I'm not sure how to handle this appropriately and effectively. DS 3.5 years old becomes so aggitated and upset when someone says something that is incorrect or says it incorrectly. He shouts at 2 year old to adults, " NO! It's not XXX it's XXX!" It's not like he's trying to seem right or smarter than them, he just can't handle the imperfection. I don't know how to ease his anxiety and get him to stop correcting others. He even corrects the pronunciation of 2 year old. And now, some children are figuring out that this is a way to puxh his buttons and are doing it on purpose to get a reaction out of him. Anyone else have experience with this?
Life is strange and wonderful. Me , DP , DS (3/09) , 3 and 4
Sorry, I haven't got any helpful suggestions, because I think ther isn't any way to help this. You are probably in for the long haul.
However, you may enjoy this thread I started a couple years ago - you are definitely not alone!
This is actually pretty typical behavior for the age. Work in a preschool class and you'll get corrected 20 times a day on SOMETHING. It can just sound more obnoxious with kids who are correcting grammar than kids who are correcting adults and friends on more age-expected details like saying something is blue when it's actually more purple, or if it's really time for lunch and you said "snack," if someone comes into a store with no shoes on, ect. Kids this age are sorting the world and when something is out of place or inconsistent, they tend to talk about it.
Like with any other preschooler, you need to really push the compassion aspect. Start asking, "how do other people feel when they are corrected in public?" "Did you know what he meant and if so, why was it important to correct them?" "Were you trying to help or were you trying to be right?" It's also important to keep talking about his approach. Does he like to be shouted at when he makes a mistake? I imagine that is not how people talk to him, he should not talk to others that way.
All you can really do is keep expecting appropriate behavior. Expect him to apologize for shouting or for embarrassing others. Keep talking to him about it. Most kids do outgrow it if they are expected to. Make sure he gets positive reinforcement when he's polite and helpful in his comments.