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#1 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 08:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you have your gifted child tested for his/her IQ ?? and if so , what's your reason for doing this ?? And does getting the IQ test done help your child at school ? ( getting the educations that suits him ) Would the school be more co-operate with you in getting him what he needs ??

 

 

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#2 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 09:11 AM
 
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I guess this very much depends on your school.  Our school will offer higher level reading or math work and some enrichment for projects based on higher achievement with no IQ test requirement, so we didn't bother with IQ testing for our DD (who I am certain is gifted).  My 2E child was tested for learning disabilities, and we found out about the giftedness as a matter of course.  Many other places (especially in the US, from what I see in this forum) require formal IQ testing in order to provide any adaptations in terms of enrichment or above grade level work in a subject.  If I was in that situation, I might decide differently and test.


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#3 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 09:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The school where my son goes now is a private school , they're the one who informed us that our son is gifted , and they put him in a pull out program 3 times a week for 45 minutes each for math ( supposed to be the same 1st grader math except it's a little challenging ) , and although his reading skill is at 5th grade level , they didn't do anything about it at all . Said they were going to give a different curriculum for him , because of his behaviour , maybe he was bored , not challenged enough , but it's been over 2.5 months and i really don't think 3x45 minutes is enough to accomodate his skills and abilities .

 

Just few days ago we had a meeting , and they decided that my son probably should go to 2nd grade reading class , and still be in the pull out program . Okay at least it's something .. but the problem is , that his behaviour at school isn't the greatest either , he would interrupts , make jokes ,  talks a lot , where all his friends would pay attention to him and they don't get their job done , while my son got his job done while talking and explaining to the rest of the class . So he's considered bothering the class , it doesn't effect his grades , but it effects other children in the classroom trying to learn .

 

He was also tested for adhd , but the doctor said he's not adhd . So my questions is .. should i have him tested for his IQ score , and maybe that way the school will do more .. than just pull out program 3x45 , and going to 2nd grader for reading class . He's very bright , but everybody probably think he's a trouble maker , and nobody will know that he's very smart .

 

 

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Originally Posted by jaylivg View Post

Do you have your gifted child tested for his/her IQ ?? and if so , what's your reason for doing this ?? And does getting the IQ test done help your child at school ? ( getting the educations that suits him ) Would the school be more co-operate with you in getting him what he needs ??

 

 


 

It's a good question and a common topic of discussion. Many parents will have their children assessed in order to get "proof" for schools, either for classroom/school accommodations or to get admitted to special programs. It isn't always necessary though. It wasn't in our case. Teachers accommodated my dc before they were assessed and had an "official" gifted identification. I think that school experiences will vary a great deal, depending on the philosophy and attitudes of the schools and teachers. Some are better than others about accommodating students, whether there are official test results or not. 

 

Eventually, my dc were assessed at a point when we considered whether to send them to a gifted program, so I would agree that getting an assessment helped them at school. It was one of the criteria (the main one, in fact) for admission to the program. We also would have found the information helpful, even if we hadn't opted for the gifted program.  

 

Unfortunately, some schools will not co-operate, even in the face of a gifted IQ test. They will have all sorts of excuses. In those situations, if the parents want to pursue the issue, then a gifted identification provides some good ammunition when parents advocate for their child.

 

If you are considering assessment, then it's a good idea to think about the purpose of testing. Most often, testing is needed to access special school programs. However, if you have questions about how your child learns and processes information, unusual or atypical learning styles, etc., then an assessment can help with those questions or concerns, even if you don't have any specific educational programs in mind. 

 

 

 

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#5 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 09:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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PS :

 

when i asked the school if my son needs to be tested , they said , no , because the score will only confirming things that they already knew about my son . And usually it wouldn't help with anything , except if the child has a learning disabilities then , the iq test would help . But they said , for gifted child , it's not going to do anything .

