Sleep issues: What are we doing wrong...or could something be wrong with my baby? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-18-2007, 03:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
Lolo549's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD is almost 6 months old. When she was a newborn she was a terrific sleeper...slept 4-5 hours a night from the first week, in a bassinet next to the bed. This continued for about 3 months. She never really slept longer than 6 hours at night (she slept 7-8 hours 3 times in three months), but that was fine with us - we considered ourselves very lucky. However, over the past two months her sleep habits have really been regressing. It has gotten to the point where she is waking up about 30 minutes after we put her to sleep, and continues to do so all evening (or she just stays up) until we bring her into our bed around 11-12. We didn't cosleep when she was younger and sleeping longer stretches - we have started this because I have found the only way any of us get any sleep is to let her sleep with my boob in her mouth...needless to say, I'm not sleeping very well, but at least I am sleeping.

Truth be told, I rather like cosleeping...but I just need her to be able to sleep by herself in the evening before I am ready to come to bed. She's obviously exhausted and ready for bed around 7-8, but she's up after 30 minutes or so (but still tired, rubbing her eyes, etc) and can't sleep without me...she even falls asleep the second I pick her up out of the crib. I AM GOING CRAZY!! Do you think this might have a medical basis - some sort of pain, hunger, etc., or do you think she just wants to play? Does everyone who cosleeps have issues like this for the earlier part of the evening? Sorry for the extremely long post...
Lolo549 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-18-2007, 03:33 AM
 
Natsuki's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 551
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it is a phase that will pass with time. My DS used to be like that as an infant, he is now a year and a half and sleeping peacefully in the other room while I type here on the computer .

This may be a case where you adjust your expectations of what you can get done in the evenings, break it up into short increments (I would get one thing done, then know DS would wake up within 1/2 hour and i'd have to nurse him back down to sleep, then i'd get something else done). Or you could babywear him in the early evening so he sleeps but you can get things done. Or look at it as siesta time for you where you can relax and read in bed with him with a flashlight or small lamp.

I'll be perfectly honest and say that DS never slept longer than a 4 hour stretch until he was about a year old, but then again he never slept longer than 3 hours until he was over 6 months old . He always fell back asleep quickly with nursing though so it didn't disrupt my sleep too badly, and we always coslept.

But the older he got, the more his sleep matured and he went from waking up 20-30 minutes after being put down for the night, to sleeping an hour before waking, then an hour and a half, and then sleeping until his midnight feeding.

It will get better and not always be this way!
Natsuki is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 03:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
Lolo549's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for your words of support!
Lolo549 is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 03:57 AM
 
dawncayden's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 4,307
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is a really hard phase.
I think I'd wear ds in a sling at that age until I was ready to go to bed.
Even now, we will go a week where ds will wake every 30 minutes to be nursed back to sleep...when I'm in that phase I feel like it will last forever, but it truly only lasts a week, then he's done teething, or his growth spurt or his developmental phase, and then starts sleeping his 2 hour stretches which I'm used to :
Is there anything in the environment that could be waking her?
noise? hot or cold?
or if she has started solids... new foods? or foods too late in the day?

75% Crunchy 25% Smooth
Raising 2 peanuts. #3 due in June bellyhair.gif

dawncayden is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 04:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
Lolo549's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks...yeah, I'll try wearing her more, I think. I did wear her a bit this evening, but it wasn't a normal evening...we had a friend over for dinner, so she was a lot more stimulated and wasn't able to relax in the Ergo. I think on a normal evening she might be able to relax more and sleep in it - she often sleeps in it when we're on walks.

Don't think it has anything to do with solids...we're only just starting those, but I don't think she's really getting any of them because she hates them all!
Likewise, definitely not too hot...her room is a bit chilly but she's dressed warmly and has a cozy blanket, so that shouldn't be it.

Meanwhile, I put her to sleep in the carseat at 11:30...so she's been asleep for over an hour and a half...woohoo! Wonder what that's all about...I guess she just feels more cozy. Anyone have an Amby bed? Wonder if that might help her...
Lolo549 is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 04:18 AM
 
Natsuki's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 551
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't stress about the solids either . Just offer if she seems interested, but there is a range of normal for when babies are ready and willing to start eating them. My DS didn't start eating solids until he was 11 months (he had allergies so i think that's why he hated them for so long) and i didn't push the issue and am so glad I didn't stress about it b/c his iron count was great, he was still growing and gaining weight on only breastmilk, and when he was ready he started eating food .
Natsuki is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 08:29 AM
 
eleanorm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Posts: 89
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a perfect description of my ds at that age! I have to agree with what the pp said - that it is a phase. In my case; ds slept pretty well in his bassinet until 3 months (at night anyway) but from then woke more and more frequently until about 9 months - especially before I came to bed.

