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Old 02-19-2009, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
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My 6-year-old just had his IQ tested and he got a 130, which is at the very bottom of the gifted category. My husband and I have IQs of 140 and 120, respectively. I wanted to know if it is typical for a child to have an IQ that is the average of the two parents. Is this your experience?

Also, how much of an influence can environment on IQ have at this point? I feel like I've dragged my son's IQ down with my lower IQ genes and I want him to have all of the advantages my gifted husband has. Any suggestions?

Thanks for any input!
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:21 AM
 
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My 6-year-old just had his IQ tested and he got a 130, which is at the very bottom of the gifted category. My husband and I have IQs of 140 and 120, respectively. I wanted to know if it is typical for a child to have an IQ that is the average of the two parents. Is this your experience?

Also, how much of an influence can environment on IQ have at this point? I feel like I've dragged my son's IQ down with my lower IQ genes and I want him to have all of the advantages my gifted husband has. Any suggestions?

Thanks for any input!
um, dragged him down? sorry you feel that way. maybe if would be better if you and DH didn't know your IQs? now...where is that mind-erasing stick from "men in black?"

in general, there is something called "regression toward the mean", which i have understood means that when two gifted parents have a kid together, the kid is more likely to be closer to the average IQ than his/her parents are. so like if both parents had IQs of 140, kid is still likely to have a lower IQ. (someone can correct me, please, if i've got this wrong.)

does that make you feel better?

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Old 02-19-2009, 12:38 AM
 
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Also to think about... depending on when your IQ was tested, and what tests he and you used, you may or may not be able to compare the scores. From what I've read, the scores today are lower than a comparable "actual" score in the 70s/80s... e.g., his 130 on a modern test might be equal to his dad's 140.

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Old 02-19-2009, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
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Also to think about... depending on when your IQ was tested, and what tests he and you used, you may or may not be able to compare the scores. From what I've read, the scores today are lower than a comparable "actual" score in the 70s/80s... e.g., his 130 on a modern test might be equal to his dad's 140.
We just took the WAIS a few years ago.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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The description of "regression toward the mean" was correct. All of the folks out at the left edge of the bell curve are anomalies, basically, and the further out one is, the rarer, although there is some speculation that the actual population on the far left end may be larger than statistically predicted.

In any case, remember that IQ is broadly important over the population level, and that any particular person's score is a kind of "snapshot" of their performance on a particular day. Their actual ability is in more of a range. Also, 130 is above the mean IQ for pretty much every career; with an IQ in this range, your child should have a shot at any profession he/she wishes to join.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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Regarding environmental factors... this from a paper our neuropsychs gave me to read yesterday: Up to 28% of IQ variance is based on sociodemographic factors (like parental education). (The reference is Vanderploeg et al, WISC III premorbid prediction strategies... Psychol Assess, 1998, 10(3), 277-284.)

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Old 02-19-2009, 12:45 AM
 
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Highly gifted parents often have kids with average or even lower-than average IQs. Similarly, average parents sometimes have kids who are profoundly gifted. Yes, genes are highly influential, but many other factors play a role. And it's not a simple kind of inheritance like eye color. The bottom line is that you will never know why your child has the IQ he does.

Well, the real bottom line is that your son is your son and he has the IQ that he has, and feeling bad about it isn't going to do anything for him or for you. A kid with an IQ of 130 is by no means disadvantaged. In fact, it will probably be easier for him to get an appropriate education.

There's no point in searching for someone or something to blame for this--it's not even a problem as far as I can see.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:46 AM
 
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I think the OP just wants to know what the general distribution of parents' IQs vs. child IQs is, not judgment for her internal sadness! HTH!

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Old 02-19-2009, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
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I think the OP just wants to know what the general distribution of parents' IQs vs. child IQs is, not judgment for her internal sadness! HTH!


Yep, but thanks very, very much for the encouraging words.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:55 AM
 
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I think the OP just wants to know what the general distribution of parents' IQs vs. child IQs is, not judgment for her internal sadness! HTH!
I hope I didn't seem judgmental. It seemed to me that OP was clearly upset about her son's (high) intelligence. I can't help but point out the obvious--that she should not be judging herself or her son. I was not trying to be mean; I was trying to help her see it from another perspective.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:56 AM
 
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Yep, but thanks very, very much for the encouraging words.
I wish you luck in this difficult time.