 

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Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

It's a good question and a common topic of discussion. Many parents will have their children assessed in order to get "proof" for schools, either for classroom/school accommodations or to get admitted to special programs. It isn't always necessary though. It wasn't in our case. Teachers accommodated my dc before they were assessed and had an "official" gifted identification. I think that school experiences will vary a great deal, depending on the philosophy and attitudes of the schools and teachers. Some are better than others about accommodating students, whether there are official test results or not. 

 

Eventually, my dc were assessed at a point when we considered whether to send them to a gifted program, so I would agree that getting an assessment helped them at school. It was one of the criteria (the main one, in fact) for admission to the program. We also would have found the information helpful, even if we hadn't opted for the gifted program.  

 

Unfortunately, some schools will not co-operate, even in the face of a gifted IQ test. They will have all sorts of excuses. In those situations, if the parents want to pursue the issue, then a gifted identification provides some good ammunition when parents advocate for their child.

 

If you are considering assessment, then it's a good idea to think about the purpose of testing. Most often, testing is needed to access special school programs. However, if you have questions about how your child learns and processes information, unusual or atypical learning styles, etc., then an assessment can help with those questions or concerns, even if you don't have any specific educational programs in mind. 

 

 

 


Our son goes to a private school , and i don't really think they have a special class for gifted children . They do however do the pull out program for more advanced students , like i mentioned in the earlier post .

 

The thing i am concerned about is about his behaviour , although he is very bright , but he disrupts the class , and we're trying to figure out , is it because he's bored , maybe because it's not challenged enough for him . He's in 1st grade , and keeps complaining he knows this why should he keep doing it over and over again . I wonder if i should get him tested so that maybe he's allowed to skip grade .. but i am not sure either if that's such a good idea .. :( 

 

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The thing i am concerned about is about his behaviour , although he is very bright , but he disrupts the class , and we're trying to figure out , is it because he's bored , maybe because it's not challenged enough for him .

before you spend the money find out IF the school will even do anything with it

 

they might careless what he tests at and won't really move him and might not get anyplace

 

if they don't want to do testing-are the really going to do anything if you do?


 

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Originally Posted by jaylivg View Post

The school where my son goes now is a private school , they're the one who informed us that our son is gifted , and they put him in a pull out program 3 times a week for 45 minutes each for math ( supposed to be the same 1st grader math except it's a little challenging ) , and although his reading skill is at 5th grade level , they didn't do anything about it at all . Said they were going to give a different curriculum for him , because of his behaviour , maybe he was bored , not challenged enough , but it's been over 2.5 months and i really don't think 3x45 minutes is enough to accomodate his skills and abilities .

 

Just few days ago we had a meeting , and they decided that my son probably should go to 2nd grade reading class , and still be in the pull out program . Okay at least it's something .. but the problem is , that his behaviour at school isn't the greatest either , he would interrupts , make jokes ,  talks a lot , where all his friends would pay attention to him and they don't get their job done , while my son got his job done while talking and explaining to the rest of the class . So he's considered bothering the class , it doesn't effect his grades , but it effects other children in the classroom trying to learn .

 

He was also tested for adhd , but the doctor said he's not adhd . So my questions is .. should i have him tested for his IQ score , and maybe that way the school will do more .. than just pull out program 3x45 , and going to 2nd grader for reading class . He's very bright , but everybody probably think he's a trouble maker , and nobody will know that he's very smart .

 

 


Well, it sounds like the school recognizes that he's gifted and is willing to accommodate, so that's good news. But the specific accommodations need to be refined, and it can be a struggle to find the right kind of accommodations. Especially when there's such a gap between academic ability and emotional/social maturity. He may benefit from some social skills coaching, aside from any academic accommodations he gets. 

 

Reviewing and revising the curriculum is a good idea, but I'd probably discuss it with the school first before testing since they already seem to be on board with the concept of giving him more challenging work. I'd also request some accommodations to occupy him when he finishes his work early - possibly he could do a special project or go to a work station or get some library time. Cluster grouping with a few other bright and gifted students would probably be helpful, so he has a few peers to work with.

