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#1 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a sensitive question to ask. I hope you all can forgive me for this.  

 

This is for DS1. We received his acceptance letter a few days ago for school. This is a very good school. However, they are not set up to handle any sort of disability or behavior issue. 

 

If after this testing he has some sort of issue should I notify his school? They will not allow him to attend and it will be the best school for his needs over public school. Am I legally or morally obliged to deny or not offer information about his testing?  At the time of the application I didn't even consider that there might be a learning disability, ADD or something else.  And I still think some of these things will improve with time since I've seen so much improvement over the past couple of years. 

 

I am willing and able to work with whatever comes about but I can't have him not accepted into this school etc. I  am hoping to work hard with him over the summer learning how to help him with his lack of organizational skills. The school gives all of their students a day planner and teaches them how to use it, and follows up daily until the end of third grade. So I think that will also help him. 

 

Can anyone offer thoughts about this issue?  

 

P.S. I got the teacher's evaluation back to submit to the Development Unit.  Mainly her concerns would likely not support a diagnosis of ADD. My scoring also put him just under the diagnostic level needed for a diagnosis.  She wrote her specific concerns:

 

1. lack of organizational skills, can't pack up backpack and get homework packed up, forgets books to take home

 

2. Last out of the class, last done with tests

 

3. Raises hand to ask a question but forgets what he was going to ask

 

4. Doesn't complete assignments if he runs out of time   (has same issue with finishing his lunch, runs out of time)

 

 

Does this sound like just the age (6y 4m) or like a developmental issue?   Yes he needs some OT and we're working on that too. The school board is going to provide this along with his IQ testing, Achievement testing, and other observational type testing etc. 

 

 

 

 


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#2 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 10:00 AM
 
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My personal opinion: As a teacher and a parent of a 2e kiddo in a typical private school, I think it is best to give the school the information you have about your child so the staff can best support him. We fully disclosed my son's Asperger's diagnosis when we applied to our school and I have never regretted it. He is subtly enough affected that we probably could have skipped disclosing, but I feel like it is relevant and important to understanding him fully and serving him effectively. I knew that it was possible that he would be rejected as a result of the disclosure, but I felt like he needed to be in a place that was able to teach him, understanding who he is.

 

If you feel like the school may withdraw the admission if they know about his testing, I wonder if it is the right setting. To be honest, his challenges (as described above) sound like they are things a school can and should be reasonably be expected to work on with a six-year-old.

 

 

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#3 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 12:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by christinelin View Post

My personal opinion: As a teacher and a parent of a 2e kiddo in a typical private school, I think it is best to give the school the information you have about your child so the staff can best support him. 

 

If you feel like the school may withdraw the admission if they know about his testing, I wonder if it is the right setting. To be honest, his challenges (as described above) sound like they are things a school can and should be reasonably be expected to work on with a six-year-old.

 

 


I agree with above.- also as a teacher and parent to a 2e kiddo.

 

If it is enough to impact the possibility they would reject the application, I would consider the placement carefully. Obviously if it is noted on assessment/diagnostic testing then it is something that they wanted to make a note of. 

 

One your DS starts this school, will they dismiss him if he has struggles as outlined in the testing or has behaviors related to the reason for testing?? If so, I would not want to set my child up to possibly get dismissed. I would likely defer enrollment a year and work on getting OT or other skills to help make sure he is as successful as he can be with the skills and support he has had. 

 

If he is struggling to turn in work on time now---- is the private school set up at the same or slower pace than where he is currently? If it is a faster pace, it may be very hard for your DS to keep up and you may see the last to turn stuff in and disorganization get worse.

 

Yes, those sound like challenges common to 6 yr olds. BUT if he is getting OT for them- they are likely much more intense and frequent than expected for his age.

 

One of my DDs struggles with the same things and her teacher has been great. We suspect she has Auditory Processing Disorder, which causes her to have a hard time following oral directions, gets auditorily over stimulated in the classroom so she hears 'everything' instead of just what she should be listening to, and she is unorganized MORE than the standard 6 yr old. The public school makes accommodations for her and also differentiates (most of what) she needs for academic advanced skills. It has worked very well this year with a few minor things that I dont like but are tolerable for now.

 

I want my kids teachers to have as much relevant info as possible on my kids- then they are more likely to be able to accommodate their needs and be aware of the 'why' behind certain behaviors.

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by aishamama View Post

I have a sensitive question to ask. I hope you all can forgive me for this.  

 

This is for DS1. We received his acceptance letter a few days ago for school. This is a very good school. However, they are not set up to handle any sort of disability or behavior issue. 

 

If after this testing he has some sort of issue should I notify his school? They will not allow him to attend and it will be the best school for his needs over public school. Am I legally or morally obliged to deny or not offer information about his testing?  At the time of the application I didn't even consider that there might be a learning disability, ADD or something else.  And I still think some of these things will improve with time since I've seen so much improvement over the past couple of years. 

