safe co-sleeping rules - do you break them? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 59 Old 04-09-2008, 07:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
We don't have any rules, so nothing to break.

We just go to bed as normal...we sleep no differently with kids than without.
:

We still have our memory foam on our pillow-top bed (CA King), use our flannel comforters (though I only cover DD to her waist if she’s cold), DH and I both use pillows and the cat’s on the corner of my side of the bed! I worried a lot about the “rules” but never changed anything, otherwise DH and I would have never slept! We started co-sleeping when DD was 2 weeks. I’m just careful about how she’s covered and she’s always on her side next to me or on her back- never on her tummy.

When I get up in the morning I’ll leave dd in bed asleep until she wakes. She hasn’t moved yet when I’m not in bed (she only rolls to get to me!) and if she’s close to the side, I’ll add pillows just in case. So far, so good!
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#32 of 59 Old 04-09-2008, 10:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
We don't have any rules, so nothing to break.

We just go to bed as normal...we sleep no differently with kids than without.
Amen. My husband and I sleep pretty much the same way, cats, blankets, pillows and all, now with my DS in the bed with us. DS is a chest sleeper, so I didn't worry about all the "rules" as much as I would have. We take precautions when he sleeps by himself but even then it isn't as drastic as the rule makers would like I'm sure!

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#33 of 59 Old 04-09-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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Add us to the list of rule breakers.

We sleep with a down comforter, and lots of pillows.

I would notice if something happened and DS wasn't ok though...cause my boob wouldn't be in his mouth.

Mommy to two super cute kids.
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#34 of 59 Old 04-10-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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I do. I use a blanket and 2 pillows pushed way back. 3mo. ds sleeps under a blanket, when he was a newborn i used a separate blanket from him now I just use a thin one....

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#35 of 59 Old 04-11-2008, 04:30 AM
 
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Yeah, with my newborn I break pretty much all the rules. She sleeps right against me, tummy-to-tummy. We use pillows and sometimes I put her between me and DH who has MOUNDS of heavy blanket. I just keep one arm over her so that if he moves or if I feel a blanket move in the night, I can push it off of her. I do put my blanket over her sometimes, but just up to her waist. I pull the rest up over me and off one shoulder so it's not covering her. I leave her in the bed alone while I do things around the house, but we live in a 20'x20x cabin so I can't really go far. If I have to go outside to put the laundry in the wash or take a shower or something, I put a pillow on either side of her so she can't roll off the bed. Bad, I know, but I can see her on the bed from the shower and the shower curtain is clear.

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#36 of 59 Old 04-13-2008, 03:50 AM
 
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aah so relieved to see this thread! we sleep with a duvet (although I don't put it over DS. cant imagine sleeping without one), I have about four pillows (i need them with night nursing) and DS sometimes sleeps on his front. I'm hyper aware of him so I dont think it is a problem. I do obey the rules re being sober tho - bc DP drinks a lot I never put DS inbetween us, only on my side, and if he's really out of it he goes to the spare room. we dont have a guard rail, just push the cot up against my side of the bed.

he is 6 months and can roll over so i kinda think u can relax a bit at this point, maybe....? don't know. I read No cry sleep solution recently and it said all these rules too...made me feel really guilty for not following t hem.
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#37 of 59 Old 04-13-2008, 04:57 AM
 
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We have always slept with a down comforter, sheets and quilt (we were in Iowa in December when he was born Brrrrrr.....), but I was sure he slept at a higher position in be than us so the blankets didn't cover his face. We always have used pillows as well. How many LO's- even newborns- would let themselves suffocate without a fuss???? I woke up whenever I felt like he was or soon would be awake-still do. He had bad reflux due to food allergies (which took a few weeks to figure out/clear out of my milk) so he was on a pillow from a week or two old so that he didn't drown in spit-up (I swear one time he spit up so much that if he hadn't been on a pillow right next to me he might have aspirated on it).

So we always did what felt right to us-which was to break all the rules.