 

 

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#9 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 09:49 AM
 
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Ack, I keep cross-posting with you, sorry. I hope this all makes sense. 

 


 

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Our son goes to a private school , and i don't really think they have a special class for gifted children . They do however do the pull out program for more advanced students , like i mentioned in the earlier post .

 

The thing i am concerned about is about his behaviour , although he is very bright , but he disrupts the class , and we're trying to figure out , is it because he's bored , maybe because it's not challenged enough for him . He's in 1st grade , and keeps complaining he knows this why should he keep doing it over and over again . I wonder if i should get him tested so that maybe he's allowed to skip grade .. but i am not sure either if that's such a good idea .. :( 

 

 

 

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before you spend the money find out IF the school will even do anything with it

 

they might careless what he tests at and won't really move him and might not get anyplace

 

if they don't want to do testing-are the really going to do anything if you do?


 

Good advice to find out first what the school will do with the results of testing, particularly since they already acknowledge he's gifted. The school may have a policy against grade skipping. I suspect that concerns about his behaviour would weigh against him, even if the school has skipped other students. 

 

 

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#10 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 09:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by serenbat View Post

 

 

before you spend the money find out IF the school will even do anything with it

 

they might careless what he tests at and won't really move him and might not get anyplace

 

if they don't want to do testing-are the really going to do anything if you do?



I did ask when we had the meeting if he needs to be tested , they said no ..

 

From what i am sensing , they're willing to do something with him , in fact i thought the principal was very supportive about my son . We're trying to figure out about his behaviour , early september , only 2 weeks after school started , the school had a meeting with us , and said they would give him a different curriculum , maybe it'll change his behaviour , but from what i see nothing much was done , only the pull out program for  3 times 45 minutes , and the majority time would still be spent in the regular class ,that would make up 95% of the time at school just bring in the regular class . So they said starts in nov 1st , they will let my son go to 2nd grade reading class ..

 

Maybe they can do something , maybe let him go to 2nd grade for math on top of reading too , if i get him tested ? I really don't mind getting him tested as long as the school will help his education . So far it seems like i am spending money by paying private school which is not that cheap either , and my son coming home from school saying he doesn't learn anything new .. Everytime i ask what did you learn , he would say oh the regular stuff .. he said this back in kindergarten too , but it's my fault i didn't sense it that he might just be bored learning things he already knew !!

 

Back in kindergarten he wasn't in so much trouble like he is right now in 1st grade .. what am i going to do with him . At home he does very well , but at school although his grades are excellent , but his behaviour is just unacceptable .. and that becomes a problem . I hate getting mad at him at the things he does at school such as not keeping hands to himself , or talking .. stuff like that ..

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Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

Ack, I keep cross-posting with you, sorry. I hope this all makes sense. 

 

 

 

 

 

Good advice to find out first what the school will do with the results of testing, particularly since they already acknowledge he's gifted. The school may have a policy against grade skipping. I suspect that concerns about his behaviour would weigh against him, even if the school has skipped other students. 

 

 



His pediatrician where i took him for adhd test , suggested that the school do the grade skipping . But when we had the meeting few days ago , the school didn't mention about grade skipping and at that time , i thought i would just wait see what options they have for my son . Not once they mentioned about grade skipping .. and who knows maybe you're right , maybe it's because of my son's behaviour . I feel it might be the biggest reason ..

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Maybe they can do something , maybe let him go to 2nd grade for math on top of reading too , if i get him tested ?

 

 

if they know (and won't test) are they willing prior to you spending the money for something they say they already know?

 

if the behavior is the issue and it's not improving with what they are doing are they offering you anything else now?

 

I would ask right out if they will do a grade skip or not--some are willing others flat out won't no matter what he tests at

 

can they see an issue with his "behavior" and being bored? already knowing the work?