 

I am willing and able to work with whatever comes about but I can't have him not accepted into this school etc. I  am hoping to work hard with him over the summer learning how to help him with his lack of organizational skills. The school gives all of their students a day planner and teaches them how to use it, and follows up daily until the end of third grade. So I think that will also help him. 

 

 

 

I dont know if you legally have to notify them if it was private testing. I doubt it. BUT I also would assume that they ask for any outside testing-- if you said 'no we did not do any' that is outright lie and if you state ' we did but am not sharing it' it will lead to suspicion on their part that there is a reason you do not want to share it.

 


Yes, you are likely to see improvement over the years- BUT is it at the same rate as developmentally expected (remember the other kids will also be increasing their skills)?? My DD has made HUGE gains in social skills, but there is still a gap between her and other kids  her age. A smaller gap than before since she has made growth/matured and also learned coping skills, but it is still there.

 

I think a day planner for a 1st or 2nd grader (which is likely one of the grades your DS would be in next year) could be potential for difficulty if your DS has trouble finishing assignments. I only state this because the school I work at uses them in 3grade up (teacher led) and the 4th grade class (student led with teacher support) I work in some of the kids still struggle to fill it in (both the act of filling it in and completing it in a timely manner). If writing is slow or difficult for your DS (you did not say) it would be a major chore to complete, not to mention keep organized (if that is a concern). Planners are not done independently until 5th grade in our school as a preparation for middle school.

 

Day planners are good for 3rd grade +, but under that??? Not developmentally appropriate (just in my opinion) for a large majority of kids who are still learning how to keep organized, complete work, basic writing skills, and time management. Could some kids at age 6-9 do it, yes absolutely-- but as a standard expectation for all kids to do by themselves? Hmmmmm....maybe not. A better tool is a monthly calendar sent home for the fridge, or a nightly checklist to be kept at home, or regular set assignments so students KNOW what is due each day (spelling tues, math homework wed and Thurs, writing journal fri, etc). that will help set up healthy study and organizational habits with the help of family support without the add stress of writing it all down in the right location and to recall it all over the course of the day.

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#4 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 12:34 PM
 
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Just using the ADA as a basis for this.

 

There's no obligation to disclose any disability, and medical records are private.  However, if you don't disclose, a disability cannot be used as a way to later avoid disciplinary action or expulsion.


savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

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#5 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 03:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCMichigan View Post


I agree with above.- also as a teacher and parent to a 2e kiddo.

 

If it is enough to impact the possibility they would reject the application, I would consider the placement carefully. Obviously if it is noted on assessment/diagnostic testing then it is something that they wanted to make a note of. 

 

One your DS starts this school, will they dismiss him if he has struggles as outlined in the testing or has behaviors related to the reason for testing?? If so, I would not want to set my child up to possibly get dismissed. I would likely defer enrollment a year and work on getting OT or other skills to help make sure he is as successful as he can be with the skills and support he has had. 

 

If he is struggling to turn in work on time now---- is the private school set up at the same or slower pace than where he is currently? If it is a faster pace, it may be very hard for your DS to keep up and you may see the last to turn stuff in and disorganization get worse.

 

Yes, those sound like challenges common to 6 yr olds. BUT if he is getting OT for them- they are likely much more intense and frequent than expected for his age.

 

One of my DDs struggles with the same things and her teacher has been great. We suspect she has Auditory Processing Disorder, which causes her to have a hard time following oral directions, gets auditorily over stimulated in the classroom so she hears 'everything' instead of just what she should be listening to, and she is unorganized MORE than the standard 6 yr old. The public school makes accommodations for her and also differentiates (most of what) she needs for academic advanced skills. It has worked very well this year with a few minor things that I dont like but are tolerable for now.

 

I want my kids teachers to have as much relevant info as possible on my kids- then they are more likely to be able to accommodate their needs and be aware of the 'why' behind certain behaviors.

 


 

 

 

I think a day planner for a 1st or 2nd grader (which is likely one of the grades your DS would be in next year) could be potential for difficulty if your DS has trouble finishing assignments. I only state this because the school I work at uses them in 3grade up (teacher led) and the 4th grade class (student led with teacher support) I work in some of the kids still struggle to fill it in (both the act of filling it in and completing it in a timely manner). If writing is slow or difficult for your DS (you did not say) it would be a major chore to complete, not to mention keep organized (if that is a concern). Planners are not done independently until 5th grade in our school as a preparation for middle school.

