So, they're skipping her. Why am I now so worried? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 03:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I haven't asked for DD to be skipped.  I brought her to the school's attention last year, with the intention of pointing out that she will need some serious differentiation.  (Mostly I just wanted to get the best teacher!)  They tested her, and have now decided to skip her.  She's been in K for 3 weeks.

 

I guess I'm concerned that now, after transitioning to a new school, she's going to have another transition.  And she's young--she just turned 5 in May.  

 

Can anyone lend me their crystal ball, so I can see the future and make sure this is the right decision?  redface.gif


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#2 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 05:13 AM
 
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DS was subject accelerated from kindergarten to 2nd last year, then skipped to 2nd this year. I spent much of my summer fretting the whole-grade skip.

Did you go through the Iowa Acceleration Scale? I keep going back to DS' score of 63, and reminding myself that there really was no other choice. Over the summer, I went back to his WJ scores many many times to see, yeah, 1st just wasn't going to work.

Has the school created a transition plan for her? We had a mid-year subject acceleration, and the plan included who DS would sit with, an aide to walk him to class, and outlined how often the teacher would communicate with us. For his whole-grade skip, our transition plan included how DS would learn the lunch room routines, frequency of screening testing, level of math differentiation, and a meeting date for the next discussion of math acceleration.

If you are changing from half-days to full days, batten down the hatches and plan for a lot of exhaustion. DS has held it together (going from half-day kindergarten to full day 2nd grade) all the way until Saturday morning at which point he completely melted. This Satuday, 5 weeks into school, was the first time we were in the clear.
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#3 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 08:27 AM
 
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My DD skipped at her teacher's recommendation for K to 1st midyear last year & started 2nd grade a few weeks ago.  It took her about 5 weeks to really settle in.  The day was a little longer than K so she was more tired.  Her one weak point was handwriting that she was struggling with.  However, she herself wanted to keep plugging away at it & each week got better and after 5 weeks it was as if she was there all along.  She's had no issues this year in 2nd grade (knock on wood).  I suspect that if she had not had the handwriting issues then the transition would have been near seemless.  Good luck to you & your DD.

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#4 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 09:14 AM
 
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My eldest did a mid-year skip from kindie to 1st at the school's insistence. I think it's great your DD is transitioning so early. Mine didn't move until winter break and she missed the "welcome to 1st grade" period and so had a rough 1st week (rough for her was not knowing where the pencil sharpener was and not knowing that "borrowing/carrying", which she could do easily, was now called "regrouping.") By the beginning of the second week, she was super grateful for the move and has been ever since. You DD will miss the "kindergarten review" period but still be early enough to learn all the specifics of her new grade when it's still normal for kids to be making mistakes and asking questions. Nerves are normal! Questioning yourself is normal! You'll do both for awhile. 

 

DD is 15 and now in an early college program. It's funny, in the beginning, everyone told us what a terrible thing we were doing (people outside the school.) At first we were told how she would have trouble in 3rd grade when her peers would catch up. Didn't happen. Then we were told middle school would be rough socially. Nope, DD didn't find kindred spirits in middle school but she was never bullied, actually quite popular and routinely put in leadership positions by her peers and teachers. Then, come high school, people suddenly act like skipping her was no big deal lol. More than once I've heard "who can't skip kindergarten... kindergarten is easy!" They forget that you don't skip a child who is a little ahead. You skip a child who is a LOT a head... even a lot a head of the grade they are moving too. Ah well, the major thing you learn is to stop listening to everyone else and focus on what is working and not working for your child. If it's any consolation, my kid is thriving and as are all the grade skippers we personally know. Any issues that have been had over the years were about poor fits, not about acceleration... in fact, those "poor fits" would have been that much more exaggerated without that early skip.


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#5 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 06:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the replies.  The funny thing here is that DD doesn't know it's happening, so it is truly just MY nerves!  I think she will be delighted to find out that she is moving to first.

 

Geofizz, I think a transition plan is a great idea. The principal seems to think that introducing her to the teacher the day before will be enough of a plan.  I disagree.  What I originally asked for was a week of half day first grade (I know...I was pushing my luck!).  My dad will be able to pick up DD for lunch--and he plans on doing that until she asks him not to.  I think that's interesting that your DS did 2nd as a subject accel, but then they put him in 2nd full time this year.  Do you think it will be an issue that he has already done the material?  Or did I read that wrong?

 

rusticity, as a teacher I know that handwriting difficulties can be very problematic.  Glad to hear she has gotten over that hump.  In my school, the writing load does not increase all that much from first to second.

 

whatsnextmom, thanks for the perspective.  I really had not considered skipping her after the year began, so when I hadn't heard anything from the principal, I thought it was dead in the water.  I guess the mid-year skip is something that is fairly common?  The principal wants us to decide when the transition will be.  She seems to think that January will be good.  I disagree.  I want it done ASAP, so DD can begin adjusting.  

 

DD REALLY does not fit in where she is.  I know in my gut that this is the right decision.  But it's soooo hard to stand behind that, especially when I consider all the things that could go wrong.  Thanks, everyone.  :)


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#6 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 06:11 PM
 
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I'd probably do the switch all at once, not leaving her straddle 1st and K. See if you can get the daily schedule. Generally things like music are in the afternoon for the younger kids, so taking her home at lunch might not gain much.

