safe co-sleeping rules - do you break them? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-08-2008, 08:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A friend and I were talking about this today. It seems we're both breaking some sort of rule of co-sleeping by letting our babies be under the covers next to us.

At my house, our bedroom is warm enough that we usually only have a sheet over us, and I cover my DD with it too, up to her waist or so. I'm wondering how many other people have their babies under the covers. I have read to safely co-sleep you shouldn't have any pillows or blankets on the bed, and that seems extreme! How would anyone sleep like that? We have a fan going in our room all night for the white noise, and the circulating air can be a bit chilly without a sheet to cover us. DD is swaddled, so I'm not worried about her getting tangled in the sheets. Plus, I'd have to be in a coma for her to get tangled in the sheets one inch from me with half her body against mine!

What do you guys think? Are there other "safe co-sleeping" rules you break?

Catherine - Born at home 01/08/08
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Old 04-08-2008, 08:08 PM
 
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I take naps on my couch with dd... but I'm only ever half asleep b/c I have to keep an eye on my naughty puppy. so I guess rather than nap I kind of doze with her on the couch sometimes.
We also have pillows-- I use a boppy as my pillow--best one I ever used, even though it says "do no sleep on this pillow", no idea why, though. We also each have our own light blanket. Also I will let her sleep on my bed while I get up to grab some water, go to the bathroom, or what have you. Sometimes I even sew while she sleeps in my bed... but my sewing machine isn't ten feet from her, so I don't know if that counts. But she's alone on the bed!
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Old 04-08-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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DD sometimes sleeps alone. We didn't have pillows for a long time, but we just recently put them back on, and let me say.... they are a God send!

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Old 04-08-2008, 08:33 PM
 
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I thought we were the only bad ones.
>.>

I have a 3 wk old.
My husband has a very manual job, so if he is over exhausted he sleeps on the couch.
I use a pillow, just one now, I used to use like three.
And I have a sheet.
We keep the fan on at night, I really can not sleep with out it.
My babe either sleeps a few inches from me on her back, with the sheet pulled up half way, or she sleeps in my arm pit.
Usually the first two hours she sleeps the few inches away from me, than at some point she wakes up, and I watch her roll over to her tummy and wiggle over. Its so cute. Then the remainder of the night she is on me, or in my armpit eating till 6am.
I keep the sheet tucked under the mattress so it really cant go anywhere.
I am an extremely light sleeper, and we've had no problems.

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Old 04-08-2008, 09:50 PM
 
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I've never heard of these rules! Where did you read them?

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Old 04-08-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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our son is usually under the blankets w/ us. he's 6 mo now. at first he had a separate blanket. i used a pillow and just kept him away from it. now i don't worry about the pillows.
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:21 PM
 
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I think I have broken all the "rules" at least once and some of the "rules" every day....I have a down comforter on my bed : though I only cover my 8 month old up to his waist. He basically sleeps in my armpit...Which is also breaking a "rule" because I am a DDD.
This is my third and they are all happy and healthy despite breaking the "rules"

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Old 04-08-2008, 10:24 PM
 
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Erm...I think we broke all the rules everyday. DD slept between DH and I, under a blanket pulled up to her middle, and he and I both used pillows.
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies, they're fun to read!

I don't even know where I read/heard these rules. They've just seeped in from various places.

Another one we break (this is just a baby sleeping rule) is that DD has a sheepskin in her moses basket, which she sleeps on when she'll tolerate sleeping away from me.

I do worry a little that when she nurses at night, she wiggles nearly onto her tummy, kind of leaning against my body. Because she's swaddled, it makes me a little nervous since she wouldn't be able to push herself up if she got tucked in too close to me on her tummy and for some reason I didn't notice. Sometimes she pulls off the breast and nuzzles right up into my armpit almost on her tummy, so she's breathing this tiny pocket of air in my armpit. I try to roll her to her back or move her so she's got more breathing room, but she always wants to go back there. I get all worried she's just breathing her own carbon dioxide. The things you can find to worry about in the middle of the night!!

