How old is to old? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How old is to old to sleep in the family bed?
1 year old 5 1.21%
2 years old 9 2.17%
3 years old 20 4.83%
4 years old 17 4.11%
5 years old 23 5.56%
6 years old 20 4.83%
7 years old 14 3.38%
8 years old 22 5.31%
9 years old 8 1.93%
10 years old 22 5.31%
11 years old 8 1.93%
12 years old 19 4.59%
13 years old 7 1.69%
14 + years old 36 8.70%
Other (please explain!) 184 44.44%
Voters: 414. You may not vote on this poll

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#121 of 161 Old 02-10-2007, 04:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
The cosleeping moms get a lot more sleep than, for example, my SIL who is always out of bed with one kid or another.
I always thought that would be a benefit to cosleeping, but in reality, I have to get out of bed whether he's in bed with us or not. When he wakes up in bed, he wants to be rocked to sleep in the chair in the living room, he does NOT want to stay in bed. If we try to just keep him in bed, he screams and neither of us can sleep.
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#122 of 161 Old 02-10-2007, 04:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pookel View Post
I always thought that would be a benefit to cosleeping, but in reality, I have to get out of bed whether he's in bed with us or not. When he wakes up in bed, he wants to be rocked to sleep in the chair in the living room, he does NOT want to stay in bed. If we try to just keep him in bed, he screams and neither of us can sleep.
I guess every kid is different, huh? We never rocked dd. Never. Always went back to sleep in bed. So that's what she does.

-Angela
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#123 of 161 Old 02-10-2007, 04:36 PM
 
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Never! I still sleep with my mother when she comes lol

cathy
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#124 of 161 Old 02-10-2007, 05:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I guess every kid is different, huh? We never rocked dd. Never. Always went back to sleep in bed. So that's what she does.
It may be related to the fact that we didn't manage side-lying nursing for the first three or four months, so I *had* to get up back then. Or maybe just that he's a jittery kid and never could stand to just lie there and go to sleep! I'm hoping the next one is calming.
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#125 of 161 Old 02-10-2007, 05:22 PM
 
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I was never too big for my parent's bed!! My dad worked nights most all of my life, so I slept with my mom... even when I was pg (and single) at 19/20 I still slept in the same bed w/ my mom... and when babe got here, we all three slept together! LOL!! Now, I did have my own bed, and I would sleep there often as well, but it was no thing to fall asleep in mom's room and stay there all night...

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mama to Braden (9), Caleb (3) & Julie (16 mo)
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#126 of 161 Old 02-10-2007, 08:33 PM
 
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i still snuggle with my parents. and plan to et my DC's sleep with us as long as they need/want to. no age limit.

treehugger.gif )O( unschooling, witchy mum to Addy(7) and Niamh(4)
Living with an invisible chronic illness.
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#127 of 161 Old 02-11-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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I'm really considering making one big bedroom for all of us for once our kids decide they want their own beds. A local 11 year old girl was recently raped in her room by a stranger so that's playing into those thoughts. If I'm there, nobody can sneak in to hurt my babies. Also a coworker lost two grandchildren in a fire. They were sleeping in seperate rooms from their parents. That also has played into my decision to cosleep.

I voted other, because I think it can vary from child to child. And I don't think it will be a problem to have a teenager sleep in our bed if she wants to. I'll just be happy she still wants to be with her parents and I'll take that love however I can get it!

Mama to DD (5) DD (3) and DS (2 months)
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#128 of 161 Old 02-11-2007, 12:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by momoffaith5 View Post
i said 4,after that they're on their own.if you allow it too long they become dependant on others,scared of the dark and stuff like that.
i would rather have an independant fearless child,who would blossom into a strong independant adult.
This resoning is the same to me as CIO, slinging etc. Why the push for independance? My dd who is almost 3 has been worn, coslept, never cio and is the most independant child ever. It is almost too much. She has no fear and is a total daredevil. She will go into dark rooms, drag a stepstool and turn on the lights. Then she shuts the door and plays alone. She KNOWS i am there for her always any time of day or night.

