Is CIO mainly an American thing?? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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....reading through...

not sure about a TV ad campaing against it here...

But we have the NSPCC...
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/

and they have adds on tele to get you to donate to them... A 'help stop child abuse' charity ....

Their ads always leave me in tears I must say ...

One shows a little boy standing in a cot...all alone in a room...with a very sad face on...but he is quiet... The narrator then goes on to say ... '*childs name - cant remember it* doesnt cry anymore, becaues he knows no one will come to him' (or something like that)....

and the first thing many 'non mainstream' (lol) parents think of here is how many people here to controlled crying!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#32 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 06:03 PM
 
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A CC/CIO equivalent "method" exists in Sweden as well. There's a doctor who sells it as his own method. It's generally known in Sweden as the "5 minute method" - not because it works in 5 minutes but because you leave the baby for 5 minutes, and then for successively longer periods.

And it's one of those methods that's "guaranteed" by the author to work for all babies and if it doesn't work for you, then you clearly did it wrong and weren't following all the instructions properly. It's all your fault, basically, not the method's.
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#33 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 06:06 PM
 
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of course it works!... if a baby is crying, it has a need...and if that need isnt met...the baby will give up!... If you have a strong willed child, they will need to cry for longer - some give in instantly! ...

people dont think of it like this though do they?....
Its all about how all babies are 'manipulative'....

*sigh*....

ive been on other mainstream forums and people actually ask 'how do you do cc - I want some tips/help' etc.... One person even came on a week later and was asking 'where her happy baby went'.... she couldnt see the connection!!!

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#34 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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I'm from India and back home I'd never heard of anyone using CIO. I do know Indian families in the US that have CIO ed.

: mom to my little monkey 01/2006 my HBAC baby girl born 09/2009 
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#35 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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It's common in France, at least from what I know from my in-laws who live there. Not sure if it's more of the full-on CIO, or the CC, but it's definitely there.
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#36 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 10:49 PM
 
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I think CIO is prevalent here for lots of reasons, so to the extent that those reasons apply to other cultures I can see this approach being used. A big one is that we don't have a fluid community of women, in all different stages of childbearing and rearing, around our whole lives. So, we look to "experts," who get paid to have answers that involve specific actions taken to correct the apparent "problem." CIO is something that they can tell you how to do (I think CC and CIO are the same, although some people do just let their kids cry unattended).

Also, Americans are so focused on getting their kids to 21 in 5 minutes, then wonder why they grow up too fast and are detached and inconsiderate.

Furthermore, I think Americans get into this idea that we are "entitled" to the luxuries of freedom from children, in a very selfish way, and then children show up and don't fit this program so the question becomes how to force them to fit as fast as possible so we can get back to pursuing our own interests.
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#37 of 57 Old 10-15-2007, 10:52 PM
 
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I agree with everything the PP posted. I also think that cosleeping (or not) has a big impact. I think it's very very hard to support normal nighttime infant needs if you sleep separately. And when shared sleep is so taboo in the US (and other countries) then I feel like CIO is a natural result of that.

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#38 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 12:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by dziwozony View Post
but no eye contact or prolonged cuddling! the 5 min is lengthened to 10 & so on until the baby "gets it" (i.e. gives up). they seem to think it's better them all out CIO because of the checking in, but it's pretty well the same!

Ughhhh....
No eye contact or cuddling.....what are these people thinking....as if a baby understands....this CIO concept really angers me...ughhhh....

Lactivist, Intactivist, CD'ing, BW'ing, ANTI-vaxing CIO & spanking, bed-sharing, liberally minded believer in Christ : Mama to David [3.5y] & Aaron [2y]
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#39 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 01:55 AM
 
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Wow. No eye contact.
This wouldn't fly if the helpless one was an adult. What BS. I'm sorry, but yuck.
I agree
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#40 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 01:59 AM
 
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In England, I know it happens because a friend (British) said that they recently had a TV ad campiegn against it (therefore, people must be doing it, but the cultural shift against it is happening there).
I'm so interested in this. I wish that I could see the ad..also wish I'd see ads like that here in the US.
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#41 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 02:27 AM
 
