Problems at school , and is this considered gifted ? Please help !! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 10-05-2011, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a 6.5 years old son , he started his 1st grade in august and ever since school started , he's been in trouble a lot . Probably almost everyday , me and his teacher have been in contact , and plus he brings home notes , or she would email me with everything that he did at school . He would interrupt , he would blurts out answer when the question isn't done yet , he would complain to his teacher that the assignments are too easy , he would squirms in his seat , etc . So 2 weeks later i got called to have a meeting with his teacher and principal , turned out , according to them , our son is a high student ability ( or gifted i guess .. ) , and that explains his behaviour at school .

 

My son told me many many times that he is very bored in the classroom , he was tested for reading skill , back in Kindergarten , his reading skill is at 3rd grade level and now that he's in 1st grade ,  his reading skill has gone up to 5th grade level , not only reading , he also is pretty advanced in math . For example , he tells me he knows how to count by 3,4,5 all the way to 10 .. which is great i thought . Then out of curiosity i asked him , " since you know how to count by 3 or 4 or 6 .. what is 3x5 ?? " he would give me the right answer , and i was amazed , so i asked again .. what is 9x3 ? he would tell me it's 27 . I haven't taught him multiplication , and the school obviously hasn't taught him this either , and when i asked how did you figure this out ? he said he just figure it out when he count by 2,3,4... 10 .. that this is how to multiply .

 

Another example , when the teacher asked the student to draw or write anything that they consider a blessing , the rest of the class would draw or write family , house , apples , chicken .. but my son was busy drawing ... and when we saw it ( we happened to be in the classroom visiting that time ) , he drew EARTH , he said earth is a blessing , when asked why did he choose to draw earth ? He said " without earth where would we be ? we can't live in space , we won't survive living in space "

 

On another occasion he would ask about how do we put the money so that we can use credit card to buy things ? Stuff like that . His grades are awesome at school , he's getting A's and A+'s ..

 

So my question is .. is he gifted ?? And does gifted kids tend to have problems at school ( doesn't behave because they're bored ?? ) if so , what should i do ??

 

Thank  you for your help !

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#2 of 13 Old 10-05-2011, 07:42 PM
 
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Yes, it sounds like he is gifted. And yes, it definitely can cause boredom problems at school. I got in trouble later on in middle and high school because I was bored as heck. Has the school offered any accommodations like allowing him to work on a higher level curriculum so that he isn't bored?

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#3 of 13 Old 10-05-2011, 07:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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During our meeting , the school said that he will be given a different curriculum , because 1st grade curriculum doesn't suit him . But now it's october already and he's only taken out 45 minutes 3 days a week for an advanced math ( which is the same thing as the 1st grade except it's a little challenging , that's how his teacher put it )

 

Like i said it's october already and he's still coming home with notes from his teacher , because all the troubles he has .. but at home he keeps telling me he's bored and he wonders how things going to be when things get harder , he can't wait for that , that's what he said .

 

Because of his behaviour problem ( maybe due to boredom ) , he comes home everyday basically with warnings , or sometimes lost recess because of it . I don't think he has adhd because he's not like that at home , his teacher said my son cannot focus at school , and doesn't seem like paying attention , but during that bible lesson when i paid a visit to his class , he did look like he wasn't paying attention at all , but when i asked him about the story , he got everything right .

 

I am afraid that they might think he should be checked for adhd .. but at home , he doesn't show all the adhd sign .. he can have a quiet time , he reads his book for 30 minutes or so and when he's into something he's really focused , he can build his 600 lego pieces on his own quietly .

 

So i don't know what's the deal or how to deal with the school , i don't want them to think he's a trouble maker while he's actually very smart .

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#4 of 13 Old 10-06-2011, 06:35 AM
 
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A lot in your post resonates!  FWIW, there's a difference between high ability and gifted.  Have you had or considered any testing?

 

It sounds like there are a few pieces here.  Your ds needs appropriate challenges in school, and it seems like there is an attempt to meet them through the pull out program.  It also sounds like he is young, and it's difficult for him to sustain the attention and maintain behavior that works well in the classroom situation.  This might be because he is young, he's a little boy, he's not challenged, or he has attentional issues, or a combination of all of these.

