|View Poll Results: How do you get your co-sleeping baby to go to sleep?|
|Nurse baby until asleep then leave room||100||64.94%|
|Nurse/cuddle, then leave while awake & baby goes to sleep alone||9||5.84%|
|Nurse/cuddle then leave & baby 'cries it out'||1||0.65%|
|Baby stays up until I go to bed||28||18.18%|
|Other (please explain)||16||10.39%|
|Voters: 154. You may not vote on this poll|
I'm wondering what others do to actually GET their co-sleeping kids to bed? For the past couple of weeks, she's ended up staying up late & going to bed with us. I HATE this. I feel like I need a break at the end of the day, adn I can't go to bed at 8:00pm.
ANY suggestions would be appreciated!!
Maddie actually did what you are describing at about 12 months. Those were really hard times for us and we just tried to be consistant with her bedtime routine without letting her CIO. She would nurse then I would put her in the bed and stay with her for a few minutes. Then I would leave. Sometimes she was fine. Others she would cry and I would start over or her daddy would go to her and comfort her until she was asleep. She is 2 now and goes into her own bed and falls right to sleep everynight. A lot can change in a few weeks so my advice is to keep doing what you are doing and it may all resolve in a short time.
I love my girlsMadaline(9), Mary-Grace(7), Georgia(3), & Evelyn(1)
I can see how frustrating it would be for you, being used to having "me time" in the evenings and now you don't. But if your DD is not suffering for it, maybe you could just hang in there. I'll bet this phase doesn't last too long.
Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)
SaraC - Isn't interesting how different babies can be. She's really easy in most respects & goes down for naps w/out a peep. Hopefully you're right & this is a phase & it will pass!!!
Each one is so different.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Some nights, I still lay next to her while she goes to sleep. It just depends on what kind of day she has had and how much cuddling she needs. Usually, however, I can nurse her and cuddle on the bed and then I place her in the crib and she will go to sleep. I make sure that she gets to bed as soon as she starts feeling tired. I'm really into following a toddler's natural rythms of sleeping. Those rythms do not coincide with an adults. That's why, in our family, we do not believe in allowing dd (or any other future children) to stay up until we go to bed. We don't go to bed until 11 or 12 p.m some times. Whenever dd falls asleep too late (like when we visit family on the weekend), her sleep is consistently disjointed and she has a lousy day. When I watch her closely, however, and start the wind down process AS SOON as she starts getting tired, she goes to sleep like a champ. Sometimes, this is at 6:30 at night, depending on how long and when her last nap was. Also, I do not let her fall asleep on the breast. We did this for the first 5-6 months and then I realized I was doing more harm than good with that. She would stir and wake every 25 minutes sometimes rooting for the breast. Even though she cried the first few times I didn't let her fall asleep on the breast, she adapted very quickly. Sometimes, if she seems to be falling in the habit of waking just to nurse, DH will go in and soothe her. She rebelled the first couple of times, but now she goes back to sleep a lot faster for him than for me. With me, she expects to be nursed right away.
DD started falling into some bad sleep habits around 12 months too. I totally remember stressing and reading Pantly and Gordon then. That's when we started working on helping to self soothe. The key, for us, was moving her bedtime earlier and sticking to the same routine every night. Good luck to you!
It was simply killing me.
Now, we all sleep together and only wake up 4x/night.
I posted on the toddler board about how we're going through major sleep struggles these days. My dd is 21 months and has never been much of a cuddler besides nursing, which she does constantly still, and now when she refuses the breast and won't be held I don't know what to do.
But on the bright side, she did fall asleep at 11:30pm tonight
So that's at least a little improvement
I just wanted to add that my son, at 14 months, went to only one shorter nap a day about the same age. That took most getting used to for me. Having less time to do things while he was asleep has been a difficult adjustment for me.
He also had some difficulty with sleeping around then, only now seeming to settle down. I think part of it is separation anxiety, and part is developmental, as they begin to walk, talk and cut molars. By about 18 months my older kids were back to being more consistently settled, but the span between 12 and 18 can be rough on and off.
Both our kids went onto the front basket of the shopping bicycle, and got cheufeured around the park untill they dropped off (not out!).
For 2 years, from a few months to 2.5 or so, it was the only way, daily, come rain or snow!!!
|Both our kids went onto the front basket of the shopping bicycle, and got cheufeured around the park untill they dropped off (not out!).|
Our girls fall asleep in the car and we try to get them to bed without waking but in nevers works, I am so jealous of anybody who can move their children once asleep and not have them wake up.