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#38 of 59 Old 04-15-2008, 07:34 PM
 
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I do have 1-2 pillows in the bed...one for under my head and one between my knees. DS and I sleep under a sheet.

I guess the biggest violation is we nap on the couch. Our couch is pretty firm and I lay agains the back pillows/cushion crevice and he is on the outside. I have a solid cube-shaped table that I pull up next to the coch to block him in. We both are always on our side (tummy-tummy) or on our backs.

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#39 of 59 Old 04-15-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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I've broken them all, no sleeping on the couch, no blankets, no pillows, no, no....I even let my DD sleep on a pillow at one point(a really flat pillow). She also would flip over on her belly at like 3 weeks old, always tried to put her on her back, she'd flip over. She always slept in my armpit and we had a down comforter pulled down, I live in a 100 year old farmhouse IDK how we could sleep without blankets, my house is old and :. Thing I always think about is how long have babies slept with their parents before there were all these rules, whatever, I think as long as you are not drinking, doing drugs, or under the influence and have a good idea of what you are doing things will be fine.

Me Wife to T (14 years)Mama to Princess(4) and Monster Boy(my 1 year old ):
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#40 of 59 Old 04-15-2008, 11:28 PM
 
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Well.... sign me up for breaking the "rules" I guess. But since the rules pretty much state NO co-sleeping, isn't just having your child in bed with you breaking the rules?

I've always slept with my kids since newborns, on a pillowtop matress, with our pillows & blankets, and even with baby in between DH & I. I've always put them down for naps on our bed too.

My babies have always slept right in the crook of my arm, and I'm a super light sleeper, so I could never imagine not being aware of them at any point.

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#41 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lilmissimpatient@c View Post
Erm...I think we broke all the rules everyday. DD slept between DH and I, under a blanket pulled up to her middle, and he and I both used pillows.
:

I know a broke them. Infact just letting DS sleep on his stomach is one and he has been doing it since 5 days old. I always had the comforters and pillows on the bed, never removed them. In the early months though I used a separate blanket for him. Not to mention, when he wakes at night I just latch him on and drift back into "la la land".
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#42 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:36 AM
 
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I've broken them all, even some bad ones, and my children are just fine. No, honestly some of them are ridiculous. I'm expected to wrap my kid in a million layers of clothes along with myself to stay warm because blankets aren't safe? Sorry, ain't happening. I think its dangerous for babies to wear much more than a diaper to bed during hot weather-and even in cooler weather it gets horribly uncomfortably hot when you've got two adults and a baby in the same bed. No one is going to be too cold, that's for sure.
I also use pillows. Seriously-I'm expected to sleep with no pillow? I wouldn't even be able to fall asleep and if I was able to, they'd have to haul me out on a stretcher and take me straight to the chiro. Besides, the baby is never near the pillow anyway!
I don't drink, however I do smoke and do not always wash my hands and face before coming to bed (and I normally have a smoke before bed). I do not smoke in the house and my children are not exposed to second hand smoke, so I'm really not concerned about it. I've heard about babies being affected by inhaling my breath after I smoke, but I haven't read any hard facts about this being a serious threat.
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#43 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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Another rule breaker here!

Pillows? - check!
Blankets? - check!
Baby naps alone on bed with pillows to stop him from rolling off? - check!

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

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#44 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:49 AM
 
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We break them. I was too scared to co-sleep for anything more a few hours at a time until DS was almost 9 months old. At the point I was due to go back to work in 4 weeks and terrified that I would be sleepwalking through my life. At that point I sidecarred the crib next to our bed and gave DS a double mattress on his floor. Honestly, it was the best thing I ever did. DS even has a down comforter on his bed. It is never up higher than his waist and his pillow is his security item. (His room is right off the living room and he's only there for short naps and a few hours before I bring him into our bed.

In our bed we totally use both pillows and blankets and he has a small blanket in the crib. For the first few months of this arrangement I was sure I was the most irresponsible mama on earth but it's worked really well for our family.

