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I wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from. My DH works very long hours at a physically demanding job. I am a SAHM. With both of our youngest, he has NEVER helped out at night (I was a single mama with my oldest). When our 3 yo dd was young, she had horrific colic (took me forever to figure out it was the dairy in my diet) and was up every night from around 8:00 to midnight ish screaming. I slept in the living room with her so that he could get his sleep. With our now 16 mo ds, I learned to kick DH out onto the couch! I too have been so exhausted that I've slept through a cry from my baby. It does make you feel horrible, but I know it only happened once or twice when I was close to the breaking point. My only survival tip is to take try to take naps when kids nap. Luckily for me, I've gotten my 3 yo dd and 16 mo ds to take their nap around the same time. If you have older children (like my 11 yo), I would suggest a 30-45 minute quiet time of reading or working on a workbook or a project. Even 20 minutes can be refreshing.
The one thing that really helped my DH understand how tiring it is to be up every 20 minutes all night long was when I was in the hospital for 6 days when my ds was around 7 months. Not something I would recommend, but it really changed his attitude. He realized all that I did around the house and with the kids, and how exhausting it is not to have a good night's sleep. He actually had to have my mom come in to help because he could not handle everything that needed to be done. Now he encourages me to take naps, and we switch off with sleeping in on the weekends. Good luck with everything and lots of .
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