We also moved to co-sleeping from 6 months, just to survive, even though it was never part of our original plans. I will say that it took me quite a long time to get physically used to co-sleeping and not wake up aching in the morning. It really helped to make sure we had enough room in the bed so that I was rarely forced into a uncomfortable position. What also helped was to try and not to worry about it. What often tired me out the most was being concerned that things weren't going to plan. Once I relaxed and just accepted how things change it all became easier.

Be strong - this too shall pass.
eleanorm is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 12:29 PM
 
mamallama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: zone 6
Posts: 1,731
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My almost 6mo sleeps like that too. When it's really bad, I adjust my expectations and go to bed early.

Lately I've been swaddling him, and that seems to help. We had a crazy hot summer here, so he spent his newborn months mainly naked. Swaddling was a new idea to me, but it turns out he likes it.

I've also noticed that when he gets better sleep during the day, he also sleeps better at night.

The only thing is, on the evenings when he sleeps more soundly, a lot of times at 11 or 12 when I'm ready for bed, he wakes up happy and social and wants to chat awhile

This phase passed relatively quickly with my older children. I'm trying really hard to keep myself well enough rested and nourished and centered so that the wonky sleep pattern doesn't make me completely crazy. I know it will be different in a couple of months.

homeschool.gif mom to dd (11) read.gifand dd (9) crochetsmilie.gif and ds (3) bikenew.gif and  dog2.gif(x2)
mamallama is offline  
Old 11-18-2007, 04:54 PM
 
D_McG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,998
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS was the same way. It was better when we moved him full time to our bed - that way I could just lie down with him when he woke up (instead of the hassle of trying to put him back down in the crib). So that helped but it didn't stop until he was 11 mos and could be soothed without nursing. Now he usually sleeps from his bedtime to ours. It's great.

Just give it time!

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

D_McG is online now  
Old 11-19-2007, 01:36 PM
 
readytobedone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: not dissertating
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lolo549 View Post
DD is almost 6 months old. When she was a newborn she was a terrific sleeper...slept 4-5 hours a night from the first week, in a bassinet next to the bed. This continued for about 3 months. She never really slept longer than 6 hours at night (she slept 7-8 hours 3 times in three months), but that was fine with us - we considered ourselves very lucky. However, over the past two months her sleep habits have really been regressing. It has gotten to the point where she is waking up about 30 minutes after we put her to sleep, and continues to do so all evening (or she just stays up) until we bring her into our bed around 11-12. We didn't cosleep when she was younger and sleeping longer stretches - we have started this because I have found the only way any of us get any sleep is to let her sleep with my boob in her mouth...needless to say, I'm not sleeping very well, but at least I am sleeping.

Truth be told, I rather like cosleeping...but I just need her to be able to sleep by herself in the evening before I am ready to come to bed. She's obviously exhausted and ready for bed around 7-8, but she's up after 30 minutes or so (but still tired, rubbing her eyes, etc) and can't sleep without me...she even falls asleep the second I pick her up out of the crib. I AM GOING CRAZY!! Do you think this might have a medical basis - some sort of pain, hunger, etc., or do you think she just wants to play? Does everyone who cosleeps have issues like this for the earlier part of the evening? Sorry for the extremely long post...

this sounds a LOT like my DD, who is also 6 months and who used to be a good sleeper (slept 5-9 hour stretches pretty consistently from about 3 weeks old). now she too wakes up multiple times before we come to bed, and then once we come to bed, she wants to be with us in bed (used to sleep well in her bassinett).

