Night #1 UPDATE night#7 Ready to throw in the towel - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 109 Old 12-16-2006, 08:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post
Be careful. You might end up night weaning a 5 month old baby.
Which wouldn't be a bad thing necessarily. Sure, I deliberately keep my kids night-nursing for 6 months because IMO it guards against SIDS, but otherwise I'd probably be happy about that scenario!

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#62 of 109 Old 12-16-2006, 09:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The way I see it, if DD needs her night nursing she'll ask for it(boy will she ever) and if she doesn't then she'll just be happy sleeping. I'm not forcing anything on her, she's leading the way. Plus she hasn't lead us wrong yet.

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Great now my keyboard is covered in snot while DD is chewing on the mouse. Mom better hurry up with the chicken soup!
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#63 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 01:54 AM
 
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Which wouldn't be a bad thing necessarily. Sure, I deliberately keep my kids night-nursing for 6 months because IMO it guards against SIDS, but otherwise I'd probably be happy about that scenario!

Really? I guess I thought mama-led nightweaning was not a healthy move for a baby that age.
My boy is a toddler now, maybe I am not remembering that age well enough? I just don't picture a 5m baby not night nursing

I remember wanting to laugh hysterically when people asked if he was sleeping through the night at that age.

Hey CC, turn your clock to face the wall. My friend tells me it helps a lot. You'll still hear the alarm.
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#64 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 11:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post

I remember wanting to laugh hysterically when people asked if he was sleeping through the night at that age.
I still laugh hysterically when people ask me that, and she's 9 months old! Though she did do a 4 hour stretch last night. I can't remember the last time she slept 4 hours. Patience really does pay off!

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#65 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Night #7
We are falling apart! DD took her 7:30 nap then me and DH had a talk about helping me out since I'm sick, AF is here, and oh so tired. So 10 rolls around and it is time for us to start relaxing to be asleep by 10:30(my only implimented time/schedual). DH says she's not tired he'll wait till 10:30-11 and he'll put her to sleep. Well 10:20 rolled around and DD is getting cranky and DH says he's ready for bed in a few minutes. HELLO DD is wide awake and he said he'd put her down: I make a comment he stays up while I try to relax her. She is screaming bloody murder because she is over tired and her one constant has been altered. finally 11 rollsaround and she's asleep. I put her down in her cradle and she is wide awake. I stand there in the bedroom rocking her and DH insists I just take her top bed andwon't listn when I tell him she's past that point, but I do anyways. 30 minutes later she isstill awake and crying, what a waste of time. so I get up and rock her 10 minutes and she is out, finally.I can't even remember how many times she was up last night, she spent most of it in our bed anyways because she would wake up screaming bloody murder. I remember one point at 2 when she would only sleep sitting on my stomach proped up on my knees, I tried so hard to stay awake because if she rolled it would be right of my legs and off the bed. I closed my eyes 2 seconds and woke up 2 hours later, so sore, but she is sleeping. I go to put her in the cradle and because all the pressure has been on my heels walking is so difficult, then I trip over Angel twisting as I fall off of that damn step up and hit the floor on my back, of course DD wakes up. Now the poor girl is sick, coughing and sneezing with a fever, which explains last night. I'm ready to crawlin a grave and die, but I guess that would mean taking DD withh me. Anyways that means our nights are on hold and this thread will soon die til I start over again at night #1.
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#66 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 03:34 PM
 
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Hey Chrissy,

I know now that dd is sick it will suck for a few days, try putting her to sleep upright, that will help her congestion drain (like raise your matress up at the top or have her sleep in her carseat). But is it possible she is just going to bed to late? I cna't remember when ds1 started on a more regular schedule, but ds 2 just feel right into the 8 oclock bedtime of big brother and I think slept better for it. My 5 months they are starting to sort out heri days and nights, and its getting dark here at like 4 ocklock. I don't know what your work schedule is like. But is it possible she is ready to go down for the night at that 7:30-8 ocklock nap? You might try just moving bedtime back by 30 min or so a day and see if that helps. I find with my kids they have to be awake for x hours before bed but otherwise sleep begets more sleep. Like the earlier they go to bed the longer and later they sleep. Just a thought.
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#67 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 03:51 PM
 
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I'm skimming through all of this...