 

I would encourage you not to be afraid of exploring whether issues related to attention or control ADD/ADHD are an issue for your ds.  Have you heard the term 2E?  If you search this forum, you'll find some good info on being gifted, with challenges.  It is not uncommon.  maturity also plays a big role, as does a good fit with the environment and teachers.  It's also worth noting that kids w/ADD and ADHD can be very focused, can look different at home, etc.  The demands of school are very different from the demands of home.

 

If I were in your shoes I would look into requesting an eval from the school.  I'm not sure what/or if there is a process where you are?  I would want a good read on abilities, strengthts and challenges in order to advocate for the best learning situation.  It would concern me if a teacher said that a child didn't "like" to pay attention--it may not be within your son's control.  It's worth exploring this more because he should not be punished for what he's not in control of. Taking away recess is counter productive on so many levels!

 

My ds had some similar issues at that age.  He could look like he wasn't paying attention at all to a lesson and then ace the test, or be able to repeat the concepts word for word.  Your ds sounds like he is compensating with strong auditory skills.

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#5 of 13 Old 10-06-2011, 08:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Karne ,

 

What is the difference between high ability and gifted then ? I've tried to look about this online before but most of them said high ability is just another term of gifted , just some states use the term high ability and some other uses the term gifted .

 

I have also looked into the adhd thing , and i even joined the adhd forum and posted pretty much about the same story about my son , most parents of adhd children said that symptoms does not only happen in school , they said it should happen in every aspect of life , home , school , church , etc .. So that's why i decided to ask parents in this forum . But i am paying attention to everything , in fact i am seeing his pediatrician later on in the afternoon , to see what she has to say about our son .

 

 

 

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#6 of 13 Old 10-06-2011, 08:41 AM
 
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I'm not an expert on high ability/vs gifted, but testing will bear out gifted potential...you can't make that happen through hard work.  High ability can be accomplished, sometimes, through hard work and dedication to task-perhaps this is more high achievement, but that's basically the difference I'm trying to describe, and probably not doing a good job of it. In a learning situation it may not be something you would necessarily notice unless a child needed to test into a program.

 

In terms of the ADHD piece, first let me say that your ds is very young, and first grade, with all that involves, is a big transition year.  However, it is a myth that kids with adhd/add have the same symptoms at home versus other areas of their lives.  It's also a myth that kids w/adhd can't focus, or aren't successful in certain areas of their lives.  I encourage you to visit the special needs forum for more information if you are interested.  It's also old school, but still common to hear teachers say that kids need to work harder to focus, or need to want to pay attention.  There are complex neurological issues that are at play in adhd, but it's important for the child to understand that sometimes "wanting" to focus or behave  does not mean that they can make that happen on their own.

 

Again, I think your ds is very young, and needs to have his needs understood and met.

 

 

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#7 of 13 Old 10-06-2011, 10:00 AM
 
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I would definitely agree with an assessment. If you aren't comfortable going off just what the school says, ask your pediatrician for assessment. You can also ask for an individual education plan meeting with the school to discuss what other accommodations can be made. If he's testing into another grade level of math, keeping him in 1st grade math is likely to keep him bored as well. We home school through a virtual academy, and the teacher said to review the kindergarten math to see what she's missing. After that, we can go to 1st grade math. I realize that classroom settings are different, but I personally worked ahead of my grade level in school.

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#8 of 13 Old 10-06-2011, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cameragirl View Post

I would definitely agree with an assessment. If you aren't comfortable going off just what the school says, ask your pediatrician for assessment. You can also ask for an individual education plan meeting with the school to discuss what other accommodations can be made. If he's testing into another grade level of math, keeping him in 1st grade math is likely to keep him bored as well. We home school through a virtual academy, and the teacher said to review the kindergarten math to see what she's missing. After that, we can go to 1st grade math. I realize that classroom settings are different, but I personally worked ahead of my grade level in school.


Hi , actually we took our son to his pediatrician , they gave us the forms for us and the teacher to fill out , we brought it there earlier . And our pediatrician does not see any symptoms ADHD in our son , and she would not give any medication for him . Instead she agrees that our son is gifted , we bought a book that was made by our son , he wrote and drew a story , and we just typed it and scanned the pictures for him to be made a short book , and also seeing our son doing multiplication and reading very well beyond his grade , she suggests that we should ask our son to skip grade . I don't think the school would do that , but she said that it worth a try , and even just moving him in a 2nd grade for a month or so , if it does not work then he can go back to 1st grade again .