 

there is a vast difference between classroom behavior that is expected and being behind "socially" that would prevent him from being in another grade

 

also if he is tested and say is at a much higher grade level (not just IQ) and is skipped, are the willing to do additional pull outs?

 

ask for another meeting and get answers to all your questions prior to doing testing on your own, you might feel better if you can get more clear answers from the school as to long term needs 

 

IMO the "behavior" doesn't seem social to me--just boredom for the most part


 

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Originally Posted by serenbat View Post

 

 

 

 

if they know (and won't test) are they willing prior to you spending the money for something they say they already know?

 

if the behavior is the issue and it's not improving with what they are doing are they offering you anything else now?

 

I would ask right out if they will do a grade skip or not--some are willing others flat out won't no matter what he tests at

 

can they see an issue with his "behavior" and being bored? already knowing the work?

 

there is a vast difference between classroom behavior that is expected and being behind "socially" that would prevent him from being in another grade

 

also if he is tested and say is at a much higher grade level (not just IQ) and is skipped, are the willing to do additional pull outs?

 

ask for another meeting and get answers to all your questions prior to doing testing on your own, you might feel better if you can get more clear answers from the school as to long term needs 

 

IMO the "behavior" doesn't seem social to me--just boredom for the most part


Thank you so much for your advice !!! i will ask for another meeting and i am going to write down what you told me to ask :) Thanks again , really appreciate it !!

 

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#14 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jaylivg View Post

PS :

 

when i asked the school if my son needs to be tested , they said , no , because the score will only confirming things that they already knew about my son . And usually it wouldn't help with anything , except if the child has a learning disabilities then , the iq test would help . But they said , for gifted child , it's not going to do anything .

 


The bolded sounds very ignorant on the part of the school.  There's something known as levels of giftedness, and knowing where a child falls on this continuum can inform decision making.  Also, gifted kids can have learning differences, and a full psych ed (including IQ and achievement tests) may illustrate this.

 

What testing did the pediatrician do?

 

IMO, a child's success in school relates to many variables, including:

  • orientation of the school (ie montessori doesn't work for all kids; rigid, lock-step academics doesn't work for some kids, etc)
  • skills and biases of the individual teacher
  • child temperament
  • child's level of giftedness
  • any learning differences
  • any uncommon features of learning style
  • executive functioning
  • maturity
  • flexibility

 

Have you looked at other schooling options?

 

If your son is very, very gifted, minor shifts in curriculum may not be sufficient.  On the other hand, there may be something else going on besides giftedness that leads to the behaviour. 

 

It also makes sense that grade 1 might be harder for him to behave/comply in than kindergarten was if there's more seat work and formal academics.

 


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#15 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 10:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The bolded sounds very ignorant on the part of the school.  There's something known as levels of giftedness, and knowing where a child falls on this continuum can inform decision making.  Also, gifted kids can have learning differences, and a full psych ed (including IQ and achievement tests) may illustrate this.

 

What testing did the pediatrician do?

 

IMO, a child's success in school relates to many variables, including:

  • orientation of the school (ie montessori doesn't work for all kids; rigid, lock-step academics doesn't work for some kids, etc)
  • skills and biases of the individual teacher
  • child temperament
  • child's level of giftedness
  • any learning differences
  • any uncommon features of learning style
  • executive functioning
  • maturity
  • flexibility

 

Have you looked at other schooling options?

 

If your son is very, very gifted, minor shifts in curriculum may not be sufficient.  On the other hand, there may be something else going on besides giftedness that leads to the behaviour. 

 

It also makes sense that grade 1 might be harder for him to behave/comply in than kindergarten was if there's more seat work and formal academics.

 


That day when we had meeting , the school ( principal and teacher ) said that even if i get him tested , it only going to show the scores , and confirming what they already knew about our son . And then the principal looked at the teacher , and said " right ? based on your experience , it's not going to do anything .. is it ? " She said " no .. unless it's a learning disabilities "

 

Our teacher is a new teacher in this school , but she used to work at a public school and she has a 7 years of teaching experience and also 3 years of being a school counselor . So , from what i understand the school is willing to do something , but also that it's not going to change too much of anything as far as having a gifted class or etc .

