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Old 05-14-2010, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, DD has always been a talker, and at 2 1/2 she's really a talker

Everyone is constantly asking me if she's 4 because A: she's a bit tall and B: I'm guessing because of her verbal skills. I'll post some examples below, but anyway many times I get flustered. I don't want to brag and say "oh she's an amazing talker!" because to me it's normal?

I know that it's hard for her to befriend kids - most 2 years old's cant carry a conversation with her, and the older kids are like "okay baby beat it.." which hurts her feelings. She does have play groups with younger, and some older kids, but in general we don't get anything "out" of them. If we go out with someone who's younger and they are acting age appropriate [like an 18 month old having a tantrum or throwing something..] she asks "mom, why is he/she doing that? Are they upset?" And the older kids sometimes just ignore her.

Here's some conversation "snippets.."
She talks on the phone, my DH was in a video gaming class yesterday and he called and she took the phone and said 'Hi Daddy, we are a mommy daughter lunch at the diner, how is your class? Are you learning new things? We are leaving soon, we need the check.."

Or, she will go up to a little kid on the play ground and say "Hi! I'm Paige, that's my mommy, do you want to go look for bugs together? The other day we saw ants and a larvae in our yard and it was pretty gross!"

She basically, what I'm getting at, can carry a totally comprehensible conversation with anyone.

What I'm asking I guess is: What can I do with this? Does her ability to speak well mean anything? Can I encourage other attributes to come out?

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Old 05-14-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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The best thing I can say is...get used to talking Mama! I am an introvert and like silence so I can reflect on my thoughts--like all day. DS is an extroverted, spirited, likely gifted 3 year old that talks all day. Same thing here, little ones and same age can't reciprocate and olders mostly aren't interested, though older girls (like 10) do baby him sometimes, which he doesn't mind. 5-6 year old girls are the best, they play totally equally--they're really in the same place in many ways (not all--he's got 3 year old experience and 4 year old behavior with 5+ year old verbal skills).

So basically it comes down to me most of the time--we talk all day long.
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Old 05-14-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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About playing with older kids...my oldest son has always played with older kids, even from the early age of 12 months, he was playing with three year olds. He was a late talker, but he is physically ahead in his milestones so he walked and interacted like a three year old. He's never had any issues with being ignored by older kids. DS2 is only 21 months (and doesn't really talk) and runs full stream with his brother's six and seven year old friends with no issues because he can keep up with their antics.

You said your daughter is a talker, but how does she interact? Can she physically play with other kids/older kids, or does she just sit and talk? Is she just looking for conversation? What is she trying to get to with her interactions? Since she's still so young, I think you may need to step in to help guide her along with her social interactions. So for instance, when she's chattering on and on about the bugs, maybe point out to the other child "do you see the bugs as well? do you like bugs? do you have anything to say?" beacuse my 21 month old LOVES bugs, but the only coherent thing you'll get out of him is "bhug? Bhug!"

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Old 05-14-2010, 09:57 PM
 
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Ah, she sounds just like my DD at 2. From 2 to 2.5 ish she developed an awful habit of pushing other kids. It looked totally random to other parents but from her perspective it looked just like this:
DD:"Hi, I'm M. I live around the corner. This park is great. Would you like to play with me?" etc
Other child:"Blank stare."
DD: tries again to engage them verbally
Other child: Either stares blankly again or runs away
DD: "Say something!" Pushes them over
Eventually she got so frustrated she'd push when she got the first blank stare. I had to be right there all the time. Between 2.5 and 3 it phased out a little and I think by about 3.5 we were able to go to a park & know most kids we came across would respond with something other than the blank stare so I could relax a little. Phew.

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Old 05-14-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmamapagan View Post
Ah, she sounds just like my DD at 2. From 2 to 2.5 ish she developed an awful habit of pushing other kids. It looked totally random to other parents but from her perspective it looked just like this:
DD:"Hi, I'm M. I live around the corner. This park is great. Would you like to play with me?" etc
Other child:"Blank stare."
DD: tries again to engage them verbally
Other child: Either stares blankly again or runs away
DD: "Say something!" Pushes them over
Eventually she got so frustrated she'd push when she got the first blank stare. I had to be right there all the time. Between 2.5 and 3 it phased out a little and I think by about 3.5 we were able to go to a park & know most kids we came across would respond with something other than the blank stare so I could relax a little. Phew.
Ditto, ditto, ditto.

He's just past 3 and its less but not gone yet. Yeah, he doesn't even give them a chance, he just sees that stare and gets aggressive. The worst part is he does it to little little ones too (like 18 month olds!!) I am horrified every time!!
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey:
As far as interactions, she's great at that too. She loves to run/chase/play games, and when we have friends over she asks if they want to be with her sand table, or garden, or play fetch with the dogs.

And, when she's babbling on about bugs [she does ha!] she will stop and say "what's your favorite bug, do you like bugs, do you like yucky bugs? do you like to hold bugs.." so it's not just her babbling, she's like genuinely curious.

I think mostly with older kids it's that they view her as a "baby.." although, the little boy next door is 7 and will happily play/talk with her. I should clarify it's not EVERY older kid..today seriously, after I typed this she made friends with some older boys and they were playing for a bit and she had fun.

She also likes adults at the playground, she'll hang with the moms and "chat.." which is funny at times

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Old 05-15-2010, 02:49 AM
 
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My DD (22 months) is advanced verbally too. But, I think she will be an introvert. (Well, she is shy now.) Anyway, it really has not been an issue. But, there was one funny scene on the playground last week.

There was an older girl with an Elmo shirt on. DD kept following her around talking about it and wanting to touch it. It was kind of innapropriate I have to admit. But, MAN! It was funny to watch DD chase this little girl around who wanted nothing to do with her.