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Old 02-19-2009, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
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I wish you luck in this difficult time.
Thanks, I needed that It's so great to have found such a caring, supportive message board. I guess I was just a little disappointed because I had over-estimated my son's intelligence to be more similar to my husband's and now I realize it's not. I know he will be fine and I have nothing to worry about but it's still a little bit of surprise to me. Has anyone else experienced this?
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Old 02-19-2009, 02:09 AM
 
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IQ scores aren't the be-all and end-all of intelligence, by any means. One of my partners has an IQ of 165 and you'd never guess he was gifted unless you saw him study. He's so absent-minded that he and his highly gifted IQ have a much more difficult time getting through the day than I and my more average (135) IQ do. English is my gift and his weakness, so upon meeting us, most people believe I'm more intelligent because I'm better spoken.

As for the kids, only the older four have been tested, and they're 145, 175, 140, and 115 (not scores that equal the average of my IQ and their father's). However, my daughter with the 145 IQ frequently surpasses her sister with an IQ 30 points higher because she's more motivated and studies harder.

Being upset over your child having an IQ of 130 is ridiculous, IMHO. Highly to profoundly gifted kids have a hard road in life, because they're so different. Keeping my most highly gifted daughter interested and entertained is a never-ending challenge, and we had to homeschool her because even the best private school in our area couldn't accommodate her gifts and learning style. It looks like I'm probably going to be embarking on the highly to profoundly gifted journey again with my 4yo twins. It would be a lie to say I'm enthused about the prospect.

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Old 02-19-2009, 07:58 AM
 
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It's always an adjustment when reality doesn't fit our expectations, whether it's for the better, for the worse, or most often just nuetral.

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I guess I was just a little disappointed because I had over-estimated my son's intelligence to be more similar to my husband's and now I realize it's not.
You might have been correct. As Supervee pointed out the tests have changed over the years. So, unless your DS took an out of date test from the same time period that your DH was tested in his scores are not comparable to your DH's.

I'm pretty sure I only fit into the moderate or high gifted range as a kid, but if you look at my numbers on a modern chart I would be at the profoundly gifted level. Of course if I actually went out and got tested these days I'd probably barely hit the average range since I'm so sleep deprived.

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Old 02-19-2009, 09:05 AM
 
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There is research out there suggesting that intelligence is carried on the X chromosome. I used to have a New Scientist link to an article on this, but it doesn't seem to be working any longer. At any rate, try not to focus on the number!
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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It might also be that your DS's IQ is higher than he tested. It won't be lower but it could be higher. Doesn't matter much, either way.

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IQ scores aren't the be-all and end-all of intelligence, by any means. One of my partners has an IQ of 165 and you'd never guess he was gifted unless you saw him study. He's so absent-minded that he and his highly gifted IQ have a much more difficult time getting through the day than I and my more average (135) IQ do. English is my gift and his weakness, so upon meeting us, most people believe I'm more intelligent because I'm better spoken.
I could've written that myself! I don't know my DH's IQ but it's definitely much higher than mine. But he is inarticulate (but good-looking enough to make up for it, LOL!). He used to stutter terribly, as well. He's also very absent minded. On Monday I drove him over an hour to the airport to catch a plane and after we arrived we had to turn around and go back to get his passport. Stuff like that happens constantly. He's always losing things and forgetting things. I find it endearing. He just has so much going on in his head that he finds it difficult to concentrate on real life.
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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From http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Wha...ed/learned.htm

Brothers and sisters are usually within five or ten points in measured ability. Parents' IQ scores are often within 10 points of their children's; even grandparents' IQ scores may be within 10 points of their grandchildren's. We studied 148 sets of siblings and found that over 1/3 were within five points of each other, over 3/5 were within 10 points, and nearly 3/4 were within 13 points. When one child in the family is identified as gifted, the chances are great that all members of the family are gifted.

