Are these 'gifted' kid things or 'regular' kid things? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 04-25-2013, 01:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We were just on vacation and people seemed amazed at what my son can do at his age. I've never paid too much attention to the timing of his milestones because I know kids reach them at different times anyway, so why stress myself out, and also that just being advanced in certain areas doesn't mean much, or necessarily make them "gifted", but for anyone with experience, does this seem out of the ordinary?

 

He just turned 12 months and can

Clap his hands twice at the right times for the "happy and you know it clap your hands" song.

Hums the tune to the "99 bottles of beer" song (after hearing it once from me on the plane)(not all 99 lines, maybe 5 lol).

Brings me a diaper every time when he poops, even if it's in a place he's not familiar with (they were in my beach bag he's never seen before but must have assumed they'd be there).

If something is too loud he points to what is loud and then his ears, if I'm not looking he pulls on my clothes until he has my attention and does it. 

He figured out by himself how to turn on my MacBook (certainly wasn't taught that as I wish he wouldn't go near it lol).

Can fit 12 shapes into his shapes sorter.

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#2 of 30 Old 04-25-2013, 02:17 PM
 
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regular kid things

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#3 of 30 Old 04-25-2013, 06:24 PM
 
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It is very unusual for a 12-month-old to be able to carry a tune enough to sing on-pitch, so if he's singing in tune he's definitely ahead of the curve. The shape sorter thing seems advanced too. The rest don't strike me as particularly outside the realm of normal.

 

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#4 of 30 Old 04-25-2013, 06:34 PM
 
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My child was very regular, and could have turned on the mac book, done a few of the shapes (or at least known kinda where they are supposed to go) , and pulled at my clothes to get my attention.

 

Would NOT have been able to hum to a tune.  She could have done the hand clap thing.  In fact, most of my daycare babies can do that.  But, not follow along with something like 99 bottles of beer.  Or any other complicated song.  

 

Mine couldn't/wouldn't have brought me a diaper...even if I asked for it....even if I pointed to it....even if I placed it in her hand and bribed her.  

 

If something was too loud, she'd have just cried and complained about it with lots of drama.

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#5 of 30 Old 04-25-2013, 09:56 PM
 
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Yes, I agree with Miranda. The ability to carry a tune is atypical and the shape sorter is advanced. The other stuff seems in the normal range. 


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#6 of 30 Old 04-25-2013, 10:13 PM
 
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I think it's exciting that he is so musical.  I don't remember my kids humming at 12 months.  Honestly, I can't remember much about 12 months for either of them, but perhaps I wrote some things down.  I do remember that my older child could definitely not talk around that age, and she didn't end up talking much until she was about 2.5.

 

I read years ago that children who are exposed to music as infants are more likely to develop perfect pitch.  I never played a lot of music in my house, but I sang to them every day.  Pitch matching is probably like other things, but even when children can't match pitches at an early age, they may go onto develop it later.  My older daughter seemed to be able to hold a pencil and draw at an early age.  She drew faces on a stack of index cards when she was around 18 months old, and I sent one to everyone in their Christmas cards.  We joked she would become a good artist.  And, interestingly enough, she has quite a talent for art, and recently won a Scholastic Art & Writing award for a drawing she did.  So maybe he will end up having musical talent. 

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#7 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 02:53 AM
 
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I too think your baby is showing some signs that he may be musically inclined. More importantly, it sounds like you and your boy are very connected to each other and that makes a world of difference. 

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#8 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 04:20 AM
 
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Agree with Miranda and whatsnextmom - sounds like you may have a musically gifted child on your hands, which is very sensitive to noise, and is advanced in cognitive and fine motor skills, too, as evidenced by his facility with the shape sorter.

 

I was very disappointed when my oldest wasn't able to carry a tune as a toddler, and was so sensitive to noise AND music he even stopped me from singing to him (he'd cry inconsolably, saying "it's too sad!" when I sang lullabies). He started asking for funny songs as a preschooler and enjoyed "singing" the songs he learned in school - though they were almost unrecognizable to me, and I worried that he might have inherited my MIL's genes, who can't carry a tune to save her life.

 

The conductor of my choir comforted me saying "you can't tell until they're five" - meaning, as with all things gifted, that you can tell early on if a child IS gifted if they show signs the way yours does, but can't tell that the child ISN'T gifted (or, as in the case of my inlaw's family, truly tone deaf - rare, but it exists, about 5% of the population, and yes, I felt the need to research that one) until they are five and STIll can't carry a tune even though you expose them to (tuneful) music regularly.

 

He started singing in tune shortly after turning five so there!

My DD, on the other hand, has been singing mostly in tune for a while.


