Yes , we do rewards ,which is not working , we do punishments , which is not working either when he's misbehave at school . We used to make him write as a punishment , but then i thought that wouldn't be a good thing , cos then he would grow to hate writings .. So we tried rewarding him , i have a star system , when he's doing well excellent behaviour at school then he gets 2 stars , and when he reaches 5 stars he can get something a toy for example or a book whatever , and his long term goal is to get DS , so we set up 50 stars , when he reaches 50 stars then he gets a DS . I am not trying to set my goal for him to excellent everyday at school , i know it's kinda impossible for now , so when he only gets 1 warning , moving his bee only once i still give him 1 star , but when he gets 2 warnings ( losing 5 minutes recess ) i would not reward him anything . He doesn't get to play games or watch tv either , so on the days where he gets yellow or red ( losing all recess ), all he can do at home would be just reading or drawing or writing stories .. whatever between those 3 activities . At school his teacher is working on self monitoring system , such as raising hands before saying anything , keeping handa and feet to himself , he does well when she's doing 1 behaviour / week , but when she started doing 3-4 behaviours at a time per week , it's not working so well . He gets rewards when he reaches his behaviour goals .
Now the teacher said if he's being disruptive in class , talking too much etc , she would have to move him to the class next door , he would still be doing the same work , but he will have to be moved ,as his punishment / time out . She's only been doing this 2 times and he hates it . His teacher said maybe right now since all the rewards isn't working , maybe she's going to go the other way , the negative enforcement . He would be embarrass having to sit in the other classroom as his time out , but then again to me , he's going to be called trouble maker and bad kid by everybody .
As far as letting him working on something else after he's done with his job , i asked his teacher if she wouldn't mind if i send him to school with a book that he could work on while waiting . She said she doesn't mind . I really don't mind buying him books that he needs , and i told her that , so i bought the book for him and i will be sending the book with him , so when he gets free time instead of bugging other kids and being disruptive , i hope he can work on it .
You are right about losing the time , that's how i feel , he already spent almost 2 months not gaining anything from school . I am working with him at home still, working on some challenging stuff . So that his ability doesn't stop right here , i want him to progress , as long as he is willing and able to learn new stuff .. why should i stop him from doing that . Even if it means i have to do it with him at home , i really don't mind . I just wish the school would do something quick .. now , the school said nov 1st , my son can start going to the 2nd grade reading class , i guess it's because nov 1st is the start of 2nd quarter . Now we have to wait 2 more weeks .. wait and see .. again ..
first you really don't know what is causing the "issues" but you do know the school is not doing enough at this point
push for a meeting and go in armed and as prepared as you can be, make lists and go over it decide what you see as issues and what they see, what you want to see and how best to make it happen, and bring what ever you have from you ped so that they just don't dismiss all of this and just say it's all ADHD
try and talk with the kindergarden teacher, was there disruptive behavior? what are her thoughts?
is there another 1st grade class at the school? another teacher?
I just emailed his kindergarten teacher this morning , but i haven't go any reply yet .
There are 2 other 1st grade classes .
Another thing .. it's like a bad day everyday , my son feels the same way , from losing recess for 5 minutes or losing the whole recess altogether . This happens at school , not to mention being punished at home from that too . I am tired just to get mad at him everyday too because of his behaviour at school and i am sure he feels the same way . What should i do ?? Should i just let it go ? but if i let go , doesn't it mean like i am saying it's okay to behave that way at school ??
The fact that consequences aren't working indicates that this is not a small problem for him. Poor guy.
I would talk to the kindie teacher. Try to figure out what variables are different from last year to this year - how much seat work, how much free play/choosing time, how much writing, how much differentiated instruction, how much art etc etc etc. Talk to this year's teacher about how the class is run to explore these differences. If you come away from the kindie teacher with a strong sense that this really is different behaviour (as opposed to just louder/busier, but really the same behaviour), go to this year's teacher with that information. If she isn't full of great, dynamic ideas, go to the principal and make your case.
Mom to a teenager and a middle schooler.
Your son sounds just like me at around that age, until I skipped a grade. I would finish all my work in no time and then talk loudly with (to) my friends. It was definitely a boredom issue.
Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010
So i take after you skipped grade , you behaved a lot better , right ?