 

And it is a very minor changes that my son has , ever since we were told he's gifted early september , he only has a pull out program which is only enrichment , because it still teaches 1st grade math except they said it's more challenging way .. so i don't know .. and this does not seem to help . Like i said 3 times 45 and the rest of the time he's doing the regular class .

 

We're sending him to a private school because our public school isn't the greatest to tell you the truth ( i wish i had known this before moving to this area , we were from out of state that time ) , the public school that we're supposed to go is pretty bad , they have 2nd grader bringing weapon to school , or 3rd grader who still doesn't know how to read .. now i don't want to send my son to that school because i know he's smart , and i want him to progress with school not regressing . I would like to see what this school can provide to our son first before decided to find and look for other school that can accomodates him the proper education .

 

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I can only speak for myself. My eldest wasn't tested until age 12. Our district accommodated her based on her proven abilities (including grade acceleration, subject accelerations, differentiation, course and GATE placement.) Her high school would accept nothing BUT scores though (different district.) Our district was kind enough to test even though she was on her way out and no one was surprised with the results. We passed the scores along to the high school and she's all "legal" in their eyes. My youngest was tested in 2nd grade as a formality as he was getting services prior to that.

 

Testing certainly has it's place. If there are viable options that require testing, look into it. Do your research though. Private testing can be very expensive (around a grand in our area.) Not all schools accept all tests. Some won't even look at your private scores and only accept scores on tests that they personally give. You hate to shell out that money only to find the school of interest won't consider them.


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 they have 2nd grader bringing weapon to school , or 3rd grader who still doesn't know how to read .. now i don't want to send my son to that school because i know he's smart , and i want him to progress with school not regressing . I would like to see what this school can provide to our son first before decided to find and look for other school that can accomodates him the proper education .

 


You really need to take this information with a grain of salt. A paring knife is considered a "weapon" in a zero tolerance environment. Little kids have gotten in trouble for bringing such items to cut-up their apples. I had a little kid bring a BB gun to camp (also considered a weapon) because he thought it was cool, wanted to show his friends and had was totally overwhelmed and confused by the reaction it got from adults. A 3rd grader who can't read has nothing to do with your own child. My eldest went all the way through elementary with a girl in her class who could barely read. She had severe learning disabilities yes but she was also a bright and delightful child. She was only ever a good friend to DD, never a burden and certainly never caused my own child to regress.

 

 


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Have you seen hoagiesgifted.org?  Lots of info there.  Also the Davidson gifted site.  The James T Webb books are also good.  Prufrock Press also has great resources.

 

I would only pay for testing privately if I could afford it and believed that it would make a difference with what the school would do for my child.  If the school sees small amounts of differentiation as the full extent of what they can do, I don't think test results would change that. 

 

Have you asked them what they think the behaviour is about?  And what approaches they will take?  If they're pure behaviourists (ie punitive as their first/only approach) and aren't going to look at underlying reasons, you may have ongoing problems.  It sounds like the accomodations they've made to date are not the solution for your son.

 

We found testing results extremely informative, but we're also working with an under-resourced school system that needed the push of seeing the results on paper that confirmed what we/they could see about the child.


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#19 of 36 Old 10-12-2011, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you seen hoagiesgifted.org?  Lots of info there.  Also the Davidson gifted site.  The James T Webb books are also good.  Prufrock Press also has great resources.

 

I would only pay for testing privately if I could afford it and believed that it would make a difference with what the school would do for my child.  If the school sees small amounts of differentiation as the full extent of what they can do, I don't think test results would change that. 

 

Have you asked them what they think the behaviour is about?  And what approaches they will take?  If they're pure behaviourists (ie punitive as their first/only approach) and aren't going to look at underlying reasons, you may have ongoing problems.  It sounds like the accomodations they've made to date are not the solution for your son.

