At the end of our rope... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-07-2007, 11:42 PM
 
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wow, are you one dedicated mom. I can feel some of your pain, as I have a high needs son, and although his sleep sucked as an infant, it has improved...but it was no where near as bad as you describe, which makes me think maybe others are right that there are medical issues here.
My only advice comes from your remarks that your child seems to fight sleep, takes 20 min naps, etc...I am currently reading Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." Personally, I found NCSS and any other sleep book to be worthless, and this one is practical and makes sense! She talks about how Time, Temperment, and Tension can really mess with your child's sleep. Time meaning your daily routine (some kids need it to be the same every single day--when they eat, when they nap, when they have active time vs. quiet time), Temperment meaning you can have a higher energy child, a more sensitive child, etc and that makes sleeping much much harder, and Tension meaning the stress that your child feels and that you feel (b/c the child feels your stress)--which in your case would be a big one, I'm sure. As you look into the medical things, it might not be a bad idea to look into this book (I got my copy at the library). We have been reading it here for the last week and I've made some big progress with helping my spirited, high-need child fall asleep and stay asleep, while still being there for him and meeting his needs. Hope that helps. I will keep you and your child in my prayers. I remember nights (actually, just had one the other night) where ds would be crying, and I'd be crying...so tired, feeling so hopeless. I know you said you didn't want to hear, "this too shall pass" but it will. I don't mean, just wait it out and it will get better. I mean that you *will* figure this out, together, your child and your dh and yourself, and things *will* get better. God doesn't give you more than you can handle, although I will admit it often feels like it. Your child is so blessed to have you for her mother, b/c you obviously love her immensely and are trying so hard to help her. Often I think that is what is most painful for us as mothers, feeling like we can't help our children, b/c we would give anything to take away their pain. You are in my thoughts. Please get some rest, any way it is possible.
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Old 02-08-2007, 02:20 AM
 
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My DS was just like your DD. I drew the line at restricting my diet... I tried it for a while, but I lost so much weight and couldn't eat anything... I just compounded my depression. We did have him on Zantac for the acid reflux and it helped a lot, but then he was just high needs.

The 20 minute naps during the day... waking every hour all night long... that was him to a T, until he was about 18 months old. We never did CIO, and I am convinced to this day that it would not have worked. My son only got angrier and more upset when he cried for long periods of time, and it sounds like your DD is the same.

You will have to find a way to let your DH cope with your DD. If you need more sleep than you are getting, that's your only choice. I was lucky, I could function on little sleep (I'd been working nights for years before I had DS) for quite a long time. However, when DS was about 18 months old, I had to stop working nights because I was so sleep deprived. I feel for you, mama. I've been there, and it SUCKS.

Because I worked nights, DH had to learn how to comfort DS and DS had to learn to accept comfort from DH. They did eventually find their routine.

I'm so sorry and I hope things get better for you soon!!
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Old 02-08-2007, 02:22 AM
 
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Oh, and also... now he is 3.5 and sleeps all night every night (barring illness or something) like a little angel. So don't worry that these "early bad sleep habits" will ruin your DD's sleep forever. Your time will come!!
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Old 02-08-2007, 02:55 AM
 
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I hope that you have found the medical assistance that it sounds like you all need to find a healthy balance of sleeping and eating. Certainly it sounds like you're well beyond anything described as a high needs baby.

I think it's great that you're getting help to get some extra sleep. But I hope you understand that it sounds like your struggles are more complicated than training a baby to sleep. It sounds like your baby is in distress, I think it's vital for you both to find out what is causing that. I don't know if anyone else said this... but if she does have allergies then formula would perhaps make her situation worse. Please dont' wean your baby until you have medical proof that that's what's causing her problems.

Hope you're all doing better.
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Old 02-08-2007, 03:01 AM
 
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i'm sorry i didn't read all the replies, but i wanted to add, in case it might help, that with our dd, her colicky behavior was due to ALL GRAINS, and ALL MILK. one easy thing you might be willing to try is cutting out the rice and potatoes for a couple of days and see what happens.

i hope that helps,
silvia
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Old 02-08-2007, 02:01 PM
 
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This was my older son.

