Has anyone done Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 193 Old 08-23-2008, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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subbing, planning to start this soon, happy2beamommy, thanks so much for journalling your successed and concerns. I'm likley to get discouraged somewhere around day three and give up, but seeing you journal each day is really encouraging!

are you on other boards with the same SN, seems like i'm recognizing you from ds.com
I'm glad my experiences have helped you I am really passionate about this topic because it was a big turning point for us - in terms of sleep and in terms of loosening up a bit and setting some boundaries. I was sooooooo AP for the first year (which I think was wonderful and as it should be), but once DS was old enough to really understand things better (around 14 months), I found that giving him everything he wanted ALL the time was not serving anyone (even DS), so I am happy to post about it and help others who are feeling the same way.

And no, I don't frequent any other boards - I barely have the time for MDC!

Good luck with the night weaning - you can do it!
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#182 of 193 Old 09-10-2008, 02:45 PM
 
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Thought I'd post a quick update...
We started the "nurse is night-night" between 11pm-6am...for one night. It didn't go well. And then we went away for the weekend, so we didn't do it then. We decided to keep up the "10 seconds on each side" plan for a little while longer, to get his belly used to not being full in order to fall back asleep. He did really well with it. When it was "last bite nurse", he would usually just pop off and roll over, or take his binky and fall asleep in snuggled up. In the early A.M. hours, he'd get a little more restless and need singing or his litany of "who is night-night". But it was fine.

So we did that for, um, a couple of weeks...oh well, modifying Dr. Gordon's plan is fine by me!

Anyway, 3 night ago, we went into the next phase - no nurse between 11-6. He cried. He was angry and sad and confused. But not scared, just like Dr. Gordon says. I didn't feel like I was doing something wrong, something bad for him. We try to explain to him why we're doing this, but he's only 19 months old, so he doesn't get it, obviously. This is something we NEED to do for us.

The first 2 wakings, he was actually fine. He cried for a few seconds, and then took his binky and fell asleep with snuggles.
Then, around 4am, he must have been more hungry because he just couldn't settle and was upset and *trying* to fall asleep. It was very brave of him. He fell asleep a few times for a few minutes at a time, but basically didn't sleep much until 5:45, at which point we nursed him. Then he slept fine until 7:30ish.

The next night, was more of the same. Except he *stole* a nurse (my partner woke up to him nursing!) around 1am. Unlike the night before, he did fall asleep before dawn, maybe it was only 1 hour of fussing and tossing/turning.

Last night, it was MUCH better. He didn't cry for more than a few seconds any waking. He woke up a handful of times (like usual), but fell back asleep with snuggles and singing. Then a little after 6, he woke up and nursed, but not even ravenously! and slept until 7:15am.

He's definitely sleeping better in the first part of the night (going from 7pm-10pm, when he used to wake up after 2 hours or so).

I'm hopeful for tonight!
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#183 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 03:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A blast from the past!

Okay, so DS is now 22 months old and just went through the craziest stomach flu ever. Seven days of vomiting. Poor guy. So needless to say, he was nursing every couple of hours at night since breastmilk was the only thing he could keep down. Now that he's better, I am beyond ready to start nightweaning part two - anyone BTDT? Was your LO more stubborn the second time or was it easy? I find that the older the are, the more "opinionated" they are about it. Any tips?

TIA
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#184 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 05:15 AM
 
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I saw this and felt a huge RELIEF!!! My LO is waking up about 5 times a night and it's just getting old. I'm tired-and most of all I often (like now) can't go back to sleep.

My son turns one on December 22. We will be visiting my parents that week-but will be doing this starting January 2.

I was getting desperate. Everyone has been telling me about CIO-I was tempted-but every time I read about it, I cringed.

Thank you thank you thank you!!

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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#185 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 09:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by happy2bamama View Post
A blast from the past!

Okay, so DS is now 22 months old and just went through the craziest stomach flu ever. Seven days of vomiting. Poor guy. So needless to say, he was nursing every couple of hours at night since breastmilk was the only thing he could keep down. Now that he's better, I am beyond ready to start nightweaning part two - anyone BTDT? Was your LO more stubborn the second time or was it easy? I find that the older the are, the more "opinionated" they are about it. Any tips?

TIA
I have no idea, but am very curious to find out what others have to say, too! We were nightweaned for a month, but he was still waking several times a night needing comforting, so I was still sleep-deprived. In that state, I accidentally gave him the boob one night before realizing what I was doing and now we're fully back to all-night-nurse-a-thons. Last night was particularly bad... I think I got maybe two hours of sleep all night, broken up? Ugh. I feel really sick right now. We tried going back to the nightweaning last week and it was a DISASTER! I'm weary of going on like this, but scared to lose even more sleep trying to wean again. What to do?

Kerry, wife to Chris and SAHM to Liam Michael Orion (06/29/07), Jonah Phoenix (10/07/09), and Naomi Lyra (09/15/13)!!
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#186 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 03:18 PM
 
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I recently subscribed to this thread after spending hours and hours reading about night-weaning. I wasn't ready to jump on board with a whole plan. I knew my follow-through wouldn't be 100%. I reevaulated our needs and realized that I really needed to "go-to-sleep-wean." Having DD only be able to sleep with me nursing her down was wearing me down and barely even working any more. I also really need her to stop waking 2-3 hours after going to bed and only being able to go back to sleep with nursing.


So, we switched up our routine and DD is adapting to the new bed time w/o nursing better than I expected (whines a little and insists on holding my belly button to sleep) but other than that I can see that she is learning how to go to lseep without nursing. A surprising result is that each time she has gone to sleep w/o nursing she has also not woken up at 10 or 11 for another nursing! Woohoo! This is big for us because I work at night and was getting really frustrated at feeling like I work for hours and getting so little done.

