Baby due in November.. what to do? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-18-2007, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our 15 m.o. is still in bed with us and I had no plans of changing anything. I just found out that I am pregnant with #2, and I have some concerns.

Anyone here ever coslept while pregnant? How did that go? Also, what about after the baby comes? Chances are I will have another C-section because I live in a state that is very VBAC unfriendly. I am worried about him being in bed with me and possibly hurting the scar, also waking up because of the baby, etc. He does climb on me a lot in bed. I LOVE cosleeping and I am still nursing and do not want to stop that, either.

I was hoping to have a little more space between kids but I am 33 and also did not want to wait TOO long because it took us 7 years to have the first baby! So we weren't trying but were not careful, either. Now I am feeling really guilty about getting pregnant again.

Mom to two beautiful boys, now in school to be a therapist and help other women with PPD.  
 

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#2 of 8 Old 03-19-2007, 11:54 PM
 
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we co-sleep out 16 month ofl and i too am due in Nov

What we have done

1. I moved DS from my side to the middle -- and encourage cuddling with dh -- this means encourageing dh too --he will pat DSs back then STOP -- uhhhhh you keep it up till he is alseep....... course due to this DS did try to latch on DH this weekend at 2 am -- DH was less than impressed "HE BIT ME"......

this way baby can be between momma and rail .....

2. I hope and pray to get him to nurse less..... i know he won't stop and we are going to TN anyway.

3. I have started rolling on to my back to sleep (I know i can't keep that up) rather than sleeping C to C with DS face to face..... a little pulling back. I have also tried to trun my back to him -- letting his feet

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#3 of 8 Old 03-20-2007, 11:13 PM
 
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We're still kind of trying to figure this out too. We have DD's crib moved up against our bed and even with the side rail lowered down, there is still a little lip there. We're working on getting her to sleep over in the crib so she is more in her own space. Not sure where baby is going to sleep yet...
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#4 of 8 Old 03-21-2007, 11:32 AM
 
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Does your DS have his own bed or crib?
Does he go to sleep when you do or before you do at night?
Will you have a crib or bassinet or cosleeper for the new baby?

I highly recommend having at least one other room with a bed in it by the time the new baby comes. DS was in a crib when I found out I was pregnant with #2, but we brought him into bed with us when he awoke at night. Our sleeping arrangement was DH-DS-Me. While I was pregnant we transitioned DS from crib to twin bed, still allowing him to come in to our bed during the night. After the baby was born she slept in a bassinet right next to the bed and I would pull her into the bed next to me at times during the night. It was DH-DS-Me-DD. This really didn't work too well and the children tended to wake each other up. Plus, there wasn't really enough room in our queen size bed. Things have a way of working themselves out, I think. We just kept adjusting our sleeping arrangements as the needs of the kids changed. It went kind of like this:

Both kids in our room, sometimes both in bed.

DD in our room, DH goes to DS's room when he wakes up. DH sleeps with DS.

DD in her room in crib, DS comes into our bed when he wakes up, I go to DD when she wakes up, nurse, put her back into her bed. I know this seems backwards, but it worked for us for a long time. DD slept a lot better in a room by herself. We kept a monitor on high, so I know it wasn't that I just didn't hear her.

Currently DD has not been wanting to go back to sleep in the crib after she wakes up for her early morning feeding (between 4:30 and 6), so I take her into DS's room and we cosleep in his twin bed until about 7. It's like musical beds. Everyone starts out in their own room. DS comes into our bed around 1 or 2. DD wakes in the morning and she and I go to DS's room.

I know cosleeping with four (or more) in the bed works well for a lot of people, too, so maybe it will for you. Flexible sleeping arrangements have worked better for us.
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#5 of 8 Old 03-21-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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our ds has his own bed -- a double on the floor in his room.

he naps there and starts his night there -- coming to our room the next time he wakes after i am in bed.....

however he is always in our bed before mid-night -- he wakes on average every 2 hours.

We are planning ot co-sleep both kids, as we agreed when we TTC NOT to force T to gorw up any faster in any way due to the baby -- we are simply going to have two babies. DS needs won't stop or lesson when i give birth a 2nd time, they will in fact grow.

My hope is he iwill start to night nurse less,

we have moved him to by DH for other adult cuddles besides momma and the boobies.

I have started putting minor distance between us at night -- so i can get up to pee without disturbing him, and so eventually i can move with the baby without it effecting him.

I have started rooling over so my back is to him, letting him put his feet on my back or something, so he gets used to "different things". KWIM? so i can roll to face a baby without him waking up cuz he has never felt my back and not my fornt.

but i figure both my babies will only be young once, and they both need a rock solid foundation for the future -- we will do what we have to do.....if i wasn't going to do the best FOR THEM then I would not have had them.

DH comments that is baby is keeping him and T up -- they will go to T's room and sleep. in reality I think T will keep the baby up -- at least when it is tiny and sleeping 90% of the 24 hours..... so DH might get to go to the other bed with T so momma and Baby can sleep.

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#6 of 8 Old 03-27-2007, 10:57 AM
 
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Our DS is 16 mo, and new baby is due in October. We just recently put a twin mattress on the floor between our (queen size) bed and the wall. Our bed is just a mattress on a boxspring. His is just the mattress, but there's little enough difference he can fall asleep next to me, then roll or be rolled right into his own bed next to ours without even waking.
We're planning on keeping the baby in a basinett by the bedside, or possibly in our actual bed, that said, I'm still concerned about them waking each other, etc.
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#7 of 8 Old 03-27-2007, 11:19 AM
 
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First of all congratulations!

I recommend a huge family bed, even if that means putting several mattresses next to each other on the floor so that nobody rolls out. Our bedroom is tiny, so it's basically one big bed, but we all have enough room, plus some, because of this.

You could also try keeping one of those pregnancy pillows between you and DS, if you're comfortable with DS having a pillow near him. That would give you a buffer.
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#8 of 8 Old 04-03-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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Mom0810 -- I jsut wanted to check in on you.

How is it going?

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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