She just doesn't stop talking.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 01-16-2012, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love that she has such an active imagination but DD(almost 3)'s story telling is really getting to me today.  It took her an hour to eat lunch and that was with me constantly handing her food, asking her to take a bite, etc.  She has been in bed for 15 minutes and it sounds like she's going to forego her nap for storytelling again.  She still needs her nap.  She is a wreck in the afternoons when she doesn't nap.  Does anyone have any suggestions for putting limits on the monologue of a toddler/preschooler when other things (e.g. eating) need to be happening?

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#2 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 12:15 AM
 
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I had that toddler/preschooler and now have that kindergartner. We start with putting verbal limits, explaining the reason, at some point we reinforce by offering a reward (like dessert) or threatening punishment (like taking away a privilege, usually watching his science videos) if he doesn't take a bite like RIGHT NOW. Very un-AP, but as you can see, sometimes we are desperate...


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#3 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 03:56 AM
 
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LOL I had that toddler. And that kindergartner. Now I have that HS Senior.

 

I do remember how aggravating it can be, when you're trying to get other things done (naps, meals, etc.). I used to have her play "The Quiet Game" with me... We'd see how long we could go w/o saying anything. Naptime... I found music helped (something she couldn't sing along to - James Galway always seemed to work, or other calming classical). Meals? Set a time limit and then keep stuff in the fridge for grazing.

 

Remember this... The world is new and exciting to your LOs, and they want to share everything the learn about it with you. That's a good thing that you don't want to discourage. Because there will come a time when they may not be as willing to talk your ear off. Which is exactly the time you want them to.

 

And... There will come a time when you'll miss it.

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#4 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 04:01 AM
 
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No solutions here, just wanted to commiserate.  I'm dealing with this at the moment actually.  Breakfast is on the table and I have to put bites of food in his mouth and now he's actually talking with his mouth full of food - blahblah.gif  He goes on and on for hours in his bed at nap time or night.  Some days it really shoots my nerves nut.gif  Are all kids like this?


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#5 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 12:13 PM
 
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I forgot how bad it was at night -  when at 10 o'clock you want to start screaming "shut up already and go.to.sleep!" But that one has actually gotten so much better. I remember that one of the things we did was insist we'd read a fiction book - he still much prefers non-fiction, but non-fiction gets us in endless interesting discussions, whereas with fiction he has to shut up and listen, which helps calm him down. Also magnesium supplements and sensory input like backrubs, but that's tackling a somewhat different problem really, only in our case it helped him shut up as well.


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#6 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 04:46 PM
 
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Commiserating as well!

I had that toddler, youngster, and now teenager as well as that toddler and 5yo again!

I so get the "Puh-LEASE shut it and GO TO SLEEP!" This is a daily occurrence if dd hasn't gotten sufficient mental stimulation throughout the day. Yesterday was one of those days, a lazy do nothing kind of a day in the morning and then 5 hours of driving then straight home for dinner and bath. This was most certainly NOT enough mental stimulation! LOL She was up until well after 10PM.

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#7 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 04:54 PM
 
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Yep, we've got one of those, too. When she was a toddler, she would talk herself to sleep. We could hear her on the baby monitor, and she would literally fall asleep mid-sentence.

 

Now, long car trips are the killer for me. She's extremely well behaved--entertains herself well, doesn't whine, doesn't fuss. By all usual measures, she's an angel. But she talks the. whole. time. As sweet as it is hearing what's going on in her mind, being in an enclosed space like that, with someone who doesn't turn off, makes me want to scream (Yes, I'm an introvert). 

 

We also play the Quiet Game. She's never won.

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#8 of 20 Old 01-17-2012, 04:59 PM
 
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We also play the Quiet Game. She's never won.



HAHAHAHA! The quiet game makes dd CRY! She cannot stand it, like it's torture or something.

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#9 of 20 Old 01-18-2012, 05:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Tigerle View Post

I forgot how bad it was at night -  when at 10 o'clock you want to start screaming "shut up already and go.to.sleep!"

