Is this the "right" decision? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-20-2003, 03:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well ds is eight months old today and sleep just keeps getting worse. He has slept in our bed since the day he was born, however I feel now that we or our pets are constantly disturbing him! So right now we are experimenting with him in our extra bedroom. We decided to do this because this past weekend we went to visit dh's parents and while we were there we had to change our sleep arrangements and well ds slept much better. It made me start thinking was co sleeping doing more harm than good? I am sooo conflicted about this! I know my signature says, "trust your instincts and follow your heart!" However in this instance my insincts say one thing and my heart says another.
My MIL has a full size, high bed in the guest room and I did not feel safe about this for cosleeping. So she had an extra twin mattress that we put on the floor in our room and I would nurse him down there and then get up when he was asleep. He actually did not want to nurse constantly. Also, no pets going in and out the room either also helped. Anyway I'm sorry I know this is long, my question is how do I set up the best, safest sleep environment for him in another room? Dh says put him in a crib, I just can't get excited about getting up all night and nursing and rocking and putting him down. Should I put a mattress on the floor for him? Is this safe? Or will this be a nightmare when he starts walking in a few months? Thanks for your suggestions and sorry this is sooo long!

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Old 06-20-2003, 06:54 AM
 
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Maybe you can do both? My son is 8.5 months and kept falling off my bed. We have bedrails but he just climbs over them and falls even further. He used to take naps in my bed and everything but it is just not safe anymore. (we have a tall sleigh bed). So for naps I started putting him in the crib once he has fallen asleep. It looks like a little baby jail but he is sleeping and doesnt know the difference. He doesnt wake up crying in there either after a nap. Also for night I stay awake pretty late so after he falls asleep I have been laying him in the crib so that he cant fall out of the bed since I am not in there with him. Then when I go to bed sometimes I bring him with me and sometimes I let him sleep there until he wakes up (an hour or two later usually). Then I bring him to bed and he stays in there with me and dh until morning. We also have a dog in and out in and out and the dog drives me bananas! I feel your pain on the animal issue!

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Old 06-20-2003, 10:59 AM
 
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puddinnpeanut, my dd is only 5 months so not sure if this applies but I've been having the opposite problem. dd sleeps in the snugglenest in our bed so she's not right beside my boob. She has a feed about 10pm then sleeps to about 3 or 4am, then feeds again. I get so engorged though, I wanted dd to feed more at night. So I tried sleeping beside her with a bedrail. Well she woke every hour or so and just grazed all night, she didn't eat anymore - just spread it out over the entire night and I was even more engorged and got a plugged duct from her not emptying the breast.

So dd at least adjusts her feeding to the opportunities. So you might not have to get up all night feeding him. Just an idea.
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Old 06-20-2003, 04:22 PM
 
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I have been in a very similar situation. Ds is 9 months and just was not sleeping well with us anymore. He will not sleep in the crib either - transfers are a nightmare so he needs to sleep where he fell asleep. For the last week or so, I have been putting him to sleep in his nursery on a mat on the floor. I nurse him to sleep on the mat then *try* to go to my bed. I leave my door open wide and hear him easily to go for night nursings. He still nurses very frequently but is *slightly* stretching out times between feeds. We have babyproofed the room well so if there is a slight delay in getting to him, he is safe. He is walking already and will sometimes roam in the morning after waking - he gives one whimper and then is up waiting at the door for me. I actually feel better with him on the floor than in our bed since he was so active he could fall easily to floor. I hope this helps in your decision!
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Old 06-20-2003, 06:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone! Yesterday ds took a 2 hour and 20 minute nap by himself! This has not happened since he was a newborn! I felt like a new woman! Last night he went 4 1/2 hours which was great! I love so many things about cosleeping, but I would like the opportunity to actually go out with my husband again at least every now and then! We have not been out since Valentine's day! I am hoping to go to dinner for our anniversary next month! I will keep praying about this and keep you posted! Thanks again!

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Old 06-20-2003, 11:24 PM
 
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hello -
maybe i'm missing something but is there a reason you can't put your mattress on the floor? my little guy is almost 10 mos. old and after he almost fell off the bed, we ditched the frame and put the mattress on the floor. we had never set up the crib but we took the mattress and put it on the floor next to our bed to give us more room. now we have room, i can snuggle next to my hubs and i don't have to get up to nurse my ds!
Just a thought!
mona
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Old 06-22-2003, 06:17 AM
 
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I know how you feel -- I was starting to feel that having Max in our bed was not working anymore. He has been in bed with us since the day he was born and it was wonderful for a while but started getting difficult (a lot of nightwaking, fussing in his sleep, etc.) lately.

My husband went out of town this week (for a few months for work) and I didnt want to put Max through another change on top of that but he has actually been doing much better in bed with just me. Go figure!

Do what is best for you and your little one though I know it is hard to give up that conection you feel by having him inbed with you.
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