Is My Kid Gifted? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 10-25-2011, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My daughter is now eight. Many people have commented on how bright she is. Some examples:

 

When she was three, she recited a very elaborate poem from memory.

 

When she was six, I found her attempting to write a list of chapters for a very elaborate story about Hello Kitty's adventures in the woods- before she wrote the actual story.

 

When she was three, she knew what autograph meant already.

 

Now, at age eight, she is writing poetry for fun.


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#2 of 19 Old 10-25-2011, 08:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry, forgot to add that I'm not sure if this is a sign of giftedness. After all, her older sister was similar, but when she took the G and T test, she didn't get in. Still, her teachers say that she's very bright. And after I told my friends those stories about her, they said their kids didn't do anything like that at her age- at least, not until later. I'm just exploring options right now..... 


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#3 of 19 Old 10-25-2011, 09:25 PM
 
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The parents here are not diagnosticians, and even if we were we couldn't make diagnosis over the internet of course. Your dd sounds very bright and she's obviously keen on pursuits that involve language and memory. Her areas of precocity are things that tend to get recognized easily by friends / extended family / teachers and so on, so I don't think it's surprising that people have made comments to you. What you describe doesn't sound overly advanced to me, but I'm a really poor person to judge that sort of thing since I don't have much experience with 'normal.' The bottom line is: gifted or not, it's important to support kids, nurture their passions and keep them happy with the level of challenge and experience they're getting. Enjoy the ride!

 

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#4 of 19 Old 10-26-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post

The parents here are not diagnosticians, and even if we were we couldn't make diagnosis over the internet of course. 


 

I agree with what Miranda said. None of us are in the position to tell you whether your child is gifted or not. We tend not to have the best perspective on "normal." Sometimes, a very highly gifted child will be quite obvious to all around her but most gifted kids are moderate and the line between moderately gifted and high average is thin... just a point really. Typically, the eldest child gets the highest IQ scores but there certainly are cases when that isn't the case.  

 

Are you looking into a program for her? If so, she's old enough for the school to test her. Is she getting what she needs? Is she happy exploring her areas of interest? If so, it may not be important if she's got the label or not.

 

 


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#5 of 19 Old 11-09-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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Agree with previous posters. We cannot really tell. But as you may  know, giftedness does not necessarily extend to all realms. Kids can be gifted in one field and perform exceptionally in one area. Maybe you can consider getting her evaluated privately since she is at a testable age. If you look on internet, you can find a lot of resources and books on how to figure out if your child is indeed gifted. What matters most, at least IMHO, is that she is happy wherever she is and is learning at her level and being challenged to think. Like the previous poster said, the label is not so important as long as she is happy and progressing. :) I find myself constantly looking for answers to these questions with my 3 year old. :)

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#6 of 19 Old 11-10-2011, 09:03 AM
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Hi, nerdmomma.  The things you've listed don't indicate that your daughter is gifted.  She still might be gifted, of course, but in the end if she's not it might actually be a good thing for you.  I tend to subscribe to a basic definition of giftedness given by a poster at another site: above-normal intelligence and performance so out of the ordinary that specialized education is necessary.  In that sense, the less unusual your child is, the better the chance of her remaining happy and learning in a wide range of environments.  Exceptionally gifted children can be in a worse position than moderately gifted children, since they have more extreme and hard-to-satisfy needs.

 

The label "gifted", IQ scores, or even actual intelligence do not determine what achievements or contributions to society a person will make, or what level of happiness and success they can achieve.  Drive and creativity can be as important as, or more important than, intelligence in developing high ability in a wide range of areas.  And I'm not talking about just art or other fields traditionally described as creative; this goes for STEM fields too.

 

An interesting bit of trivia: Richard Feynman was measured as having an IQ of 125.  See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman .  Now it would be ridiculous to call him anything but a genius, but the idea here is that IQ testing is has its limits.  It's just one tool, and one known to be flawed, for assessing giftedness, which itself is a nebulous concept that doesn't translate to much of consequence for a person in the end.  Its main usefulness is for determining what's necessary to support a child, based on differences from the norm.

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#7 of 19 Old 11-10-2011, 10:33 AM
 
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UpToSomeGood, I just wanna yeahthat.gif your post. 

 

Couldn't begin to say it better. Gifted is as gifted does, I guess. I think about my brother (software engineer) who was/is clearly gifted in that very left-brained engineering sort of way, but he's not a particularly happy person. My sister, also very smart, is also a very driven, very hard working person and I think her overall happiness is much, much higher than my brother's and her success level in her field (psychology) and personal life is just as high or higher. I wouldn't doubt that my brother's IQ measured higher, though. 

