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TTC #1 My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/329153
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"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."
OP, my concern is really in your post where you describe the picture your dd drew to answer the question. I am a teacher, and while I try my best to avoid asking unclear questions, I am also human and make mistakes, and sometimes I'm required to have students answer certain questions, even if I see that they're horribly constructed. BUT the picture you describe very clearly shows why your dd answered "all." If I were the teacher, I would have looked at the picture, laughed, marked it correct, and written a comment like, "that's an interesting way of looking at things." Maybe not for your kindergarten dd to actually read, but definitely for the parent or just for myself, as a reminder if I looked at the paper later. If I had the time I would have taken it to your dd and asked, "how many ducks are in the water right now?" just to make sure she got the concept (52=3) that the question was supposed to be checking for.
Point being, the one thing I would not have done is mark it incorrect and show it to the parent as a sign that their child could be "stumped." I'm concerned about the quality of those teachers. That sucks, especially since you put her in private school for the very purpose of having better teachers. 
kap728: Yes, it concerns me, too. I would caution that a child like mine would have no trouble reading your comment, but the response you suggested when talking to her IS what I would have expected. I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do about it but wait and see if anything else comes to my attention.
To top it off, her progress report came home with all skills marked "mastered" in reading, writing, and math EXCEPT subtraction. So then I was REALLY wondering if they thought she couldn't subtract. So, I let some time go by and found a fun activity sheet for dd to do with subtraction on it and she told me "I can't do subtraction." Yikes! I totally expect bumps in the road and ups and downs with confidence, but I thought that response was really sad. My plan is to give her some time and throw some things in there for play. She excitedly plays at addition with her little sister. She can absolutely do the singledigit subtraction they're doing in school (annd more). She's been playing with it for years. I KNOW she gets it. I worry that she was wounded by her teachers' comments. She won't tell me what they said to her, but she clearly seemed sensitive about the topic and I haven't wanted to bring it up with her again (I only talked to her about it that one time). 
I was trying to figure out what is expected of 1st graders, and I ran across these word problems on a math worksheet:
"Sam ate 7 cookies and Jane ate 2 cookies. How many more candy canes did Sam eat than Jane?" 
I was trying to figure out what is expected of 1st graders, and I ran across these word problems on a math worksheet:
"Sam ate 7 cookies and Jane ate 2 cookies. How many more candy canes did Sam eat than Jane?" "You have to share you 8 candies with your sister. How many will each of you get?" For the first one of course the answer is how the heck should I know. For the second I'm thinking 7 for me and 1 for my sister. This was 2 question out of 5 that had no "right" answer. 

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