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From my travels and experience, it seems that CIO and CC are mostly prevelent in first world nations. A child having his own room and bed was absolutely ridiculous to my husband...he is from West Africa. For him it was borderline neglect. He thinks our son should co sleep until he chooses to move to his own bed, in our room, or wherever. I have never seen a baby left to cry in Africa.
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#42 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 06:07 AM
 
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I live in Japan where people co-sleep, I have not heard of CC or CIO, except for mothers who are not Japanese.
Years ago when someone asked me when do babies move into their own rooms I answered 6 months (dunno where I came up with that figure...) and was met with a horrified and shocked response. co-sleeping until elm. school is the norm here.
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#43 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 07:16 AM
 
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I'm also in Japan. I love that they co-sleep here for extended periods of time. I have a friend with teenagers that still sleep in the same room as their parents and I think this is actually pretty common. I haven't heard of CIO when sleeping however I have seen cases of letting children/babies cry in strollers or grocery carts and the parents not making attempts to pick them up. It breaks my heart to see this. Most parents sling though so these cases are pretty rare.

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

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#44 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 04:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamefati28 View Post
From my travels and experience, it seems that CIO and CC are mostly prevelent in first world nations. A child having his own room and bed was absolutely ridiculous to my husband...he is from West Africa. For him it was borderline neglect. He thinks our son should co sleep until he chooses to move to his own bed, in our room, or wherever. I have never seen a baby left to cry in Africa.
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Originally Posted by KathinJapan View Post
I live in Japan where people co-sleep, I have not heard of CC or CIO, except for mothers who are not Japanese.
Years ago when someone asked me when do babies move into their own rooms I answered 6 months (dunno where I came up with that figure...) and was met with a horrified and shocked response. co-sleeping until elm. school is the norm here.
Kathryn
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Originally Posted by treemom2 View Post
I'm also in Japan. I love that they co-sleep here for extended periods of time. I have a friend with teenagers that still sleep in the same room as their parents and I think this is actually pretty common. I haven't heard of CIO when sleeping however I have seen cases of letting children/babies cry in strollers or grocery carts and the parents not making attempts to pick them up. It breaks my heart to see this. Most parents sling though so these cases are pretty rare.

I think these are awesome examples and I hope that the Western World will begin learning from some of this!

I love that it's almost unheard of where you ladies are that a child is put in their own room by themselves so young!!

It makes me sad when people frown or act like we are doing a dis service to our son because we co-sleep. Then I feel even more sad when I think of their children who were in their rooms from the time they were newborn, with no care giver close by Who in there right mind would want to be stuck away and not be heard or loved when they called for it....

Lactivist, Intactivist, CD'ing, BW'ing, ANTI-vaxing CIO & spanking, bed-sharing, liberally minded believer in Christ : Mama to David [3.5y] & Aaron [2y]
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#45 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by cuddleluvinma View Post
I'm so interested in this. I wish that I could see the ad..also wish I'd see ads like that here in the US.

Me too!!! We need a that here! Sadly!

Lactivist, Intactivist, CD'ing, BW'ing, ANTI-vaxing CIO & spanking, bed-sharing, liberally minded believer in Christ : Mama to David [3.5y] & Aaron [2y]
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#46 of 57 Old 10-16-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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ugh no.....all of my polish relatiaves told me to CIO...granted they are a little americanized but they are still off the boat. my grandma also tried to give my 17 month old pop last night :

DS 5-11-06
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#47 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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The author is Meredith Small. I agree, it's a great book!
yes yes, that's the one! thank you ~it's one of those books i think should be on the required reading list for anyone thinking they might have a child or have one in their lives in some way. I even sent this one to a doctor, anonymously...lol.
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#48 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 03:07 AM
 
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This is an excellent book. I would recommend it for any new parent. Especially those who might want to go the CIO way. I think it's always important to look at other cultures and this book is a great example of positive practices in other cultures. I think the author isn't (or wasn't) a mother at the time of writing the book and wrote it from an anthropological perspective.

http://www.amazon.com/Our-Babies-Our.../dp/0385483627
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#49 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 03:55 AM
 
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I'm also in Japan. I love that they co-sleep here for extended periods of time. I have a friend with teenagers that still sleep in the same room as their parents and I think this is actually pretty common. I haven't heard of CIO when sleeping however I have seen cases of letting children/babies cry in strollers or grocery carts and the parents not making attempts to pick them up. It breaks my heart to see this. Most parents sling though so these cases are pretty rare.
i wonder if the extended co-sleeping is a result of space issues more than anything else. i am a 200% for co-sleeping with babies and children, but feel teens need to sleep by themselves.