 

We found testing results extremely informative, but we're also working with an under-resourced school system that needed the push of seeing the results on paper that confirmed what we/they could see about the child.

 

Yes , i've been to those sites and yes it's very informative .

 

The behaviour problem that he has is like interrupting , or shouting / blurting out answer out of turn , talking , and just like today just being silly counting by 10 , he would count by 100's , just to be funny . Or he would pat his friends , hugging each other because they're too excited for something , or another time , he would cut in line going to the bathrooms , he would talk and the whole class would put off their assignments and listening to my son what he has to say , my son gets his jobs done still , but not the rest of the class . Then he would fall out of his chair on purpose , complains the assignments were too easy , sulking because he has to wait for the rest of the class to move on to the next page .. These are the behaviour that he gets in trouble for .

 

Last month they said that they would give him a different curriculum , but we haven't seen that , except for the fact that they did pull out program on math 3 times 45 minutes a week . When my son acts up he would lose 5 minutes recess all the way up to losing the whole recess . The school themselves said it might be because he's bored , but yet they haven't done what they said they would . Now they said that they are going to allow him to 2nd grade reading class .. and see how he behaves then . Even though i think he can skip grade , but it could be that his misbehaviour stops him from being accelerated .. we don't know for sure about this either .

 


 

 

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 The school themselves said it might be because he's bored , but yet they haven't done what they said they would . Now they said that they are going to allow him to 2nd grade reading class .. and see how he behaves then . Even though i think he can skip grade , but it could be that his misbehavior stops him from being accelerated .. we don't know for sure about this either .

 

ask them why? 

 

sounds like this is more the school not taking the necessary steps to control his "misbehavior" and I would worry a bit if the say he can't be skipped and blame it on his quote "behavior" instead of addressing the boredom issues

 

if you feel he can be skipped, push for it----things can be reversed (doesn't mean you have to say that up-front!!)-don't give them an easy way out, request and if they say no- ask what they will do instead because what is not being done now is not working

 

 

you may be dealing with a school that is afraid others will request the same thing instead of actually addressing where he really is at academically

 


 

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That's why me and my husband been talking about it , why don't they try to fix what causes it , what causing the behaviour . We're thinking boredom .. don't you think so ? Most of the thing he does is silly stuff .. he jokes , then he would keep touching his friends , then blurting out answer that the question hasn't finished yet .. or talk out of turn , or like earlier , he got in trouble because the class was supposed to do counting by 10's and he went on to count by 100's and he had to move his bee up ( closer to the hive = trouble ) , yesterday his hand was on other student , and that's trouble too ..

 

 

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You might look at executive function (impulse control and other issues) for strategies to help him manage himself.  I really like the book Smart but Scattered, and it includes descriptions of what you'd expect to see at different developmental levels.  It may simply be his individual response to "boredom," and/or he could need help self-regulating.

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You might look at executive function (impulse control and other issues) for strategies to help him manage himself.  I really like the book Smart but Scattered, and it includes descriptions of what you'd expect to see at different developmental levels.  It may simply be his individual response to "boredom," and/or he could need help self-regulating.



I am checking the book right now , thanks for the information !

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Originally Posted by joensally View Post

You might look at executive function (impulse control and other issues) for strategies to help him manage himself.  I really like the book Smart but Scattered, and it includes descriptions of what you'd expect to see at different developmental levels.  It may simply be his individual response to "boredom," and/or he could need help self-regulating.


yeahthat.gif

 

That's the sort of thing I had in mind when I mentioned social skills.

 

Since he seemed to have less trouble in kindergarten, what do you think worked then? Did he have a better peer group, students who aren't in his class this year? Was he allowed to be more self-directed in his choice of activities? It might be worthwhile to speak with his kindergarten teacher and get his/her insight too. 

 

 

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yeahthat.gif

 

That's the sort of thing I had in mind when I mentioned social skills.

