Ok we just got back from a weekend long trip to visit family for Thanksgiving. DD is almost 13 months, so I thought maybe now we'd be ready to leave her for a short while with her grandparents. Monday night, dh and I went out for 1 hr 45 minutes. When we came back (I hadn't even meant to stay out that long, but we didn't have a watch with us), dd was fast asleep on the floor on a blanket (which is where she naps at their house, so that part wasn't alarming). What did alarm me was when my step mom said "oh, yeah she was crying and yawning so we just sat here and ignored her till she fell asleep."
I was so stunned I couldn't respond. I went ustairs and just bawled, to think of my poor baby feeling so abandonned. It was two hours before her normal fall-asleep time, but she had a busy few days, so I'm sure she was tired. They said it only took 5-10 minutes. Now, they tried to give her her water (which she loves), but they didn't try the breastmilk I had left. I am so upset I never want to leave her with them again. I spoke to my Dad the next morning and told him how we don't let her cry. He said they didn't know what else to do. He didn't even know there was milk in the freezer. I told him that not letting her cry makes sense since that's how she communicates, and to respond to her teaches the world is a loving place, instead of teaching her that she is not cared about. I didn't say to him that she will not be left in their care again. It just won't come up. We won't ask them. In all fairness, my step-mom was just doing things the way she thought was best. I never told her not to let her CIO.
When you have someone babysit, do you tell them not to let the baby CIO? How do you word that tactfully to somone who's convinced otherwise? Should I say anything to my step-mom? I know my Dad will tell her what I say, and she and I are not close. I don't want to confront her because I know she will belittle me.
Anyway thanks for letting me vent, and if you have any advice I appreciate it.