the crying in grocery carts comment set me thinking about a paradox observed in (mainly) western countries- CIO is routinely followed as a matter of course, but outside of the house people strictly believe in the adage "children should be seen and not heard"!
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#50 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 04:36 AM
 
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Things are definitely changing in the UK - I've seen the add and it really gets you thinking, when I had my dd there 5 years ago they really encouraged me to co-sleep - it was great, completely different in france in the neo natal unit I was not allowed to co-sleep, carry etc - I did it anyway, but I was told so many times that he would pick up bad habits, it was illegal, I would suffocate my baby blah blah blah - we still co-sleep + breastfeed!!!

ewe + dh = our little lambs + we and have many just : and : life .
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#51 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 04:46 AM
 
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Sort of related... I saw a poster the other day about preventing SIDS.
It was ABC. (this is Japan where the alphabet is not usually used...)
A for sleep aomuki (on you back/face up)
B for bonyu (Breastmilk, complete with picture of baby latching on!!)
C for clean environment, no smoking around baby.

sorry for the OT posting, but I was reminded of this thread.
Kathryn
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#52 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 06:35 AM
 
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CC is used in Denmark as well. But not the extreme CIO-version. And even CC is considered controversial. It's not something people are proud to admit, that they do.
I used to get into fights over this on Danish mainstream boards all the time. I really hate the "as long as mom is happy, baby is happy" BS, that the CC advocates spout:. At least they are grasping at straws to justify it. That must mean that they know it's wrong...
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#53 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 08:24 AM
 
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My midwife told me that it was promoted vigorously by the German gov't early last century (along with other detachment strategies) in order to create a pliable nation of people who were willing to follow without question, and in desperate need of a sense of belonging. CIO seems to be very common here, everyone spouts the myths of it being good for the lungs, good so the child learns that it can't manipulate you etc etc. My neighbours are 65 and 70 and are absolutely appalled at the lack of "discipline" I have with my son, he's a normal toddler but they think kids should be seen and not heard, not ask questions or disobey or have any strong feelings of any sort. "I made him the way he is" which in my eyes is perfect, in her eyes is a spoiled brat.
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#54 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 06:04 PM
 
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I wish CIO weren't quite so prevalent in Italy because then it might be easier to convince my dh that it is natural and (IMO) better to have our baby boy sleep with us, even as he grows. You would think that a culture that is so family-based where it's common for children to live with their parents until they're married (even if that means plenty of 50 year olds at home with mom!) would be more sensitive to the needs of babies. But I haven't heard of any Italians so far that are co-sleeping. Sad, yes.
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#55 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 06:53 PM
 
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CIO is rather common in Norway too, unfortunately. We have a couple of "sleep experts" advocating it, and they get far too much press.

Quote:
Originally Posted by babygrace View Post
i wonder if the extended co-sleeping is a result of space issues more than anything else. i am a 200% for co-sleeping with babies and children, but feel teens need to sleep by themselves.
Teens usually want to sleep by themselves. But my sister co-slept with my mother for a long period when she was 12 - 13 years old. She was having a hard time at school and needed extra comfort.
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#56 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 06:57 PM
 
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It's definitley a Western thing... There are many cultures in the world who view our (by our I mean western society generally) child rearing practices as the worst form of child abuse. The Samoan view leaving a child/baby in a room all alone to sleep as child abuse. It's amazing how diverse cultures are.

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#57 of 57 Old 10-17-2007, 07:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by allfrog68 View Post
This is an excellent book. I would recommend it for any new parent. Especially those who might want to go the CIO way. I think it's always important to look at other cultures and this book is a great example of positive practices in other cultures. I think the author isn't (or wasn't) a mother at the time of writing the book and wrote it from an anthropological perspective.

http://www.amazon.com/Our-Babies-Our.../dp/0385483627

Thank you! I just ordered it! I have another book as well called "A World of Babies" and it's very similar I believe. It's written by an anthropologist. I'm constantly looking for books on child rearing practices in a variety of cultures, thanks.

Andi - roller derby, slave to the hoop, birth junkie, lover of love, single mama of 4
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