Healthy Sleeping Habits, Healthy Babies?? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-05-2008, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
momlij's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NE PA
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
another mom at church mentioned this book to me and i'm curious as to what it teaches now. she's not a close friend just someone i see about every other week and her son is only a few months older than my daughter so they "talk" to each other and laugh and stuff. well she asked what time i put mine to bed and i said between 7 and 8 usually. and then she proceeds to tell me for a while he had no bedtime and he'd go to tbed around 10 or 11 or whenever he fell asleep. but she got this book and it's been great. i just nodded since i really didn't know what it was about. anyhow- i don't need the advise from thebook- we do our own thing and it works for us. i still lay with dd to get her to sleep, we co-sleep and night nurse. so i'm just curious as to what it was about so if it comes up again i will know......
momlij is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-05-2008, 03:48 PM
 
greeny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Thrift store (on half-price day)
Posts: 2,951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Do you mean Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? If so, it advocates CIO.

It does have some really great info on babies' sleep habits and needs, which could be helpful on its own, but the whole CIO thing really overshadows the good stuff.

Mom to dd (8), ds (6), and dd (1)

greeny is offline  
Old 05-05-2008, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
momlij's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NE PA
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yea- i suppose that's the book. oh now i'm sad for the little guy....... i can't imagine not going to pick up your child when they scream for you. you know i'm so glad hubby is the same as me. we never really talked about it but he hates to hear the kids cry too. this is our third child and he'll still go in with the baby if i'm at the end of my rope. you know like if she's been awake for an hour and still won't go to sleep i'll go tell him and he'll trade places with me. he's great. now every time i see the little boy i'm going to think of him crying all alone in the dark....
momlij is offline  
Old 05-05-2008, 05:15 PM
 
balancedmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 999
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, that book pretends to offer all sorts of 'options' but he basically says that CIO is the most effective and you might as well do that.

Also, another point of contention for me in the book is that your kid is going to be completely sleep-deprived and maladjusted if you don't get them to sleep by the book. And that they'll never fall asleep on their own, etc. Well, we never CIO DD and she naps and falls asleep on her own now, and sleeps through the night even. Whatever.

SugarMama to Chatterbox Zoe (almost 4) and Locomotive Miles (2)
balancedmama is offline  
Old 05-09-2008, 06:45 AM
 
Amandamanda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: here at the top of the world.
Posts: 2,191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DON'T GET IT!!!!!

its really funny that you brought this up because the same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago (someone at church reccomended it). i got a cheap copy and it arrived a few days ago. i skimmed through it and was absolutely furious at some of the things i read. its not TERRIBLE but enough to turn me off.

for example- there is a part that says, leave the baby alone and let your baby cry hard for three minutes and then soft for three minutes and then he will sleep for an hour. if you didn't let the baby cry for 6 minutes, you'd have missed out on an hours nap or something like that.

CIO? no way jose. not for me, not for my family. the book is useless to me.

BUT- if you want the book, i will give you my copy for free if you wanna pay for shipping. send me a pm if you are interested.

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." -Harold B. Lee
Amandamanda is offline  
Old 05-09-2008, 10:26 PM
 
mariel0419's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 88
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I gave this book away because it advocated CIO...premise seemed good, but bottom line is it made me feel like I was doing my DS a disservice by not letting him CIO and it was making me feel so guilty.

I wish I would've just thrown the book away because I didn't agree with it, but I decided that other parents need to make their own decisions and will be curious about this book anyway, so at the very least I may as well pass it on so as not to increase the author's income from sales, right?
mariel0419 is offline  
Old 05-10-2008, 02:47 PM
 
Mommy2Haley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: CT
Posts: 838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My friend gave me the book and swears by it. I read it and while the info on sleep is good I don't think letting my baby scream herself to sleep is the way to teach POSITIVE sleep associations. Let's consider this: screaming self to sleep - ALONE - and alone all night vs nursing to sleep and snuggling with Mommy all night. ?? Which makes more sense for a LO?