I sure wish there was a way to just make mothers realize the waste of time it is to worry so much about sleep!!! OH my freaking word time would have gone by so slow I would have just died if I made a sleep log and obsessed my life away about baby sleep!!
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#68 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 04:21 PM
 
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Good point by lisamarie! (My Dad wanted to name me that, lol...)

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#69 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 05:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 425lisamarie View Post
I'm skimming through all of this...

I sure wish there was a way to just make mothers realize the waste of time it is to worry so much about sleep!!! OH my freaking word time would have gone by so slow I would have just died if I made a sleep log and obsessed my life away about baby sleep!!
uhhhhhhh huh me too.
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#70 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 05:23 PM
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Yeah I dont really see why one really is obsessing over it anyway.

Babies will sleep when they sleep, There are three things you have NO control over when it comes to babies/children.

1: Weather they eat
2: Weather they go to the bathroom
3: Weather they sleep.

You can't force a child do do ANY Of those three things, no matter what the age. Once you realize this, and accept this fact of life, you'll feel the amount of stress on your shoulders lift.
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#71 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 05:38 PM
 
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Yeah I dont really see why one really is obsessing over it anyway.

Babies will sleep when they sleep, There are three things you have NO control over when it comes to babies/children.

1: Weather they eat
2: Weather they go to the bathroom
3: Weather they sleep.

You can't force a child do do ANY Of those three things, no matter what the age. Once you realize this, and accept this fact of life, you'll feel the amount of stress on your shoulders lift.
:

I need a bumper sticker with that on it....

-Angela
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#72 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 05:46 PM
 
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Wow, I never realized people would get so worked up on this.

I guess what I was trying to say is: 1) you know your baby the best; 2) nurse when he needs to, even if it is for comfort; 3) identify those times where your husband can step in and cuddle (if you want, and if you feel you need a break). This isn't CIO. For us, the 'husband' part has only happened two or three times now, and it usually included me just a few feet away. Only once did DH go in the other room b/c the baby had just nursed a TON, was finished, pooped his pants, and mom needed some sleep, even if only for 15 minutes....

Chronic, everyone has excellent advice. Throw the clock away, the books away. The best advice I ever received was "you figure it out; you are expert on your child."

Cheers and hugs,
Jenny

Jenny, mother of two boys; 7-25-06 and 7-27-08. Loving wife to Cole. I love birth! :
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#73 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 06:20 PM
 
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moms worry about sleep b/c they are exhausted..trying to figure out the best arrangement
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#74 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 06:24 PM
 
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Just skimming through:

1)Please PLEASE stop this silly blog, forget about the time, point the clocks to the wall! Your child is FIVE. MONTHS. OLD. Unless you are trying to wean her, (and you are, if you are restricting her nursings at night, PLUS you work so you are away from her during the day) you can pretty much expect not to have a schedule for QUITE SOME TIME.

2) If she is sick, she is going to want to, and NEEDS to nurse more. (nak) her little body desperately needs those antibodies that she gets from nursing directly from the tap. if you deny her this, you may be delaying her getting well.

3) We are mothers. No one ever said our jobs were easy. Oh sure, we come here to get tips and tricks to lighten the load here and there along the way. but there are no tips or tricks when it comes to a FIVE MONTH OLD and sleep....as u can see, even when you don't nurse her, you still are not getting much sleep. even if you wean her, you still won't get much sleep. it is in her nature/normal/natural for her to wake often during the night. you might as well nurse her so she will be healthy, because even if you don't nurse her, you obviously still won't get any more sleep. You will have good nights, and bad nights, nights when she sleeps well, and nights when she won't sleep so well, regardless of if you nurse her through the night, restrict her nursings, or wean her completely. Such is the way with FIVE MONTH OLD infants!!
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#75 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 07:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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aarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg!