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#9 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 04:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses smile.gif
It's interesting that everyone seems to be picking up on him maybe having a musical talent, I would have thought those would be the normal things. Everywhere we go people comment on his love for music. He dances (and has pretty good rhythm! smile.gif) and if he sees an instrument, he's totally drawn to it... He's able to play the first 5 notes of Fur Elise (maybe more but that's all I can show him lol)
I sadly have no musical talents and couldn't carry a tune in a bucket but I listen to a lot of music... I wonder if maybe that's why he likes it?
Hopefully I don't ruin him with my off-key singing. I've been trying to keep it simple with thing I can handle like the ABC song and Tony Chestnut because anything else coming out of me sounds like an animal being tortured but he seems to enjoy it anyway.
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#10 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 05:37 AM
 
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I sing horribly, I mean really horribly, and I have a child with musical talent. If he has an ear for music, you singing won't hurt that, and if he doesn't (though it sounds like he does), the way you sing wouldn't help it.
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#11 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 07:57 AM
 
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Agree with the others - music and shape sorting are the standouts. really cool music gifts, btw! Like Tigerle says, you can tell if a child is gifted, but can't say they aren't! smile.gif
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#12 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 04:28 PM
 
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escaping there are two kinds of gifted kids. one who show their giftedness, ones who dont. sometimes we have no clue what to look for. for instance who would say dd not obeying me is a gifted thing. dd refused to believe a cat says miaow. a cat always says hiss. coz that's what our cat does. 

 

so just coz there is nothing outstanding - doesnt mean anything. esp. academic. dd was not outstanding. didnt read a book till k. before that she could read words. but at 2 she'd sit with the head gardner and spend hours learning about the sprinkler system. 

 

so there are other ways of knowing. her depth of questioning was outstanding. 

 

when dd was one i didnt think gifted coz she didnt have very obvious signs. i thought she was different. 

 

now she is different and gifted. 


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#13 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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escaping there are two kinds of gifted kids. one who show their giftedness, ones who dont. sometimes we have no clue what to look for. for instance who would say dd not obeying me is a gifted thing. dd refused to believe a cat says miaow. a cat always says hiss. coz that's what our cat does. 

 

so just coz there is nothing outstanding - doesnt mean anything. esp. academic. dd was not outstanding. didnt read a book till k. before that she could read words. but at 2 she'd sit with the head gardner and spend hours learning about the sprinkler system. 

 

so there are other ways of knowing. her depth of questioning was outstanding. 

 

when dd was one i didnt think gifted coz she didnt have very obvious signs. i thought she was different. 

 

now she is different and gifted. 

 

Well that just throws a wrench into things! lol

 

I was just having one of those moments like Homer had on the Simpson in the "How Lisa Got Her Sax" episode... where they're told their daughter has a gift and they have to nurture it but Homer has no idea how.

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#14 of 30 Old 04-26-2013, 05:38 PM
 
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Well that just throws a wrench into things! lol

 

I was just having one of those moments like Homer had on the Simpson in the "How Lisa Got Her Sax" episode... where they're told their daughter has a gift and they have to nurture it but Homer has no idea how.

the point - or at least for me - i just ignored the whole gifted thing. it was too hard. i was getting sucked into the meet the gifted need. 

 

so i chose to meet dd's needs. some needs i could not meet. dd is musically and rhythically gifted. give her anything and she can pick it up. be it a tune, a dance step or a soliloquy. i couldnt afford any classes. 

 

i just focused on dd's needs. when i had to go to work i looked for a completely play based dc. dd loved it there. hated leaving mommy but loved the center. she refused in home care.

 

all you do is love them and stand by them. they dotn sleep? ok dont force them. they need you to read the book a thousand times. roll your eyes and do it.

 

in dd's class the thing i have noticed with the gifted group and the non gifted group (this could just be there school thing) gifted kids needed more emotional support. they understood mature things but didnt have the emotional maturity to understand them. and therefore you find out where to draw the line. do they need a hug or a tough boundary. do they really need help or are they playing you.


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#15 of 30 Old 04-28-2013, 07:52 AM
 
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My son could sing a few songs like Twinkle Twinkle by 12 months. But his dad and I are musicians, and he surrounded by music. I definitely think singing songs with good pitch is accomplishable for a 1-year-old, but that not many children are exposed to music enough to be able to do it.