We tried to follow the sleep advice and it was HORRIBLE. My daughter just isn't ready to go to sleep at 7 ... and she'd rather be up at 9am rather than 7am. We go with the flow, follow her lead, and we're ALL happier.

BTW, this is the same friend that keeps telling me to offer dd cold tea in the middle of the night so she'll sleep w/o wanting to nurse. WTF? Isn't that a little harsh?

BFARing mama to Haley (3/07) and Abigail (11/10/09)
Mommy2Haley is offline  
Old 05-10-2008, 03:21 PM
 
Meems's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 932
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
a friend of mine used this book (including CIO) and her baby (11mo) now sleeps 11-12 hrs a night w/o nursing IN her crib... i have to say, even after her success, i'll still take my babe that wakes ~2-3 x's a night and sleeps from 9pm- 7-8am. i cannot let my baby cry. even if she is crying and i'm holding her, it is painful for me. i told my friend that i expected my DD would outgrow nightnursing and nightwaking when she was ready. besides, i would miss my baby if she was in a crib. and i'd worry about her!
Meems is offline  
Old 05-10-2008, 04:41 PM
 
Embee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tacoma, WA
Posts: 2,086
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is the book by Weisbluth, yes?

Well, in a way, this book actually helped me. It repelled me so much that I realized I was more dedicated than ever to attending to my child's attachments needs OVER just getting him to go to sleep. What really creeped me about this book is that early on it's fairly respectful only to slip the CIO advice in there without ever actually SAYING to CIO... as in, if you advocate for CIO and you can't even say the words well then, perhaps the author might feel "not altogether good" about this approach.

I was a few chapters in when I realized what he was saying and the jig was up. I put the book into the donation pile but then removed it in favor of the garbage can. I didn't want anyone else reading this advice on my account.

I picked up the Sears Baby Book instead, which I used happily until I parted ways with Sears on the subject of discipline, but that's another thread.

The best,
Em

Em 43 - Wife to hubby Mom to DS born: Jan. '01
Embee is offline  
Old 05-10-2008, 04:48 PM
 
hipmummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,043
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Has any one ever noticed that these books have only been published once (Ie Weisbluths, Babywise,etc.. Up until last year Ferber is theonly one to come out with a new book and he has change his tune dramactically. He realized that we have a whole generation of children who do not trust their parents because of his CIO method.

:CLC,Doula :Mama to 2
hipmummy is offline  
Old 05-10-2008, 09:43 PM
 
Mommy2Haley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: CT
Posts: 838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hipmummy View Post
Has any one ever noticed that these books have only been published once (Ie Weisbluths, Babywise,etc.. Up until last year Ferber is theonly one to come out with a new book and he has change his tune dramactically. He realized that we have a whole generation of children who do not trust their parents because of his CIO method.
*raises hand* I would be one of those children!! I was NEVER comforted when crying -- always left to CIO whether it be to sleep, being fussy, feeling ill, a skinned knee. Yes, you read that correctly: I was not comforted when I felt as though I was going to vomit -- my mother rolled her eyes and left me alone to feel crappy and abandoned. But that's another series of threads

BFARing mama to Haley (3/07) and Abigail (11/10/09)
Mommy2Haley is offline  
Old 05-13-2008, 01:23 AM
 
Carlyle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The Yuba River (California)
Posts: 2,209
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
While I *think* that this book had some interesting information about sleep patterns/habits and norms, I couldn't find it because it was SOOO poorly written and organized that I lost interest. All of the good information I did manage to find while wading through this book was also included in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, which is a much better book (much better written and organized in my opinion) and also doesn't advocate CIO (obviously).

Mama to Nell (11/15/06) and Maggie (10/9/10) . AFTER 2.5 YEARS, I AM AN AUNTIE!!! joy.gifHOORAY TEAR78 and welcome Anika and Brand New Baby Boy!!!!  Circumcision: the more you know, the worse it is; please leave the decision up to your son!

