Calling parents by their first name... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-14-2012, 06:17 PM - Thread Starter
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My DD's teacher informed us that DD (almost 2) doesn't say, "Daddy" when referring to DH, she asks for him by name.   DD uses "Daddy" when talking to DH and around me as well.   I think it is a neat correlation that she made, to address him appropriately with different people.  (We have never even heard her say his name.)  Anyway, her teacher said not to be surprised if she started calling us by our first in permanently.


I think most kids at some point in time would understand their parents have a "name" and experiment with that.  IMO (gifted children or not)  it really seems like such an amazing concept to grasp and use at a young age, and a funny or at least interesting moment at some point or another.  I could completely see a, "Kid's say the darnedest things"  moment.  But, I am just getting the impression that gifted kids and calling parents by their first name...IDK...has some sort of correlation.


Soooo  Is there any truth to gifted kids doing this more, or earlier, or longer, or something?  I looked it up on-line and couldn't find anything other than some general forms and it seemed to me a lot of kids do this in phases, so I'm just curious what the correlation with this and gifted is (if any).  Part of me is curious just to know if it is true.  Part of me is wondering if it really is more likely to happen, and how I might feel about it and approach it.  


Anyway, I thought it might be interesting to hear what others thought of this.

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#2 of 8 Old 06-14-2012, 09:14 PM
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 It hasn't ever occurred to me that giftedness has anything to do with this.... I suspect that most kids try it out and how their parents respond is the main influence on whether or not the habit sticks. I called my parents by their first names from age 3 or so on, and my son has always called me by my first name (well, starting at 2 or 3- can't remember exactly!). I actually like it but I've always told him either way is fine. He calls his grandparents (on my side) by their first names too.

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#3 of 8 Old 06-14-2012, 10:52 PM
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We're around large quantities of gifted children and have watched many grow up. I don't know any gifted kids currently who call their parents by their first name even as teenagers (unless introducing them to others.) When I taught preschool, most of the kids (2-5) knew their parents first names but they wouldn't refer to them by it, even those that were showing undeniable signs of giftedness. I had a boyfriend in college who was profoundly gifted and did call his parents by their first names but they were also just that sort of family (and with step-moms and step-dads all in the mix, seemed easier to go with first names.


I haven't seen any correlation personally. I'd say it shows that your DD is observant certainly but her choosing to use your first names may be more a personality trait.

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#4 of 8 Old 06-15-2012, 06:36 AM
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I dont know about a correlation. It is more of a categorization- kids that like to organize or categorize things this would be appealing.


My DDs would often write/say our first names when making notes/pictures/play acting etc from age 3 on. They learned quickly what label to use when, also the correct label allowed people to know what they are talking about (for example they could clarify THEIR mom- not someone elses).


They do not call us by our first names in our home- though they did a few times through experimentation. Occasionally they still do in a teasing voice or in play/acting/etc. But no- not on a regular basis.



Families that may use first names a lot or as a matter-of-fact may get parent referred to as formal names. It is more of a family style- with neither being right/wrong- just more of a family culture/choice.


DH and I have gently emphasized Mommy/Daddy though since we treasure the names luxlove.gif  after years of infertility. I still get  thrill at a small young voice saying "Mom!"

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#5 of 8 Old 06-15-2012, 07:15 AM
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My DS knows my name, but now when I say, "hey, do you know my name is ***"  He will say, "No it's not.  You are my mother and your name is Mom"  I am not allowed to be anything other than his mom in his world view. orngtongue.gif

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#6 of 8 Old 06-18-2012, 09:08 AM
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DD calls us by our first names when she is trying to get us to pay attention to her smile.gif Its cute, but Im not sure it has anything to do with whether or not she is smart.

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#7 of 8 Old 06-19-2012, 06:55 PM
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My 3yo sometimes calls DH & me by our first names... I don't really mind because it's an infrequent thing (and happens more often around others or when talking to me about DH or vice versa). I never really thought of it as correlated to being gifted but yes, DS and the other kid I know who tends to do this are both very advanced. My friend's DD started calling her by her first name often and I really liked her approach & would use it myself if DS started using my first name more exclusively. What she did was encourage her DD to call her by both: "Mama Jane" (or "Mommy Jane" or "Daddy John" or "Papa John" or whatever). That seems like a great compromise to me, but ultimately I feel like each person should have the final say in what they are called -- so if you only want to go by Mommy, I would just keep reinforcing that.

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#8 of 8 Old 06-19-2012, 08:59 PM
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My DD did this for awhile from like 18 months to about 2 1/2. She just turned 3 and doesn't really do it much anymore, My mother in law would get mad when she would call her by her first name smile.gif. I think its more experimenting. She is on first and last name basis with everyone now but calls Grammy Grammy. She just likes to know for her self smile.gif. I would say chances are gifted kids would probably recognize this earlier.

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