Daycare Challenges - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 21 Old 11-17-2011, 03:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi.  I have a 15 month old who is advanced in her development.  I am not sure exactly what age group she would fall in, however her current day care providers have told me that she belongs in a toddler class (which starts at two).  They are legally not allowed to move her due to CA state law.  The only reason I am looking to place her somewhere else is because she is acting out in her class and is starting to show personally changes. I am hopeful that some of you may have had similar experiences and was hoping for some advice.  My husband and I currently work full time and I don't have the option of home care.


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
#2 of 21 Old 11-17-2011, 06:02 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)

This sounds to me like a daycare issue rather than a gifted issue. What would "acting out in class" consist of for a infant daycare? They have classes?

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#3 of 21 Old 11-17-2011, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Okay.  Sorry,  It is not a "class".  I just call it her class.  It is simply a dare care facility.  And an example of one of the issues that they have brought up to me is they will hand her toy after toy, but they do not stimulater her.  So, as any child would, she gets upset and screams, cries, trashes, ect.   They try to do more things for her, like teach her to spell her name, and so on, but there is only so much they can to because of the amount of attention they say she is requiring.  They can't move her up in class cause of state law.   I don't think it is necessarily a problem of "giftedness" or the daycare facility, but just that she doesn't fit well in that particular day cares age group.  I don't think this would change if I placed her in a different day care with the same type of setting.  I am hesitant to call her gifted or anything else because, well, you can't even test that till she is three or so.  All I can say is she is advanced for her age.  I just thought this would be a good place to find someone who had a toddler that didn't "fit in" with the age group standards and how they were able to deal with that.  


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
#4 of 21 Old 11-17-2011, 07:31 PM
 
joensally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Welcome :).

 

What is she like at home?  What are the adult: child ratios in the setting?

 

As an aside, you can't really test until school age, and for any reliability, 7 or 8.

 

 

 

 


Mom to a teenager and a middle schooler.

joensally is offline  
#5 of 21 Old 11-17-2011, 07:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks!   Well, at home, she is very sweet and affectionate.  I do find the same issue as the day care with toys though.  One thing I have noticed since she was little was she has to play with toys appropriately.   I always asked, why won't she just toss it or bang it?  So once she figures out how to use a toy she shortly becomes bored with it, or she can't figure out the toy and then she will start her screaming and want me to show her over and over, and she will try over and over and scream. Sometimes she will even start hitting me.  She loves to go on walks and will ask me to tell her what everything is (ohhh, what is that?) and then repeats what I say.  She loves learning new words.  Sometimes it is easy, she has always liked taking baths and running water, and she was able to enjoy opening the shampoo bottle, pouring it on her octopus, "washing" it with her hand, closing the shampoo bottle, and doing that over and over for a good 5 minutes.       The ratio in her class right now is 1 to 5.    I am really new to this kind of thing and to be honest have just started some research because of the situation.  


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
#6 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 06:48 AM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 29 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2010 View Post
 So once she figures out how to use a toy she shortly becomes bored with it, or she can't figure out the toy and then she will start her screaming and want me to show her over and over, and she will try over and over and scream. 


 

How does she do with open ended toys? Dolls, blocks, dishes, cars, etc.

 

 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is online now  
#7 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

When she was about 9 months old, "Memaw" gave her some measuring cups (metal) to bang around.  She loved it, and has banged all pots and pans since.  Sometimes she will stack them and put them away.  Tupperware, she will pick out the appropriate tops and bottoms and put the lids on.  This activity can last up to 10 minutes.  I took her to a childrens museum last week that had a train track. She moved the car back and forth and down a ramp, and was completely disinterested.  She played with "Gak" for a few minutes and same thing.  She rolled a shopping cart around and put groceries in and out of it and that was one activity she liked and would keep going back to, but would only do this for about 5-10 minutes the first time and less each thereafter.  There was a space shuttle and station mock up where she would pick up the phone and say hello.  She pressed some of the buttons to she if they would do anything but they didn't.  She wondered around in there for a while trying to play with a 3 year old boy.  The one thing we found that day is she loves painting.  There was a large standup board and different colors and she liked dipping the paintbrush and painting.  Her security toy is a stuffed rabbit.  "Baby"  She will carry it everywhere.  Hugs it and says awww or hug.  Kisses it and says muwha.  Lays it down and puts a blanket over it and pats its stomach and say's nigh nigh.  or shhhhh.  so on.  She will do this with any "baby" and loves them.   

