I have a night owl. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 04-26-2007, 02:46 AM - Thread Starter
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I don't know where to begin, so sorry if I start rambling. My daughter is 10 mos old. She sleeps with us, I mean me. My dh works nights and I am so used to him not being there when I sleep for 4 nights a week that on his nights off we are both comfortable with him in the spare bedroom. Weird to a lot of people I am sure, but it's not that bad. The problem I am having is with my dd. She has very unpredictable sleep patterns. Here is how today worked out for example: We woke up at 11am. She napped from 12:30-2. She napped again from 5:30-7. Then at 9 she went to sleep again. I thought this was a little early but she was extremely fussy so I thought she just needed more sleep or something since she's been practicing walking and other new things. Anways, she sleeps from 9pm-12am on and off. Finally at midnight I stop nursing her b/c she's been nap nursing the whole time. And I am telling you, if I nurse her for hours at a time for some reason I get really frustrated and uneasy. So at midnight when I cut her off from nursing (bc I realize by now she is not going to sleep for the night and continueing lying in bed is only going to prolong her bedtime even longer). Anyway it's 12:30 now and she is happily playing with no intention of going back to sleep until 5am I am sure. This happens a lot. For a few weeks she did have a predictable 4 hour schedule which she set herself. But it seems that *anytime* that I leave the house, that schedule gets disrupted somehow and I end up having these long long long long nights. So I've found myself isolating myself and never going anywhere for days at a time to ensure that I will be able to go to sleep at a decent hour. This is driving me crazy!!!!!!!! WHen she stays up so late she isn't fussing or whatever, she just wants to play. I know that if she didn't have AP parents she would be put in a crib (if we had one) to cio. I just don't understand how to get into a predictable routine that is child-led. I know I must be doing something wrong, I don't know ANY ONE ELSE who's baby stays up until 4 or 5 am. Also how do you maintain some kind of routine and be able to leave the house? My dh works nights so I am here by myself. Nightime Parenting has been the single most hardest aspect of parenting for me these past 10mos b/c I've been having to do it myself. Thanks for any advice,tips or suggestions.
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#2 of 2 Old 04-27-2007, 04:57 AM
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Hi there, just thought I'd put my 10 cents worth in, though I'm probably not qualified...I have been reading some other threads and have noticed a number of other people who have had similar problems, i.e baby waking at 2am for the day etc. They all seemed to be temporary problems. It sounds like your babes night/ day cycle is a bit mixed up. I think if I was in your situation I would actually try to take baby out in the daytime to expose her to the sunshine as it may start to get her more attuned to the day/night thing. I would have a bit of daylight coming in the room while bubbs has her naps to differentiate the night and day, and I don't know, maybe try to make things really boring at night for playing. When my bubba wakes at 3am to play sometimes I try to persistently lie him back down next to me and /or turn my back on him and pretend to be asleep. It takes a while but does seem to work. Maybe you could also make lots of noise etc during the day time naps.
For a while there I got a bit obsessed with trying to get my baby to nap better and started to never go out so that he would get a proper nap because he slept better at night if he napped well. I'm so glad I just gave up on trying to get it right and now i take him around everywhere and he sleeps wherever. Someone said to me he might have been picking up on my anxiety over sleep issues. and it made sense to me so I certainly tried. Not that things are perfect though!
PS My partner also sleeps in a separate bed and is okay about it too. Just works better for us at the moment. Good luck!
pps you might try the la leche league website?
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