He was reacting to every food out there, and once I took a food out, he would react to a new one. At the end, I ended up taking out 35-40 foods that him and I didn't eat.

Finally we discovered that him and I had a leaky gut. Food was sneaking out of teeny wholes in my gut and getting into my blood stream and then breastmilk and causing a huge reaction.

Please go to the Health and Healing forum and read about "Healing the Gut". This is the only thing that helped us, and I will say, save us.

Must love to you,
Amy
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Old 02-08-2007, 03:40 PM
 
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Just wanted to check in with you Mum2Be to see how you're doing with all of this.

be well,
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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Old 02-08-2007, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by motocita View Post
i'm sorry i didn't read all the replies, but i wanted to add, in case it might help, that with our dd, her colicky behavior was due to ALL GRAINS, and ALL MILK. one easy thing you might be willing to try is cutting out the rice and potatoes for a couple of days and see what happens.

i hope that helps,
silvia

Thanks. While people have told me to cut both of those out as well, I just can't. I lived on 8 foods (4 veggies, one meat, a nut butter, basmati rice and potatoes) for 3.5 months. I CAN'T cut out anymore. Seriously. It's not that I'm not willing to do it, it's that my body can't take it. I have severe eczema on my hands from malnourishment (it got worse the more restricted my diet got), my hair is falling out in clumps and I have bare spots on my head now , I'm smaller than a size 2 (I refuse to buy size 0 jeans...) and have no hope of keeping any weight on with my current, slightly more expanded, diet.

So if it would help to cut the rice and potatoes, I don't think it's fair to my body to do so. Does that sound fair?

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-08-2007, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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BTW: I'm currently working on an update and replies to other people

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-08-2007, 05:46 PM
 
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Thanks. While people have told me to cut both of those out as well, I just can't. I lived on 8 foods (4 veggies, one meat, a nut butter, basmati rice and potatoes) for 3.5 months. I CAN'T cut out anymore. Seriously. It's not that I'm not willing to do it, it's that my body can't take it. I have severe eczema on my hands from malnourishment (it got worse the more restricted my diet got), my hair is falling out in clumps and I have bare spots on my head now , I'm smaller than a size 2 (I refuse to buy size 0 jeans...) and have no hope of keeping any weight on with my current, slightly more expanded, diet.

So if it would help to cut the rice and potatoes, I don't think it's fair to my body to do so. Does that sound fair?
My gosh, I can't see how anyone can even suggest that you cut out more food, you are right of course its not fair to your body. Your dd needs you to be healthy so you can take care of her, I hope you can get the help she needs so that you can take care of you.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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Old 02-08-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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Thanks. While people have told me to cut both of those out as well, I just can't. I lived on 8 foods (4 veggies, one meat, a nut butter, basmati rice and potatoes) for 3.5 months. I CAN'T cut out anymore. Seriously. It's not that I'm not willing to do it, it's that my body can't take it. I have severe eczema on my hands from malnourishment (it got worse the more restricted my diet got), my hair is falling out in clumps and I have bare spots on my head now , I'm smaller than a size 2 (I refuse to buy size 0 jeans...) and have no hope of keeping any weight on with my current, slightly more expanded, diet.

So if it would help to cut the rice and potatoes, I don't think it's fair to my body to do so. Does that sound fair?
No, it's not. You need to have some other foods to make up for it. Quinoa, millet, teff, etc. LOTS of oil to make up calories. In your situation, I would be seriously considering neocate or elecare. I have been top 8 and gluten free for a year now (recently added dairy and non wheat gluten back in) and just that is hard enough. I did a TED of just free range turkey, rice, sweet potatoes, pears, olive and rice bran oils, and squash and could only handle it for 1.5 weeks before giving up (luckily, his mystery reactions were due to Rice Dream dairy contamination, which I didn't realize was going on, so I stopped the Rice Dream and the TED at the same time w/ no problems.) People who have done multiple food ED's understand, others might get that it's hard, but not really get HOW hard, PHYSICALLY as well as MENTALLY, it is. Are you taking a multivitamin? You NEED to take one.

