Are we scarring our child's psyche? (Bed-sharing vs. sleep-sharing) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 11-06-2008, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
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We share our bed with our son, but we put him down to sleep before we grownups are ready for bed (unless I am so tired I pass out with him when I am nursing him down). He wakes, often because he needs to pee, and he ALWAYS sits up in bed and cries in this really pitiful way (which escalates if I, mama, do not show up in a timely manner - papa is no good in this situation). We are always footsteps away (literally, about 20 feet from the bedroom), so we get there almost as soon as we hear him cry. Generally, he needs to pee, we give him a chance to potty (or change a diaper if he's wet already), and get him back to sleep pretty fast.

This may sound like a silly question, but is our son is going to be scarred by waking up repeatedly at night in the dark, with nobody in the room except him? We ALWAYS come in, and we ALWAYS stay with him until he drops back off to sleep, but I would seriously go insane if I never got to have time in the evenings for myself or to spend time with DH.

Worry and Guilt, the mother's constant companions...
Thanks for any reassurance you can give me that it's okay to share the bed, but not share sleep all the time.

Doula, WOHM, wife to a super-fun papa, mama to the Monkey ('07), and his little brother, the Sea Monkey ('09).
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#2 of 3 Old 11-06-2008, 07:39 PM
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I wouldnt worry about that. What he is learning is that you are there for him when he needs him, its not like he is crying and you are yelling to him "I'll be there just as soon as Law and Order is off, honey!" No, you go in and see him right away. Would a nightlight help? I certianly dont think parents need to go to sleep the same time as the kids.
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#3 of 3 Old 11-06-2008, 07:42 PM
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Don't know, I hope not. I will say that Lina has cried quite piteously in her sleep when I'm right there next to her and it's exactly the same as the <20ft away cry. Luckily for us, Daddy will work so either of us can go take her to the bathroom, but she doesn't go back to sleep on her own.
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