i chalk it up a lot to developmental milestones (she always wakes straight up, raises onto her hands and knees, squirms on her belly, etc.). but i also think the wanting to come to our bed thing probably has to do with a bit of separation anxiety. i think at this age they are just getting to the point of really realizing that when you're not with them, you're somewhere else, and they'd rather you be with them

the only difference is we have reintroduced a pacifier so she uses that instead of me to suck all night long. i do still nurse her a couple of times overnight when i can tell she wants more than the paci. you might try that, though i'm guessing your LO doesn't take one or you'd already be doing it :

but FWIW, DD didn't take one either until about a week ago! so it's worth a shot. it is much easier sleeping when you can actually turn over, move, etc. because your nipples are free :

i actually find now that for having a baby who wakes 4-5 times a night (which i never dealt with before), i am sleeping pretty well!

dissertating wife of Boo, mama of one "mookie" lovin' 2 year old girl! intactlact:: CTA until 7/10 FF 1501dc
readytobedone is offline  
Old 11-19-2007, 11:42 PM
 
fioner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Cumberland, MD
Posts: 326
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm there, too. Well it's not that bad, at least not on a regular basis, but there have been nights where I've just given up and gone to bed because it just gets so frustrating running in to nurse him every 30 minutes (In the middle of typing this I just had to go nurse him back to sleep after just having put him down 30 minutes ago) We've also been waking up to nurse every half-hour during the night, which is hard for both of us, it seems. Glad to know I'm not alone, anyway.
fioner is offline  
Old 11-20-2007, 12:00 AM
 
laneysprout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: left of center
Posts: 1,254
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm there, too. Trying to get things done in smallchunk at night before I have to feed her again, and trying to get comfortablw when she's attached to me all night. But honestly, since DD is sleeping better that way, DH and I sleeping better that way, too. I'm chalking it up to growth spurts, developmental milestones, etc.

treehugger.gif
laneysprout is offline  
Old 11-20-2007, 12:42 AM
 
GatorNNP's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 643
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sounds kinda normal. I was in that place too, my baby was tired/ready for sleep at like 8 and I am not until 9pm or so. You can try slipping baby off the breast just before she is in a deep sleep so she will last a little longer, say an hour to hour and a half before needing you. You can also try nudging her sleep schedule up to yours so you both go to bed at the same time. She may need an extra nap during the day.

As you work through this, remember that every month or two your baby's schedule/sleep pattern will shift a bit, so if it is not great for you right now, it won't stay the same for too long. One thing my DH would do is watch TV with earphones by a cord after our son fell asleep on his chest. The baby got held, he got to watch TV (without waking him up) and I got to take a shower.
GatorNNP is offline  
Old 11-20-2007, 02:59 PM
 
mommy007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMG - I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. I could have written this post. I have a six month old. Who by the way isn't into solids. Ever since my baby started learning to sit and shortly after to crawl she wakes up frequently just like you all explained. She doesn't cry but wakes up and sits up and crawls or if in the crib stands (tried it last night). She used to sleep in the bed until I came to bed. Now I have to bring her in the family room after her first wake up. She wants to nurse also during the night, if I refuse she just starts crawling around and on me and what not. Needless to say I just nurse her. I hope this phase passes soon. Keep the tips coming. Thanks
mommy007 is offline  
Old 11-20-2007, 06:05 PM
 
alpenglow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,933
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 112 Post(s)
Your baby sounds perfectly normal and probably very well attached....simply has a need to be near you, and has also developed a "nursing to sleep" association. My 8 month old used to have a similar sleep pattern as a newborn, but around 4-5 months started waking every 2 hours to nurse, then it became every hour or less. We are now back to a 3-4 hour stretch, thanks to my partner singing her back to sleep in the bed for a few of the wakings(to try to break the sucking to sleep association...but also reinforce the association of falling asleep lying in a bed still and in the dark). I don't have as much success with that because my girl knows I have the "goods"! However I have found that by delaying the time before giving in and nursing - a little longer each night, I have gradually been able to prolong the amount of time she sleeps without needing assistance from me.

We have not had any success getting her back in the crib - that would involve crying I'm sure!

I highly recommend reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for some ideas and understanding of why your baby has those sleep habits.

I also read Richard Ferber's "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". As many readers will know, he is the CIO advocate. As this is a Mothering forum I am of course not recommending doing that; HOWEVER I did find that a couple chapters (based on sleep lab research) were very helpful in understanding the normal sleep patterns of babies, and why they do what they do. Especially helpful was the chapter on nighttime nursings and how that actually reinforces night wakings.

For ideas on gentle interventions, the Pantley book is great.
alpenglow is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off