Carlyle is offline  
Old 05-13-2008, 10:16 AM
 
clavicula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,011
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is a crazy book about how to CIO! Don't buy it, you don't need it!

Liv, SAHM of 3 kiddos 

 

 

 

 

clavicula is offline  
Old 05-13-2008, 02:42 PM
 
NiteNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,580
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
I hate that book. My dd has never been a good sleeper, ever. Somewhere around ten months I was just worn out, tired, confused, too sleep-deprived to drive, and a friend recommended HS, HC. I had already tried pretty much everything, including NCSS (useless). We never did CIO but all the sleep books are either recommend CIO or just tell you to suck it up and deal. Friend assured me this book was different and had "actual solutions." Yay, couldn't wait.

After I slogged through all the "40% of babies who do this also do that, and 17% of those babies do X, while 1 in ten will blah blah blah" (can you imagine what this was like to my poor, sad, tired brain?) I FINALLY got to the meat of it and yup, another book about CIO. I was so ticked I actually THREW the book across the room, I physically reacted to being so let down. Ugh. Not proud.

I *THINK* this is also the book that said, if they puke just ignore it and go in and change them after they fall asleep. Well aside from the fact that it's totally disgusting to let your child cry till he or she vomits (my child has cried that hard, but not because I *let* her) and then LEAVE THEM IN IT, all of us with children who don't sleep know how totally easy it is to go in and clean them up and change their clothes without waking them. So it's also totally realistic!

Blech. Seriously, I have never been so utterly ticked off by one stupid book.
NiteNicole is online now  
Old 05-13-2008, 03:22 PM
 
Ks Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NJ - in our perennial garden
Posts: 1,872
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Its a shame because he makes the point that good sleep equals good awake time. Which is true, for all of us! But he makes it sound like if you don't do it by rigid schedules, using his one-size-fits-all approach, that you're doing a LIFELONG disservice to your child. I've had many moms over the years talk about this book & some express concern over how they just CAN'T get the schedule to work for their kids - and aren't they setting their children up for failure for the rest of their life? It's just sad.

How does letting a child cry, alone, to sleep help them learn healthy sleep associations? How can that be healthy? Do WE as ADULTS cry to sleep every night? When we wake hungry, needing to use the bathroom, uncomfortable, thirsty, etc.... are we basically strapped to our beds, without the ability to help ourselves (like an immobile baby in a crib crying desperately for a parent who doesn't come)? No. We get up, fix the problem so we're comfortable, and go back to sleep, usually cuddled with our mate.

It's so BACKWARDS to me that this society thinks its somehow OKAY to allow helpless BABIES sleep alone, afraid, without comfort, crying... just so we adults can get a "good nights sleep". Sick.

Tweet me: @kellynaturally Working Mom to 2 Montessori-schooled kids. We're a vegetarian family! I blog at kellynaturally.com <--link in my profile!

Ks Mama is offline  
Old 05-13-2008, 04:26 PM
 
veganone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,497
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meems View Post
a friend of mine used this book (including CIO) and her baby (11mo) now sleeps 11-12 hrs a night w/o nursing IN her crib...
Are you/they sure about that? My friend who is a huge CIO advocate used that with his son (also 11 mos). But, he admitted, after telling me how great the babe sleeps now, "well, he still wakes up every few hours, but he cries himself back to sleep". Poor kid...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Haley View Post
*raises hand* I would be one of those children!! I was NEVER comforted when crying -- always left to CIO whether it be to sleep, being fussy, feeling ill, a skinned knee. Yes, you read that correctly: I was not comforted when I felt as though I was going to vomit -- my mother rolled her eyes and left me alone to feel crappy and abandoned. But that's another series of threads
I'm very sorry that you had to suffer like that as a child - hugs to you NOW and I'm so glad you aren't continuing that pattern with your children! Crying babies and kids need and deserve to be comforted.
veganone is offline  
Old 05-14-2008, 05:20 PM
 
beru's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 470
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you had kept reading, you would have found that at the end he berates Dr. Sears. It was so odd because at the beginning of the book, he was presenting himself as so open to different options, etc.