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Old 04-08-2008, 10:38 PM
 
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We don't have any rules, so nothing to break.

We just go to bed as normal...we sleep no differently with kids than without.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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There are a lot of 'rules' for safe-cosleeping. Just google it.

And we break them, some at least, and most now that dd is older. We have blankets, but separate ones for each of us. We use pillows, as does she (she's a year and a half). When she was tiny, though, I was so nervous to have her sleep with a blanket.
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Old 04-08-2008, 10:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmissimpatient@c View Post
Erm...I think we broke all the rules everyday. DD slept between DH and I, under a blanket pulled up to her middle, and he and I both used pillows.

Yup. Although DS alternates sides, based on which breast he's nursing from. We've had blankets right up to his neck sometimes... it's COLD here, and we live in a drafty house. One night when the power was out.. :

I don't worry about it. I also let DS sleep on his tummy.

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Old 04-09-2008, 02:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
We don't have any rules, so nothing to break.

We just go to bed as normal...we sleep no differently with kids than without.
Very well said!

pillows, blankets, sibling, at one time cats, two parents - all in the bed together, and my new babe loves to sleep with her face tucked UNDER my breast - it doesn't matter how many times I move her - she wiggles back.

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Old 04-09-2008, 05:18 AM
 
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We have broken pretty much all of the "rules" -- although when DS was very small, we were far more strict.
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Old 04-09-2008, 05:30 AM
 
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rules schmules

I am not sure who made these rules and why they should apply to me, but it seems lots of people can't get enough of regulating other people. They love to protect people from themselves....yeesh

Anybody who cares about their children will use common sense and caution


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Old 04-09-2008, 08:13 AM
 
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We didn't start bed sharing till baby was 5 months but we have pillows galore and a nice cozy blanket.

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Old 04-09-2008, 08:28 AM
 
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I have a photo of then-4-mo-old DD, in bed without me, where I had left her with my then-boyfriend, not her dad, so I could go take a shower. They just looked so cute all wrapped up in blankets with 4+ pillows on the bed, i ust had to take a snapshot! that's um... 6 rules broken, maybe 7? Then again, 10 yrs ago, there were no such rules published.

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Old 04-09-2008, 01:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zensven42 View Post
rules schmules

I am not sure who made these rules and why they should apply to me, but it seems lots of people can't get enough of regulating other people. They love to protect people from themselves....yeesh

Anybody who cares about their children will use common sense and caution


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Lets see the "rules" we break, well we sleep with a feather duvet on the bed that I cover DS up with and we sleep with two full size and two travel size feather pillows, sometimes DS sleeps between DH and I but snuggled up to my big pendulous boob, sometimes DS sleeps in his side cared crib on his belly oh yeah and DH and I are both plus sized.

However I am hyper aware of DS and wake before he does when he needs to eat, DS actually does "sleep" through the night because he can sleep eat , I do keep the pillows away from DS and sleep with my arm between DS and my pillow. DH sleeps with a memory foam body pillow against his lower half as a roll bumper and I always wake DH up to tell him I am putting DS between us. I call the way we sleep safe risks

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Old 04-09-2008, 03:54 PM
 
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Erm...I think we broke all the rules everyday. DD slept between DH and I, under a blanket pulled up to her middle, and he and I both used pillows.
Same here.
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Old 04-09-2008, 04:09 PM
 
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Yes, we're rule breakers. I guess I didn't comprehend that the "no pillows" rule went for adults, as well as babes. I can't imagine how much more sleep deprived I would be if we had followed that one. We do start out with separate blankets, but by morning we're all sharing. They also nap on our bed alone, with blankets and pillows as a buffer between them and the edge of the bed.

Not to high jack this thread, but when do the "rules" no longer apply? I was just wondering about this the other day, as my twins will be 1 in two months. Is their birthday a magical day when I no longer have to fret about SIDS? I've done the google search, but haven't found anything conclusive that states why SIDS is a risk until 12 months.

