DS Takes 1.5 hours to fall Asleep...Is this normal? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 09-19-2008, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering how long your toddlers take to fall asleep at nap time and at night time? DS is almost 2 and in the last month or 2 has started taking 1.5 hours to fall asleep. We nurse, back rub, nurse, tell stories, sing, nurse, wiggle, nurse, fuss a little and finally go to sleep. I thought at first he was ready to give up his nap but when he finally gets to sleep he sleeps for 2 - 3 hours, so that tells me he still needs it.

We usually start winding down for bed about 7:30 - read, brush teeth, change diaper and pjs. DS sleeps with us so I get in bed with him to nurse until he falls asleep and it ends up being 1.5 hours of the above. He usually sleeps 10 - 11 hours at night. Bedtime does not seem so bad for taking so long, but nap time stresses me out because the entire afternoon is taken up in getting him to sleep and then the actual nap. He often wakes up at 5 or 5:30 then it is time to start supper and get ready for bed and we need time to go outside and play, etc. Adjusting to a later bedtime seems to only make him sleep later in the morning which means he is not tired for a 1:00 nap which makes it a later nap time and the cycle continues!

Is this normal or am I failing miserably in getting my child to relax?

We are in the process of changes - DH started a new job 3 hrs away and DS and I are still in our previous house until it sells. We see DH on weekends. This has been going on since June and the timing of the sleep problem didn't really seem to coincide, DS is pretty easy going about things like that, but who knows what he is thinking?

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#2 of 14 Old 09-19-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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I am having the same problem with DD, 18 months. She has always been one to fight sleep. My DH can put her down faster for some reason, but he usually walks her to sleep. I have refused to do that since she was about 13 months after spending a big chunck of change at the chiropractor's to get myself back into working order. I try to do a routine and be consistent and try to some extent follow the Pantley No Cry Sleep Soln method. Sometimes it takes a good CIA to get her to sleep. Bedtime is a little better than nap. I try to start early, after lunch, about 12:30 when it is obvious she is tired, but she never falls asleep before 2 even after rocking, lying down with her, rubbing her back. Then she doesn't wake until 4:30 or 5, which makes bedtime difficult. I'm interested in what other's experiences are too! Glad someone else it there even though it's rough
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#3 of 14 Old 09-20-2008, 01:00 AM
 
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When my guy was taking that long to go to sleep, we put his bedtime later and did everything quicker. He got to bed at the same time he had already been, but we were a little bit less frazzled, b/c instead of spending that hour or so getting anxious about him sleeping, we spent that time just relaxing with him.

At one point his bedtime was rather late (hubby and I are nightowls and DS is the same), but then we noticed that he was getting tired earlier, so we slowly slllloooowwwwwllllyyyyy moved his bedtime a bit earlier. That was at some point after 2, maybe into 3 (not sure).
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#4 of 14 Old 09-20-2008, 04:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by milkybean View Post
When my guy was taking that long to go to sleep, we put his bedtime later and did everything quicker. He got to bed at the same time he had already been, but we were a little bit less frazzled, b/c instead of spending that hour or so getting anxious about him sleeping, we spent that time just relaxing with him.

At one point his bedtime was rather late (hubby and I are nightowls and DS is the same), but then we noticed that he was getting tired earlier, so we slowly slllloooowwwwwllllyyyyy moved his bedtime a bit earlier. That was at some point after 2, maybe into 3 (not sure).
I guess some nights we do that and she's usually so tired she will go to sleep quicker. But naptime is still a pain. Sometimes I don't think our room is dark enough.
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#5 of 14 Old 09-20-2008, 05:56 PM
 
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I guess some nights we do that and she's usually so tired she will go to sleep quicker. But naptime is still a pain. Sometimes I don't think our room is dark enough.
we've put a blanket or two over our curtains, so that the bedroom stays pretty dark. or else ds wakes up really early. plus dh works nights so it needs to be dark for him also. he has to have it pitch black to sleep also! =) like father like son

it's always been hard to get ds to sleep also though, so i feel your pain. Latley i've just been letting it go. if he isn't going to sleep i'm not going to fight about it or stress about it, cause it just gets me too upset. and then i'm not such a nice mommy or i feel like maybe my head is going to burst right off cause i'm sooo upset! usually it works out better. i just start cleaning up or something and he'll play for a minute and then come to me. today i didn't think he'd ever go down for a nap.so i switched tactics and put him in the ergo on my back. he was still babbling and then i turned on the vacuum to vacuum the house, and he was seriously out in a few seconds! it was hilarious. like a cartoon or something!! =)
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#6 of 14 Old 09-20-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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Wow, you sure do a lot to get your ds to sleep. My kids (3 & 5) go straight to sleep but I usually do no back rubs etc... They just get in bed and within 10-15 minutes are out. Maybe try less stimulation? GL I know it has to be frustrating.
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#7 of 14 Old 09-21-2008, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by milkybean View Post
When my guy was taking that long to go to sleep, we put his bedtime later and did everything quicker. He got to bed at the same time he had already been, but we were a little bit less frazzled, b/c instead of spending that hour or so getting anxious about him sleeping, we spent that time just relaxing with him.
Whenever we are up later doing things (dinner with friends, etc) and we get in bed later, that just makes him stay up later, still takes 1.5 hours. Have been afraid to try what you said because of that, but maybe relaxing later would be different than just being out later?


