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#31 of 33 Old 06-09-2010, 09:16 PM
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So VisionaryMom, nothing you wrote seemed offensive to me in the slightest.

It really is hard to talk about children with other parents. It is sometimes very hard to avoid competitive sounding stuff. I think that your response to the other mom was awesome. I also agree that asking her for more information about the skipping process might be useful. It might be tricky to word it so that she doesn't take offense, but maybe something along the lines of: "Oh that's great! Did she have to take any particular test or evaluation in order for them to bring that up?" There are people who will be fussy and defensive if they aren't sure that you are sincere, that's where a big smile helps.

I also know what you are talking about with some younger mothers feeling like they need to kind of 'prove' that they are doing a good job. Not all younger mothers, of course, but it does happen. I have several friends who had their kids very young and they have talked to me about feeling that way. (My friends were 15 and 16 respectively.) I think they are both fantastic mothers so I don't think they need to prove anything, but they feel they do. It's a thing. You aren't terrible for noticing it.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#32 of 33 Old 06-09-2010, 11:50 PM
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Originally Posted by connieculkins View Post
The feeling I get from almost all parents of gifted/smart/advanced kids is that they really believe that their kid is the most gifted around. Now chances are that when they chit-chat with another mother their kid will be brighter than the other mother's child and so they make an assumption. But what happens when you get two moms together who both have smart kids and both assume that their child is the more gifted of the two? The answer is a feeling of competition in an arena in which they are used to not having to compete in.
This has never been my experience either. Your experience with giftedness seems to have been rather strongly associated with parental competitiveness. I wonder if this says more about the social-cultural milieu you live in than about giftedness. I honestly can only think of once or twice in my entire experience as a parent (and my eldest is 16 now) when I've been subjected to anything with even a whiff of parental competitiveness.


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#33 of 33 Old 06-10-2010, 05:46 AM
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HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
Founder of Houston Birth Alternatives: Be Informed, Encouraged, Supported birth support group and aspiring midwife.

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