Have you joined http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org ? If not, I strongly suggest joining TODAY and posting your story in the main forum. If you can't afford the $25, send a message to the webmaster explaining your situation and they'll get you in within a few days (no, they don't want personal info, just why you need them.) There are several experienced moms there to help. A few also post here, but unless you go to the special needs board or the allergy board, they probably won't see this.
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Old 02-08-2007, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all of your replies. I will start by addressing the past few days sleep-wise, since that's what this thread was started for, then I will address the various thoughts on allergies and testing some of you have suggested.

It's been better for the past two (or three?) nights. She still wakes about 6 times in between the time I put her to bed and the time I actually join her (about 2 hours). It's a pain, but I don't know how to KEEP her asleep...But she is sleeping until 6:30 a.m. and waking every hour in between. This is HUGE improvement over the previous week. She hasn't been staying awake for long periods around 2 a.m. It's amazing how just waking every hour and quickly going back to sleep seems like Heaven

It's almost like a "bad" food has to work itself out of her system. She was doing well for a few days and then I had 1/3 cup of sheep's yogurt and it all went to hell. Then magically a week later, she is doing better. I'm scared to death to try anything new or different in my diet now. She is MUCH more pleasant during the day because of the sleep she is getting at night.

Her napping is still the same. In fact, for two days in a row she only slept for about 30 minutes total in my lap. I tried and tried to nurse her to sleep in bed when she seemed tired, but she would wake right up and want to play seconds later.

Then today she slept for an hour in the car. She fell asleep 5 minutes before we reached the co-op and so I sat in the car while she snoozed. Can I tell you how glad I was that I grabbed a book incase that happened? Dh thinks I'm crazy to sit in the car and let her sleep, but any sleep she can get, I will gladly let her have. The we got home and she slept 45 minutes in my lap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's never done that before! She is now down for the night, although I've got the monitor on and am waiting to rush in there as soon as she wakes up. If I don't, she gets into "full awake mode" and won't go back to sleep...

So things are better. I feel more rested, more able to function during the day, although still sooooooooo very tired. It's just a matter of how long it will last this time. I just wish it could stay like this so I can be a good mother to her. She is now laughing and giggling and smiling all the time because she is getting a good 12 hours of sleep out of 24, even though it's in hour chunks. She has more fun and mommy can be fun too! It's so wonderful being able to kiss your baby and tell her you love her, tickle her, give her "butterfly" kisses on her belly, instead of resenting the fact that she's in your life. That's how different sleep can make you feel.


************************************************** **************

Okay, onto the allergy part.

We have taken her to so many doctors. The only "conventional" one, so to speak, was the GI ped. specialist. He was the LEAST helpful, proclaiming that babies can only be allergic to milk or soy and what was happening with her when I would eat a "bad" food was just a coincidence. Oh please...

So we kinda swore off conventional doctors then and there because it was such a horrible experience. Elisabeth was screaming because they were poking her and were just so cold to begin with. I wanted to run right out of there. And he was supposed to be the best in the state.

I just finished a "leaky gut" test from Smokey Labs (i think it's called that) and am awaiting the results. I've had blood tests which show that my cholesterol is so low that my liver is producing fat for my body. There was also something about my cells being too thin. (Didn't quite understand that though.) Saturday I go in for more blood tests: hormone levels and thyroid.

We have an x-ray order for dd which we will do. I'm just hesitating because she has been through so much and I have listened to her screaming for so long, that any more screaming or crying (which I know will happen when she's strapped to a table for the x-ray) just seems unbearable to me and I didn't want to do it. I just have a gut feeling that they won't find anything "physically wrong" with her. But I'm probably wrong...who knows. I just don't get why she could be so good for a while and then I eat a bad food and she gets worse, and how that could be a physical problem that they'd find on an x-ray.

You see, I want to rule EVERYTHING out before I wean her. She is so incredibly sensitive as it is, and weaning her would have great emotional affects I feel. I can't even imagine how hard that would be. And there's no telling she would tolerate a formula. But I tell ya, I've thought many times about how much "easier" it would be if she would just take a bottle of formula and I could actually eat again.