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#45 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 10:18 AM
 
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[QUOTE=wondertwins;10963549]Yes, we're rule breakers. I guess I didn't comprehend that the "no pillows" rule went for adults, as well as babes.]

me either! this hread is a great relief to me.

Rosemary, married  mama to Pascal 3/08 and expecting #2 on Halloween.
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#46 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 10:48 AM
 
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Oh yeah, we broke the rules.

He sleeps with the covers on him some times, we sleep with pillows (even though he sleeps on the mattress), and when he naps I put a pillow next to him and a rail on the other side. We do have our king mattress and box springs on the floor though.

One thing I feel that is important if your going to let them take naps in you bed is to teach them (asap-when they're crawling) how to turn around and slide off the bed on thier tummy. Once he learned how to do that, I felt much better. Oh, and we get off the bed every morning that way for practice.

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#47 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:16 PM
 
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oh ya we break them- i sleep with pillows (she sleeps on the mattress) with covers, and she sleeps on the edge in the crook of my arm (she doesnt roll over yet) and we have a co-sleeper next to me and her.

i feel better with her next to me. even in the co-sleeper i dont feel secure - what can i say? we both sleep better that way~
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#48 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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For the first month, I couldn't have nursed him in bed without a heap of pillows. Now that we've mastered side lying, I'm down to two pillows

Mama to EG, Mate to MD, Writer, Editor, International Jewel Thief.
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#49 of 59 Old 04-16-2008, 12:50 PM
 
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We have pillows and a down comforter, however it's only up to his waist. A lot of times ds and I sleep with our own blanket. DH is a heavier sleeper, so ds normally does sleep next to me.

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#50 of 59 Old 04-17-2008, 07:01 AM
 
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omg thank you sooo much for making me feel better about breaking the rules, lol! ds sleeps in between dh and i, in my arm, on his side, because i think he has reflux and he doesnt like to sleep on his back... we both use pillows (pushed away from the baby) and a blanket that the baby shares with me, and my cat sleeps at the foot of the bed, lol.

Artie, mom to Riley 3/22/08 and a surprise due Oct 2011!
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#51 of 59 Old 04-17-2008, 08:12 AM
 
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We used blankets, but we live in an older home with literally no insulation and it's cold in the winter. We had pillows. Both of our girls also slept on their tummies. We let our toddler sleep with the baby. The mattress was very firm, but it had a pillow top so it wasn't as rigid as a crib mattress.

The one rule I would never break was alcohol or medication. Neither DH or I ever consumed anything that would cause us to sleep more soundly, or be less aware than normal.

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#52 of 59 Old 04-17-2008, 01:05 PM
 
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We have a pillow-top mattress, DH and I have two pillows each, and we all have blankets. I do have a bed rail and DS has his own blanket, but more because he sleeps with his face at my nipple line, and I need a blanket over my shoulders. I do break the alcohol rule, but we're usually pretty sober by the time we go to bed, anyways. And DH is on a lot of meds for sleep and such, so usually DS is on the outside of me. When I'm working, DH and DS share the bed together.

I'm starting to think about transitioning DS to his crib, but that's mostly because I want to cuddle with DH.

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#53 of 59 Old 04-18-2008, 02:09 AM
 
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My DD was always a side sleeper, even when she was really small, and I live in a yurt, which is basically an uninsulated tent, so much too cold to leave her uncovered. We have a down comforter with a duvet, and A LOT of pillows. She was always covered up to her chin (though she has always liked to kick the covers off). our bed is in a loft, to boot, though it has a solid and safely spaced railing. We leave her up there alone. SHe's never more than 10 feet away from us. And I sleep on the couch with her. And she sleeps inbetween DH and I. I mean, after the first few nights, my and DH's awareness of her is always solid. If she is squirming, I wake up.

Whatever, I don't care what the rules say, the safest place for DD is sleeping right next to me!

