ok, this might be more of a rant - i don't think anyone can help me.
with dd we co-slept for 8 months. i slept with her for every nap and at night. she would not ever un-latch during the night. any move i made, she was back on. it got to the point where i wasn't sleeping at all and my back was killing me. so i moved her into a crib and everything went smoothly from there. but i still regret not co-sleeping for longer. she is now 2 years old and sleeps wonderfully, so i know i shouldn't complain, but i still wish i could've had that time with her.
with ds, we have co-slept since birth (he is now 4 1/2 months old). after reading NCSS, i thought things would be different and that i would do things better. well, up until this week, things weren't too bad. i would nurse him to sleep in our bed and i was able to leave the room. for naps he would sleep an hour to two hours. at night he did pretty well too. now, he is latched on all night. he doesn't want to be nursed to sleep. he doesn't want to sleep for that matter! he is so overtired, its so sad. before this week, i knew when he was tired, took him upstairs, laid down with him, nursed to sleep. now he just has this sleepy cry/whine and refuses to nurse. then after crying in my arms as i rock him, i put him in bed and he nurses for a few minutes and falls asleep. but he won't let me leave the bed. it has taken over an hour to get him to sleep each time; sometimes i give up because it is taking too long. nothing i do helps him fall asleep peacefully: rocking, nursing, laying next to him, stroking the face, wearing in a sling/moby wrap, etc.
i have this very claustrophobic feeling. i would do anything to get this guy to sleep. he has hardly slept in the past two days. i feel like my two year old is suffering. i put her in front of the TV so that i can put him down. its been taking longer and longer. if i allow her to play instead of watch tv, she eventually comes into our room and wakes him up. i do not want her watching that much tv, either.
i don't even know if any of this makes sense. i am just ranting. what am i doing wrong? why is this so hard for me? are my expectations too high? has anyone ever had things go bad that you want to reconsider cosleeping?
thanks for reading!