He also has some bizarre breastfeeding advice. One is every breastfeeding mom should get their husband to give a bottle of expressed milk in the night, starting right when they get home from the hospital. He is adamant that it won't hurt supply and he had a lactation consultant involved in his book. I kept thinking, who the hell is this woman supporting his stupid ideas?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Embee View Post
This is the book by Weisbluth, yes?

Well, in a way, this book actually helped me. It repelled me so much that I realized I was more dedicated than ever to attending to my child's attachments needs OVER just getting him to go to sleep. What really creeped me about this book is that early on it's fairly respectful only to slip the CIO advice in there without ever actually SAYING to CIO... as in, if you advocate for CIO and you can't even say the words well then, perhaps the author might feel "not altogether good" about this approach.

I was a few chapters in when I realized what he was saying and the jig was up. I put the book into the donation pile but then removed it in favor of the garbage can. I didn't want anyone else reading this advice on my account.

I picked up the Sears Baby Book instead, which I used happily until I parted ways with Sears on the subject of discipline, but that's another thread.

The best,
Em
beru is offline  
Old 05-14-2008, 05:37 PM
 
readytobedone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: not dissertating
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by beru View Post
He also has some bizarre breastfeeding advice. One is every breastfeeding mom should get their husband to give a bottle of expressed milk in the night, starting right when they get home from the hospital. He is adamant that it won't hurt supply and he had a lactation consultant involved in his book. I kept thinking, who the hell is this woman supporting his stupid ideas?!
oh! this might be hijacking, but this reminds me of (i think) the sleep lady. anyway, whoever i'm thinking of said your baby should be intro'd a bottle of FORMULA early on just to make sure they will take it...

because, as we all know, EVERY BABY has to have formula sooner or later! :

i tell you, these sleep people are ALL nutty!

dissertating wife of Boo, mama of one "mookie" lovin' 2 year old girl! intactlact:: CTA until 7/10 FF 1501dc
readytobedone is offline  
Old 05-14-2008, 09:23 PM
 
TonyaW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I accidentally bought this book and it is horrible. I think, if I remember correctly, it advocated leaving them in their own puke while CIO. It is definitely pro CIO.
TonyaW is offline  
Old 05-15-2008, 12:42 AM
 
Mom2Joseph's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
All I can say is, read the book for yourself.

While his tone is that of an *ss....I found the science and research behind it fascinating.

I successfully did this with my DD WITHOUT CIO. And she was 18 mos. at the time and we were beyond ourselves. No lie. There are not words to describe the sleep deprivation and torture we suffered. I only wish I had nto dismissed the book for so long before reading it.

Read the entire book and see that he does have kind methods tucked in there and he does not advocate your child sleeping in puke.

I will tell you that if my DD wakes in the night I don't ignore her, but I don't play with her anymore either. I realized I was *reinforcing* DD's *habit* of nightwaking. Once I learned to respect her sleep cues our lives became 180* different.

Read it and apply it with some good ole MDC common sense and you maybe as thrilled as I was with the results Happy Baby - Happy Mommy too!
Mom2Joseph is offline  
Old 05-16-2008, 12:25 AM
 
clintonhillmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: brooklyn, ny
Posts: 689
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i also read this book, and thought i was either too stupid or too sleep deprived to understand it.... then i realized it was just poorly written!

i also thought it strange that he never states he's pro-CIO when he clearly is, and also includes info for applying his theories to the family bed which basically leaves you ignoring his whole "system".

what i did take from that book is that babies need lots of sleep - my LO was not napping nearly enough before i made more of a routine for her, which includes naptimes....as opposed to just getting schlepped all around town, catching bits of sleep here and there.

she now sleeps better during the day and night. and all without CIO.

i think with any parenting book, you have to read it and decide what's right for you and your family.
clintonhillmama is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off