LOL, I said at exactly 10pm tonight; "I will NOT talk anymore.". In response to what was actually a very interesting hypothesis she had about combustion.
The PP who mentioned sufficient mental activity during the day is echoing our experience. Today we spent all day at the pool. Glorious Summer day (rare at our altitude), heaps of physical activity and DD was exhausted but not much mental activity. So she had a tonne of talking to do from the time we got home until she fell asleep shortly after 10 pm. Here I insert a joy.gif:joy:joy because 10 is so much better than 11 or midnight...

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#10 of 20 Old 01-18-2012, 06:42 AM
 
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hmmm. . . I'll have to experiment with the theory of "enough mental stimulation"  Actually, the only time DS shuts up for a few seconds is when he's listening to a song or story that he's trying to memorize.  I could see how this trait could get him in trouble in a school environment that's moving too slowly for him.


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#11 of 20 Old 01-18-2012, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When we are reading books I have to remind her before reading each page - "I read first and then you can ask/tell me."  Doesn't matter if it's fiction or non - she always has something to say!  I'll have to try the Quiet Game - though I have a feeling she would just refuse to play. I really like the idea of limiting time at meals but we have issues with blood sugar too so - that might create bigger problems.  The not-enough mental stimulation theory is interesting.  I'm actually struggling a bit right now because most of the play dates I have been arranging for her are flopping.  If they come here she refuses to play with them and tries to get me to play instead.  If we go there she mostly watches and then brings me books to read to her.  I'm not as available with the new baby.  She's probably trying to make up for lack of play time with "talk time."  Although I remember it driving me crazy at times before the baby was born too....  

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#12 of 20 Old 01-18-2012, 09:54 PM
 
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The mental stimulation idea is very interesting.  Dd1 used to talk all the time, too.  Then, she suddenly stopped.  Now she is reading tons and tons, and is always thinking about her books.  When she is tired, or bored...she can't stop.  :)


"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#13 of 20 Old 01-23-2012, 06:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by A-time-to-live View Post

When we are reading books I have to remind her before reading each page - "I read first and then you can ask/tell me."  Doesn't matter if it's fiction or non - she always has something to say!  I'll have to try the Quiet Game - though I have a feeling she would just refuse to play. I really like the idea of limiting time at meals but we have issues with blood sugar too so - that might create bigger problems.  The not-enough mental stimulation theory is interesting.  I'm actually struggling a bit right now because most of the play dates I have been arranging for her are flopping.  If they come here she refuses to play with them and tries to get me to play instead.  If we go there she mostly watches and then brings me books to read to her.  I'm not as available with the new baby.  She's probably trying to make up for lack of play time with "talk time."  Although I remember it driving me crazy at times before the baby was born too....  



yeahthat.gif Oh gosh I really hate reading my DS books. That's awful isn't it? But he won't let me finish a page before he tells me an entire story and ask 209348230 questions about that page. Weirdly enough, my DS was a late talker. Not a peep, really, until he was about 30 months old (DD was 2 months). And then he woke up one day last February like blahblah.gif and he literally hasn't stopped since then. Even after I've left the room at night, he'll carry on talking out loud to himself until he just can't talk anymore. What's so funny is that the more DS drives me insane with his need to talk, I've noticed my DH does it too! He always rushes to fill silence with questions about upcoming plans, news he saw or heard, etc. I'm like.... or we could just enjoy the peace? redface.gif But seriously, it feels like DS' mind never stops racing, working on something, and the whole time, he's saying it out loud. No thought internalization yet. 

 

However - he does good with dinner because DH is there and we have a "once you get down from the table you don't get back up" policy.. and a "no water until you've eaten half of your food" policy... things that make him feel it's better to just close his mouth and eat quickly so he can get back to talking. I have also perfected 15 minutes of silence at night - he gets to watch Calliou while I'm putting DD to sleep and if he remains quiet while I do so, he gets to pick the next day's activity. He's picked the next day's activity for like 2 months straight.


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#14 of 20 Old 01-26-2012, 08:15 AM
 
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It occurred to me yesterday that 2yo ds is also talking a lot. He's stringing together 10 or 12 words at a time and while not every word is clear it is clear that he's got quite a lot to say. I am now officially very scared!

