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#1 of 16 Old 05-05-2012, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 16 Old 05-06-2012, 12:48 PM
 
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You could always have him tested to find out. 


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#3 of 16 Old 05-06-2012, 03:11 PM
 
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"Gifted" is an IQ score. The only way to answer your question is to get the kid tested.

 

There are different kinds of gifted and levels of giftedness. Both my kids are gifted -- officially gifted. None the less, some of the the other kids we are around just freak me out because they are so freakin smart.

 

Friday night we went to an event for one of their friends. I hadn't really thought through what the event was -- just where to be and what time to get there. I was a special performance of our city's symphony of music composed by local youth. One of my kids' friends, who is nice kid who I gave a ride to fro the opening of the Avengers, wrote a symphony. He's 16. It was amazing. He's parents seemed equally shocked and amazed. Not even in a proud, bragging way, but more in a "oh shit, what the heck is going on in our kid's head?" way.

 

Like I said, both my kids are gifted. It looks like they will max out their private school and start college early.

 

But not like that. Not like what some kids  do. 
 


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#4 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 10:19 AM
 
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It's true that the only way to get a definitive answer to your question would be to test. But I don't think that getting a definitive answer to the question of whether a kid is gifted is enough of a reason to shoulder the time, expense and risk of testing. There needs to be more payoff than just satisfying parental curiosity. If there's a problem to solve, or if someone is concerned there might be a 2E situation going on, or if there are admission criteria that need to be met, or funding to be qualified for, or a placement that needs to be adjusted, those might be reasons to test.

 

Otherwise, if things at school and in life are humming along okay and there aren't any red flags poking up here and there, I would suggest that it really doesn't matter. Support him in his passions and interests, treat him as the unique little person he is, as you've obviously been doing all along, and that's enough, IMO.

 

Miranda

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#5 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 04:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kids-A-Riot View Post

Hello everybody.  I am quite new at this. 

 

To end the perpetual question, I have decided to get my kid’s IQ tested because he displays so many qualities that I believe he is gifted.  But I nonetheless wanted to throw this question out to parents and/or professionals with experience on this issue:   

 

My question is:

Am I just being an overly doting parent; at awe at my child’s abilities or is he really gifted?  What do you think?

 

[...]

Your thoughts?  Gifted or not gifted?  Thank you in advance. 

Ana 

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Wow, you sound like me 2 years ago. Guess what? I am still wondering where my son stands. I am finally getting comfortable with my personal assessment of him. My son, like yours, is not a prodigy who is writing symphonies in elementary school. But he is very bright. He has had testing but it didn't really give us answers. One psychologist told us that he will probably need to skip a grade in a year or two. A gifted educator who 1st did advanced reading work with him and then did ability testing chose not to admit him to the gifted program in our public schools. The decisions of both were informed by test scores. I have come to the conclusion that my son is straddling the line between clear-cut giftedness and just being a bright kid. (His IQ tested at 129, by the way.)

 

It still leaves me in a position of being unsure of how to get him the correct curriculum at school. They may or may not put him in the gifted program next year. I actually don't find that my most important concern. Gifted services for middle school and high school students in my district are very nice. There are protocols in place to accelerate by subject and to even travel to other school campuses. There are opportunities to take college courses at area institutions and to do on-line learning. In elementary school, they just get pulled out of class once a week for 30 minutes. If he was in that program or not, I would continue to worry about his curriculum. I think his strongest area is Math. And he loves it. If I had my choice, he would do 4th grade math next year. But the school cautions parents against this because the child might "run out of math" before 6th grade! 

 

Anyway, that was all about me and my son so maybe none of that was useful. Just know you are not alone in the I-don't-know-if-he's-gifted-or-not camp. It took me this long to figure it out. And I often had people coaching me by saying, "don't let them tell you he isn't gifted", etc. These well-meaning people didn't understand that I was worried it could be inappropriate and harmful to my son to put him into enriched or accelerated programs he was not a good fit for.

 

I think your child is at least very bright. I think that you just have to be prepared to be very involved with his schooling and be prepared to constantly reassess the situation. My son has had the same wonderful teacher for two years and she has done a remarkable job keeping him challenged. I feel like she really "gets" my son and knows what he needs. I am very nervous about next year. I hope you get a teacher half as good as one of the two my son has had. 

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#6 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 06:21 PM
 
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The "challenging" traits you list remind me of my kiddo.  :-) He is 5 also.  We have also been wavering back and forth about getting him tested privately.  Schools do not want to test, and although his school recognizes that he needs "advanced" material, no one has said anything about testing and I have not brought it up.  He has some other issues going on as well and some of the characteristics that I think may be related to his intense personality are being seen as mental health issues.  The other thing that we see happening in school is that although they give him material that they think is "advanced", it is still very, very easy for him and he has more issues with his behavior when the material is extremely easy.  His behavior did improve some once I talked them into letting him read harder books.

 

My opinion at this ten seconds is that we also will need to test.  Now - coming up with the money......