 

My kids haven't been evaluated through the schools yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if my dd2 is moderately gifted. She's having some trouble this year (2nd grade) finding work that is challenging enough, but they are giving her some enrichment math activities and differentiated time with a higher level reading group. 

 

OP, I'd look at your dd's satisfaction level and challenge level. For my kids, I want them to be challenged enough to find the work interesting and not boring. Next year in 3rd grade our schools' main gifted program begins. (We have programs for highly gifted kids, and a nurturing program for kids who seem to be gifted but aren't achieving that begin earlier.) I don't think my dd2 is HG, but I think she probably is moderately gifted and would get something out of the regular GE program at our school, so I will pursue that next year. I want her to be challenged, but not overwhelmed. I don't want her to be bored and stagnating. On the other hand, I don't want to push her just for the sake of pushing her, either. I want her to be engaged and excited. It sounds like your dd is finding ways of doing just that.

 

The activities you describe your dd doing certainly sound like something either of my girls would be doing and have done. (My dd1 may be 2E and is a tricky case.) They both always have some story going they're writing and dd2 was really into poetry last year and maybe the year before as well. She'll be 8 this month.


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#8 of 19 Old 11-13-2011, 10:36 AM
 
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I will chime in also, agreeing with the above.  What you are describing is consistent with bright but below most districts' gifted standards, and with gifted ranges. 

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#9 of 19 Old 12-01-2011, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, thanks! sorry for wasting your time....

 

I have a question. if my child isn't gifted, then how do they think?


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#10 of 19 Old 12-02-2011, 01:05 AM
 
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OP,

 

To be honest, I don't know what you mean by "how they think". But for what it's worth, it seems to me that you may have a budding writer in your hand - she definitely enjoys working with words and words will always be her friend and solace. That is something worth knowing. IQ testing is very much logic based, it will not be a suitable test to dig out a talented writer.

 

One thing you may want to consider is if she is into big picture questions at a younger age - life, God, justice, social issues etc. I feel it is very important to support a child who starts to ask these big picture questions at a younger age and if one is not religious, to provide philosophical solace.

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#11 of 19 Old 12-02-2011, 05:04 AM
 
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You should  not think you wasted anyone's time.  Even if your kid doesn't hit any "official" designation of "gifted," it can be extremely challenging for many parents to parent bright/gifted/etc. children, especially if their areas of extreme growth are different from our own.  Just because your kid is doing things that many of our children have done (including my oldest 2 daughters), doesn't mean that we mind answering questions.  But what the other parents have posted is also true.  Numbers are just numbers and are often not a good indicator of giftedness or "brightness" in certain areas, especially the arts and writing.

 

I think this is a forum for anyone finding it challenging to raise a child that does stuff that people "can't believe."  Or find "out of the ordinary."  Or "comment on" on a regular basis.  It can be hard having the kid that stands out in any direction, and this is a support forum for the gifted "direction", regardless of numbers.

 

Good luck raising a child with a rich imagination--keep offering reams of paper, and expose her to many wonderful stories and books, if she loves language and books.  When you come into the room and you can't tell whether your children are actually fighting or you have to say, "is this just the story," you're in for many wonderful insights from young voices.  :)

 

And yes, many questions about "the hard stuff" at a young and sensitive age.

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#12 of 19 Old 12-02-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UpToSomeGood View Post

: above-normal intelligence and performance so out of the ordinary that specialized education is necessary.  In that sense, the less unusual your child is, the better the chance of her remaining happy and learning in a wide range of environments.  Exceptionally gifted children can be in a worse position than moderately gifted children, since they have more extreme and hard-to-satisfy needs.

 

I don't agree with this. "Performance so out of the ordinary that specialized education is necessary" certainly applies to profoundly, and maybe even highly, gifted children. But there are children who fall into a moderately gifted child whose needs can be met without specialized education. Maybe it's the specialized education bit, but the many moderately and some highly gifted children can have their needs met within a typical school. They need differentiation, but I don't view that as 'specialized education'.

 

For example, our son is moderately gifted overall, and highly gifted with language. Unless you really knew him, you'd never know he was as bright as he is. He's happiest in a traditional educational setting. He's got a few other issues (sensory, anxiety) that make him most comfortable when the material is a bit too easy for him. It took him so much energy to hold it together at school when he was younger that being challenged in class meant he couldn't demonstrate what he knew. In 5th grade, he's much better and is starting to come into his own. (He's got a sophisticated level of humor and sophisticated language/writing that most of his peers lack.)

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post

I will chime in also, agreeing with the above.  What you are describing is consistent with bright but below most districts' gifted standards, and with gifted ranges. 


Really? I haven't a clue based on the OPs description whether she's at, above or below most districts' gifted standards.  As others have said, it's impossible for us to know over the internet. Declaring that a child isn't gifted is unnecessarily off-putting to the original poster.