I worry too much about DS not getting enough sleep. I've read they need 12-14 hours at this age for healthy development.

MySoyMilkGirls - Wow, were they that easy even at 2 yo?

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#8 of 14 Old 09-21-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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Hi!

My ds takes that long to get to sleep when he has had a nap. He is 2.5 and has done this for a while. He used to take that long every night (because he used to nap every day). Then he dropped his nap and it took 5 min to get him to sleep. Now, he seems to still need to nap occasionally so I just try every day. On the days he naps, he goes to bed later and I just go to bed with him (b/c I find it really frustrating to wait that long to get up again!). On the days he doesn't nap I come out and have some down time. It's rough when they take so long to zonk out! We have a baby due this spring.... hope it goes okay with that when it happens!

Jessica, wife to Mark, homeschooling mama to Micah (2006), Noah (2009), Owen (2012) and another on the way this August (20014)
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#9 of 14 Old 09-22-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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! I don't know if it is normal, but I do know I could have written your post. You aren't alone. DD has taken this long to fall asleep for as long as I can remember. Now that she is older, I've actually considered dropping DD's (2.5 yo) nap to see if that helps. It doesn't matter when I put her to bed- earlier or later, she always takes about 1.5 hours to settle. I can see the thoughts in her little head racing, and feel so bad that she can't seem to settle down. Other nights I just get totally impatient and resentful that I can't just have time alone with DH for once. I've done everything the books say to set up sleep for her- routine, no TV or sugar, lots of time outside, massage- you name it. Chiropractic, CST. Nope. nothing. The only time she has taken less time to fall asleep is while driving in the car or when she was sick. I don't know.:

Heidi , wife to my DH , mama to Hope Isobel (4/3/06), Molly Grace (7/31/09): , furbaby Callie :
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#10 of 14 Old 09-22-2008, 02:33 AM
 
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I absolutely relate, so I'll share what we did although my son is much older--4. He's always taken so long to go to sleep and he is a seriously sleepy kid in general so I was hesitant to cut out his naps (similar to what you said, it just seemed like he needed them so much). Nonetheless, in an effort to get him sleep in a reasonable amount of time, we cut out naps at about 4 1/2 yrs. (like I said, totally different than your 2 year old, I know). Anyway, we also switched up the bedtime routine. We started at the same time, but I started making sure that there is always crazy play time after dinner. We started bath at the same time (about 6:45 in the summer/spring and about half an hour earlier in the fall/winter--sounds kooky maybe but if you live where there are seasons I swear it makes a difference), but made bath longer and more fun--more playtime. Then we just really take our time with brushing teeth, pjs, make it fun and not harried. Then we upped the number of books to really stretch reading time. Together, all this worked wonders for us and he's out right after I turn the lights out (his sister, 21 months, is out usually while I'm still reading to him). Hope that helps a little.
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#11 of 14 Old 09-22-2008, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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... days he naps, he goes to bed later and I just go to bed with him (b/c I find it really frustrating to wait that long to get up again!)....
:

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#12 of 14 Old 09-22-2008, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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! I don't know if it is normal, but I do know I could have written your post. You aren't alone. ..... It doesn't matter when I put her to bed- earlier or later, she always takes about 1.5 hours to settle. I can see the thoughts in her little head racing, and feel so bad that she can't seem to settle down.
Thanks for the commiseration!

DS starts saying words describing all the things he's seen that day!

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#13 of 14 Old 09-22-2008, 05:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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..... Then we upped the number of books to really stretch reading time...... Hope that helps a little.

Thanks for the tips!

Quick question for you (or anyone): Do you read the books in bed? I tried this at nap time and had to physically take the book from him and he went to sleep crying "read mommy book". (broke my heart) We took 2 hours that day to get to sleep!

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#14 of 14 Old 09-22-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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I think it's normal.

Dd is 19 months and we have gone through several stages like that -- each of them nearly drove me completely mad!

We're doing better now, but I don't know why, exactly.

We implemented a bedtime routine, but I've abandoned it the last few nights because we've been getting to bedtime so late.

We do/have read in bed. Sometimes dd gets mad when it is time to put the books away. Reading isn't particularly relaxing for her anyway. She still won't let me read a whole (short) book many nights. She likes to be in charge of the book...she does usually like it if I talk to her about the illustrations.

I do think that our recent addition of me gently laying her down in her bed as many times as it takes (she gets up) has helped. She usually doesn't want me to touch her, but sometimes will snuggle. I try to let her come to me, and maybe gently offer my presence from time to time.

Good luck. I'm sure they grow out of it...eventually.
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