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#7 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 07:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, that's what we are going to do.....smile.gif

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#8 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 07:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by EarthRootsStarSoul View Post

You could always have him tested to find out. 

Yes, that is what I finally decided.  Thanks.  smile.gif

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#9 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

"Gifted" is an IQ score. The only way to answer your question is to get the kid tested.

 

There are different kinds of gifted and levels of giftedness. Both my kids are gifted -- officially gifted. None the less, some of the the other kids we are around just freak me out because they are so freakin smart.

 

Friday night we went to an event for one of their friends. I hadn't really thought through what the event was -- just where to be and what time to get there. I was a special performance of our city's symphony of music composed by local youth. One of my kids' friends, who is nice kid who I gave a ride to fro the opening of the Avengers, wrote a symphony. He's 16. It was amazing. He's parents seemed equally shocked and amazed. Not even in a proud, bragging way, but more in a "oh shit, what the heck is going on in our kid's head?" way.

 

Like I said, both my kids are gifted. It looks like they will max out their private school and start college early.

 

But not like that. Not like what some kids  do. 
 

Yes.  We are getting him tested.  Thanks.  I guess if he is tested, I suppose it is is either he is or he is not.  If he is, to what degree.  smile.gif

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#10 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post

It's true that the only way to get a definitive answer to your question would be to test. But I don't think that getting a definitive answer to the question of whether a kid is gifted is enough of a reason to shoulder the time, expense and risk of testing. There needs to be more payoff than just satisfying parental curiosity. If there's a problem to solve, or if someone is concerned there might be a 2E situation going on, or if there are admission criteria that need to be met, or funding to be qualified for, or a placement that needs to be adjusted, those might be reasons to test.

 

Otherwise, if things at school and in life are humming along okay and there aren't any red flags poking up here and there, I would suggest that it really doesn't matter. Support him in his passions and interests, treat him as the unique little person he is, as you've obviously been doing all along, and that's enough, IMO.

 

Miranda

Miranda, Thank you for your insights.  It is wonderful to be here in this forum.  What do you think is a risk other than the expense and time? 

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#11 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by jmpierce2005 View Post

The "challenging" traits you list remind me of my kiddo.  :-) He is 5 also.  We have also been wavering back and forth about getting him tested privately.  Schools do not want to test, and although his school recognizes that he needs "advanced" material, no one has said anything about testing and I have not brought it up.  He has some other issues going on as well and some of the characteristics that I think may be related to his intense personality are being seen as mental health issues.  The other thing that we see happening in school is that although they give him material that they think is "advanced", it is still very, very easy for him and he has more issues with his behavior when the material is extremely easy.  His behavior did improve some once I talked them into letting him read harder books.

 

My opinion at this ten seconds is that we also will need to test.  Now - coming up with the money......

Thank you for sharing.  I found a psychologist for $400.  Yup, the money part was the only aspect that made me hesitate not to test.  So great to be here in this forum with folks with similar experiences.  

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#12 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 07:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by beru View Post

Wow, you sound like me 2 years ago. Guess what? I am still wondering where my son stands. I am finally getting comfortable with my personal assessment of him. My son, like yours, is not a prodigy who is writing symphonies in elementary school. But he is very bright. He has had testing but it didn't really give us answers. One psychologist told us that he will probably need to skip a grade in a year or two. A gifted educator who 1st did advanced reading work with him and then did ability testing chose not to admit him to the gifted program in our public schools. The decisions of both were informed by test scores. I have come to the conclusion that my son is straddling the line between clear-cut giftedness and just being a bright kid. (His IQ tested at 129, by the way.)

 

It still leaves me in a position of being unsure of how to get him the correct curriculum at school. They may or may not put him in the gifted program next year. I actually don't find that my most important concern. Gifted services for middle school and high school students in my district are very nice. There are protocols in place to accelerate by subject and to even travel to other school campuses. There are opportunities to take college courses at area institutions and to do on-line learning. In elementary school, they just get pulled out of class once a week for 30 minutes. If he was in that program or not, I would continue to worry about his curriculum. I think his strongest area is Math. And he loves it. If I had my choice, he would do 4th grade math next year. But the school cautions parents against this because the child might "run out of math" before 6th grade! 

 

Anyway, that was all about me and my son so maybe none of that was useful. Just know you are not alone in the I-don't-know-if-he's-gifted-or-not camp. It took me this long to figure it out. And I often had people coaching me by saying, "don't let them tell you he isn't gifted", etc. These well-meaning people didn't understand that I was worried it could be inappropriate and harmful to my son to put him into enriched or accelerated programs he was not a good fit for.

 

I think your child is at least very bright. I think that you just have to be prepared to be very involved with his schooling and be prepared to constantly reassess the situation. My son has had the same wonderful teacher for two years and she has done a remarkable job keeping him challenged. I feel like she really "gets" my son and knows what he needs. I am very nervous about next year. I hope you get a teacher half as good as one of the two my son has had. 