Also, i was never scared of the dark etc. In fact i liked such a dark room my parents had to put up multiple layers of dark curtains. Now my room is painted dark violet with heavy curtains. Dh on the other hand who did NOT cosleep was terrified of the dark. When we moved in together i had to wean him off of his "night light" (the tv). When he got too old for a night light (at 12) his parents gave him a tv instead and he slept with that on all night long so the room would be light.

As far as independant. i moved out at 18, bought my own house, paid for my own wedding, paid for my own college and i help MY parents out.
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#129 of 161 Old 02-12-2007, 12:34 AM
 
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I voted "other" ... but then our family bed included an 11 year old Collie/Irish Setter mix who was afraid of thunder storms and a blind 16 year old Yorkshire Terrier.
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#130 of 161 Old 02-12-2007, 12:50 AM
 
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Another "other" here - they're too old when they no longer want to.

Christi

Wife to one Amazing man, Mom to 3 Wonderful children with #4 due in Feb

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#131 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 01:11 AM
 
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I don't know why I felt compelled to come back here...but I have to clarify my earlier post again. Although I would prefer to not have both my girls in bed with us every single night after they are 2ish, I would never ever refuse either (or both) of them if they needed to be with us. Never.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#132 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 01:23 AM
 
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Other........ I'm 32 and I've been known to crawl in bed with my parents when I'm visiting them or they're visiting me. Rowan has his own bed but he can sleep with us whenever he wants. It breaks my heart when I hear stories of kids crying in their rooms, afraid of the dark or whatever, and their parents won't let them in their room.......how cold that is.

AND.........I prefer him in bed with me. The only reason he has his own bed is because USUALLY he prefers it.......I relish the nights he wants to "sleep in mommy woom". I get to smell him all night, cuddle with him, wake up to him rubbing my cheeks, I get to hear I love you over and over...........who wouldn't want that?
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#133 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 01:36 AM
 
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Another other here. When it stops working for us, or she leaves home.
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#134 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 01:47 AM
 
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I voted other. I don't think it's a case of "too old" ever - but sometimes it is a case of "too big" as in you can't comfortably fit all the people in the bed and get a good night's sleep. Especially for single parents with a larger bed- of if there's room - any age is appropriate!

I'm scratching my head here at who put 1 year olds as being too old to sleep with parents? Are they serious?

The nature of co-sleeping does definitely change over the years I'm sure. With babies it may actually be harder than with older kiddos because they don't interupt your sleep as much (well, unless they snore, kick, or steal covers).
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#135 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 12:47 PM
 
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I've slept in the same bed with several members of my family as an adult. My brother and I shared a bed through our travels through Asia, and we were 25 and 23 at the time. I shared a bed with my mother as we traveled through Europe just last year (when I was 30), and I shared it with my best friend when she was here to visit and dd slept in between us. My mom sometimes sleeps with me and dd if my husband has to stay up late. My aunt slept with me and dd the last time she visited, and recently my mom, my brother, dh and I all stayed in the same hotel room. DH and I slept together and mom and DB slept together. My mom is in her 60s and all of us were near 30! I think a PP said as long as the family in comfortable, it's a good sleeping arrangement! I'd sleep with anyone who doesn't kick me out in their sleep!
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#136 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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I voted other because my daughter is 12 and still sleeps in my bed at least once a week. I think that before age4 they should have their own bed and be sleeping in it some by age 8. But thats just me. I do not see me telling my daughter no you can never sleep with me again after she is 14.
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#137 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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I can't vote, because I have no idea. I didn't sleep with my parents, and my oldest is only two now. I'm still fine with him sleeping with me. I can't imagine having an older child sleep with me all the time, but I'm not sure where the cutoff would be.

I haven't read all the posts, so I don't know if this has been mentioned...but don't boys start having "wet dreams" around age 12 or so? Wouldn't that be a weird (and sticky, heh) situation to have your son in your bed when that happens?

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#138 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 05:05 PM
 
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When she started kicking me all night long with her cold feet.
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#139 of 161 Old 02-13-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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I think if a kid really wants to sleep in the family bed, there may still be a need on some level. I really don't want my kids over 7 to sleep with us, but they have never asked so it's a non issue.
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#140 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 03:10 PM
 
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Seems most people are choosing other!

