Tips for getting a toddler to go to sleep with his daddy - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-23-2008, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our toddler does not have the ability to go to sleep with anyone other than myself and I am at my WITS END. I am almost done nursing him and that is how he wants to go down. It is just too uncomfortable for me.

Right now he is downstairs with his father who is holding him lovingly and pacing around the dark room. Harvest is SCREEAMING like he is being tortured. He does it for a LONG time. He is very strong willed.

I am not sure how other babes learn to go to sleep with their fathers. Do they just have to go through several nights of screaming until they get used to it? This is maddening.

Living the Joyful life as a mama of three beautiful children who are just right the way they are.

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#2 of 4 Old 01-23-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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Well, I think sometimes screaming may be a part of it, until dad finds the magic trick.

My guy is only 9 months, so not quite a toddler, but also very strong willed.

Not very long ago, circumstances I won't go into here, led us to having dad put baby boy down. The first night or two was screaming. His dad laid down with him, gave him a bottle of expressed milk, held him, you name it, but the boy was ticked.

After two nights, my husband just ended up laying there and letting F crawl all over him, giggling, playing whatever. Not forcing the issue or having F lay down. F eventually just fall asleep sitting up! His dad laid him down and then left. This in about 15 minutes, no tears. And it has been this way every time his dad put him down since.

I'm not saying this is the solution for you, only that there probably is one. Dad just has to find that sweet zone where babe is sleepy, but not feeling like he is being compelled to sleep. They might also need to have their own routine separate from yours. For us, we bought an image projector and the show on the ceiling is a special treat for F, and he knows it is special to dad putting him down, so that helps.

And to be honest, it probably helps that his dad stays home with him two days a week and does all the bedtime routine...

Good luck! I can see how you would want to get this all ironed out before the new little one gets here!
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#3 of 4 Old 01-23-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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My son was older (2.5 years) but a more transitional plan worked with him. He had been reliant on nursing until he was sound asleep. I started by nursing him for 5 minutes only (laying with him as was our custom) and then I would get up and his Dad would lay down and snuggle him until he was asleep. I gradually shortened the amount of time I would nurse him until his Dad would take over, until I did not nurse at all. It was a peaceful process but my son is also somewhat laid back. Hope you find something that works for you too!
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#4 of 4 Old 01-24-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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for jet to fall asleep with peter we have to mix it up completely. usually i nurse him first, then they go into our room and watch tv (usually family guy ) and talk or play quietly until he dozes off. about 2/3 of the time he wants to come out for milk at some point and then when he does nurse it is just for a minute and he falls right to sleep.

that's what we do on nights when both kids are winding eachother up too much for either of them to fall asleep.

Mama to Jet 6/05, Marvel 8/06 and Cash and Fox 2/09
Expecting Ada Marianne 11/14
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