 

Day planners are good for 3rd grade +, but under that??? Not developmentally appropriate (just in my opinion) for a large majority of kids who are still learning how to keep organized, complete work, basic writing skills, and time management. Could some kids at age 6-9 do it, yes absolutely-- but as a standard expectation for all kids to do by themselves? Hmmmmm....maybe not. A better tool is a monthly calendar sent home for the fridge, or a nightly checklist to be kept at home, or regular set assignments so students KNOW what is due each day (spelling tues, math homework wed and Thurs, writing journal fri, etc). that will help set up healthy study and organizational habits with the help of family support without the add stress of writing it all down in the right location and to recall it all over the course of the day.

Here in Nova Scotia, all students from grades one and up have communication books that function much like a teacher led day planner.  In the younger grades, the teacher writes what assignments are due to be passed in the next day, what long term assignments are to be worked on and any messages to parents necessary, such as "trip money" due or "notice to read".  As a teacher's aide and mother of a 2E kid, I do see that many kids with slow handwriting have difficulties finishing the writing at the end of the day, and may need reminders to both put the communication books in their back packs or to show parents.  Children in grades 4 and up here can receive disciplinary measures (such as loss of recess) for not having communication books signed, and certainly, kids with organizational difficulties run into problems more frequently.  That being said, if a child writes slowly, the teacher can allow for more time to complete writing, and kids who are less organized can have a recommendation to the teacher to prompt them to pack the communication book and check the planner.  Learning the skill of planning and organizing is very important, and if led by the teachers in the early grades, I don't see how it could be harmful.  The day planner might operate a lot like the nightly checklist, but with an element of encouraging student responsibility.  I know as a parent, having a communication book that functions as a day planner makes a huge difference in my ability to help my children organize themselves for homework, studying and long term projects.
 

 


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#6 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 04:25 PM
 
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In my case, my son was developmentally delayed. At the time he entered public school "exceptional student" pre-k, one psychologist said he was borderline autistic. The way I handled it was that I didn't put it on his IEP, but I told the staff "in confidence" that he might be autistic. Within a few months, we knew he wasn't autistic and that he just scored low on the CARS because he couldn't talk yet. So, by the time he entered kindergarten I no longer mentioned it to his teachers. 

 

With private school, I don't see why you have to tell them anything legally, but check the paperwork just in case. If it does ask for disclosure, I would consult with an attorney. I have a friend who's son had PDD NOS and he did lots of therapies. When he entered kindergarten at a private school she didn't tell them anything about his previous diagnosis. I don't even know if she disclosed the fact that he went to public school "exceptional student" pre-k. 

 

You just have to go into it knowing that it may be a struggle for him. My son's pre-k teacher told me she was a little concerned that he wouldn't keep up in the magnet school that I got him into (it's a very tough school). He is in third grade now and he is getting by and we never medicated him for ADD. It can be done. Although I do have the support of an IEP and his teachers are all aware of his needs, it is really just a piece of paper. He no longer gets pulled aside for any therapies, and even when he did, it was very brief and not that often. Most of his therapies were done outside of school. Having the IEP doesn't really change much about his day to day experience at school...but it does feel good to have it incase there is ever a problem with grades or conduct.

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#7 of 8 Old 04-04-2012, 10:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCMichigan View Post


If it is enough to impact the possibility they would reject the application, I would consider the placement carefully. Obviously if it is noted on assessment/diagnostic testing then it is something that they wanted to make a note of. 

 

One your DS starts this school, will they dismiss him if he has struggles as outlined in the testing or has behaviors related to the reason for testing?? If so, I would not want to set my child up to possibly get dismissed. I would likely defer enrollment a year and work on getting OT or other skills to help make sure he is as successful as he can be with the skills and support he has had. 

 

If he is struggling to turn in work on time now---- is the private school set up at the same or slower pace than where he is currently? If it is a faster pace, it may be very hard for your DS to keep up and you may see the last to turn stuff in and disorganization get worse.


 

I have a 2e child as well and I totally agree.

 

If they do not want children like him, what is going to happen to him once he gets in? How are they going to handle his day to day behavior and challenges?

 

I do not believe you are under any legal obligation. It sounds like right now you don't have a diagnosis of anything, so there isn't anything to tell.

 

I pick and choose who gets to know what about my DD.

 

However, I do see the school as my partner in educating her. Educating a 2E child is no small feat, and we have to be working as a team. If  I couldn't be honest with them, I'm not sure I would want her there. I wouldn't trust them to respond appropriately to her differences if I couldn't even tell them what her differences are.

 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#8 of 8 Old 04-05-2012, 10:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your views, much appreciated. If something turns out that we cannot work through then I'll disclose, and I'll be fair with him and keep his best interests at heart.  We don't have anything right now.  According to the teacher's comments, I don't see there is even going to be anything show up.  He would not meet the scoring guidelines for ADHD, neither from my evaluation or hers.  Her only concern was about his disorganization, slowness, and writing.  I kind of feel like with a little time and some extra help from us and OT he'll get through. Academics aren't suffering right now so I think we have some time. There is nothing 'alarmingly' wrong otherwise known.

 

 

 

 

 


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