Help! Transitioning from co-sleeping to crib. - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 15 Old 02-03-2008, 10:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
BusyBeeMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,683
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Please, please help. I cannot continue co-sleeping with 13 month old DS. It has become DANGEROUS, I'm not kidding. He's always been a terrible sleeper, and now that he's big, he can really do some damage. I currently have a black eye from him throwing himself around when he can't/won't go back to sleep. I've had fat lips too. I feel like I need to wear a goalie mask to sleep!

I also cannot keep nursing him all night to pacify him. I NEED some sleep. 3 yo DD gets up early, so there's no sleeping in even if DS did. My husband does NO nighttime parenting (and we're separating anyway). Naps for me are not an option as I'm a f/t student. So please don't suggest that I keep nursing him all night (I'm willing to do 1x/night or so).

Current typical night:

Around 8 pm: Nurse DS to sleep, I put him in crib

Approx 11pm: DS wakes for first time, I bring him to bed w/me (he wakes up crying/fussing in the crib), and he usually goes back to sleep *pretty easily* no nursing

Between 1 and 3:00 am: Let the waking/thrashing begin. He wakes, thrashes, yells, fusses, etc. I pat him, rock him, sing to him, pick him up, put him down, etc., etc. He'll basically only take cat naps from this point on.

3:30 am: I nurse him. This settles him while he's nursing, but after he's done, it's cat napping again. Anything wakes him (so transitioning him to the crib would be tough) and he continues to get angry while I try to get him back to sleep.

Between 4:30 & 5:30 am: I usually nurse him again. By about 6 am, I can usually get him back to sleep, and then he would actually sleep reasonably well for a couple of hours. BUT somewhere between 6:30 & 7, three year old DD wakes, comes into my room, and invariably wakes him up. So my exhausted day begins.

ANY ideas? Please, please? Since he was born he's had this pattern of sleeping really, really badly after about 2 am or so. I was nursing him basically all night until a few weeks ago, when I cut it down to 3:30 and then once more in the early morning. I'm so exhausted I'm seeing stars. Oh yes, I've tried Dr. Gordon's system - no dice.

Thanks!
BusyBeeMom is offline  
#2 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 12:19 AM
 
vandazzle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm transitioning my 14 mo daughter out of our bed. cosleeping with a toddler is somthing else, huh??
i never bought a crib, and have tried having her sleep in a packnplay, but she'd wake up as soon as she hit the mattress. my solution that's been working really well is that i put a futon on the floor so i lie down with her and read/nurse her to sleep, then slip away. she still wakes up a couple of times during the night, but i'm not stressing about it and i know it will eventually change (like everything else about babies).

i was surprised at how painless this transition has been.

good luck!
vandazzle is offline  
#3 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 12:48 AM
 
askew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Villa Incognito
Posts: 2,546
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I transitioned my DS from our bed when he was about 12 months. We never had a crib so he transitioned to a mattress on the floor in his own room. This way I can lie down and nurse him to sleep and then do the same when he wakes. Truthfully I usually just sleep in there with him if he wakes in the middle of the night. I can't help it, I just pass out. He will sometimes wake at 3 sometimes 5. Either way I am okay with it at this point. I like that he is in his own room and he loves his bed. He naps in there no problem as well.
askew is offline  
#4 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 02:31 AM
 
rubymoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 91
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi. I've been working on this too with my 10 month old. I was wondering if you could put your babe back in the crib after he falls asleep after the 11pm wake-up? Is his crib in a different room than you are sleeping in? I find that my dd sleeps better when I put her in the pack n play in a different room, otherwise we seem to wake each other up all night long. She might wake up and fuss a little, but she usually gets herself back to sleep without having a crying fit. Also, I wonder if your ds would maybe skip the 1 am wake-up if he wasn't in bed with you.

Hope that is helpful, and good luck!!
rubymoon is offline  
#5 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 10:27 AM
 
ChristyMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Could he be teething? My little guy goes through that when he's uncomfortable with teething or tummy upset. Just an initial thought.

We've decided to put a mattress on the floor next to the bed. He hates the crib mattress and ends up getting arms or legs stuck between the slats. And being able to lay down with him to settle him is helpful.

Good luck!
ChristyMarie is offline  
#6 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 10:32 AM
 
mija y mijo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is a horrible co-sleeper, since we moved him into a crib in his room he's been doing MUCH better! I was so sleep deprived for the first year my family was getting worried. I feel your pain.

When he wakes at night try just going into his room and patting his back or singing to him, without actually taking him out of his crib. If he's really upset I'd pick him up and nurse, walk, or rock him until he fell back asleep and then lay him back in his crib. I also learned that if I waited a minute before rushing into his room he would usually just roll over and fall back asleep.

The first few nights may seem long, but I found that when DS was in his own bed he slept for much longer stretches and the night waking became less and less frequent. He generally sleeps through the night now at 18 months.

Good luck!
mija y mijo is offline  
#7 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 11:21 AM
 
jo15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by homeschoolmama View Post
When he wakes at night try just going into his room and patting his back or singing to him, without actually taking him out of his crib. If he's really upset I'd pick him up and nurse, walk, or rock him until he fell back asleep and then lay him back in his crib. I also learned that if I waited a minute before rushing into his room he would usually just roll over and fall back asleep.

