"If you share a bed with DC, DFS will take your baby!" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 08-04-2007, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
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Two girls I work with, both mothers, actually believe this!
They were both in their teens when they had their first child and said they took a parenting class where the teachers actually told them this! Apparently, if a mom slept in the same bed as their son or a dad in the same bed as his daughter, that was grounds for DFS to remove the child!

What kind of crap is that! One girl said it was a stupid thing and she didn't belive it but she never let her kids in her bed becuase she "didn't want to break that habit." The girl who truly believed that DFS could take your baby also told me, she just got her 5 year old and 3 year old out of her bed, so apparently she didn't care anyway.

I told them I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I've never heard. I thought perhaps the reason they told young, teenage, soon to be mothers this would be to possibly prevent infant death caused by unsafe cosleeping? That is the onlllly thing I could think of. Maybe "they" thought it's just easier to tell them not to do it than to teach them safe cosleeping.

Girl #2 (just got her kids out of her bed) said, "Well, they told me the only reason your kid can be in your bed is if you are breastfeeding." I said, "Whew, I guess we're safe then!"

Anyway, to get to the point- where can I find info that you in fact CAN sleep in the same bed as your baby and not get them taken by DFS? Girl #2 is pregnant again so I'd like to print it out and let her know that she is allowed to have her baby in the bed with her!
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#2 of 7 Old 08-04-2007, 09:15 PM
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Wow, talk about fear-mongering!

~Marie: Mom to DS(17), DS(16), DD(14), DD(10), DD(8) & someone new on the way.
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#3 of 7 Old 08-04-2007, 09:19 PM
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WTF? Some people are nuts. : My MIL suggested they could take my kids for not vaccinating. Such a brilliant woman is she.
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#4 of 7 Old 08-04-2007, 11:19 PM
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Wow, that is so ridiculous. I can't imagine where you'll find information saying the government can't take your children away for co-sleeping. There are a myriad of things you can do and NOT have your children taken away, like feeding them peanut butter sandwiches, taking them to the park, and letting them watch sesame street. You could probably call your state's DFS, though, and ask them.
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#5 of 7 Old 08-05-2007, 12:25 AM
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Originally Posted by jadzia's_mommy View Post
You could probably call your state's DFS, though, and ask them.
That is so sad : But I think jadzia's_mommy had a great idea. You can always call and check, then you can tell your friend what they said. My mom told me as a kid that if I kept my house as messy as my room (as a child) is when I grow up--they'll take me kids away. It's made me so nervous even though I'm constantly cleaning and I know it just isn't true--it's just such a mean thing to tell someone just to get them to do what you want : I hope your friend is able to shake those fears and do what's best for her family!
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#6 of 7 Old 08-05-2007, 02:02 AM
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: Does crap like this originate with people who make goofy connections between beds and sex? Or are they just trying to scare people out of co-sleeping because they think it is unsafe?

Me (37) ~ DH (39) ~ DS (3) ~ TTC #2 since 4/10
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#7 of 7 Old 08-06-2007, 07:03 PM
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As a child protective services worker in PA for the past 7 years I thought I'd share some of the things I know to be true:

To my knowledge DFS has never removed a child for co-sleeping but if a child is removed for another reason, they will not allow the child to return until the family has an appropriate bed for the child (usually I get away with giving the family a pack-n-play for infants)

Having attended several Attorney General's medical/legal advisory board meetings, I know that several district attorneys in the state are just waiting for a co-sleeping death so they can throw the book at them and set a precedent that co-sleeping is dangerous and criminal.

If a child is not vaccinated by school age and there isn't a legitimate religious exception in place, DFS can remove your child if you continually refuse to vaccinate and this delays the child's entrance into the school system. I'm sure some people get around this by homeschooling.

And we absolutely will remove children from a home that is considered "endangering" due to clutter/dirt until the family cleans the home and it's been inspected and approved by DFS.

In PA when a child is removed from a home it starts a court process that most likely will result in your child being in foster care for up to 30 days because they follow the law in scheduling hearings and don't care if you correct the problem in three days.

I don't want to forget to mention I submitted my resignation last week because as a parent I can no longer support some of their antiquated and unreasonable requirements on parents and yeah, we co-sleep.
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