Remember that this is a statistical relationship, so there are always outliers.


Also -- an IQ test is an indication at one point in time. It is generally believed that while it is highly improbable that a person will score higher than their IQ, it is much more likely that they will score lower. So, you can be confident that her IQ score is *at least* 130. Testing later may show a higher score -- or lower depending on test day circumstances. In Webb's book "Parenting the Gifted Child," he indicated that it is not unheard of to have a swing of 20 points - especially if the initial testing circumstance was not ideal.

Laura - Mom to ds (10) and dd (7) "Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life." Brian Andreas.

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Old 02-24-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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I have no idea what my IQ is. DH was tested years back and it was 144. We speculate that DD2 is gifted, but not sure to what degree.

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Old 02-25-2009, 06:46 PM
 
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My dh's IQ score is much higher than mine- before we had kids my dh mentioned repeatedly that he'd prefer our kids be "smart like their mom instead of their dad"- because I have so much more common sense. Also- as a child I was smart to where school was easy, but not boring like it was for him. His excess IQ may have benefits now, but it actually made his life much more difficult for a long time. We haven't had the children tested- I kind of don't want to know a number at this point.

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Old 02-25-2009, 07:42 PM
 
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I'm kind of glad that no one ever told me my IQ. I know it is pretty high, but I think that there is way too much importance attached to that number. Of course, I always wonder what it is, but I don't want to do the test. I kind of like not knowing. If I ever do have DS tested, I don't think I will tell him his score (of course, if he is gifted, I'm sure my Dh will blab the score to anyone who will listen, so I might need to gag him! )
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Old 02-25-2009, 08:02 PM
 
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From http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Wha...ed/learned.htm

Brothers and sisters are usually within five or ten points in measured ability. Parents' IQ scores are often within 10 points of their children's; even grandparents' IQ scores may be within 10 points of their grandchildren's. We studied 148 sets of siblings and found that over 1/3 were within five points of each other, over 3/5 were within 10 points, and nearly 3/4 were within 13 points. When one child in the family is identified as gifted, the chances are great that all members of the family are gifted.

Remember that this is a statistical relationship, so there are always outliers.


Also -- an IQ test is an indication at one point in time. It is generally believed that while it is highly improbable that a person will score higher than their IQ, it is much more likely that they will score lower. So, you can be confident that her IQ score is *at least* 130. Testing later may show a higher score -- or lower depending on test day circumstances. In Webb's book "Parenting the Gifted Child," he indicated that it is not unheard of to have a swing of 20 points - especially if the initial testing circumstance was not ideal.
Agreed. I was involved in a research study when I was in school. I was tested at 3 different ages and each time progressivly got better.

Others have made comments about even something as "normal" as english is sometimes more difficult. I can't spell to save my life. Mainly because it doesn't make sense to me. It is not logical and doesnt always stay consistant.

I also have struggled with school because I TRULY get bored. I didn't enjoy it.

My step son is the only one who's IQ has been tested. He is at 135 and really enjoys school, does really well and is a smart kid. My boys are a little more like me, and while I would be curious to have their number, I wont have them tested because I dont' want them to run into the problems I did. My family likes to remind me that my last IQ test came out at 162 and I am just a "mom". There was a lot of pressure that I should have done so much more with my life. I will argue to my dying day that I am doing the best job ever, being a mom, but there was a lot of pressure because people assumed I should be SO smart. I can learn just about anything very easily, but I also get beyond bored and really I do give up easier then I should.

Anyway, my point is, while you might feel that 130 is not "gifted" I see it as more of a gift in many ways.
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Old 02-26-2009, 12:05 AM
 
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Anyway, my point is, while you might feel that 130 is not "gifted" I see it as more of a gift in many ways.
:

Mine was 160 . . . and I have had a similar experience to phrogger.

If your IQ is too low, people do not expect much . . . if it is too high, they expect TOO much.

Being right in the middle is a WONDERFUL place to be. Those around you will encourage you to excel, yet not pressure you to perform.