Anyway, a little off topic but I wanted to share this experience to say that a little change may go farther than you expect. I plan on working on the middle of the feedings down the road (and am hoping maybe, just maybe, that will start to happen on its own).
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#187 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 03:21 PM
 
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Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#188 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, last night was better - DS went to sleep early around 7pm and didn't wake to nurse until 2:30am-ish, so that's a 7.5 hour stretch - almost back to usual : Hopefully it will stick. He was nightweaned for so long before this terrible flu (8 months or so), so I am glad that he is reverting back without much problem. I also think that once he's eating a bit more for dinner, it will be easier because he won't be hungry.

Also, glad to see that other people are having success with the nightweaning.
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#189 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 03:39 PM
 
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I'm so glad to see this thread - I just spent way too much time reading it all. DD is almost 22 months, and I've been toying with nightweaning for months and months and months. I tried the Gordon plan for one night, but I couldn't take it. DD cried, in my arms, with singing, massages, walking, etc. for almost three hours. She did finally fall asleep without nursing, but I decided that she might need a more gradual approach. The past couple of nights we've been doing the Pantley pull-off thing, and she nurses for about 30 seconds if she wakes up at night. If she starts to cry, I put her back on. Last night, though, she only woke up a few times and was pretty willing to nurse for a few seconds and then just cuddle back to sleep. I'm thinking about trying no nursing at all tonight, but I don't know if I'll be able to stick to it if she gets too upset. Is it better to just continue on the path we're on (nursing a little bit and hoping that it will eventually taper off to nothing) or refuse nursing altogether? DD does not like change much at all and is very determined. But I'm worried that she won't actually stop nursing at night, albeit nursing only briefly.
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#190 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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#191 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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We just started nightweaning W night last week... I skipped straight to phase 2 of Gordon's plan, b/c we'd been living in phase 1 for awhile - so maybe technically we starting nightweaning months ago Anyway, she already knew how to fall asleep after relatively short nursings and without nipple in mouth if I insisted. I chose 10:30-5:30a as my 7-hr sleep window, b/c DH's alarm goes off at 5:30, and we usually get up at 6 - so I figured that would give me and DD 30m to snuggle in bed and nurse in the morning. She often wakes to nurse for the first time around 10:30p, too, so I figured I could just keep that nurse, and try to eliminate the rest.

W night was hard b/c she was mad about not nursing and so couldn't relax. But I found a position (reclining against a few pillows and bear hugging her against my chest) that she really liked and would help her conk out off and on for decent stretches. Th night was much better - she was a little sad, but would get herself to sleep relatively quickly, without much support from me. And then F night... : : : :

She slept through the entire night for the first time in her life!!! 6.30p-5:30a!!!

Of course, then Sat night we dressed her inappropriately, and she woke up multiple times too hot or too cold. : And she was mad about not nursing then... And last night she woke up a few times, but didn't get upset until about 4:30a, when she was really feeling ready to nurse. I think I need to remember to keep a sippy of water by the bed - I keep forgetting, partly b/c she's always rejected it as a stand-in for nursing in the past.

The other issue I'm dealing with is that she's 90% potty-learned, and she's realized that saying "potty" is a get-out-of-bed-free card. But she's really hoping that it'll be accompanied by nursing, so she gets upset...

Still, I feel so hopeful - I'm ready for more sleep, and the progression of W night to F night, STTN, makes me even more confident she's ready.

*** DH (wed 5/03), DD (6/07), and DS (8/11)
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#192 of 193 Old 11-17-2008, 07:53 PM
 
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Oh, I have to share one other thing about entering into this phase of nightweaning... I felt really ready and committed to it, but thought - yeah, I've felt that way before, and kind of lost steam at 3a And this time, DD was definitely old enough for us to talk about it, but I didn't know what I would say or if some of my trepidations would come through...

So I made her a short little picture book, with photos of the two of us, and wrote about how much I love to hold her, and how I will give her soft words and gentle touches whenever she needs them at night, but snuggles would be night-night from X to Y, etc., and how great we will feel when we wake up, and how much fun we will have... Reading that through with her many times before the first night, and each day after, has been so cathartic for me, and helped me feel very calm and resolved, as well as gave me language to repeat in the middle of the night! The first morning, that book was the first thing she went and grabbed; she wanted to read it together, which I thought was really interesting. She seemed to make the connection...

Of course, in days since, she has preferred to skip over the page about when snuggles would be night-night

*** DH (wed 5/03), DD (6/07), and DS (8/11)
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#193 of 193 Old 11-18-2008, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, I have to share one other thing about entering into this phase of nightweaning... I felt really ready and committed to it, but thought - yeah, I've felt that way before, and kind of lost steam at 3a And this time, DD was definitely old enough for us to talk about it, but I didn't know what I would say or if some of my trepidations would come through...

So I made her a short little picture book, with photos of the two of us, and wrote about how much I love to hold her, and how I will give her soft words and gentle touches whenever she needs them at night, but snuggles would be night-night from X to Y, etc., and how great we will feel when we wake up, and how much fun we will have... Reading that through with her many times before the first night, and each day after, has been so cathartic for me, and helped me feel very calm and resolved, as well as gave me language to repeat in the middle of the night! The first morning, that book was the first thing she went and grabbed; she wanted to read it together, which I thought was really interesting. She seemed to make the connection...

Of course, in days since, she has preferred to skip over the page about when snuggles would be night-night
Thanks for sharing! What a great idea. Amazing how they do get the connection to things even if it seems like it's not necessarily getting through at the time.
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