I come her to vent rant and blow off steam not to mention to tell you the whole the moving her back to the cradle thing till we're done being sick. I AM NOT RESTRICTING HER NIGHT NURSING. And the clock thing there are so many things to go with this like the clock is my.....my way of finding the bed in the dark(I know there is a word for it but I can't think), also I've done the clock thing my whole life, like I said if it is early enough I'll get up with her. Plus you know whe you close your eyes for 2 seconds and hours are gone? I wouldn't be able to find the bed if it weren't for the clock. And DD did have a schedual and does(well not since she is sick) it just slightly moved and altered over time. I can set my clock(sorry again) plus or minus 15 minutes by all her naps except for her 7:30, no 8:30, no evening nap(yes that works). When we do put her down for that nap she is the one who wakes up, if she went ot bed at 7:30 great but she doesn't and I can't change it. Plus he sleeps in till 11-12(noon) for me, and when DH is home when I work for 3-4 hours(not that long most of the time and mon and tues I don't even go in lately) She wake for an hour with DH then sleeps for another 3 hours. And I am not obsessing, you want to know what I had for dinner last tuesday? Spaghetti. What time I started cooking 4:28, What time I was done? 5:11. What time we actually ate? 5:27. When we were done? 6:04. The dishes hit the sink? 6:21. THAT'S CHRISSY, THAT'S ME, IT'S WHAT I DO. I spend my few days off and time to myself connecting myself with other moms because in reality I don't really know any around here and finding the time to interact in mom groups is hard, and none of them get me anyways. Whether it's because I'm too AP, or not enough, or too young, or they don't like our age difference when they find out my DH age, or they don't like that I have my life as figured out as I do so early. I don't fit their cliques. So I come here between loads of laundry, while eating a meal, or while DD sleeps in my lap. This site is the only thing I do really besides house work, work work, and being a Mommy. Right now she is napping in her jumperoo becuase she can actually breath in there and I have a few moments to catch up. So please keep the cold suggestions coming beacause everytime I get to close my eyes she wakes up 5 minutes later, so I'll wait till DH gets home just for him to need my help to do everything anyways. Being a mom IS hard, but it doesn't always have to be as hard as it is, sometimes simple solutions go a long way for everyone, at least till you get sick.
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#76 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 07:27 PM
 
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Being a mom IS hard, but it doesn't always have to be as hard as it is, sometimes simple solutions go a long way for everyone, at least till you get sick.
But really, there are no simple solutions to moms getting enough sleep at night. Yes, there are some simple solutions that get you through some rough spots in babyhood. But when it comes to getting babe to sleep through the night at FIVE (!!) months old, you are fighting an uphill battle.

Your baby is just too young for it. My baby is 18 months old and he is JUST NOW starting to sleep through the night ever so often, most times he doesn't sometimes he does. You really have to make sure you get down for a nap when she does whenever you possibly can, and grin and bear it. There are times, maybe several days that I can set a watch by his schedule. The next day, something happens, and his schedule is all awry again. Babies do not go by schedules. If she seems to fall into a schedule for sometime, enjoy it while it lasts. It may not be that way tomorrow, or it may be that way for a week. You just never know. (she is only 5 MONTHS OLD.)

I still suggest somehow sleepig with her, cause I feel that's how you are going to get the most sleep. If you get uncomfortable sleeping one way, splurge on lots and lots of pillows . Learn how to position yourself comfortably, (remember when you were pregnant?) put a pillow between your legs, under her (a good firm one), one under your boob. I think you would get more sleep that way, rather than having to pick her up and put her in the bed with you and then having to put her back.

If you get the book "So that's what their for!" there is a picture diagram in there about how mom can prop herself up comfortably with pillows in her bed with baby safely so that she can sleep comfortably and babe can nurse. If sleep is that important right now and you are working, I think finding, maybe even, another spot in the house for just you and your little one to sleep at night so that you both can rest well will be the best thing.
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#77 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 07:29 PM
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oh yeah my newborn has a cold right now too.

I nurse nurse nurse, sleep sitting up w/him on my chest so he can breathe, hold him upright in arms...i so need a mt.....ect....my back hurts...but i deal
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#78 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 07:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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But really, there are no simple solutions to moms getting enough sleep at night. Yes, there are some simple solutions that get you through some rough spots in babyhood. But when it comes to getting babe to sleep through the night at FIVE (!!) months old, you are fighting an uphill battle.

Your baby is just too young for it. My baby is 18 months old and he is JUST NOW starting to sleep through the night ever so often, most times he doesn't sometimes he does. You really have to make sure you get down for a nap when she does whenever you possibly can, and grin and bear it.

I still suggest somehow sleepig with her, cause I feel that's how you are going to get the most sleep. If you get uncomfortable sleeping one way, splurge on lots and lots of pillows . Learn how to position yourself comfortably, (remember when you were pregnant?) put a pillow between your legs, under her (a good firm one), one under your boob. I think you would get more sleep that way, rather than having to pick her up and put her in the bed with you and then having to put her back.

Please go back and read MY posts. I don't want her to sleep through the night.