I have a call into a ped. in the area who is supposed to be pretty good. I'm going to try to get an appt. with her.

I've also been waiting to do more testing on dd until the leaky gut test results come back for me, as that could explain a lot.

BTW: we have HORRIBLE insurance. To add dd and I to dh's plan through work would cost us over $12,000 a year. Yes, I wrote that correctly. We just can't afford it, so dd and I are on a private plan that is cheap, but barely covers a thing and has a huge deductable. So everything we are doing now is coming out of pocket. Heck, her stool sample alone was over $300!
So this is another reason we have been semi-reluctant to do a whole bunch of testing. Not that dd's health isn't important enough, but we also need to eat and live. Because of my diet, the special foods I am eating cost us over $200 a week, not even counting dh's food.

I can't complain anymore about the diet I am on. I've been able to add more things in (although most are rice-based which is NOT good for the whole rotation diet thing), but I am getting better nutrition. Still lacking in many areas, but it's loads better than what I was doing. I'm even reaching 2,000 calories some days!!

Another problem I think I may be dealing with is my milk supply. After last week's stressors because of the sleep thing, my limited diet, low calories, etc. I believe my milk is starting to dry up. I've suspected a decrease in supply for a while, but the past few days have been bad. This is a whole nother thread though So this could explain her very frequent waking the past couple of nights. She just isn't getting enough

Okay, that's all for now. I can't believe I just typed that WHOLE thing without dd waking up!!

Thanks again for everyone's thoughtful replies. It means so much to me to have support!

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-08-2007, 10:33 PM
 
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It does make sense for it to take a week to get a "bad" food out of her system.

good luck!

-Angela
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Old 02-08-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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I just wanted to add, that when we started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet we added food into our rotation that my son reacted to--as long as it wasn't anaphalactic (sp). My son wasn't allergic to anything perse, just reacting.

This made it hard for a lil' bit, but the thought is that your gut & your child's gut will heal and as long as you were consuming food that wouldn't kill your child, nor aggravate the gut, all was good. Rice and potatoes will aggravate.

Check out http://www.pecanbread.com and the book, "Breaking the Viscious Cycle". I cannot recommend this diet enough. I was totally in your place years ago and struggled with it for years before I finally had an answer.

There is also some yahoo groups, search "SCD".

I wanted to add, that I understand your desire to give a bottle and be able to eat---not that you want to do it at all, but it is very tempting. But, there is a problem in your gut and the gut is the heart of your immune system. If I figured this out years ago when Aidan was still a babe, I'm sure I wouldn't be on my cancer journey right now. I am very sure of this. You need to heal not only for your daughter, but for you.

Much love to you,
Amy
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Old 02-09-2007, 10:42 AM
 
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BTW: we have HORRIBLE insurance. To add dd and I to dh's plan through work would cost us over $12,000 a year. Yes, I wrote that correctly. We just can't afford it, so dd and I are on a private plan that is cheap, but barely covers a thing and has a huge deductable. So everything we are doing now is coming out of pocket. Heck, her stool sample alone was over $300!
So this is another reason we have been semi-reluctant to do a whole bunch of testing. Not that dd's health isn't important enough, but we also need to eat and live. Because of my diet, the special foods I am eating cost us over $200 a week, not even counting dh's food.

I can't complain anymore about the diet I am on. I've been able to add more things in (although most are rice-based which is NOT good for the whole rotation diet thing), but I am getting better nutrition. Still lacking in many areas, but it's loads better than what I was doing. I'm even reaching 2,000 calories some days!!

Another problem I think I may be dealing with is my milk supply. After last week's stressors because of the sleep thing, my limited diet, low calories, etc. I believe my milk is starting to dry up. I've suspected a decrease in supply for a while, but the past few days have been bad. This is a whole nother thread though So this could explain her very frequent waking the past couple of nights. She just isn't getting enough

Okay, that's all for now. I can't believe I just typed that WHOLE thing without dd waking up!!

Thanks again for everyone's thoughtful replies. It means so much to me to have support!
I am guessing you have a crappy Anthem policy? I have one myself and it covers nothing, however with everything you guys are dealing with, have you considered applying for Maine Care? That may help with some of the costs.

