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#1 of 7 Old 11-27-2009, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
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I am looking into starting dd, 9, in music lessons. She has specified an interest in violin over piano. Any tips on how to address perfectionism? What to look for in a program/teacher? Dd is a perfectionist, which frequently turns into frustration. I would like to pro-actively address that rather than waiting until she's been doing it for a week and throws the violin out the window....


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#2 of 7 Old 11-27-2009, 03:46 PM
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We just started violin lessons for my 6 yo perfectionist. I'm not a musician either though, so take my experience with that.

We chose completely private lessons rather than group, with the plan to add an ensemble later once DS gains some confidence in his own abilities. We also wanted DS to have an activity where he controlled the pace completely---unlike school, where he just goes through the motions as he flies ahead of his classmates. (;

So if he works and practices during the week, he moves on. If not, he moves more slowly.

We felt that a big part of success would depend on a match in teaching style. We interviewed a few teachers, and I think we have found a nice match. His teacher gives him a lot of praise for small things, and corrects him very, very subtly, cloaked in praise. And he has longish hair and is very cool/hip, so that helps too. LOL. I'm quite sure that the teacher is also gifted and a perfectionist by personality, so they get each other.
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#3 of 7 Old 11-27-2009, 03:50 PM
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(Ooh! I'm going 2 b in SD next week! My home town, hooray!)

DD has violin lessons at school -- is that an option?
A good teacher should b able 2 address perfectionism w/ U.
If it were me I'd use Yellow pages to start phoning around & chat 2 tutors, ask them about the perfectionism issue. Give a few different teachers trial lessons, C who U & Ur DD get along with.

Is there no one local U could ask?

~ Yank Transplant to Britain and Zookeeper of 4 DC age 15 and under. ~
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#4 of 7 Old 11-27-2009, 04:06 PM
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DD, 10, is in her second year of orchestra (violin) and DS, 8, is in his first year (viola). They have both really enjoyed just doing it through the school. I know most of their friends who are younger, though, go with private lessons.



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#5 of 7 Old 11-27-2009, 04:07 PM
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I think we'll send our children to Suzuki lessons later on.

From what I understand, the younger the student, the more important a better teacher becomes.

Edited to separate my two thoughts. I don't think that better teachers are Suzuki teachers, just that it is important to find the best teacher you can early on.

Mother of two. : 4/05 and 1/07 Wife of one. : 7/01
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#6 of 7 Old 11-27-2009, 04:42 PM
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We tried group Suzuki violin when DS was 5 and it iwas a total bust. I'm also a kid who dropped violin due to perfectionism.

DS is now in private piano, which is a great way to learn music theory, and it's hard to make the piano sound bad so it really works with his perfectionism. He LOVES music theory, it really appeals to the way his mind works. He's also very creative so he likes to make up his own tunes on the piano and it's good that they typically sound pretty good by virtue of being on the piano alone. The funniest part is when he sings along as he's got a real bent to cowboy-tune level histrionics.

Mom to a teenager and a middle schooler.

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#7 of 7 Old 11-28-2009, 02:00 PM
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Dd does Suzuki violin, loves loves loves it. There is a Suzuki mamas tribe that is not hugely active but is a few pages that may be helpful.
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