 

OP: You didn't waste anyone's time. I still don't know whether your daughter is gifted, but she sounds bright, possibly gifted, and a child who is very good at language related learning.

I know that there are some issues with Ruf's levels of giftedness, but I find them a handy rule of thumb when thinking about giftedness. OP -- you might want to look at Ruf's levels of giftedness and see if they fit your daughter.  http://www.talentigniter.com/ruf-estimates


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#13 of 19 Old 12-04-2011, 03:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post

 

Really? I haven't a clue based on the OPs description whether she's at, above or below most districts' gifted standards.  As others have said, it's impossible for us to know over the internet. Declaring that a child isn't gifted is unnecessarily off-putting to the original poster.
 

Lynn, I think you read my sentence too quickly.  Try again.

 

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#14 of 19 Old 12-05-2011, 03:49 AM
 
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My son tests very poorly. He quits when he hits a problem he doesn't know.  I was in the gifted program as a child and got kicked out for not following instructions.  My son seems to be followiing the same path.  He is very advanced in spacial and logical skills but has refused to learn a lot of the basics needed to perform in class.   I can teach him, and my methods work, but the teachers are having a difficult time with him. I am exhausted.   He seems to have an exceptional long term memory (He remembers his birth, and a few events from before he was one). He is now 8.  Are there any sites that have tools or methods that will help?

 

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#15 of 19 Old 12-05-2011, 05:12 AM
 
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VtheDad, I'm sure some folks here can advise you on sites with the resources you're looking for, but I was curious about his remembering his birth. Is your son on the spectrum at all - Apsbergers? I know some autistic kids can remember their births. My niece, who is pretty strongly autistic, was able to draw pictures of her birth by C-section at a young age.


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#16 of 19 Old 12-28-2011, 04:43 AM
 
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I have PDD-NOS and remember being born too.  :) 

 

In second grade I got a perfect score on the visual IQ test for the gifted program, which was supposed to have been impossible for a kid my age.  The gifted program wouldn't take me because I didn't talk. 


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#17 of 19 Old 12-29-2011, 11:30 AM
 
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I totally agree with LynnS6. My 9 yo DD is moderately gifted overall but highly gifted in language. School is a bit boring for her, but socially she is thriving. She totally challenges herself at home. Right now she is working on an at-home-school and loving it.

 

Just do the best to encourage, support, and stimulate your daughter and do not worry one bit about labels. Different states have different cutoffs for TAG. In the end, it does not matter if your child was labeled as long as she thrives.

 

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#18 of 19 Old 01-01-2012, 06:58 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by nerdmomma6885 View Post

 After all, her older sister was similar, but when she took the G and T test, she didn't get in.

What test are they using?  I've known kids with average or high average IQ scores who hit the point needed to get into GT programs on group tests (kids who've taken both group tests and individual IQ tests) and kids who have sky high IQ scores whose group test scores weren't high enough to get into GT classes at schools.

 

What little you posted might indicate a gifted child; it might not.  I would never venture to guess whether someone is gifted unless they consistently have IQ scores that indicate they are not, they show few if any signs of being gifted, or the converse applies: the kid has top 2%+ IQ scores, performs in such a way as to stand out tremendously from age peers, etc.

 

Gifted isn't about achievement, though, so I wouldn't usually use performance in terms of achievement to indicate gifted unless it is way beyond typical (say a child who reads college textbooks with comprehension in early elementary, but not necessarily a child who reads a few grades above level or 95th percentile, like is used in my local schools)  The later child may be gifted, but I wouldn't say it for sure based solely on achievement.  In my mind, it is more about thinking and processing differently.

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#19 of 19 Old 01-02-2012, 04:56 AM
 
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We get too hung up on these definitions. It sounds like your child could benefit from some enrichment in her areas of interest. If she is not gifted in the sense of having special academic needs, she's certainly ready for you to help her pick out more interesting books in the public library and for you to acknowledge her love of writing in other ways. You can get her a notebook or give her typing lessons or make sure she gets to meet her favorite authors when they come to town. 

 

A lot of this forum is about dealing with social expectations for children. Even a kid who is not doing terribly unusually advanced things (like, I don't know, going to college at age 14 or something!) may need emotional support and acceptance from her parents about her intellectual interests. She may need you to monitor how she's doing in school--sometimes children with intellectual interests and abilities get bored and misbehave. 

 

For me, the big challenge has been that my (apparently moderately gifted) child has interests I don't share, or at least, haven't until now. Fortunately, I've really enjoyed connecting with other adults who like math and science and getting their recommendations for how to enrich his intellectual experiences. For me this has been a great experience--I can connect with my kid about the stuff he likes and feel closer to him generally. Your kid doesn't have to be a genius for you to foster her love of writing. 

 

 


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