 

Since he seemed to have less trouble in kindergarten, what do you think worked then? Did he have a better peer group, students who aren't in his class this year? Was he allowed to be more self-directed in his choice of activities? It might be worthwhile to speak with his kindergarten teacher and get his/her insight too. 

 

 


I was thinking the same thing actually about asking her kindergarten teacher , but then again during the kindergarten though they're less structure , so that's probably why .. Although it's not a bad idea just to ask . Thanks !!

 

Speaking about the executive skills , i just looked it up last night , he does really having a trouble controlling his anger , if he's mad  you can tell he's mad , he wouldn't hide it , but things like organizing things , he is very organized , for example , on saturdays , i only i have to tell him he needs to clean his bedroom and he would watch his cartoon usually until 10 and then he goes to his bedroom and cleans . Although it takes an hour to 1.5 hours to clean up because he has lots and lots of lego stuff on the shelves , he gets it done , the only help i give him while doing his bedroom is dusting the shelves , but he organizes everything . He would get his homework done within minutes , usually right after school i said to get his homework done and he gets it done i don't need to help him , 95% of the time he just works on it without my help .

 

So does it sound like he has executive skills problem ??

 

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Another thing about executive skills , people with executive skills problem would be hard memorizing things , right ?

 

My son is really good with memorizing anything , we have a bible verse to recite every week during kindergarten and he always gets it done perfectly , during 1st grade they only do it once a month , except it's a long verse , he memorized The Lord's prayer after only reading it 2-3 times the night before . The next morning , he asked me if i want to hear him recite it , and i said sure .. and he got it all perfect .

 

He gets his school work done at school or at home , although he talks a lot or being silly and stuff , he gets his job done for sure . But that's the thing everybody else in the class get so distracted and listening to him , my son gets everything done , but the rest of the kids didn't get the job done cos of my son ! And also usually the night before he gets his book bag and get everything ready , or before swimming practice , i would just tell him it's time to get ready and he gets everything in the bag himself , no problem . So far the only thing that i can see him being weak is , that he is having a hard time to control his emotion . When he's mad he would scream and then he would run to his bedroom , he probably would throw his comforter on the floor ( in the past this is what he did .. until i said if he throw anything on the floor when he's mad , i am taking it away , one time he threw his comforter on the floor and he slept without it , so he doesn't do it anymore ) but you can tell from his facial expression when he's really mad .

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So does it sound like he has executive skills problem ??

 



I'd hesitate to pathologize it as a problem and I apologize if I've made you think that way. Developing executive function is an ongoing process for all children. He's 6 or 7 y.o, right? It's important to keep expectations reasonable for that age. It's just tough when there is a big gap between academic ability and behaviour. Particularly when a child is academically advanced, there's often an (unfair) expectation that emotional maturity, behaviour and social ability will also be advanced. That's what asynchronous development is about - advanced in one area but not in others. But since there seems to be a gap and it's interfering at school, it may help to work with him to develop those skills and abilities. 

 

In your son's case, it isn't possible for me, a stranger, to say whether his behaviour would improve if he had more challenging schoolwork. That may be the case. I definitely agree that he should be given work appropriate for his abilities and be kept engaged while at school. In addition, finding him a few peers to work with and giving him appropriate alternative activities are some tactics to try to help the situation. In the meantime, helping him develop some self-regulation will also be beneficial. 

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I'd hesitate to pathologize it as a problem and I apologize if I've made you think that way. Developing executive function is an ongoing process for all children. He's 6 or 7 y.o, right? It's important to keep expectations reasonable for that age. It's just tough when there is a big gap between academic ability and behaviour. Particularly when a child is academically advanced, there's often an (unfair) expectation that emotional maturity, behaviour and social ability will also be advanced. That's what asynchronous development is about - advanced in one area but not in others. But since there seems to be a gap and it's interfering at school, it may help to work with him to develop those skills and abilities. 