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#16 of 30 Old 04-29-2013, 06:16 AM
 
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I always find these questions interesting it honestly never occurred to me to wonder whether my kids were gifted. They did things when they did them, and I never noticed if it was early compared to other kids. I can tell you that, in hindsight, yes, they were somewhat advanced in some areas. But not in the knock your socks off, can't ignore there is something going on kind of way. I think if one of them had started reading at 2, then I might have clued in, but my daughter didn't read until 7, but it turns out she is PG. So I just want to chime in that you can't always know early!
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#17 of 30 Old 04-29-2013, 06:21 PM
 
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Yes, and I also wonder too what drives us needing to "know" this about very young children. IF my daughter had been formally identified as gifted before she was (at age 9) I can't think of one thing I would have done differently. And if you asked her about being gifted, I think she would tell you it's a mixed bag, some positives, lots of challenges too. Her asynchronous development is also especially challenging for me, and not something I would seek out if I had a choice about it.
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#18 of 30 Old 04-29-2013, 10:40 PM
 
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Yes, and I also wonder too what drives us needing to "know" this about very young children. IF my daughter had been formally identified as gifted before she was (at age 9) I can't think of one thing I would have done differently. .

For me it wasnt a 'needing to know'. it was meeting her needs. and once the ped. put the thought in my head... aaaaaaah i breathed. why? coz i could not find support in regular mom's group. sometimes it was so embarrassing. like the time when a mom was beating up her son with her tongue coz he couldn't do things my dd could do. i could go to online support groups and figure out how to keep my dd entertained. how to help her. 

 

gifted issues are different. even for a 1 year old or a 2 year old. 

 

biggest lesson learnt. dont say no. say no + explanation. and most of the time when most kids wouldnt understand dd did. 

 

while other kids ran around in the park, it helped to not feel weird that my dd was having a conversation about dog breeds with a parent. 

 

i had a place to go to find help with entertaining dd. while other kids were doing shape sorters, dd was taking the vaccum apart. 

 

i have done a LOT of things differently for dd. however inherently its all the same. love and hugs. but looking back man i could have done so many things different. 

 

HOWEVER it was a huge reality check babysitting other kids her age. dd would make me playdough pretend cereal in a bowl. tried that with a friend of hers and he actually ate it. eeeeh!!!!

 

honestly for me gifted has not been something to brag about. it is so exhausting.


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#19 of 30 Old 04-30-2013, 11:56 AM
 
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For me it wasnt a 'needing to know'. it was meeting her needs. and once the ped. put the thought in my head... aaaaaaah i breathed. why? coz i could not find support in regular mom's group. sometimes it was so embarrassing. like the time when a mom was beating up her son with her tongue coz he couldn't do things my dd could do. i could go to online support groups and figure out how to keep my dd entertained. how to help her. 

This. For some of us, it matters. It helps. It's not about a green light to hothouse them, it's about understanding their nature and their needs. 

 

For those of you that didn't/don't feel the need to know, it can come across as pretty negative when you respond to a parent's questions with, "Why do you need to/want to know this?" We're all trying our best.

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#20 of 30 Old 04-30-2013, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This. For some of us, it matters. It helps. It's not about a green light to hothouse them, it's about understanding their nature and their needs. 

 

For those of you that didn't/don't feel the need to know, it can come across as pretty negative when you respond to a parent's questions with, "Why do you need to/want to know this?" We're all trying our best.

 

yeahthat.gif

 

I would just like to provide an environment for him where he can identify with other kids. I'm in a city where I have a selection of so many different schools, daycares, sports, music programs, you name it, that I'd like to know as much about him and his abilities to get the most out of it. 

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#21 of 30 Old 04-30-2013, 10:40 PM
 
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I would just like to provide an environment for him where he can identify with other kids.  

 

What worked for us in retrospect was that we enrolled DD at a mom/tot program open to children from 12 to 36 months old at a Waldorf school when she was barely 12 months old. She could hardly walk and other children were at least a year older. Although we got a comment here and there about her abilities from other parents, the teacher who was fabulous in every way redirected the conversation to something else. We felt very comfortable there for the whole year. The following year, most of the older children had moved on to the nursery school and her new classmates were her age-mates and we had a new teacher. We got out of there as fast as we could. It was just a bad fit and we found another program that had academic themes (not skills). She doesn't blend in too well with other children at the new program but she adores her teacher so it doesn't seem to matter much. DD always preferred to play with bright boys who are about two years older. She loves participating in elaborate imaginary plays, she loves their toys, and she loves that she gets her way because their mom tell them to be nice to the "little baby girl." This tendency is something we are actively trying to get away from since I don't want DD to be that girl who doesn't get along with other girls. 

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#22 of 30 Old 05-01-2013, 06:15 AM
 
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yeahthat.gif

 

I would just like to provide an environment for him where he can identify with other kids.  

 

What worked for us in retrospect was that we enrolled DD at a mom/tot program open to children from 12 to 36 months old at a Waldorf school when she was barely 12 months old. 

 

Yes, multi-age groups are often good environments where it's easier to find a good fit.  For extra-curriculars, we had a lot of success with drama groups, dance and music. Activities like chess or gaming can also level the field with respect to age, since ability matters more.