On another note I slept on my stomach comfortably till 36 weeks pg, and the only thing uncomfortable about my pg was wearing close to tight and feeling like I always had to pee(which is the only thing that actually woke me up at night). If we had money for more pillows we wouldn' be using my SIL hand me downs. Plus it is the needing to movearound freely put that causes the discomfort, unfortunately my pg fat left me 2.5 months ago and took a little extra with it, no extra padding means painful pressure spots. Now I've been reminded that I miss my fat: . Before I became pg I worked so hard to put on winter fat so I wouldn't freeze then the one year I got a nice layer I turned out to be pg, now I'm smaller that before: oh well 3 more months of snow till I can get the chill from my bones, and with me sick DH won't even warm me up my because he doesn't want to catch it.

oh and before I get flame DD isn't in the jumperoo anymore, I don't want to be pounced on again.
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#79 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 07:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and congrats pandora looks like ou have a full head of hair on that little on.
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#80 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 07:50 PM
 
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i dont think anyone is "pouncing" on you. and yes i've read the whole thread. seems like your stress level is a 9 or 10 out of 10 but in actuality if you would just relax and even try what everone is suggesting your stress would be a lot lower.

fwiw my 13 1/2 month old son sleeps with us and nurses at least 4 or 5 times...sometimes up to 7 times.
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#81 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 08:22 PM
 
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Please go back and read MY posts. I don't want her to sleep through the night.

On another note I slept on my stomach comfortably till 36 weeks pg, and the only thing uncomfortable about my pg was wearing close to tight and feeling like I always had to pee(which is the only thing that actually woke me up at night). If we had money for more pillows we wouldn' be using my SIL hand me downs. Plus it is the needing to movearound freely put that causes the discomfort, unfortunately my pg fat left me 2.5 months ago and took a little extra with it, no extra padding means painful pressure spots. Now I've been reminded that I miss my fat: . Before I became pg I worked so hard to put on winter fat so I wouldn't freeze then the one year I got a nice layer I turned out to be pg, now I'm smaller that before: oh well 3 more months of snow till I can get the chill from my bones, and with me sick DH won't even warm me up my because he doesn't want to catch it.

oh and before I get flame DD isn't in the jumperoo anymore, I don't want to be pounced on again.

What I mean to say is that it is not realistic to espect your 5 month old to only nurse 2 or 3 times a night. It's just not. Some nights she may. But don't expect it, and don't be bummed out and stressed out of she needs to nurse many (many!!!) more times many or most nights.

And that theirs absolutely nothing wrong with being a " human pacifier". Babe's nursing on breast just for comfort is not the same as them sucking a bottle or a pacifier for comfort. Babe's have psychological as well has nutritional needs, and at times they seek that out by comfort nursing. You allowing her to suckle at the breast for comfort helps her to meet those psychological needs as well as any nutritional needs she may have.

My 18 month old is going through some kind of a stage (I'm still confused about it..) and he comfort nurses as much as he did when he was about 6 months old. every 1 1/2 to 2 hours he nurses.

Babes get unsure of themselves when they are starting to meet big developmental steps (like maybe crawling, scooting, etc) and they need comfort and reassurance...many times it comes in the form of a nursing marathon, and they comfort nurse a WHOLE LOT. And since she may not get a chance to nurse much during the day, she's probably comfort nursing moreso at night. It's nothing wrong with that.

Have you been to freecycle.com (or was it .org???) before? Perhaps some one there in your area can help you get a few things you need, like pillows and a good mattress or something. If you are pregnant, or just had a baby and nursing through the night, I feel that a good mattress is essential.
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#82 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 08:45 PM
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ALSO: another thing I might add on top of Gabysmom's wonderful post.

Quite often, babes of nursing WOHM's reverse cycle, meaning they dont eat much during the day but power nurse at night to reconnect with their mommas and get the nursy milky goodness strait from the tap.

Your DD is probably trying to reconnect with you in her own little way as well. Making sure you're "still there" Babies dont devellop a sense of "This person is forever" Till at least 18mos-2yrs of age. So your DD is probably trying to reassure herself that you're there....KWIM?