Personally, I HATED being smart sometimes --- when there WAS something I needed help with, my parents tended to comment "oh, you're so smart, you'll just figure it out" . . . and then, of course, they tended to give my 3 siblings all the attention because *they needed it* . . .

I have to say that I got in plenty of trouble that my parents never knew about, because I was "so mature, we never have to worry about her choices" . . .

IME, 'Normal' is very, VERY nice.
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:41 PM
 
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:

Mine was 160 . . . and I have had a similar experience to phrogger.

If your IQ is too low, people do not expect much . . . if it is too high, they expect TOO much.

Being right in the middle is a WONDERFUL place to be. Those around you will encourage you to excel, yet not pressure you to perform.

Personally, I HATED being smart sometimes --- when there WAS something I needed help with, my parents tended to comment "oh, you're so smart, you'll just figure it out" . . . and then, of course, they tended to give my 3 siblings all the attention because *they needed it* . . .

I have to say that I got in plenty of trouble that my parents never knew about, because I was "so mature, we never have to worry about her choices" . . .

IME, 'Normal' is very, VERY nice.
i wanted to point out that 130 is not average by any means either. so not exactly normal

it's two standard deviations above the mean, which is pretty significant, and may lead to some challenges, especially depending on where you live. but i do agree 130 is probably a great IQ to have in many respects.

my IQ is more in the 145 range, but i've always been glad my IQ isn't above 150. to me, above 150 is where things start to get hairy! lol. (of course, maybe that's just because it's right above where i am, so it seems "too high.") who knows?

anyway, i agree IQ is not the end-all be-all. but like the OP i would probably feel worried if my child's IQ was lower than i thought it was going to be

i don't know DH's IQ but i suspect it's similar to mine, so if DD ends up at 120 or something, i have to say, yes, i would be worried about that. flame away, i'm probably a monster

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Old 03-02-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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anyway, i agree IQ is not the end-all be-all. but like the OP i would probably feel worried if my child's IQ was lower than i thought it was going to be

i don't know DH's IQ but i suspect it's similar to mine, so if DD ends up at 120 or something, i have to say, yes, i would be worried about that. flame away, i'm probably a monster
I think it is perfectly reasonable to want one's children to be like oneself and/or one's partner, whether physically or intellectually or otherwise. But our kids are not carbon copies of us, and as parents our job is to love the things about them that are like us, as well as the things that make them individuals.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being worried about it. The problem is not with worry, but with disappointment. And, in fact, there is nothing wrong with feeling disappointment. The issue (as I see it) is when parents fail to accept that things are not as they anticipated and move on from there. The bottom line is that we have to love and accept our children for who they are.
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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i wanted to point out that 130 is not average by any means either. so not exactly normal

it's two standard deviations above the mean, which is pretty significant, and may lead to some challenges, especially depending on where you live. but i do agree 130 is probably a great IQ to have in many respects.
Yes, around here 130 gets you into our gifted programs with points to spare- it is not considered "average" at all.

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Old 03-02-2009, 04:49 PM
 
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i wanted to point out that 130 is not average by any means either. so not exactly normal

it's two standard deviations above the mean, which is pretty significant, and may lead to some challenges, especially depending on where you live. but i do agree 130 is probably a great IQ to have in many respects.
Yes I knew that . . . my calling 130 'normal' was more in response to the OP who seemed to be referencing it to 'the bottom of the barrel' (so to speak) -- she stated that for her school, 130 'barely' got her son in . . . I think it was the way she said it; and I was hoping to reassure her that, while 130 is certainly *closer* to 'normal' than the 140 she had hoped for, there are also certain advantages to the MG prognosis (as opposed to the HG/PG/EG) . . .

But, I respect the correction -- Thanks
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Old 03-02-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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OP, when I was a young child, I was often told that I was bright but not especially bright. I wasn't tested until I was 9 years old, at which point I hit the ceiling of the comprehensive IQ testing that the school board was doing then with all 4th graders. I never skipped a grade (moved every six months) and I was occasionally included in gifted pull-outs, but until it was discovered that I was reading and comprehending at least to grade 12 graduation level, and also had taught myself algebra to grade 12 level as well, I was not considered in need of anything special for my education (my artwork had been the only product of note until then).