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#23 of 30 Old 05-01-2013, 07:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What worked for us in retrospect was that we enrolled DD at a mom/tot program open to children from 12 to 36 months old at a Waldorf school when she was barely 12 months old. She could hardly walk and other children were at least a year older. Although we got a comment here and there about her abilities from other parents, the teacher who was fabulous in every way redirected the conversation to something else. We felt very comfortable there for the whole year. The following year, most of the older children had moved on to the nursery school and her new classmates were her age-mates and we had a new teacher. We got out of there as fast as we could. It was just a bad fit and we found another program that had academic themes (not skills). She doesn't blend in too well with other children at the new program but she adores her teacher so it doesn't seem to matter much. DD always preferred to play with bright boys who are about two years older. She loves participating in elaborate imaginary plays, she loves their toys, and she loves that she gets her way because their mom tell them to be nice to the "little baby girl." This tendency is something we are actively trying to get away from since I don't want DD to be that girl who doesn't get along with other girls. 

 

I know what you mean! My son gravitates towards older girls. I think it's because they're more gentle and have about the same skill set. Kids his own age don't really do much yet so he ends up wandering off and playing by himself if there are no older kids to play with. If he sees some older girls walking around, putting things in their purses, playing dress up, drawing, etc. He's all over that. While we were on vacation we were at a resort with a super kids play area, they had tons of toys, and kids of all ages... he tried to play with the boys at first but the 2-3 year olds were way too rough for him. One blasted him with a water toy which made him cry, one ripped his toy out of his hand and when his dad corrected him and instructed him go over and give it back, he just threw it at him and walked away. He looked at me with this heartbreaking "what did I do to deserve that?" look on his face and then started bawling... When he's a little older, I'd like him to work on being able to emotionally handle being roughed up during normal play. I know the kids shouldn't throw toys at each other, but it happens and it shouldn't ruin his day every time.

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#24 of 30 Old 05-01-2013, 11:05 AM
 
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When he's a little older, I'd like him to work on being able to emotionally handle being roughed up during normal play. I know the kids shouldn't throw toys at each other, but it happens and it shouldn't ruin his day every time.

 

This is what DD does these days when she plays with 2 to 3 year olds who haven't mastered the art of sharing. When a toy she really wants to play with is taken up by someone else who doesn't want to share, she gives them a look and walks away and starts playing with something else and makes it look really, really fun. Then the child who was engaged with the toy she wanted usually comes over wanting to take a turn. DD gives up the toy with a smile then quietly plays with the toy she actually wanted. 

 

When this strategy doesn't work, she goes over to the other child's parent with a really sad puppy face. 

 

I often worry about her. If she is into manipulating other people at age 2, imagine her as a teenager.  

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#25 of 30 Old 05-01-2013, 02:49 PM
 
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My newly 15month old knows how to swat cockroaches with a slipper ROTFLMAO.gif... The singing  is definitely ahead of the curve. 

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#26 of 30 Old 05-06-2013, 09:19 AM
 
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I have a "gifted or normal" question for you guys. I have a 1.5 year old. Something fell on my head the other day. My daughter noticed, said "Make it better" and kissed me. I said thank you, but Mommy's head still hurts. She ran to her father in the other room yelling, "Daddy, Daddy! Mommy hurts!" and pointing in my direction. At 1.5, is that normal/average or is me being hurt a complicated concept to comprehend and take action over? Please be honest.

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#27 of 30 Old 05-06-2013, 04:41 PM
 
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I have a "gifted or normal" question for you guys. I have a 1.5 year old. Something fell on my head the other day. My daughter noticed, said "Make it better" and kissed me. I said thank you, but Mommy's head still hurts. She ran to her father in the other room yelling, "Daddy, Daddy! Mommy hurts!" and pointing in my direction. At 1.5, is that normal/average or is me being hurt a complicated concept to comprehend and take action over? Please be honest.

I don't know. My 16 month old understands hurt and ow, bruises and scrapes (and can say and sign about it), but she's a smart cookie so...I dunno what's normal anymore!!
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#28 of 30 Old 05-07-2013, 08:13 PM
 
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Well, it is clearly normal for your daughter, yes? That's really all that matters.
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#29 of 30 Old 05-11-2013, 05:27 PM
 
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This is a pretty interesting read, focusing on identifying musically gifted children:

 

http://www.helenlancaster.com/Documents/Identifying%20the%20gifted%20in%20music.pdf


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#30 of 30 Old 06-04-2013, 01:14 PM
 
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My daughter sang herself "happy birthday" on her 1st birthday in perfect pitch. It was kind of amazing. She has an amazing memory - especially auditory - and is extremely artistic.

Have fun with your gifted sweetie smile.gif
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