Yes, you read that right on the math for me DS. Grrrr. No, I'm not happy because it has him repeating content. We have a meeting in November to talk about the next step. They didn't want him doing the skip and the 3rd grade math all at once. While I see their point, DS would have been fine. We have tons of data to back up the placement data *they* collected.

I've got an educational advocate, so i'll be putting together a game plan before then.
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#7 of 12 Old 09-25-2012, 11:10 PM
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Originally Posted by TinyMama View Post

 

 

Can anyone lend me their crystal ball, so I can see the future and make sure this is the right decision?  redface.gif

 

  My dd skipped 1st and is now in 11th grade.  It was absolutely the best decision for her. 

 

 And here's some interesting reading:

 

www.nationdeceived.org

 

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1653653,00.html


"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#8 of 12 Old 09-26-2012, 06:21 AM
 
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It sounds to me that having the school decide on the skip and then "owning" the decision should work out much better than parents having to push for it and the school dragging their heels every step on the way. At least in case you have to alert them to a problem no-one is going to roll their eyes and snark "we told you being younger would be a problem!" Rather, they might work on resolving it themselves before it even comes to your attention, as they should.

I would definitely put her in full-time right away and deal with the fall-out at home - don't make her path seem more unusual to the other first-graders and alert them to the age difference than you have to. It's early in the year, she can just be a new kid.

 

And just in case it does not work out:

Make sure everyone, including her, knows that she is going to first to try it out, and if she likes it, she can stay. No assessments or grades during the trial period so as not to frustrate her. If she decides she does not like it, it isn't a failure. it jsut wasn't right for her.


MeDH DS1 10/06 DD 08/10 DS2 10/12with SB and
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#9 of 12 Old 10-07-2012, 12:47 PM
 
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This is a really though one.  I know parents who have skipped a child and loved it, and others who regretted it down the road.  I know someone whose son skipped a grade, and he did great academically with skipping, but now he's going to college a year early and his mom strongly feels that he is not emotionally mature enough and she wishes he still had another year of high school left.  So she kind of regrets letting him skip 1st grade. 

 

Anyway, luckily here we have a full-time gifted program so my kids can stay challenged in school without having to skip grades.  I do have to drive them 20 min away to a special school though, and thats a pain sometimes.

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#10 of 12 Old 10-07-2012, 06:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay...here's the report after one full week in first grade.

 

Overall, it has gone really well.  DD is absolutely thrilled to have math homework (although it obviously is not challenging to her--the teacher gave her the test from the first chapter, which DD had not been present for, and she got 100%).  She also seems to enjoy the increased amount of writing, which she is very good at.

 

Socially it is a bit bumpy, but I'm hopeful that it will work itself out.  The children keep asking her why she is only 5, and at first DD didn't have a good answer.  We've worked at getting her comfortable with some "lines," so I think this week will be better.  Maybe they won't even remember anymore.

 

Thanks so much for all of your advice!  Please keep fingers crossed that it continues to be successful!


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#11 of 12 Old 10-08-2012, 07:25 AM
 
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Okay...here's the report after one full week in first grade.

 

Overall, it has gone really well.  DD is absolutely thrilled to have math homework (although it obviously is not challenging to her--the teacher gave her the test from the first chapter, which DD had not been present for, and she got 100%).  She also seems to enjoy the increased amount of writing, which she is very good at.

 

Socially it is a bit bumpy, but I'm hopeful that it will work itself out.  The children keep asking her why she is only 5, and at first DD didn't have a good answer.  We've worked at getting her comfortable with some "lines," so I think this week will be better.  Maybe they won't even remember anymore.

 

Thanks so much for all of your advice!  Please keep fingers crossed that it continues to be successful!

I am glad it went well!!!

 

As for the age thing---- it will likely pass as the novelty wears off. At least in Elem. school- it may reemerge as a topic in Middle or High School.

 

My DD were 5 the first 1/3 of 1st (though they are age placed for grade- our state has a late cut off) and were youngest in the class. A few kids were a few months older, but a few kids were over 12 months older as well.

 

My DD got a lot ' What you did not do K. That is not allowed!!" when kids asked what teacher they had for K and such. Due to a series of weird events ( moving, age cut off, etc) my girls went from PreK to 1st without K. 

 

Socially, we still have bumps in the road- but nothing major at all. Academically-- 2nd grade is absolutely the right place, plus a bunch of their peers in this class are also ahead of grade level so it is nice to have a little cohort. A few classmates are really strong at math and a few at reading/writing (my DDs areas of strength) so it is nice for them to see other kiddos that are strong in different subjects than themselves.

 

 

I hope the rest of the year goes well too!

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#12 of 12 Old 10-08-2012, 12:30 PM
 
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Sounds great.  I wonder if the teacher can point you to a few kids in the class who seem like likely friends.  Get them over for playdates several times to help smooth over the social piece.

 

DS was the talk of the school for the first week of the year, then we had a little mini resurgence now that the school directory is out.  DS has done well with having canned responses to give to people asking questions.  He's reported that the only thing that our canned responses didn't fit for was a classmate from last year telling DS that it was "mean" to not be in their grade anymore.  His response was quite sophisticated for a 6 year old ("The principal says I have to do it," which is quite close to the truth), so all is well.

 

I thought in the second week of the year that this difference would hang over his head for the rest of the time in school.  It's already mostly forgotten.
 

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