I really think it is about what works for each family. I used to sleep with my son (he's 2 1/2 now) on a regular basis mainly because of our living situation (we have a 1-bedroom apartment, and if we're in the same room, we're going to be in the same bed, that's just how it seems to work out). However, I'm the kind of person who isn't very cuddly at night. I got a pull-out couch to sleep on just because I need my own space. So really, while I think some people are kind of crazy for sharing a bed with a child or multiple children, it's more that my own personal preference is to have space to myself.

Kate
single student mama to Owen (09/05/04)
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#141 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 03:55 PM
 
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Dh and I don't have children yet...and my parents only co-slept with us as babies.

All along and through about 11 years of age for all my brothers and I...we would co-sleep with my parents when we were sick, had a bad dream or were scared. I even remember being 12, scared about something and wanted to sleep with my parents. I was old enough to talk myself out of it, though haha.

So for some kids the need is there for along time, at least occasionally.

Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#142 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 05:19 PM
 
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I voted other. My sister co-slept with my mom when she was 13. My parents had just gotten divorced, I left for college, and she was scared to be alone.

My dad actually made an issue of it in court and my mother was court-ordered to stop co-sleeping.

(We are all on good terms now but it was rough for a while there.)
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#143 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 06:56 PM
 
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i LOVE that most people chose other, indicating what we all know is true, there is always an exception to the rule so why bother with the rule in the first place and just go with what works for you!
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#144 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 07:53 PM
 
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I voted other. My sister co-slept with my mom when she was 13. My parents had just gotten divorced, I left for college, and she was scared to be alone.

My dad actually made an issue of it in court and my mother was court-ordered to stop co-sleeping.

(We are all on good terms now but it was rough for a while there.)
I can not believe they could do that!! :

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#145 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 09:27 PM
 
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I think we will make a bed available around 3-4 in our room, with no expectations that she will sleep in it, and we will hope that she is a wee bit more full time by the time she is 8-9 ish. That said, she is always welcome.
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#146 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 10:08 PM
 
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I voted other. After my parents divorced when I was 10 my brother, mother and I had to move in with my grandparents for a while and we all shared a room, and therefore a bed. There are still times when my 6yr ds or my 9yr ds will come and get in bed with my dh and I if they don't feel well or have a bad dream. I figure they grow up and want to leave too fast anyway so why not.

Atara wife to Joseph mom to Kaleb and Jacob : Caeden Ashlyn : and our angel baby ,:,
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#147 of 161 Old 02-17-2007, 10:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hotwings640 View Post
I voted other.

When my kids get married then I am pretty sure that they are too big to be sleeping between me and my husband.
i love it


I dont think there is a time or a age i dont like sleeping alone so how is it fair for me to force my child to do it... i dont think there is a age that is too big i could never refuse my child needing comfort it is even beter when dd dont wake me up just crawls in bed
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#148 of 161 Old 02-20-2007, 01:40 AM
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i was around 10-11 when i went with my own bed, after that, we had beds all in one room, pretty much traning me and my brother to sleep on our own, but with my mom near by( dad passed on )

sooo your 9 year old dd still sleeping with you? there taint nothing wrong with that,

IMHO i belive that with how society is today, with how grown up even middle school can be i think 12 can be also a point where encouraging sleeping on their own since its a time when if they found out that they werent sleeping in their own bed theyd get made fun of which is, imho quite cruel, and this makes me wonder too, have you mammas ever had a instance whre your DC ever bought this issue up?
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#149 of 161 Old 02-20-2007, 01:44 AM
 
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I havent read the thread yet but I voted other.
I think that it just depends on the kid and family..ect ect ect..Everyone is different. Every situation is different.
My family gives me sh*t because our girl still sleeps with us. Shes 4 1/2. Whatever.
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#150 of 161 Old 02-20-2007, 05:09 AM
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I havent read the thread yet but I voted other.
I think that it just depends on the kid and family..ect ect ect..Everyone is different. Every situation is different.
My family gives me sh*t because our girl still sleeps with us. Shes 4 1/2. Whatever.
thats really odd that they would.
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