Thank you for your insight.  Yes, I agree, at the very least, he is very bright.  All excellent points.  It is so awesome to be here with folks with similar experience.  I feel like I found my tribe......

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#13 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 08:32 PM
 
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One of my kiddos was tested through the school. It cost us nothing and took next to no time for me. (I did need to write a letter, but that was it).

 

My other DD had a complete neuro psychology evaluation done privately. She's 2E -- both gifted and on the autism spectrum. Extensive IQ testing was part of her work up. Our insurance paid for most of the cost - our out of pocket was $50.

 

Although I shied away from getting my kids tested when they were younger, I'm glad we finally did it. For one Dd, it was part of getting her admitted to the gifted program at school, which was very nice for her. It also helped us understand her better.

 

With my other DD, we had NO idea she was gifted and were quite surprised by the results. We had the eval because of her special needs. Her special needs make it difficult for her to show how bright she is, and how bright she is helps her compensate for her special needs. I feel that especial for kids with ANY flags for LD's or special needs of any sort, testing is really important.

 

An interesting thing I read on IQ said that for people with IQs over 120, more IQ points don't equal more success in life. Success is a combination of finding one's passion and then working one's butt off. Being bright helps, but once an IQ is over 120, it doesn't help seem to matter how high the IQ is. 

 

Chances are that your son is bright enough that it really doesn't matter exactly what the number is, bur rather than he learn to enjoy working at things and that he develops passions. However, I think that understanding how bright a child really is and if there are marked strengths and weaknesses can really help parents and teachers in helping kids develop those key traits related to success. 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#14 of 16 Old 05-07-2012, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

One of my kiddos was tested through the school. It cost us nothing and took next to no time for me. (I did need to write a letter, but that was it).

 

My other DD had a complete neuro psychology evaluation done privately. She's 2E -- both gifted and on the autism spectrum. Extensive IQ testing was part of her work up. Our insurance paid for most of the cost - our out of pocket was $50.

 

Although I shied away from getting my kids tested when they were younger, I'm glad we finally did it. For one Dd, it was part of getting her admitted to the gifted program at school, which was very nice for her. It also helped us understand her better.

 

With my other DD, we had NO idea she was gifted and were quite surprised by the results. We had the eval because of her special needs. Her special needs make it difficult for her to show how bright she is, and how bright she is helps her compensate for her special needs. I feel that especial for kids with ANY flags for LD's or special needs of any sort, testing is really important.

 

An interesting thing I read on IQ said that for people with IQs over 120, more IQ points don't equal more success in life. Success is a combination of finding one's passion and then working one's butt off. Being bright helps, but once an IQ is over 120, it doesn't help seem to matter how high the IQ is. 

 

Chances are that your son is bright enough that it really doesn't matter exactly what the number is, bur rather than he learn to enjoy working at things and that he develops passions. However, I think that understanding how bright a child really is and if there are marked strengths and weaknesses can really help parents and teachers in helping kids develop those key traits related to success. 

Thank you.  I am in complete agreement with what you read that success is a combination of passion and hard work.  The last sentence that you wrote is a slam dunk of what I am trying to do.  The result of the testing will only help me understand him better whether within the confines of the definitions of "giftedness" or not.  

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#15 of 16 Old 05-08-2012, 01:28 AM
 
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Thank you for sharing.  I found a psychologist for $400.  Yup, the money part was the only aspect that made me hesitate not to test.  So great to be here in this forum with folks with similar experiences.  

Test when you have a compelling reason for a test. Not only is it expensive, it's also taxing and time consuming for the child.

My DD was tested as part of a neuropsych exam due to suspected dysgraphia. It cost just the copays for the 5 visits necessary to complete the testing.

My DS was tested by the school psych for consideration of a grade skip.

Both were wrecks after the testing, which spanned several days. It's exhausting for them. I wouldn't test if I were just curious.
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#16 of 16 Old 05-08-2012, 08:39 AM
 
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I agree with cautionary comments about testing. Not only is testing expensive, time-consuming and exhausting, it is not especially accurate at age 5. Accuracy improves by age 7 or 8. It also runs the risk of changing the way teachers and parents react to him ... there was a funky double-blind experiment done in the 60's where IQs were randomly "assigned" to different students but the teachers were not told the scores were random, and their grades dropped or improved in keeping with the pretend IQs: in other words kids lived up or down to the results their teachers believed they had. So if your bright, inquisitive boy turns out to have a real IQ of 108, his teachers may stop treating him as bright, and his achievement at school may drop. On the other hand, if his IQ is 143, the lovely dynamic of delight in his achievement may change as everyone begins to expect brilliance of him. 

 

So there are risks to testing. Don't take it lightly just because you found an inexpensive way of doing it. Have strong reasons for doing it if/when you move ahead. Two of my kids have not been tested (the other two were tested as teens through the school). My untested kids are presumably HG but we have no need to test them.

 

Miranda


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