The first few nights may seem long, but I found that when DS was in his own bed he slept for much longer stretches and the night waking became less and less frequent. He generally sleeps through the night now at 18 months.
I have found this too. My daughter has been sleeping in her own room for a couple months now and since then, she went from waking every 2-3 hours to now usually sleeping from 7 till 4 and nursing once before getting up at 6. And on good nights, even I get 6 hours of straight sleep. Amazing.

Another thing that helped once winter hit was bundling her up in about 3 layers. She always throws off her blankets and it turns out, she was waking up because she was cold! I also have a warm humidifier going in there all night, which also really helps.
jo15 is offline  
#8 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 12:22 PM
 
ABrez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Oh Hiya
Posts: 626
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Would using your crib as a side car work for you? That's what we do and dd is so used to it that she will wake up, nurse, and roll back over to her crib on her own. She's also a VERY restless sleeper but there seems to be some sort of invisible boundary there that keeps her over on the crib part.
ABrez is offline  
#9 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 12:44 PM
 
1006baby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 133
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We transitioned DS out of the bed into a crib at around 12 months. We hit a little bump in the road about a month ago where he was waking up about three hours after he went to sleep and it was tough to get him back down again. What helped us was to spend about an hour before the bedtime routine begins engaging in very active playtime. We basically try to wear ds out. We have found that the sustained activity for the hour before bath, story and nursing usually tuckers him out enough that he sleeps at least a solid 9 or 10 hours.
1006baby is offline  
#10 of 15 Old 02-04-2008, 01:57 PM
 
tumblebeee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
my solution that's been working really well is that i put a futon on the floor so i lie down with her and read/nurse her to sleep, then slip away.
We do this. Nursing to sleep on a futon works REALLY well for us because I don't have to move him once he falls asleep.
tumblebeee is offline  
#11 of 15 Old 02-05-2008, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
BusyBeeMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,683
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubymoon View Post
Hi. I've been working on this too with my 10 month old. I was wondering if you could put your babe back in the crib after he falls asleep after the 11pm wake-up? Is his crib in a different room than you are sleeping in? I find that my dd sleeps better when I put her in the pack n play in a different room, otherwise we seem to wake each other up all night long. She might wake up and fuss a little, but she usually gets herself back to sleep without having a crying fit. Also, I wonder if your ds would maybe skip the 1 am wake-up if he wasn't in bed with you.
The crib is in my room. I've thought about moving it out for this reason (I probably am waking him up, at least part of the time), but the obvious choice would be to move it into my daughter's room. She's 3, and I am concerned about waking her up all night...but, I think she's a relatively heavy sleeper, so maybe it wouldn't be an issue. The rooms are very close, and I'm a light sleeper, so I'd hear him pretty quickly. I guess I've hesitated b/c moving the crib is such a big production, and if it doesn't work, I'll have to move it again...oh well! being exhausted is also a big production! Thank!
BusyBeeMom is offline  
#12 of 15 Old 02-05-2008, 11:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
BusyBeeMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,683
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jo15 View Post
Another thing that helped once winter hit was bundling her up in about 3 layers. She always throws off her blankets and it turns out, she was waking up because she was cold! I also have a warm humidifier going in there all night, which also really helps.
I'm going to try this. I tend to keep my room a bit on the cool side as I can't stand being hot at night...but of course DS won't keep a blanket on him.
BusyBeeMom is offline  
#13 of 15 Old 02-05-2008, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
BusyBeeMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,683
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ABrez View Post
Would using your crib as a side car work for you? That's what we do and dd is so used to it that she will wake up, nurse, and roll back over to her crib on her own. She's also a VERY restless sleeper but there seems to be some sort of invisible boundary there that keeps her over on the crib part.
Unfortunately, no. My room is kind of odd in that there's not much "wall space" so there's no place that the bed & crib could be next to each other without blocking a door. We did this with DD and co-slept until she was 2 at which point we had a pretty easy transition to her own room. But, she was also an exceptionally mellow baby.
BusyBeeMom is offline  
#14 of 15 Old 02-05-2008, 11:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
BusyBeeMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,683
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
To those who do the mattress on the floor...don't the babes roll off the mattress? I know they're close to the ground, so serious injury isn't a risk, but I would imagine DS rolling off and waking himself up multiple times...how do you address this?
BusyBeeMom is offline  
#15 of 15 Old 02-05-2008, 01:08 PM
 
shantimama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 10,976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)
When we had futons on the floor we used a bed rail on the non-wall side of the mattress to protect a little one from falling off the mattress. I found this to be the best solution for our family. "Bed" was on the floor in the room that would continue to be the child's even after s/he outgrew co-sleeping. I found it easier on me to move in and out of there with an older baby as needed than having a restless sleeper in "my" bed when I was exhausted. My children all took a long time to sleep for several hours at a stretch or all night long, but making the most of sleep when I could really helped. Even if I only had a couple of hours of sleeping without a little one nursing, it made a difference and I felt better moving into their bed than feeling thrashed on all night long in my own bed.

I certainly won't discount your need for sleep, but here is another thing to look at. When we are pregnant and postpartum we are pretty aware of our nutritional needs - I don't know about you, but that fell along the wayside as the months went by. When I made sure to have a protein rich snack before bed and first thing in the morning and significantly upped my fluid intake I had more stamina to deal with all of the impossible-feeling demands on meas my kids grew older and busier. When I get tired I just want carbs, carbs, and more cabs - especially because they are so easy to grab or prepare, but that is the worst thing for me to be eating.

Hang in there
shantimama is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off