Shay

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Old 02-09-2007, 11:34 AM
 
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I'm sorry to read your story, Mama. I don't know anything about these medical problems that people are suggesting, but I do know that a sick and depressed mama cannot heal a baby. You have got to eat to recover from your birth. You need protein and vit C. You need good fats. Can you eat avocado? I'm so sorry for you. My own personal philosophy is that when things start to get too complicated, it's probably because it's too complicated. I would just suggest to you that DH takes DD for a long 2-3 hour drive so that you can rest. When you are rested, ask your heart what's the thing to do. You might come up with something that will make things better for all of you. Don't kill yourself to heal her.
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Old 02-09-2007, 11:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am guessing you have a crappy Anthem policy? I have one myself and it covers nothing, however with everything you guys are dealing with, have you considered applying for Maine Care? That may help with some of the costs.

Shay
Nope. It's called MegaLife. We don't qualify for Maine Care because of dh's income

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-09-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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Children can often qualify by themselves for Medicaid. You have to know who to ask. I would bet that Maine group would have an idea.

Swearing off doctors because one doctor was an ....well...see I guess you don't know my story. Basically I did the same thing. It's come back to bite me in the in a big way. There are idiots in every profession.

Scrape together your money, get in your car, go to Boston, and see Mark Korson.
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Old 02-09-2007, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Scrape together your money, get in your car, go to Boston, and see Mark Korson.
that would be a nightmare! she hates the car if the ride is longer than 45 minutes 3.5 hours? that woould be rough.

i called a ped today that i've heard is good, but couldn't get an appt. until the 23rd

so who's mark korson and where is he?

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-09-2007, 01:58 PM
 
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Children can often qualify by themselves for Medicaid. You have to know who to ask. I would bet that Maine group would have an idea.
Actually that's what MaineCare is, its the insurance/Medicaid for kids but it is still tied to income. Here in Maine it can either be free or have a small costs, but I think for a family of 3, the maximum income is about $2700 so if her dh makes too much money, they won't qualify. Unfortunately here in Maine there are a lot of us in that boat of having high deductible crap policies that cover nothing yet not being eligible for assistance.

Mum2Be, are you on the Mindful Maine Mamas board? Its a group of AP minded Mamas and while most of the Moms are based in Southern Maine, you might be able to get referrals and information to see if there are any specialists you are not aware of. I find that most Maine Mamas seem to post there rather than here at MDC, if you are interesred in joining, Pm and I will send you the URL, it is a private board.

Shay

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Old 02-09-2007, 02:09 PM
 
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that would be a nightmare! she hates the car if the ride is longer than 45 minutes 3.5 hours? that woould be rough.

i called a ped today that i've heard is good, but couldn't get an appt. until the 23rd

so who's mark korson and where is he?
I totally feel you on this. But, having put DS through some horrendous things (test for reflux, tons of blood tests, etc), actually figuring out what was bothering him was, in the end, worth it. It's horrible in the midst, but getting answers, and the sleep that went along with those answers (sometimes! ) was worth it in the end. Not discounting the immediate suffering -- I don't mean worth it like that. But just worth taking a long-term perspective, which was really hard for me to do when none of us were sleeping. So, I guess I'd say that it's worth a look or consideration to see if you might be able to slog through a horrendous trip to get the input of a recommended expert. Oh, and the offer still stands -- I'm right outside of Boston, so if you need any in-city support, I'll be there! Promise.

super duper hugs and restful thoughts to you, mama.
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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Old 02-09-2007, 02:19 PM
 
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Mark Korson is a metabolic geneticist in Boston. He is competent and kind.

You AND your daughter both need to be worked up for metabolic disease.

WRT the car. Take an airplane then. There are medical flights for free for people in need. Ask for help from your friends, your family, your neighbors.

There is almost no situation where help cannot be found if you know where to look.


As far as Medicaid, every state is different. But we were told the same thing. Our baby ended up qualifying with his own income. Which was nothing. Like I said, you have to know who to talk to to apply this way. Healthcare and insurance are horrid all over the US. I'm not saying I want socialized medicine, but I'm so sick and tired of people not being able to get help because of insurance barriers.