 

On a side note, I may be in luck.  There is a young Co-op place that is going to open up in January right in our area.  I got lucky by calling a lady to ask for some resources, and she happened to be the one opening it up.  She says it is geared for gifted kids 2-4 but it was more geared towards the type of kids and not the age group.  She invited me and my daughter to the orientation lunch and who knows...if nothing else I should be able to meet some family's and find some resources!!!  I didn't think I was going to be able to find anything there for a minute.  Whew.


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
#8 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 08:43 AM
 
Tjej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: a beautiful place
Posts: 1,580
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Personally, when my kids flit from one thing to another I LIMIT the options more, I don't look for more options.  There is always more one can get out of stuff, sometimes it just takes slowing down a bit to see it. 

 

Glad to hear you have found a possible solution.

 

Tjej

Tjej is offline  
#9 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 09:52 AM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 38 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2010 View Post

She moved the car back and forth and down a ramp, and was completely disinterested.  She played with "Gak" for a few minutes and same thing.  


See, this is why I don't think her difficulties are necessarily going to be solved by being with an older group of kids. These are "older" activities you're describing, and you're seeing the same disinterest. I think what you're seeing is more an issue of her temperament, and this not being a particularly good fit for group care type situations. 

 

I would tend to agree with Tjej. Too many possibilities can be overwhelming for kids. They're always expecting the next thing they'll be offered, so they don't engage deeply with the current one. The environment may be overstimulating from a sensory standpoint. They may be worried that if they are too focused on A, they'll miss out on B, C, D, E and F that they know are also available. Fewer choices, not more. The less attempt made to "stimulate", the more depth a child will discover.

 

I remember being snow-bound during a family retreat at a mountain cabin. We had hoped to do plenty of outdoor stuff, but we had to wait out a blizzard first. We had no toys, no electronics, no TV, no electricity and no diversions at all. My kids spent hours creating complex play out of a pencil, a fork and a small scrap of green construction paper. I had rarely seen them so deeply engaged in creative play. It was a very potent object lesson for me. Less is more. < = >

 

Not all kids are well-suited to zen-like immersion in simple tasks at an early age. But I don't think the solution is necessarily to provide more stimulation. It sounds like you may need a daycare that is a better fit for her. Perhaps a smaller, in-home situation, or one with a different philosophy. The new lead sounds like it could be promising.  

 

Miranda


Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#10 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I can see that.  It doesn't matter what age group she is in, if the setting is the same the problem still remains.  I can also see that I might be over doing it, by overstimulation, and to remove distractions and just try to focus on one activity, completely removing all others from sight.  I was just hoping that she would do better in an older age group cause she might relate to the activities and kids more.  She has started to not talk and whine for things and try to act "younger".   I was also worried by putting her in a small home based place she might miss out on some socialization or other development things.  I am pretty hopeful about the new place opening, and they said they won't taking more than five, but may also only take two.  Whatever they think is going to be best for the kids.  I am a little worried that this may also be too much.  She isn't doing anything profound, she is just ahead, and I am worried about what putting her in a program like this will mean.  I also know that she isn't doing good in the environment that she is in, and it sounds like this new place might really work for her.  This is all really so much to think about, and I appreciate all the advice.  It is nice to have a place to just put my thoughts out there.  It has been really hard to talk to others about it, and I just get treated like "yeah right; sure; what's the problem; just let her be a kid"  I just want to say, that's what I'm trying to do!  


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
#11 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 02:10 PM
 
KCMichigan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2010 View Post

Tupperware, she will pick out the appropriate tops and bottoms and put the lids on.  This activity can last up to 10 minutes.

 

This is a great activity! It is sorting, matching and 10 minutes is actually a good length of time for a 15 mon old.

 

 

 I took her to a childrens museum last week that had a train track. She moved the car back and forth and down a ramp, and was completely disinterested. 

 

Maybe she just was not that interested. My kiddos never got into trains at all...I thought they would like them, but not so much.

 

 She rolled a shopping cart around and put groceries in and out of it and that was one activity she liked and would keep going back to, but would only do this for about 5-10 minutes the first time and less each thereafter.  

 

That sounds 'normal' for 15 mon. Attention span in a busy-busy place like a museum can be overwheming. Even at age 6, sometimes my kids get too 'want to see everything' to focus on anything for long. 5-10 min for a toddler is good in the see-see-busy-busy place.

 

If you watch 14-24 month olds in a museum, most likely you will see them wander a lot with only a few moments at any same spot, with returns to favorite activities!