 

In your son's case, it isn't possible for me, a stranger, to say whether his behaviour would improve if he had more challenging schoolwork. That may be the case. I definitely agree that he should be given work appropriate for his abilities and be kept engaged while at school. In addition, finding him a few peers to work with and giving him appropriate alternative activities are some tactics to try to help the situation. In the meantime, helping him develop some self-regulation will also be beneficial. 

 

No , actually i should be thankful i learned more things from people on this board . I was just wondering if that was considered a problem with the executive skills , i was just giving some examples and maybe some people can help me figure out :)

 

I have read about asynchronous too , and at times it does feel that way , yes my son is 6 years old , but sometimes it doesn't seem like he's 6 , when i see him with phy his friends , he does get along well , but i can see his friends who just turned 7 last month seems much much more mature than him , but at times my son can be mature too . For example , he can say things like " i don't like it when people say hurtful things to you mom , because even though they don't say it to me , but it hurts me , because you're my mom "

 

On another occasion he drew earth when he was told by his teacher what would he consider a blessing in his life . So there are times where he can be mature for his age but there are also plenty of times that i consider him not mature enough for his age .

 

Wonder if consulting to a children's psychologist about this might help ?? what do you think ???

 

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EF skills are generally in 8 domains, and a kid who is struggling to develop just one of them can still be really struggling in busy classroom spaces.  All kids (and many adults!) are still developing their EF skills, so it's not a matter of pathologizing a child, but rather to say "Billy really struggles in ___ environments, and some of the ways that help him manage include ____, and these are some specific strategies: ____."   My son has EF challenges, which we really don't see too much at home where he's comfortable, but we do see them at school where he's more challenged to self-regulate.  In DS's case, it's boredom, frustration with written output, and sensory issues.  We're trying to adapt the environment to him as much as possible, but there are limits to how far that will go, and so we're working on helping him learn to adapt to his environment.

 

My daughter used to attend school with a boy who is PG and good at just about everything.  He is happy in age-based grade placement because he has a very flexible temperament, excellent self-regulation skills, and his parents taught him all kinds of strategies to keep himself out of trouble, plus it's a slightly different from the norm school.  My daughter grew to hate that school because she doesn't have an easy going temperament and it just didn't fit her.  I would never place DS there as it would clearly not fit him.

 

In your son's case as you describe it, I see problems with chalking all of this up to his being bored.  The first is that if it's more than just boredom, waiting on the school to get it together is time you're losing on working on your child's self-regulation skills.  Having good self-regulation skills is a gift, and even if it's just boredom, you can't lose building EF skills.  Another problem is that you're stuck waiting on the school, and who knows how long they may take to figure this out (what if subject acceleration isn't sufficient, and he's still acting up out of boredom?).  He's getting into patterns of behaviour.  Are there consequences either at home or school for being disruptive?  Are they offering him alternative activities that he can do in the classroom when he's finished his work?


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In your son's case as you describe it, I see problems with chalking all of this up to his being bored.  The first is that if it's more than just boredom, waiting on the school to get it together is time you're losing on working on your child's self-regulation skills.  Having good self-regulation skills is a gift, and even if it's just boredom, you can't lose building EF skills.  Another problem is that you're stuck waiting on the school, and who knows how long they may take to figure this out (what if subject acceleration isn't sufficient, and he's still acting up out of boredom?).  He's getting into patterns of behaviour.  Are there consequences either at home or school for being disruptive?  Are they offering him alternative activities that he can do in the classroom when he's finished his work?

 

 

exactly!

 

first you really don't know what is causing the "issues" but you do know the school is not doing enough at this point

 

push for a meeting and go in armed and as prepared as you can be, make lists and go over it decide what you see as issues and what they see, what you want to see and how best to make it happen, and bring what ever you have from you ped so that they just don't dismiss all of this and just say it's all ADHD

 

try and talk with the kindergarden teacher, was there disruptive behavior? what are her thoughts?

 

is there another 1st grade class at the school? another teacher? 


 

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