Amanda, DW to Drew, mom to Ella, 7, Gardner, 2, homesteading on the edge of the continent on the Lost Coast.
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#54 of 59 Old 04-21-2008, 05:28 PM
 
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We haven't broken any rules, as these are my rules:
1. No getting drunk or high or stupid and then sleeping with baby
2. Never wake a sleeping baby (but a cuddle and a kiss is OK)

Slightly off topic: I hate that some "safe recommendations" are that only teh mother should sleep next to baby, because father can't possibly be as attunded to his child as mother. What baloney. Depends on the person of course! In our house, DH sleeps next to DD, and has done so since she stopped BF, and he is totally in sync with her, while I am snoring away. Also, The NCSS, which is a fine book imo, has the whole first chapter dedicated to safe co-sleeping. The most boring, cover my a** pile of manure I have ever read. DD hates blankets, sheets and duvets, so I don't need to worry about her being under them!
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#55 of 59 Old 04-21-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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I think I started out thinking I had to sleep with no blankets and pillows and the cat locked in the kitchen. I read all those rules and agree that they are over the top, even though basic safety is important. Though I think what is basic to us might not be so obvious to people unfamiliar with co-sleeping, who are used to 50 pillows, big fluffy comforters, beds high off the ground, and too many pharmaceuticals in their bathroom.

My rules are basic: no medication or alcohol before bed ( I do drink a glass of vino with dinner usually), and I try to keep the blankets at our waist and one firm pillow out of his way. I dress warm enough so that I won't pull the blankets up, but he'd holler if I did anyway. My husband will shimmy down for the same reason. When he was brand new I think I was more careful, or rather just more paranoid.

I think the main danger is rolling out of the bed. Ours is on the floor and is a pretty flat mattress though, so that 'danger' isn't too dangerous.
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#56 of 59 Old 04-21-2008, 06:39 PM
 
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I didn't break any of them, I don't think.

Single mom of 2 boys
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#57 of 59 Old 04-21-2008, 08:23 PM
 
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when ds was a baby, i did break the rules, but i was so nervous about it i slept very little. i was scared he would be cold. i was scared of drowning him in blankies. i was terrified of him falling down the crack but too scared to put a pillow in there to prevent it. geeeeeezzzzzzz im glad thats over! i agree, you would have to be in a coma to not know your child is suffocating in the covers, but it does happen and i wonder if the mamas of those babies thought the same thing. and i doubt the mamas of those babies were all passed out drunk or whatever. its a tough one. you gotta be comfy enough to sleep but safe too. i love those sleep sacks~ baby doesnt need a blankie at all with those but lets face it, the kiddos have to get in the covers when they are nursing all night non stop!

joyful student mama to DS 2-05, open adoption birthmama to DD 5-07: and DS 6-98, crazy in love with DH, and loving our new baby boy! 7-09:!!
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#58 of 59 Old 04-22-2008, 03:33 AM
 
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The only rule I don't break is not going to bed impaired/intoxicated. I'd hate to think what would happen if DS woke up and needed me and I was too drunk/doped up on cough medicine/etc. to know.

We never took the pillows or blankets out of bed. How on earth could anyone sleep without pillows and blankets?!? DS and I usually sleep alone since DH works graveyard shift and sleeps during the day, so when he was small I just had my own pillow in bed and kept the duvet on my side of the bed, and DS laid on the other side swaddled or underneath his own small blanket. When he got to about 1 year old I let him "graduate" to using a pillow and sharing the duvet with me. There's been a few times where I've woken up and it's been over his face, and I panic, but it obviously didn't smother him, and it never smothered DH either who sometimes sleeps with it over his face too.

I've totally let DS sleep on his tummy too. And we took forever to get a bed rail, so he fell out of bed numerous times. :
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#59 of 59 Old 04-22-2008, 09:27 AM
 
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I let my dachsies sleep in bed with us, I use a pillow, although I didn't for the first month or so. I sleep with 2 kids in my bed (soon to be 3)--not next to each other, though. We only used a sheet for the first couple of months, but now I use plenty of blankets.
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