Look mum2be, I guess I've hardened. I don't CIO at all. But crying in the car and holding down for an xray just isn't being through a lot to me. Your baby needs the work up, the blood draws, the urine, etc....whether it causes her to cry or not. One has to find that place in themselves where they hold it together to take care of a child in need.

You are wasting away. And who knows what will happen to your daughter once she weans....or once breastmilk alone cannot sustain her. Or once your supply drops off. As it is, she has strange smelling urine, doesn't sleep. Can she sit? Roll over? Does she mouth things?

It's disturbing that you are wasting away on an elimination diet. That doesn't happen to most people. With metabolic disease, often parents are either carriers or actually affected by the disease and never knew it before. Carriers can also be symptomatic.

I hate for there to be pain in the world at all. But it's a calculation. Some pain here to maybe save much more damage now and later.
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Old 02-09-2007, 02:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I totally feel you on this. But, having put DS through some horrendous things (test for reflux, tons of blood tests, etc), actually figuring out what was bothering him was, in the end, worth it. It's horrible in the midst, but getting answers, and the sleep that went along with those answers (sometimes! ) was worth it in the end. Not discounting the immediate suffering -- I don't mean worth it like that. But just worth taking a long-term perspective, which was really hard for me to do when none of us were sleeping. So, I guess I'd say that it's worth a look or consideration to see if you might be able to slog through a horrendous trip to get the input of a recommended expert. Oh, and the offer still stands -- I'm right outside of Boston, so if you need any in-city support, I'll be there! Promise.

super duper hugs and restful thoughts to you, mama.
megin
You're so sweet : Thanks for the offer! I know that if there was something wrong, I would kick myself for not figuring it out sooner. I'm going to try to do the x-ray today...

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-09-2007, 02:45 PM
 
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Do you actually think that nothing is wrong?
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Old 02-09-2007, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you actually think that nothing is wrong?
Well, to be quite honest, in my gut I feel that there isn't anything physically "wrong" with her. I feel like this is something that will get better with time. I feel that food is an issue and probably both of our guts. All of the doctors we have seen don't seem to be concerned that there is anything wrong with her either. They think we are dealing with a VERY sensitive baby and that the food issues are causing a lot more problems, like trouble sleeping. They're skeptical that any tests will result in a diagnosis.

Please keep in mind that my "gut" feeling is NOT what is keeping me from getting these tests done. It's mostly the fact that I had a screaming baby for the first 3.5 months of her life. It was horrible. Anything that would cause her to scream more, we avoided. People said it was colic, food allergies, emotional distress, etc. Knowing that these tests would cause her more pain and result in more screaming was almost too much to bear. Does that make sense? Every time she screamed, my heart would break.

That being said, she is hitting all of the developmental milestones despite everything. She started "sitting" at almost 4 months. She's getting better and better at it too. She's been alert from day one and is so aware of her environment. Everyone comments on how alert she is.

I'm not finished this reply yet, but my computer is about to crash, so I have to cut it short for now

Mama to DD 06' Partner to Sasa
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Old 02-09-2007, 03:53 PM
 
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It does make sense. And like I said, my own personal experience both taints and informs my opinion. And like I said, I've hardened out of necessity. It's not that my heart doesn't break when my child has something painful that he has to go through, but unfortunately the ends are necessary and there are no other means in our case.

Is no one concerned about you though? I know your diet is limited, but so are diets of many people, and they don't lose so much weight, hair, etc.

IMvvvvvhO, the two are related.


FWIW, my older son had no apparent developmental delays. It took a very skilled couple of practioners to spot the issues because he is otherwise so advanced. Not to throw another wrench into the mix. And after 8 months, his issues did SEEM to resolve.

Until they came back with a vengence.

But to see my children: they look normal. And many of the doctors we have seen don't think there is anything wrong that they won't outgrow or can't be attributed to other things.

And looking back, I felt I was trusting my gut then too.


But in my world view, everything happens for a reason. So I try not to be too hard on myself.