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#15 of 20 Old 01-26-2012, 08:39 PM
 
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I have to walk away and hope.  My DD eats in a chair that has a tray that keeps her in it and I leave the area.  At night I hook up a monitor and just let her go at it till she talks herself to sleep.  My DD usually naps from 1130 till 1 or 3.  So, I would put her in bed and let her talk/play and she seemed to fall asleep shortly, but now at 18M is starting to not take naps at all, (she also needs her naps or things get really bad).  It is getting to the point where my husband and I can't even talk to each other.  Not only does she have to be talking, but now you have to be listening, and if you are talking it has to be to her.  bow.gif (hehe)  She will climb up me and get in my face to accomplish this.  If that is not an option, she will start screaming, not the I'm having a fit scream, just a noise that is loud enough to "cover up" whatever you are saying so you then have to look at her and give her the attention.   She is extremely extroverted and very activejog.gif.  I am an introvert and have a moderate amount of energy.  So most days start with caffix.gif move onto hammer.gif and end something like hide.gif.  sleepytime.gif Anyway, just wanted to say I can relate, though I can't offer much help. 


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#16 of 20 Old 01-27-2012, 12:57 AM
 
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Simply divert the child something.
Switch baby attention. Tell's something interesting or turn on music.biggrinbounce.gif

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#17 of 20 Old 01-28-2012, 02:07 PM
 
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DS (3) is a talk, talk, talker.   He is quite the charmer, so other people LOVE it (and usually I do). but sometimes.........nut.gif

It just seems like every part of him is moving ALL the time - mouth, hands, feet, legs, wheels in his head.  Our 2 year old FS was not like this at all;  nor are my friends 3 year olds.  Sometimes I am a tad jealous of the parents kids who can sit quietly in church, and petrified at the things he says when he is up there with the pastor during the children's portion, but luckily most everyone else laughs.  (He really is well behaved, he just thinks anyone up there is trying to have a conversation with him, personally.)

 

 I guess it sounds bad, but he eats breakfast and lunch alone, basically.  We chat while I get meals ready, then I leave him in the dining room while I do chores, etc., generally just out of sight range.  He talks to himself a bit, sings a bit, and eats more.  We do dinner together, but he hardly eats.  Breakfast is his big meal-  I come in when he is finishing up... whenever that is, and we do a calendar and go over our schedule and chat...some more... He won't starve himself, so at some point he will eat.

 

Other times in the day, he NEEDS his attention, and I have to be there, or he throws big-ol fits, but I guess at meals he will eventually be distracted by the food if there is no audience. 


Naps and night;  wow, he needs A LOT of time to talk himself down.  I mean, like, 2 hours-no matter how active we were in the day.  We start naptime around 1:00.  12:30 on a good day.   We potty, read 3 stories, then he gets kisses and stays in his room-sometimes he turns on the cute to try to keep me in there, but I get out.  Fast.  I can hear him talking/singing/reading to himself sometimes over 2 hours (but usually 1.5) before his little brain has settled for sleep-then he usually sleeps for a couple of hours, sometimes up to three; that little brain needs the break, too!  However, he isn't unhappy about being alone, so I go with this 4+ hour routine.  I've tried laying down with him and that is too stimulating.  Occasionally I feel guilty that he ends up in there for soooo long between the calming stage and the actual sleep and I will let him come out after a few hours.  I go get him, like I said, he doesn't get unhappy about being in there.  But boy, he NEEDS the sleep, and I always regret this.  DH and I noticed that if we go in there and piss him off a bit he goes to sleep quicker, but it doesn't seem appropriate to take advantage of this.  Sheepish.gif

 

 

 

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#18 of 20 Old 01-28-2012, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jes h View Post

DS (3) is a talk, talk, talker.   He is quite the charmer, so other people LOVE it (and usually I do). but sometimes.........nut.gif

It just seems like every part of him is moving ALL the time - mouth, hands, feet, legs, wheels in his head.  Our 2 year old FS was not like this at all;  nor are my friends 3 year olds.  Sometimes I am a tad jealous of the parents kids who can sit quietly in church, and petrified at the things he says when he is up there with the pastor during the children's portion, but luckily most everyone else laughs.  (He really is well behaved, he just thinks anyone up there is trying to have a conversation with him, personally.)

 

 I guess it sounds bad, but he eats breakfast and lunch alone, basically.  We chat while I get meals ready, then I leave him in the dining room while I do chores, etc., generally just out of sight range.  He talks to himself a bit, sings a bit, and eats more.  We do dinner together, but he hardly eats.  Breakfast is his big meal-  I come in when he is finishing up... whenever that is, and we do a calendar and go over our schedule and chat...some more... He won't starve himself, so at some point he will eat.

