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#91 of 94 Old 11-12-2009, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
I do want to add, though, that I totally disagree that a mother is responsible for her child's values. All we can do is our best, and part of that is giving our children the freedom to make their own choices. It's not your responsibility to ensure that your child does not grow up to have mainstream values. It's your job to make sure that your child is healthy, well-loved, and has explored the world enough to be able to make his or her own decisions.
Well said!

Mama and co-parent to our beautiful DS (08/08) and our mighty strong DD (04/10) . Life is good.
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#92 of 94 Old 11-12-2009, 05:53 PM
 
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I have a ND child and a gifted child, and my ND son is more thoughtful and kind than my gifted child, who is so often in his own mind. My ND son is exceptionally moral, in that he cares deeply about things like homelessness, war, and the environment. He was a vegetarian until 4 by his own choosing, and still hasn't eaten cow or pig at ~7. His thoughtfulness is his most exceptional quality, whereas my youngest son's intelligence is his most exceptional quality. The idea that giftedness makes a child more thoughtful, moral, or caring is laughable. The people who exploit the most people and squander our earth's resources are highly intelligent.

I have to say if a friend of mine tried to push something I wasn't interested in, I'd be pretty irritated. There's a huge difference between suggesting and pushing.
Ack that's not what I meant at all. I meant that the morality is what I see as gifted and not necessarily the raw academic A+ or else type of dynamic. I meant that I believe a child is more likely to flourish academically if their environment is low on competition or pressure but more one based in respect and morality. But I think that the two go hand in hand. I think that is giftedness, but I think that that degree of morality is rare in the high pressure environment that a lot of kids are exposed to academically. I think that children are allowed to be 'gifted' and that the label becomes less rare in an environment of respect and free exchange of ideas as opposed to the environment where children are seen as 'less than'.

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#93 of 94 Old 11-12-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
I do want to add, though, that I totally disagree that a mother is responsible for her child's values. All we can do is our best, and part of that is giving our children the freedom to make their own choices. It's not your responsibility to ensure that your child does not grow up to have mainstream values. It's your job to make sure that your child is healthy, well-loved, and has explored the world enough to be able to make his or her own decisions.
I think that basic human values are indeed imparted to children by their parents, as evidenced by the fact that children who don't develop a healthy attachment to their parents also fail to develop in socially appropriate ways. This is true of most mammals that live in groups, and it's especially true of human beings. The details might get hazy, but the basics (i.e. killing other people = bad deal) are certainly imparted to children by adults. I think you might be confusing adherence to a particular system of beliefs with the more fundamental aspects of human morality.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#94 of 94 Old 11-12-2009, 11:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eilonwy View Post
I think that basic human values are indeed imparted to children by their parents, as evidenced by the fact that children who don't develop a healthy attachment to their parents also fail to develop in socially appropriate ways. This is true of most mammals that live in groups, and it's especially true of human beings. The details might get hazy, but the basics (i.e. killing other people = bad deal) are certainly imparted to children by adults. I think you might be confusing adherence to a particular system of beliefs with the more fundamental aspects of human morality.
Oh, no, I'm not confusing them. I don't deny that the way in which we raise our children has an impact on the choices they make. Certainly healthy, well-loved, socialized children are likely to grow into adults who adhere to their society's value systems. But it is also certainly true that children who were parented appropriately have grown up into adults who did not choose to adhere to said value systems or even, as you put it, "the more fundamental aspects of human morality." All I am saying is that you are responsible for your own choices, not for your child's.
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