I hope that you don't think I'm being too harsh. I know that I can come across that way. It isn't at all my intention.

But from my distant perspective, over a board, based on what you are describing, something is wrong. This may be the only sign of it until she is 6 or 8 or 15. But something is not right.

If I were in Maine, I would go see Mark Korson.

But that's me.
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Old 02-09-2007, 03:55 PM
 
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Okay, posted to the wrong thread there.
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Old 02-09-2007, 03:56 PM
 
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Hi,
I just reading your post and all the others, and your dd sounds a lot like my first dd and my ds who is 7 months.

The only difference with me now with my second is that I am different. My dd is now four and she sleeps through the night 12 hrs straight without a peep and has for some time-she wakes to pee occasionally. I never did cio with her. she nursed every 2 hrs all night until she was 2.5. I took her to a million drs, homeopaths, chiropractors, reiki etc. I eliminitated things in my diet to no avail.

my son definitely has allergies, he has mucous in his stool despite me being dairy,soy, gluten nut, etc etc free for months. he has horrible red cheeks and itchy neck. He nurses ALL NIGHT long every night. He will nap for 45 min by himself 3 times a day, but that is it, never more. I have to hold him, play with him etc all day or he screams. If dh tries to comfort him he will not stop crying.
I had him blood tested for allergies and it showed potatoes and peanuts. I hadn't been eating peanuts, but cut out potatoes and things improved for a week. Now they are bad again. It is a horrible feeling to feel like you are doing all you can and still not see results.

I would say, cio will not help you. It seems like you know that. For me reading Healthy Sleep was one of the worst things i ever did. It totally depressed me, scared me and made me feel like a complete failure. My dd is not damaged from what I did regarding her sleep. She does not have adhd or any other problem that Dr. Weisbuth claims your child will get if you don't let them cio or ensure somehow that they sleep the requisit 12 hrs a night. Really, she is fine.

With my son, I try to keep this in mind. I know how hard it is. Hold your baby, love her, do what she needs. She will grow, things will change, they really will.
For your sleep at night I highly recommend REscue Sleep-it is a spray you can get at whole foods that really helps me relax and not be so frazzled by the night wakings. also, remove the clock from your room and don't count how many times she woke. That helps a lot. Try to focus on the good and not the bad. You will start to see more of the good and your dd will feel that.

I know it is easy to say. I have been there and am there right now with my son. he really nursed the entire night last night. I cannot nap when he does because my 4 yr old needs me too.

Good luck to you!


PS...if you dd is growing and otherwise thriving, I doubt that she has a serious medical condition. Not that I am a dr though.
Also, as she grows, she will probably be really smart, curious, and intune with people around her.
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Old 02-09-2007, 07:49 PM
 
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To the OP:

Insurance: Check out some Health care savings accounts... ours works in conjunction with a High Deductible health care account... how it works is we put our own money into a mutual fund type account, and use that money specifically (and only) for medical needs. The money also earns interest and rolls over from year to year. It is also considered a tax deductible thing. And ours has a high deductible... we would have to spend $7000, but they pick up all the expenses after that. However, our monthly bill for all of us is around $300. Soooooo just thought I'd offer that to you.

Allergies: don't let the doctors drag you through a bunch of tests. Get you and your daughter an allergy test as soon as possible. Go to an allergist, and there are different kinds. There are skin prick kinds (which I think tend to cost less) and there are the blood draw kinds.

Health & Money: once you have the test done you will the know which foods you can add back in to your diet and which foods your daughter needs to avoid. It will take most of the guesswork out of what to eat. I think you would be relieved. Honestly, I think you have to ask yourself how much would you pay for your troubles to be resolved? Or would you rather not spend the money and not find out? I know those aren't entirely fair questions, however, you have to consider that there are ways to resolve your issues.

Good Luck to you!!
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Old 02-09-2007, 07:50 PM
 
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I also wanted to add that one way of keeping medical expenses down is to do a lot of your own research. The Kids With food allergies website would be a great resource for you. I think then you can pick and choose where you are spending your money... rather than letting the doctors take a guess.
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