 

Other times in the day, he NEEDS his attention, and I have to be there, or he throws big-ol fits, but I guess at meals he will eventually be distracted by the food if there is no audience. 


Naps and night;  wow, he needs A LOT of time to talk himself down.  I mean, like, 2 hours-no matter how active we were in the day.  We start naptime around 1:00.  12:30 on a good day.   We potty, read 3 stories, then he gets kisses and stays in his room-sometimes he turns on the cute to try to keep me in there, but I get out.  Fast.  I can hear him talking/singing/reading to himself sometimes over 2 hours (but usually 1.5) before his little brain has settled for sleep-then he usually sleeps for a couple of hours, sometimes up to three; that little brain needs the break, too!  However, he isn't unhappy about being alone, so I go with this 4+ hour routine.  I've tried laying down with him and that is too stimulating.  Occasionally I feel guilty that he ends up in there for soooo long between the calming stage and the actual sleep and I will let him come out after a few hours.  I go get him, like I said, he doesn't get unhappy about being in there.  But boy, he NEEDS the sleep, and I always regret this.  DH and I noticed that if we go in there and piss him off a bit he goes to sleep quicker, but it doesn't seem appropriate to take advantage of this.  Sheepish.gif

 

 

 


OMG, this is my 4 yo to a T! She is always talking and moving and talking and then sometimes just making noise for the sake of making noise! She definitely needs lots of stimulation and attention. We actually changed our mind from HSing to PSing because the PS here is great and I honestly cannot give her enough attention and stimulation to keep everybody happy. She thrives around other kids because she has other chatterboxes and playmates. My other daughter is a totally different kid, she can sit quietly, is content to play by herself, very different. It really seems like a personality thing. I will be lurking on this thread for ideas to deal with this!

 


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#19 of 20 Old 01-30-2012, 01:25 PM
 
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This is so common.  And unfortunately my youngest, who is twelve and a half years old, did not entirely grow out of it.  He's got to tell me about the dream he had, or the last chapter of the cat warriors book, etc, always in his very halting, loud style.  It's maddening sometimes.  Especially when I've been alone in the quiet house for a while, then pick him up from school. He starts talking and does not stop.  I love my son.  :-)

 

Dh and I agreed that dd was like a shark (supposedly they die if they can't keep moving).  She was afraid to stop talking, she might go to sleep. Like someone up thread said, she'd constantly interrupt me while I was reading to her. It actually took me a while to notice she was interrupting, I was so intent on answering her questions.  She's seventeen years old and fortunately she lightened up a whole lot. orngbiggrin.gif  Started at age 4 she could at least stop for a while when we asked her to.  But really, she was quite the talker through-out.  The difference between dd and ds is that it is sooo painful to listen to everything ds says, because he's so slow, hesitating and cannot for the life of him, quickly get to the point. Dd at least is a very good communicator. She's actually a great story-teller.  But she still gets the bug and on occasion talks my ear off. 


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#20 of 20 Old 01-30-2012, 05:55 PM
 
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Anyone watch 30 Rock?  There is an episode all about how beautiful people live in a bubble where everyone caters to them whether they deserve it or not.  Tina Fey's character is totally irritated by this and tries to burst the 'bubble' for her boyfriend, but they just break up.

 

DH and I decided tonight that this is where DS lives.  He is cute, and charming, and goes on and on, and runs away from his very sweet teenage gymnastics coach, and rambles on about how MLKJr. looks like a cowboy at church (because in the picture he was wearing a hat...) or whatever, but people just love him more for it.  He is just tooooo darn cute.

 

In real life, I am Tina Fey's character (in more ways than this) and I find myself wanting to burst the bubble;  (as in 'ACK!  NO, he was not 'good' today in Gymnastics!  He ran away from you 3 times and had to be escorted back by another coach!!!'  'ACK!  he was not cute in church!  He totally took over the conversation from the reverend and wouldn't stop talking!'  'ACK!'  'ACK!' 'ACK!').

 

I'm trying to learn to live with someone in the bubble...sigh...

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