At that point, I was offered tuition and placement in a private school for gifted children, but my parents didn't care and as was usual, we moved somewhere out of range of that school. The ceiling for the test prevented them knowing haw far beyond grade 12 I was in those areas of my abilities.

Anyway, I do think that if I had been tested earlier, I wouldn't have scored commensurate with my intellectual ability, and not just because of the comments from others, but because I had a lot going on in myself then. I had an abusive up-bringing (which often has epic consequences for any child, let alone one who understands exactly what is going on and why), and although your son isn't in the same situation as I was, he may still have other things going on that occlude or suppress his score for now- emotional, spiritual, and/or physical aspects of his personhood, perhaps.

Fwiw, my dh also has a huge IQ (and similarly as incidentally ostracising as mine) and while I can speculate our children's current IQs (they are still so young) and feel reasonably confident in my assessment, we won't have them tested. It's already rather clear that our dc wave an 'out-there' flag, so I'm sure it will become clear to them at some point too that they are somewhat unusual. At least in our home they're natives.

OP, it is excruciating to have a ridiculously high IQ. So far, my dc seem to be still in RG (ridiculously...) range, but not as R as me, which is to their distinct advantage, I think, even though they already have received so many comments that upset me more than them.

That said, I know that it would be difficult for me if my dc were neuro-typical, and not because I'd think less of them, but just because it would present challenges regarding shared and common experiences for us as a family, or at least for me being in my family. I feel at home with my family as it is, but I'd feel completely alone with neuro-typical children and husband. So, I guess that might make me a monster too, but even monsters need the companionship of monsters...

Well, I've been absent for 8 months, and during that time, it turns out that I have completely transformed. You are all precious. Thank you for being here and sharing your lives. You are truly a gift. namaste.gif Jan. 23, 2012

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Old 03-03-2009, 04:12 PM
 
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I think it is perfectly reasonable to want one's children to be like oneself and/or one's partner, whether physically or intellectually or otherwise. But our kids are not carbon copies of us, and as parents our job is to love the things about them that are like us, as well as the things that make them individuals.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being worried about it. The problem is not with worry, but with disappointment. And, in fact, there is nothing wrong with feeling disappointment. The issue (as I see it) is when parents fail to accept that things are not as they anticipated and move on from there. The bottom line is that we have to love and accept our children for who they are.
i agree 100%!

i definitely think i can accept DD and love her, regardless of any of that stuff.

for me, i've realized my major concern about DD possibly not being as smart as we are (which i don't particularly suspect, but i do worry about, because what can i say? i'm a mom and i worry! ) is just that we'll have a hard time relating to each other. or actually, that she'll have a hard time accepting ME

i know that probably sounds wacky as all hell, right? but i actually worry about having an average intelligence, popular daughter who thinks i'm a big freakin' dork and can't relate to me at all. i worry about my DD being like girls from high school that i hated, and hated me.

kind of warped, huh? maybe something to talk to my therapist about...:

dissertating wife of Boo, mama of one "mookie" lovin' 2 year old girl! intactlact:: CTA until 7/10 FF 1501dc
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Old 03-03-2009, 04:22 PM
 
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I understand worrying about how you'll relate to your child if their IQ and their perception of the world is dramatically different from your own.

But I have to say you adjust. Because, in some way your child is going to be so fundamentally different from you that you can't relate. It will happen because your child is their own unique person. If not intelligence it will be something else.

My husband and I are both introverts. My 6yo DS is a huge extrovert. I completely and totally don't understand his need to socialize. He is bouncing off of walls and going crazy if he doesn't get a chance to play with a friend for a whole weekend. He begs to go out and do things. I would rather curl up at home and read a good book. I think he understand me better than I understand him. One of his neighbor friends is very shy and introverted. But they are still good friends. But I'm not sure I understand him. I look ahead and worry about how I am going to guide him through the challenges of childhood and adolescence when he needs something so different socially than I do/did. But I just trust that we'll figure it out and as long as I value him for the unique individual he is it will all work out well.

Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
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