DD: I just wanna 'ook at your shirt! Hey you girl. 'Dare' is uh Elmo on your shirt!

<sigh> There is just no denying anymore that she is so far ahead verbally. Yes, she correctly uses "Just" in a sentence. As well as all these other words that quite frankly I can't remember what part of speech they are. Nothing surprises us anymore.

She isn't putting together words. She is putting together sentences. Here I am wondering if she really is using past tense correctly, when most kids her age are barely using any verbs at all.

What does it mean??!

So, yeah, just ing
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Old 05-15-2010, 04:55 AM
 
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Sigh, I remember those days. Except mine went like this, "Not twain! tr, tr, train. You forgot the r sound!"

It does get better. I found that girls that are a few years older love to "play" with the "baby" and don't mind all that talking .

Now at 5, he is better able to adjust his language to his playmates.

What does it all mean? Well, lets just say that you may get to know my family and our quirks pretty well, from reading about them here. Does this mean your children are profoundly gifted? You won't know for a few years yet, so try to just love your child and have a good time.

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Old 05-15-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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My older dd was very ahead verbally like that too, and was also very tall, and we had the same thing. The hard part is that she was slow to potty train, and so adults would make comments about her still being in diapers in a bad way. Or she'd have a very typical 2-year-old tantrum, and people would make a comment like it was a 4- or 5-year-old having the tantrum.
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Old 05-15-2010, 09:18 PM
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Yeah, DD will still correct other kids of all ages, too. But I remember that time when she was not quite 2 and people assumed she was 3, and soon after that, 4... she's tall and verbal and mature. Some older kids are great about playing with her, but we still get the blank stares a lot. It's like her mission in life to say hi and strike up conversations with everyone she passes. Most adults are welcoming, but some of THEM do the blank stare, too, which is pretty sad .
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:49 AM
 
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My DD has always been highly verbal but she is also fairly introverted. If she had run into one of these extroverts at that age, she would have just stared at them. Thus, you'd think she was non verbal or at least age appropriate verbal skills. Then, later, with us, she would have gone on and on about how this kid she didn't know just started talking to her and then pushing her, etc. and all the different ways that was wrong, unkind, etc. She was very tuned into all the social injustices of the playground!

She has always been a very verbal, rule-driven kid. But, most people (even today at 5.5) outside of our family and teeny tiny close knit group of friends have absolutely no clue what she is really like--even people she sees weekly. She has let only a very small group of people into her inner circle. She clearly has no need to impress anyone!

In some ways it has made it easier in the typical social situation with strangers, but it was really difficult for the brief period she was in school and no one had a clue what she was like.

Now she definitely prefers to hang out with girls who are 1-3 years older, who she sees regularly because of homeschooling, and luckily they all now welcome her eagerly. The age differences really do become much less important as they get older.

However, she is somewhat rude to kids her own age who act age appropriately--mostly she just flat out ignores them so perhaps only I realize how she is behaving and others just think it's her introverted nature. But, we work on social/friend issues a lot behind the scenes with her.

Holli
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Old 05-16-2010, 02:58 AM
 
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Sounds like my dd. She gets scared of children her own age though, and younger, that can not hold a conversation like she does. She's also very topic specific, so she has recently made up her own social rules, and if they do not follow her lead...than she refuses to play with the kids, and wants to go home. This, I thought, was a great thing, but I'm a bit worried about when it is time for school. Her friends are older, the youngest being 6. She will follow their lead sometimes because they are bigger lol. Just enjoy it mama..that's the only advice, and start early, like I wish I did, with explaining that kids that do not talk like her are not scary!

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Old 05-17-2010, 12:59 AM
 
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It will get easier. Two is a hard age for this because kids can practically be from different planets in terms of what they can say--the differences can be so huge. It starts getting better in the 3s, and especially the 4s and beyond. DD has a friend we've know since babyhood--at two he was totally nonverbal (he was dxed with apraxia, actually) and she was speaking in paragraphs and lecturing random adults on rules and plant names, and they could hardly have seemed more different. Now they're both 6, and they are good buddies who talk happily along together. I'm not trying to say the difference vanish, but just know that the other kids WILL start to talk more (obviously) and your child will be able to communicate with peers better.

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Old 05-17-2010, 06:22 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmamapagan View Post
Ah, she sounds just like my DD at 2. From 2 to 2.5 ish she developed an awful habit of pushing other kids. It looked totally random to other parents but from her perspective it looked just like this:
DD:"Hi, I'm M. I live around the corner. This park is great. Would you like to play with me?" etc
Other child:"Blank stare."
DD: tries again to engage them verbally
Other child: Either stares blankly again or runs away
DD: "Say something!" Pushes them over
Eventually she got so frustrated she'd push when she got the first blank stare. I had to be right there all the time. Between 2.5 and 3 it phased out a little and I think by about 3.5 we were able to go to a park & know most kids we came across would respond with something other than the blank stare so I could relax a little. Phew.

I am so glad we were not alone!

Hang in there. it really does get better at three - the other kids will be able to hold a conversation, and your kid will learn not to be quite so in-your-face with the stuff she's interested in. It doesn't mean they level out - the other three-year-old kids will not be discussing the Eyafjallajökull eruption (let alone be able to pronounce it) or the varying dangers of Mount Vesuvius and Etna with him but they will happily play volcano eruption together with the garden hose buried in the sandbox.

Meanwhile, like PPs I recommend cultivating friendships with the moms of older girls who are very verbal themselves and don't mind babying a younger kid a bit. 3 and 5 or 6 works very well for us.

MeDH DS1 10/06 DD 08/10 DS2 10/12with SB and
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