 

But how am i supposed to brng this up to the pincipal or teacher without offending them ?? Thank you for your suggestion , i am going to call the school tomorrow to set an appointment to see any other options that they can provide , instead of just pulling him out the class for 45 minutes 3 times a week , i think my son needs more than just 3x45 minutes a week ! We're paying for it since he goes to private school too !!

 

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#9 of 13 Old 10-06-2011, 09:59 PM
 
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I don't think it would be offensive if you politely but firmly advocate for your son. They should be used to dealing with things like this. Teachers do see things that parents may not, but they aren't doctors. (I have several in the family, and they'll readily admit this.) I would just ask for a meeting to go over any possible options for keeping DS engaged and out of trouble in the classroom. If you haven't already, I would let them know what your pediatrician said. If you ask, the pediatrician can write a letter going over his opinion. (They may charge - in our area some charge $20 or so for paperwork like this.)

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#10 of 13 Old 10-07-2011, 04:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cameragirl View Post

I don't think it would be offensive if you politely but firmly advocate for your son. They should be used to dealing with things like this. Teachers do see things that parents may not, but they aren't doctors. (I have several in the family, and they'll readily admit this.) I would just ask for a meeting to go over any possible options for keeping DS engaged and out of trouble in the classroom. If you haven't already, I would let them know what your pediatrician said. If you ask, the pediatrician can write a letter going over his opinion. (They may charge - in our area some charge $20 or so for paperwork like this.)


Actually the pediatrician already sent us home yesterday with a letter that she signed . So yes , i am going to request a conference , that way we can talk what options we have for our son . Thanks !!

 

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#11 of 13 Old 10-07-2011, 08:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jaylivg View Post

Hi , actually we took our son to his pediatrician , they gave us the forms for us and the teacher to fill out , we brought it there earlier . And our pediatrician does not see any symptoms ADHD in our son , and she would not give any medication for him . Instead she agrees that our son is gifted , we bought a book that was made by our son , he wrote and drew a story , and we just typed it and scanned the pictures for him to be made a short book , and also seeing our son doing multiplication and reading very well beyond his grade , she suggests that we should ask our son to skip grade . I don't think the school would do that , but she said that it worth a try , and even just moving him in a 2nd grade for a month or so , if it does not work then he can go back to 1st grade again .

 

But how am i supposed to brng this up to the pincipal or teacher without offending them ?? Thank you for your suggestion , i am going to call the school tomorrow to set an appointment to see any other options that they can provide , instead of just pulling him out the class for 45 minutes 3 times a week , i think my son needs more than just 3x45 minutes a week ! We're paying for it since he goes to private school too !!

 


It sounds like you might have been given the Connors Rating Scale, which is a set of forms for both you and the school to fill out.  The pedi will score the forms and compare where you ds is functioning at home with his school functioning.  I have to say that it's unusual for a pedi to say that a child does or doesn't have add/adhd or any other issue before doing an eval., or deferring to a neuro psych eval done by a PhD or other qualified clinicians.

 

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#12 of 13 Old 10-09-2011, 04:13 AM
 
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FWIW your son's reading and math levels sound similar to my son's, who is 6.5 also.  We did some preliminary type testing when he was 4 and he tested in the gifted range, but just.

 

My son is homeschooled, but if I had to place him in school I would place him in 2nd grade.  If your son is small for age, you might want to consider that there will be redshirted boys two years older if you accellerate him.  I don't think this is a reason to hold back, but I do think it's a reason to sign up for kiddie Krav Maga.

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#13 of 13 Old 10-14-2011, 09:19 PM
 
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the bit about your son getting in trouble a lot at school, etc. and his ability really resonated with me and my oldest son.

 

 

He was finally tested in 3rd grade and tested HG.  He is in a public Montessori, which does help some, but is not a panacea.  His teacher asked me yesterday to come in this morning to discuss "his attitude" and I totally freaked out!  I have had some terrible meetings with teachers over the years, so I know how bad they can get.

 

He is now in 5th grade and doing well, but I still find myself advocating for him.  Because there isn't one solution for all gifted kids, largely due to asynchronous development.


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