a co-sleeping thing in the Wal-mart flyer and it is $49 93 here in Canada but the link I'm giving you is $35 so must be a U.S price

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...uct_id=3205748
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#18 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 08:58 PM
 
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I wish I could tell you something magical, but your baby is absolutely doing what 6 month old babies do. All of my babies slept great until the 2-3 mos. age and then woke 45 minutes-1 hour after I put them down. Then 2 hour spurts. I think so many mothers underestimate teething. Teething is BAD for a lot of little ones...baby is uncomfortable and in a lot of pain sometimes, particularly when lying down. Teeth and ear pain is worse when lying down. My dd, at almost 18 mos. slept through the night for the second time in her life last night...yesterday 2 teeth that have been really giving her a hard time finally came through.
I would try sleeping with your baby for a couple of weeks and nurse on demand at night. She will not eat too much. See if you are feeling any better, then reaccess the situation. You WILL NOT roll on your baby or hurt her by sleeping with her. The only incidents of babies being harmed by cosleeping is when one or both of the parents are using mind altering drugs or alcohol. Mothers insticts are strong and babies are made to sleep with their mothers. If you are worried about your SO, use a bed rail or push your side of the bed up against the wall and let your dd sleep on your side near the wall. We have our crib side-carred and it doubles as a rail for our bed. Our bed is HIGH, really high.

Lastly, if you are really desperate and will not sleep with your baby, try the Amby Baby Hammock...expensive, but so worth IMO. We got one when ds was 7 mos old and it was wonderful.

ETA: There isn't anything wrong with baby crying in your arms...and their isn't anything right about baby crying it out.

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#19 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 11:35 PM
 
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Hello!

I feel for you- I really do. We are in the same boat at 7 months. We do have a crib side-car to the bed (front removed, tied tight to the bed with bungee cables, baby mattress shoved over, and some towels between the back of her mattress and the crib). I can't suggest that enough. It's like extending your own bed.

She will NOT NAP ANYWHERE but on our laps. Nowhere, not once ever.

She only feeds to sleep.

She goes to bed at 9:30 (she sometimes even naps late from 6:30-7:30 but then she definitely WAKES UP). She wakes up at 10:30, 12:30, 2, and 5. She needs to actually eat at 2 and 5 (I have very low milk supply, so I nurse her every time she wakes up, but I have to suppliment her afterwards for the 2 and 5 wakeups). I often go back to soothing nursing after the suppliment, and sometimes she needs to nurse for an extra half an hour.

I'm also a terrible horrible sleeper with insomnia. Needless to say, a disaster of a situation.

So, anyway, we could simply not have survived without the crib sidecar (I do not feel comfortable with fully cosleeping either- I'm overweight, have asthma, and have some sleep disorders, and we have a small bed). I strongly suggest you try this- obviously something needs to change. You also need to take care of yourself- perhaps some of the medical problems are making your own sleep worse. Remember, YOU MUST EAT!!! You're losing if you're not eating enough, of course. So do your bookkeeping and make sure you are eating enough food.

Best of luck to you and I hope ALL of our babies get better sleep soon . It frustrates me when people think that cosleeping is the only solution, and that all babies are alike. Some babies hate cosleeping. Some babies are terrible sleepers no matter what we do. They are all different, and we have to try all sorts of different experiments to find what works!! -j
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#20 of 20 Old 11-11-2006, 11:55 PM
 
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My DD has just come through a nasty bout of NEVER SLEEPING so I feel for you, I really do. There is a particular desperation that comes when you can't forsee a time when you can just lie down and rest. It's miserable and I spent many many nights rocking and crying.

I too have a baby who did NOT want to co-sleep (no matter that moma wanted it, baby was NOT for it), and eventually just couldn't sleep in the room with us. She's a very light sleeper. Once she does go down, we don't watch tv or use the microwave or take phone calls. It's Silent Night, Every Night.

All this to say...try cosleeping. Try shorter naps. Try not having a schedule (try them one at a time, obviously, to see if anything works), just watch for sleep cues. You just never know what will work. I think for us, it was a combo of her just passing to a new (please let it last) phase PLUS eliminating her late evening nap and keeping her up later. She's no longer up every 20 minutes, she's maybe up once. Tho she's still an early riser. Some things you just can't change. And who knows when the next bad sleeping phase will hit!

My advice is not to stress yourself or waste your time with CIO - you sound so down already, I can't see how this will do anything but hurt you and your baby. From what I understand, it doesn't even work as well as the propaganda would have you believe anyway so why make yourselves miserable. And get yourself some help! If baby continues those two hour naps, you sleep too!

I keep trying to remind myself that I can't MAKE anyone sleep and she every phase passes eventually. But I know that's sooo hard to remember when there is no good, solid, restful sleep in sight.
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