 

 

On a side note, I may be in luck.  There is a young Co-op place that is going to open up in January right in our area.  I got lucky by calling a lady to ask for some resources, and she happened to be the one opening it up.  She says it is geared for gifted kids 2-4 but it was more geared towards the type of kids and not the age group.  She invited me and my daughter to the orientation lunch and who knows...if nothing else I should be able to meet some family's and find some resources!!!  I didn't think I was going to be able to find anything there for a minute.  Whew.

 

Sounds like a good option! Explore it.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2010 View Post

I can see that.  It doesn't matter what age group she is in, if the setting is the same the problem still remains.  I can also see that I might be over doing it, by overstimulation, and to remove distractions and just try to focus on one activity, completely removing all others from sight.  I was just hoping that she would do better in an older age group cause she might relate to the activities and kids more.

 

As pp stated, sometimes fewer options are better. Also toddlers have short attention spans- so they often will switch play and change what they are doing often.

 

She may relate better and/or get frustrated. It depends on the 'group' to be honest. Different mixes of kiddos are often much more influential than their actual ages. That is why multi-age groups work well...is it more the make up of the group than the actual 'age' of them.

 

 

 I also know that she isn't doing good in the environment that she is in, and it sounds like this new place might really work for her.  This is all really so much to think about, and I appreciate all the advice.  It is nice to have a place to just put my thoughts out there.  It has been really hard to talk to others about it, and I just get treated like "yeah right; sure; what's the problem; just let her be a kid"  I just want to say, that's what I'm trying to do!  

 

IT does sound like she might do better in another place. The one she is in does not seem like a good fit....I also would explore books that talk about spirited children . I have twin girls and at 15 months one was much much more 'intense' than her twin. Now at 6, they are still untested- but very bright and ahead of grade level academically. That said-- a lot changed between now and 15 months!! We did learning through play from age 0- 5, and even now a lot of of their play is very important (but school does  make it more focused toward academic book-work).

 

 

I will say that at some developmental milestones we would see personality changes. As they worked on those skills sometimes other skills seemed to stall or fade (behavior, speech, sleeping or eating patterns) until that skill was mastered (walking, reading, jumping, talking in long sentences, etc) Then everything settled back down.

 

Enjoy your busy little one!


 

 

KCMichigan is offline  
#12 of 21 Old 11-18-2011, 06:09 PM
 
Monkey Keeper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,955
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It seems like you may have another option, which is wonderful. But I do have experience with a similar situation.

 

My DD had a poor fit with the infant room at daycare as well. What is the issue with CA law regarding moving your DD to an "older" room? For us, law required all children under 18m to have a designated, unshared crib. That was daycare's reasoning for keeping her in the infant room. However, she was bored with the toys in there and outpacing the providers (the room was 0-18m, so they were quite engaged with the little ones and trying to manage the toddlers too) and was quite large and physically advanced. She needed more physical play as well as different intellectual stimulation. To get her moved, all I had to do (after a bit of arguing with the director) was sign a waiver saying I permitted her to sleep on a cot only. That was the only legal issue with her moving. She did have to be 16m to be eligible for the waiver.  

 

All that to say that there often are loopholes, so make sure to ask and ask again. But I hope it's not an issue any more and that the new situation pans out!


 hearts.gif(6), energy.gif(4.5),  diaper.gif (2) and  IT'S A babygirl.gif!!!!  ~9/24/12~ vbac.gifwaterbirth.jpg

Monkey Keeper is offline  
#13 of 21 Old 11-20-2011, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

The day care she is in now has an "infant room" which is basically 0- toddling.   I think this is a "milestone advancement" based, but not sure of all the criteria because she was not ever in that room. (we just moved here about 4 or 5 months ago)  The "pre-toddler" room is from that point till they are two. This is the one she is in now.  I guess CA state law requires a child to be a minimum of  two years old before entering a toddler room.  Most of these seem to be 2-3 year olds.  I got a note from DD's pediatrician stating that "...(DD) is highly advanced in all aspects of development -gross and fine motor, social and language development.  In order for her to continue to thrive in her growth and development, she needs an appropriate learning environment.  Please consider her to be enrolled in a higher age group setting, as this may be more appropriate for her."  Armed with this note, I have found one place (CDC) that falls under federal law, not state, and the director is currently making phone calls and seeing if they would be able to provide for her in the toddler room (they haven't had to do this before and are just trying to make sure they can i guess).  I have to get another form from her pediatrician, and then a special needs evaluation.  And of course there are safety concerns.  However, I am taking the advice of some of the Mom's who have posted and thinking that this may not solve the problem, because in a few months when the "new" wears off, we may have the same problem.  There is a co-op for gifted children opening up and I am hoping they will take her, I am just nervous cause I am not sure she is actually "gifted".  If she doesn't fit in to what they are looking for, and the CDC advance placement also isn't really the solution, then I might have to find a person who might be qualified to watch her from home, and my DH hates that idea, because he wants to be able to keep up her socialization.   (BTW sry it took so long, my DH just got back from deployment yesterday, Wooohooo!!!)