I tell my DD all the time "Babies are people, they have feelings too..."
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#83 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i dont think anyone is "pouncing" on you. and yes i've read the whole thread. seems like your stress level is a 9 or 10 out of 10 but in actuality if you would just relax and even try what everone is suggesting your stress would be a lot lower.

fwiw my 13 1/2 month old son sleeps with us and nurses at least 4 or 5 times...sometimes up to 7 times.
The last 2 days my stress has been an 11 with little sleep, AF, a nasty cold, DH working 12hour shifts, and the rat race of housework and eating, normally I'm mellow, but things have a way of piling up, you get them out of the way and get over it.

Also it is NORMAL for DD to NURSE 2-3 times a night, always have been. I was being lazzy and continuously offering the breast in bed even when she didn't want it so we could go back to sleep instead of getting up to change a diaper. Nursing took the edge off enough for her to go back to slep just to wake for the same reason and get the same reponse. I'm I deal with the problem then I get 2-3 nursings sessions per night.

I thank you for your reccomendation but MIL bought us a good mattress(pillowtop I might add which is one the other reasons I don't want to co-sleep) before I was pg. I don't want to be immobilized by pillows, I want to roll, sprawl and and get off my bony ass/hip/shoulders, not to mention separate my knees and not be pushed off of, scratched, and have feet jambed in places I fought so hard for her to come out of in the first place.
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#84 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 08:56 PM
 
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CC -

Your posts make me really sad. For you as well as your DD. I wish so much that you could find some joy in cosleeping. Really, truely. It is such an amazing thing, I just wish, from the bottom of my heart, that everyone took as much pleasure from it as I do.

Also, imagine being 5 months old. Can you think of anything on the earth better than snuggeling all night with mama?

I would move heaven & earth to make it work. Is there REALLY no way you could come to enjoy sleeping with her?

No hostility or anger here, I promise. I genuinely feel very badly about this whole situation.

Whatever you ultimately decide to do, I hope the BOTH of you can be at peace with it.

Good luck!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#85 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 09:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok I enjoy a nap or an hour or two at night after she legitimately nursing, I don't hate co-sleeping, I do enjoy it but not for the whole night. An hour enjoy take a break stretch out relax, later another hour and repeat.

Oh and I'm only gone a few hours maybe twice a week and when I came back she barely notices me gone she's having a great time playing with DH, not to mention she sleeps for 3 hour while I'm at work so she probably doesn't even know I'm gone.
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#86 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 09:04 PM
 
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I don't understand it.

You come in here asking for help, stating how stressed out you are, and when other more seasoned moms come in here to reassure you that everything you are going through is normal and healthy (albeit stressful and tiresome) and there's nothing that you need to stress yourself out trying to change what you are doing, that you are not being "lazy" by whipping that boob out and going back to sleep, and that everything is ok, you push everything everybody says away, and jump on the defensive.

You really want people to come in here and tell you it's ok to nurse your baby 2-3 times a night even if she wants to nurse more, and that it's ok to put her on a schedule and expect her to follow it.

At this point unless it's following along the lines of what you want to hear anyway, and it's not much more any of us here can say to you.
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#87 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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Chrissy,
I really think you are underestimating your importance in her life!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#88 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
: : :

I don't understand it.

You come in here asking for help, stating how stressed out you are, and when other more seasoned moms come in here to reassure you that everything you are going through is normal and healthy (albeit stressful and tiresome) and there's nothing that you need to stress yourself out trying to change what you are doing, that you are not being "lazy" by whipping that boob out and going back to sleep, and that everything is ok, you push everything everybody says away, and jump on the defensive.

You really want people to come in here and tell you it's ok to nurse your baby 2-3 times a night even if she wants to nurse more, and that it's ok to put her on a schedule and expect her to follow it.

At this point you're only going to hear what you want to hear, and it's not much more any of us here can say to you.
nak lefthand too
I'm getting defensive because others aren't listening. She doesn't want to nurse more, she wants to be burped, sang to and rocked, and sometimes have her bum changed. If she want to nurse then fine but most of the time she falls back asleep. Please read my posts #1,2,3,4,and 5. Not to mention last night when she spent almost allnigh in bed with me and did alot of comfort nursing back to sleep since she is sick and miserable. I haven't denied her at night yet in one of those posts, if anything I denied her her other needs.
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#89 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Chrissy,
I really think you are underestimating your importance in her life!
I'm the most important thing in her life and will be till teenage years(longer hopefully), Daddy isa very close second, and nobody else even comes close to me and daddy.
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#90 of 109 Old 12-17-2006, 09:18 PM
 
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You miss the point. And I don't know how to make you see it.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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