Need help wise mamas! (Bedsharing & nightnursing) - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-26-2008, 09:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My son is almost 8 months old. We have been cosleeping or bedsharing since he was born. For the last few months we have been putting him to sleep and then putting him in his crib. (Usually around 8:30-9) He does usually wake up in his crib and my husband puts him back to sleep a couple of times (sometimes many more). Then we bring him to bed with us around midnight & I nurse him back to sleep. Then throughout the night he wakes up or starts getting restless, I give him the boob & he nurses back to sleep. Although, lately he isn't always going back to sleep nursing. He just thrashes around and won't nurse. We have to get up & bounce him back to sleep.

Soooooo, here are my concerns.
1. Is there any problem with me nursing him as much as he wants through the night? (He does have 4 teeth)
2. Will he ever fall back to sleep on his own? Sleep through the night?
3. How important is it that he be able fall asleep on his own? Doing the whole put-them-down-while-they-are-sleepy-but-not-asleep thing??

I would love to hear all experiences and input!

Thanks!
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Old 08-27-2008, 01:36 AM
 
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1. Is there any problem with me nursing him as much as he wants through the night? (He does have 4 teeth) No. I nursed my ds on demand all night until he was 22 mo and am doing so with my 12 mo dd.

2. Will he ever fall back to sleep on his own? Sleep through the night? Yes and Yes, when he's developmentally able to. Nothing wrong with you parenting him to sleep in whatever way he needs.

3. How important is it that he be able fall asleep on his own? Doing the whole put-them-down-while-they-are-sleepy-but-not-asleep thing?? Not at all, at this age. He will fall asleep on his own when he's ready to do so, just like walk, and talk, and tie his shoes. You don't have to force any of that. I've NEVER been able to put either of my babies down while sleepy but not asleep. I lie beside them with a nipple in their mouth til they fall asleep then I roll away.

Amanda - wife to DH Kellyjog.gif, Mummers to Trentreading.gif born 03/03/05 Bridgetdust.gif born 08/08/07 and a IT'S A BOY! Kennedy babyboy.gifborn 02/20/11!
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Old 08-27-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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1. no problem at all. I've nursed on demand the whole time with both nurslings (older of whom is 5 3/4 years old) and the older one nightweaned on his own around 3 1/2.

2. yes and yes. when he's ready.

3. not important at all. nobody in my family sleeps through the night! nobody. not DH or I even. eventually everyone falls asleep on their own (well, aside from the large population who needs things like rozerem and lunesta). never have done the whole "put them down while sleepy" bit and yet all my older boys know how to fall asleep and even newbie is pretty good at it.
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Old 08-27-2008, 03:10 PM
 
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Good for you for listening to you LO's needs and going with them! My take on concerns like this is that if you let your LO be dependent as much as they need to when they are little then they will be able to be independent when they are ready. So if your LO is needing to nurse a lot at night (which is totally normal!) and you are responding to his/her needs by letting them then you are helping to set the stage for a trusting and secure relationship. I night nursed both of my boys until just after they turned one and then we chose (for different reasons for both of them) to night wean. Though we do still co sleep with them both and they both freely nurse during the day as well.
I have heard that a lot of times LO's will stop nursing a lot during the day once they become mobile (and need every possible moment to explore!) or if they are w/o mama during the day (then they stock up at night).
Even though it seems like you will never get enough sleep again remember that all in all this is such a short period in your life and then it will be over and you will look back and miss the time when your baby was a baby!
Good luck in finding a fit for your family.

Mama to my three little loveys and living the good life in the beautiful Pacific North West 
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Old 08-28-2008, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks to all of you! Sometimes I guess you just need to be reassured. I start getting concerned every time I read anything about sleeping in the baby books I've got. "Touchpoints", "What To Expect the First Year". I realize a lot of it is not our parenting style, but there is some good info. But then, I read certain things and second guess myself. What are some good attachment parenting books?? How about good child development books?

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