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
#14 of 21 Old 11-20-2011, 11:37 AM
 
Tigerle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)

I can't believe you need to lobby to grade skip one-year olds now with a doctor's note if you feel they'd do better with somewhat older children around. Are there no multi-age options around anywhere except for that co-op for which it appears you have to somehow prove to that your child is gifted at the age of one, which is a bit of an impossibility? I second KC MIchigan - multi-age groups work much better than age-based classes for advanced toddlers. They don't always fit perfectly well with older kids either, who may have different motor skills, attention spans, napping and toileting needs, for instance, and an older classroom may not be flexible enough to accomodate her age-appropriate needs, if she has any (she sounds very advanced all around, but for socio-emotional needs and physical needs to develop in perfect tandem with intellectual advancement is rare).

Seconding those posters who think her focus sounds perfectly normal for her age. I'd guess it is the advanced social and language development that is the problem. Children who are verbal very early seem to find other, age-appropriately nonverbal children extremely odd...

JollyGG likes this.

Mesleepytime.gifDH geek.gif DS1 10/06 drum.gif DD 08/10 notes.gifDS2 10/12babyf.gifwith SB ribbonyellow.gif and cat.gifcat.gif 
Tigerle is online now  
#15 of 21 Old 11-20-2011, 05:24 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2010 View Post

 If she doesn't fit in to what they are looking for, and the CDC advance placement also isn't really the solution, then I might have to find a person who might be qualified to watch her from home, and my DH hates that idea, because he wants to be able to keep up her socialization.   (BTW sry it took so long, my DH just got back from deployment yesterday, Wooohooo!!!)



If you can financially afford a one on one nanny, that would probably be an excellent sitution.  Just like "Stay at Home Parents" don't stay at home all day, neither would a nanny need to.  The people I know who have nanny's also have their children go to gymboree, swimming lessons, story time at the library, and a variety of other activities (these are 2 yo and under).  There is no need for a toddler to be in full time day care for socialization.

 


 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#16 of 21 Old 11-20-2011, 06:25 PM
 
aHikaru's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 786
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree with the fact that most kids are considered "gifted" till ages 7-8.

 

My babe was a lot like your baby and overall it seems like she is unable to grasp the ability to use creativity when given simple items or stimulate her imagination. We are minimalists, so we firmly advocate simplicity and a minimal amount of stimulation and toys, which seemed to help greatly. 

 

For the longest time I felt like Audrey had social issues and lacked the ability to use her imagination, but it wasn't until she turned two that she was able to express her interests and show me what she wants, and not throw a tantrum. Just today she took some blocks and built a "castle" with a family inside, I never would have imagined her doing this a year ago, considering she wasn't interested in anything and during that time I started to investigate how to change the environment she was primarily in to avoid over stimulatation and in our situation Waldorf worked, I was able to grasp concepts and ideas I liked and used them at home and eventually joined a playgroup. 

 

We're from California also, so I know there are a lot of options for child care, but it's important to remember (as all studies show) to keep our children's environment as open ended as possible and let them be kids.


Mama to DD(4) energy.gif&  DS baby.gif

aHikaru is offline  
#17 of 21 Old 11-21-2011, 08:53 AM
 
not now's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think the problem the daycare has with moving your child up an age group is the DCP to child ratio required by CA. No matter how many notes your pediatrician writes, they have to stay in ratio.

not now is offline  
#18 of 21 Old 11-21-2011, 10:09 AM
 
whatsnextmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)

I taught preschool through our school district for several years including some time spent with the 2-year-olds (and they HAD to be 2 prior to starting school due to CA state law.)  Toddlers and 2-year-olds don't need peer socialization. Sure, occasional coffee dates with a friend while letting your little ones play on the rug can be fun for all but in a group for hours a day, could be needed for childcare but not for developmental growth.