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Old 04-09-2008, 04:12 PM
 
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Now that DS is older, we break the rules. He sleeps between us, DH and I use pillows, (ds doesn't) and we have a comforter on our bed, DS is usually covered up to his waist.

Me:
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Old 04-09-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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Erm...I think we broke all the rules everyday. DD slept between DH and I, under a blanket pulled up to her middle, and he and I both used pillows.
Us too.

SAHM to DD (6/07) and DS (10/09); happily married to DH since 2/04 .
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Old 04-09-2008, 04:26 PM
 
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I don't use a pillow, and I burrito my body up to my waist with a blanket. The end is under me, so it can't get out. No blanket for ds. DS sleeps latched on to me, on his back, with his head turned towards me. So thats the only rule I break, that he is too close to me. DH is not in the bed. DS is 4 months old. We become lax around 15 months or so. Thats when dd wanted a pillow and blanket. DH shares her bed with her.
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Old 04-09-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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I've never heard the no pillows no blankets rule. I couldn't sleep without a pillow. In that case I think the only rule I haven't broken is the "don't go to sleep drunk or high" one. I won't even take Nyquil. We use a quilt as a blanket and I keep it at my waist. Sometimes it is on part of dd, but never high enough to cover her face.

I was surprised to wake up from our weekly Monday family nap and see dd sleeping on her stomach. She hates being on her stomach, but she has just learned to roll over. I guess she was practicing it in her sleep.

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Old 04-09-2008, 07:02 PM
 
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We don't have any rules, so nothing to break.
We just go to bed as normal...we sleep no differently with kids than without.
that sums it up. i've never been a sloppy drinker, though, so i'd probably avoid being in bed really intoxicated.

also, i don't think our armpits release carbon monoxide (?), at least, not enough to poison your child with it. it's just a warm, snuggly place to be and it smells like you.

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Old 04-09-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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I just recently read the rules. We slept with pillows, heavy blankets as we live in a cold house. We had siblings, dogs, and a dad. The babes were between us. We were well packed in. We even had a water bed when ds was 6 months old. No one was ever injured. I never worried about entrapment in bedding or rolling on babies. Babies were kept close to me when they were very small and we had beds on the floor. Many many beds on the floor but when I played musical beds the babes found me when they could crawl. Sometimes that 15 minutes of stretching my arms and shoulders made a big difference.
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Old 04-09-2008, 07:12 PM
 
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I read the "rules" and then decided that they didn't work for us. DD is still alive, so I guess we're okay!

We do use blankets, two even, and a sheet. They are light and we don't use our comforter. I use one or two pillows - I can't even imagine not using pillows when side-laying nursing! DD is always lower than my arm (face level with my boobs), so she's no where near them. I pull up the blankets to her waist and use the top one to pull up over my shouders, but not over her. We do have a bed bumper, but she between me and DH half the time since the way I nurse her is to scooch her over so that she eats from a different side every time. We did have a very soft Queen futon mattress before and upgraded to a King size firmer mattress for safety and comfort.
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Old 04-09-2008, 07:21 PM
 
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When my son was tiny, we still used pillows and light blankets for ourselves but positioned him so that he was well away from them. So, the I slept with my head on the very edge of the pillow, him next to my face, and the covers up to my ribs. I also pretty much always had my arm wrapped around him or tucked over his head (with him nestled in my armpit) so I knew of anything encroached on "his" space.

Now that he's older (17 months) he insists on crawling all the way under the comforter and sleeping curled up next to my belly and knees
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Old 04-09-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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About the only rule we don't break is "don't sleep with LO after drinking."

DS's favorite place to sleep is on his belly, with his face smushed up in DH's armpit (ugh!).

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Old 04-09-2008, 08:07 PM
 
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yup, I guess we do.
we use pillows, dd has always slept btwn us and we use a comforter - albeit a thin, not down, one. Dd is always wewll below the level of the pillows with the comforter at her waist and often on her side, latched on to the breast.

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