I have just stumbled upon this discussion group and I would very much like to introduce myself and ask for some advice.
I am a mother of two lovely little boys, one 3 1/2 year old and one 2 year old. We have a very happy family unit and are a very blessed family. My oldest son has always struck me as being quite (ermmm not sure of the correct or inoffensive terms so please bear with me here) but he's always been quite bright. On his first birthday we have video of him talking in very clear sentences. He is a very observant child and always surprises us with his clarity in communicating, his interests and understanding seem way beyond that of his peers.
He has just started a new preschool (we live in the UK), he has been attending one since 2 1/2 but we have just moved so this is a new one to him, and we're having quite a few issues. The trouble is he has issues fitting in, he has never made friends easily unless its with much older children, he prefers the company of adults and children about 10 years. He gets bored and frustrated easily, he's also very black and white in his views and if he thinks he's right he will express himself vehemently. He's also started to show some sort of obsessive behaviour - he loves cars and likes to put them in a line, but they all have to face the 'correct' way and they all have to be about a cm apart and if they get disturbed, say by his little brother, he gets very upset.
He is obviously so young in some ways and hasn't learned social niceties and because he comes across as being so switched on, it often causes problems - more often than not with family, for example he told my father in law last week that he smells and needs to have a good wash and clean his teeth, well we all know this is true, but we also know we are not meant to say those things!!
Anyway he is now at school has started messing about, at carpet time he refuses to concentrate and pokes children and blows in their ears etc, he also thumped someone the other day because they were pulling apart a soft toy which he knew was wrong so he dolled out some punishment!
I'll just list a few of his milestones (again, wrong word maybe?!) but here we go:
Talking very clearly at a young age
Full sentences 'Birthday cake please mummy' at first birthday
Before he was two he was saying things like 'I'm exuberant mummy'
Two years old could name all the dinosaurs correctly
He's a very sensitive boy and from a very early age would point to peoples faces and say 'why is that man sad mummy'
Its hard to remember when he began doing things but the things he's doing now are:
Asking questions like:
'how does the sun go up and down?'
'why can i see the moon in the day time'
'how does an airplane make vapor trails'
'what does a whale do with its blowhole'
'how does a car engine work'
He prefers factual books rather than the nursery rhymes they read him at preschool, he got told off at school yesterday because the teacher was trying to read him Miss Muffet and he told her 'I'm bored' and walked off, she even kept me behind after to tell me she had problems keeping his attention. But bless him he tried to tell her he wasn't interested and she didn't listen!
He's very interested in which animals lay eggs and which ones have babies.
He reads and points out all the numbers on the buses we pass (and we live in a busy part of London so that is a HUGE past time) he often tells me where they are going too - i like to think he's reading it off the front too but I'm not 100% sure that's the case or if he's just remembering from when I've told him in the past.
he know s his numbers
He can read/recognise a lot of letters
Anyway there are tons of things. I think i would love to have some advice on how to keep him entertained, I'd love to encourage him to read and I think this would be great for him but I'm not sure how you do it. I also would like to ask for some advice on how to convince the school that he's not just a trouble maker, I'm worried that at the moment that they aren't noticing his full potential.
Sorry for the very long and garbled first post and I really look forward to hearing from people in the same boat!
PS I should probably mention my husband is an extremely clever man and is a surgeon, he was a member of Mensa at the age of 8!
It does sound like he's bored. Is there another setting he could be in for preschool?
Otherwise, I don't think he's too young to know what's polite to say and what's not. My gifted child is almost 9yo but I have a non-gifted that turned 4yo last week. And she's pretty precocious. No question that she's said some hurtful things for not knowing they were hurtful, but they were able to be explained to her and she understood. Unless yours also has social deficits, that shouldn't be a problem and I'm wondering if you realized these things would need to be spelled out for him this early...?
I have no other advice because we didn't find the answers you're looking for and it led us to pulling ours out of school "until we find a better setting". It's now 5 years later and he is still home (which I think poses a problem in the UK but can't recall).
Heather - Wife , Mommy & Health & Wellness Educator, Speaker & Consultant
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In regards to what he said to his grandfather, we obviously explained as soon as we could in private about things we can and can't say. Now he likes to say 'we're all the same but a bit different'. He is just a very observant child and says things as he sees them.
Thanks for the comment.
Your son certainly does sound gifted. I'm sure he is very fun. I homeschool my two gifted here in the States, and it has been pretty easy -- much easier I think than it would have been to have them in school. Is there a homeschooling community there? (I would LOVE to homeschool in London! Think of all the possibilities!) Seriously, homeschooling gifted kids can work very, very well if you are lucky enough to be in a position to do it.