 

What you've described is very, very normal toddler play and behavior. Playing with things for only a few minutes? Only plays with toys the way they are "supposed" to be played? Hitting you when frustrated? This is all very normal for a 15-month-old. She's not really going to fit with a group of older 2's and 3-year-olds who are using their toys in many different ways, creating stories around their toy cars, only 1 or 2 more difficult cases with hit when upset, LESS adult interaction because the ratios go up. Of course she will find older kids more entertaining but you don't really want her to be entertained all day. You want her capable of making her own fun.

 

If it were me and in my power to have a one-on-one caregiver, I'd do it.... at least until she's legal for the 2-year-old room in 7 months. I know it can be frustrating working around laws that seem arbitrary but there is good reason for them. When not regulated, childcare can be incredibly poor in quality and there are more than a few who take advantages if they can.

 

 

LynnS6 likes this.

Married mom of two, DD 17 and DS 13.
whatsnextmom is online now  
#19 of 21 Old 11-24-2011, 08:46 AM
 
emmaegbert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree that "socialization" for a 15mo in a group setting is in no way a necessity. Social interaction, of course, is important but that can (and should!) be provided in a one-on-one care situation, small group, or group. home-based care might also work and be more flexible, if you can find the right provider. That worked very well for my son at that age. I have to say, he was very verbally and physically advance,d large for age, etc, but I wouldn't have wanted him with all older kids. I prefer a more mixed-age setting anyway, b/c I think they can all learn from eachother and it mimics more a family setting.


dissertating mom to three

emmaegbert is offline  
#20 of 21 Old 11-25-2011, 10:50 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,570
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Her play behavior sounds completely normal for a 15 month old -- if you read Louise Bates Ames' "Your 1 year old" she actually has a diagram in there that gives the amount of time different aged children spend on activities. I was shocked at how short a time the 1 year olds spent on things. (My kids have always been pretty 'easy' in that way -- they entertained themselves a lot, and are somewhat introverted) It sounds like your daughter may be a bit more of an extrovert and need more one-on-one contact with an adult. I don't know if she'll thrive in an older class or with a class with 'gifted' kids -- she's not developmentally ready for imaginative play, she's easily frustrated (like most 1 year olds), and really seems to love interaction. It sounds to me like group care, for now, is going to be difficult.

 

I think the idea of either a nanny or home daycare with a mixed range of kids would be much better for her for the next year or two. Having one 1-year-old in a classroom of 2-3 year olds is inviting trouble, IMO. A mixed age group of kids from 1-5 would make her stick out less (and thus be less likely to be picked on) and she could play 'up' if she wants to or just be the toddler she is if she wants to. She'll see lots of different kinds of play modeled, and different kinds of language.

 

 


Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#21 of 21 Old 11-28-2011, 12:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mom2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ca
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So, come to find out our DD was extremely reactive to my husbands longer than usually deployment, and that a lot of her increased behaviors seem to have been from that.  A week later I can still hardly believe it, but it looks like it was that simple.  We still have concerns about finding the "perfect fit" for DD.  I always liked the day care she is in, they really care about the kids, and would have loved to just leave her there (and still might) but they think she might be better placed.  After some thought I am going to leave her where she is for right now, she seems happy again, so I have some time on my side.  I am going to go to the orientation for the Co-op, see the facility, talk to the teachers, and see how she does with the other kids.  They say it will be a mixed group and a very low ratio, (max 5 kids), and this may be the best place for her high energy, and one on one, type personality.  I am not going to move her up to a higher class, I walked around in one, and really didn't want to.  There is a lot that would work for her, but there are things I think that would actually be worse.  They are a lot more structured at that age, and some things would be great because she likes routine, however, I think that somethings she just wouldn't understand, like why she wouldn't be able to take a toy to a different area of the room (she can get clingy lol).  I just feel like she may talk and walk like she's 2.5 but ... she's not 2.5.  It's hard to explain.  Maybe at 18 months or 20 months, she will be different, but right now I am thinking, smaller ratio (mixed prefer but not necessary) or where she is at because, well, they really are great and care a lot.  

 

I have been reading and re-reading everyone's comments, trying to make sure that my head is in the right place. Just wanted to say thanks again for the information it has really been helping.  Oh, and on that note, I have been only playing with one toy at a time with DD and it also has helped a LOT! (I have to completely hide all the other toys to pull it off though lol)   ;)


superhero.gifhearts.gifangel1.gif                   flowerkitty.gifdog2.gif dog2.gif             BFPChart2.giffingersx.gifTTC             

                                                           

Mom2010 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off