Do you have a husband/partner who can help you out? My ds who is 3.5 goes to sleep REALLY fast for dh! He also stays down better, and the few times he's slept through the night, dh has usually been the one the put him down.
If you can start her out by nursing and then trade off to your partner/dh, maybe she will go down. Lots of times my baby thought it was playtime to have mommy in bed with him.
~Mama to my boys~ to a teen, a tween & a toddler and surro-mama to twins and their sister
Livin' in the sticks with my chicks and lovin' it!
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Oklahoma Mama, how do you sling your older baby? I am starting to experiment with sitting up positions, because my ds is getting too long to be in cradle position. When I use cradle position now, he usually ends up curled up like a "U". Any suggestions? What kind of sling do you use? (I have a didymos and a kissaluvs sling that is like a over the shoulder baby holder with no rails.)
He is such a cuddle-bug...and for the last few months he's been particular about where he nurses: mostly he just wants me to lay down with him to nurse. Even during the day he will want to nurse laying down....if he's tired, he'll fall asleep and nap, if not he'll nurse and then want to play with me. But the bed is his favorite spot. So since I mostly nurse in the bed, naturally I voted the first option, nurse and cuddle.
When he goes through teething spells that is an exception, the nursing aggravates his gummies and it takes a lot of singing, silly noises, walking, rocking, etc, to help him fall asleep.
Usually there is a feeding between 9-10pm, and this is the one where he is down for the night. Then, I get to go on the computer, do some dishes, etc, etc. He will usually sleep until 12:30 or 1:30am. Generally there are 3-4 hours stretches for night feedings, but they are very short, and co-sleeping has allowed me to get very decent sleep since day 1.
At 9 months when he started to crawl, he wouldn't stay still for nursing, so I started to use a sling.
I am very consistent with his bedtime and bedtime routine (he goes to sleep at 7). I nurse him to sleep walking while he is in the sling in wraparound position (it's like the cradle position, only he is facing me and his body is wrapped around mine). He is 26 lbs so I get tired very soon, then I sit down and rock. When he is asleep or almost, I lay down with him (while he is still nursing in the sling). At this point I relax and wait until he is sound asleep (a few minutes). Then I can take off the sling, pull it out from under him. If he wakes up during this action, I just nurse him a little more.
Despite nursing him to sleep all his life, he never got into habit to wake up just for comfort nursing. However I have had lots of trouble figuring out the right combination of temperature/humidity/clothes/blankets. This is the most frequent cause of his wakings.
I also realized that when he was switching to one nap (quite recently), it was much-much harder to put him down in the evening if I was letting him to have a second nap (it actually took more extra time than the length of the nap). So I have been doing anything to avoid a second nap. And it seems to work.
However I am never able to leave while he is awake. He cries in panic whenever I go out the door even if he is in his Dad's arms. This only happens at night.
I wonder how long did you need to actively help your baby to fall asleep? Do they start falling asleep on their own by themselves any time or you have to train them somehow?
I am absolutely loving co-sleeping, which is a good thing because my ds really seems to need to nurse to sleep (or he can be worn to sleep but as soon as he's put down he will wake up and want to nurse). I feel better seeing that lots of other people have similar experienes - most of the people I know don't seem to have to nurse to sleep and I know some people (my mom, even dh though he is supportive) who think I've created this dependency by the way I nurse ds to sleep. Anyways, I have a question for people out there who nurse their babies to sleep - do you ever go out and leave baby with dh/sitter/relative? Most of the time when I go out I bring ds with me, but occasionally I do go out for the evening (for a wedding etc) and leave ds with my mom. He's okay for awhile but mum/dh tells me that once he gets tired he starts crying and escalates to screaming and eventually passes out, but then will sometimes even wake again half an hour to two hours later and then cry again. Is this going to totally traumatize him? I'm happy to stay with him most nights but as I said occasionally something comes up that I need or really want to do so then I'll leave him (didn't leave him alone for more than two hours for the first six months, since then have left him alone for 3-6 hours probably three times - he's now nine months). Also, I feel that I'll want to go out a bit more as he gets older. However, I don't want to stop nursing him to sleep just so that he can cope better when I'm out. Any suggestions or ideas out there? DH also feels really helpless if he's left alone with ds all night and he can't help him fall asleep. It's a source of a bit of tension for us.
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