Help! How to transition out of co-sleeping? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-04-2007, 04:32 PM - Thread Starter
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I've been reading other posts with similiar problems that we are having. We co-sleep w/our dd 3 and ds 1. The problem is, oh so many things. First and foremost, none of us our sleeping well anymore. DS is still night nursing (and day of course, too), and not ready to night wean because he's getting ready to walk. Putting the kids to bed use to be shared between me and dh, but since ds started staying up as late as dd, I put them both down because of the nursing thing.
DD rubs, picks, grabs, practically molests me while falling asleep! This has always been the case, she's a fidgeter (like me I might add), and jds is following in her footsteps. I ablolutely can't take it!!! She picks at moles on my back, tries to put her feet down my underwear, reaches around my stomach and picks at my moles, twists and turns, and this went on for two hours last night. DS is nursing the entire time, and it's keeping him awake!
DD is very needy of me, but I'm starting to resent nap time and nighttime sooooo much! I don't want to move her out of the bed and keep ds in, not fair.
We're ready to start transitioning them out once I night wean ds, but I have no idea how. ANy ideas? ANy advice? I know that once ds no longer night nurses, dad can take over bedding them down. But right now, I stay up too late because I dread going to bed because the kids are practically on top of me! I need to know that I get some break at the end of the day!
We co-sleep to give our kids security and sagfety, but I'm afraid that dd's memories are just going to be of me yelling, "Stop picking, stop touching me, settle down and go to sleep!"
We figure they can sleep together. I'm happy to keep an open door policy and expect them to end up in bed with us for years, I suppose, but I want to start the transition so I can maybe get a few hours of sleep.
Does anyone have any advice for how to start gently moving them, before I throw them out!!!!!!!!:

Any advice from you mamas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Losing my mind,

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#2 of 4 Old 10-04-2007, 07:14 PM
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Omg! What an amazing mama you are!

I think 3yo is an age where you can talk about this with her. You can lovingly talk with her about the importance of sleep and that the constant touching is hard on you. Maybe she can just have a hand on your back or something. Or maybe a doll she can fiddle with?

Could you maybe revert to having your dh put her down to sleep and you just put down the baby?

Sounds like you need a break and this is really affecting your well-being.
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#3 of 4 Old 10-04-2007, 07:25 PM
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Ugh that is hard situation and can really wipe you out My daughter has sensory issues and she literally will paw at me all night long and it drove me nuts. What we did was put a sidecarred crib on the side of the bed when ds was born and that was her spot. We made a big deal about how it was her special place, let her pick out favorite stuffed animals & blankies for it. She would usually fall asleep in the big bed and I'd scoot her over once ds fell asleep.

Once she was staying in there about 75% of the time (which I hate to say was a few months), we took the crib off the side of the bed. We lowered it like a toddler bed and added a safety rail. It was still in the same position, just lowered and like 6 inches from our bed. DD was still welcome to join us if she wanted. This only lasted a week because I felt like she needed more distance if it was going to be successful.

So we moved the bed against the wall, next to our bed. So she faces out towards the room, but the headboard of her crib/toddler bed is up against our bed. She refused to go to sleep in it on her own so we still put her to sleep either in the living room or in our bed and just put her in her bed. She stays in there 90% of the time now. Our next step is for her to feel comfortable with going to sleep on her own.

We had to this extremely gradually as she has Asperger's and doesn't do well with change. I think the general idea would work well for most kids. I honestly don't care if her bed is in our room or needs to come to our bed on rare occasion. I just need her in her own bed the majority of the time for my sanity. Now if I could get my 17 month old to quit nursing ALL night long, I'd be less worried about adding another baby this spring. I guess I get to figure this all out again soon.


mama to a sweet girl , & 4 silly boys

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#4 of 4 Old 10-04-2007, 09:47 PM
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I don't see how it's unfair to move the older child out of the bed. Why would that not be fair? When I was in your shoes that was exactly what I did. Now bedtime is special time with daddy for my older daughter and we all sleep better.

Laura, CBE and mom to Maddiewaterbirth.jpg ( 06/03/04) & Graceuc.jpg (  09/10/06)
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