Who tests a child before kindergarten? The district? Private testing? What do they ask about? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 10-07-2013, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
nextcommercial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My friend's four year old son is very smart.  He learns things much faster and with much more intensity than other kids his age.  He's friendly and polite to everyone.

 

However, he doesn't make friends like other kids.  They just don't "get each other".  He is as baffled by other kids as they are of him.

 

In some ways, he immature.  He likes his little world of pretend, yet he reads, writes knows world maps, U.S Maps, math...etc...  He has long detailed conversations with anybody who will listen to his information.  He can become almost obsessive about learning something new until he's learned enough to satisfy him.  He moves on to the next thing, usually it's a transition into something similar, but slightly different.  For instance, he started with trains, then bridges, then islands, and now continents.  

 

The school district he is in doesn't have a great gifted program, but the next district over not only has one, but it has two for grade school and one for high school.  So, they could move before first grade.  (no gifted program until first or second grade)

 

His parents worry that he won't be able to make friends in a normal school setting, and that he will become withdrawn because other kids don't want to hear him talk so much.  (he does love to talk)  They will want to just play, or work, and he has a hard time doing whatever everyone else is doing.  Even if it looks fun.

 

Mom says there is very little real information on the internet that answers her questions, and she feels even more convinced that he will never fit in anywhere.  But, she says testing can cost $700.  The school district they live in says they don't test until March of first grade.  The district they don't live in will test early, but only if you live there.  


What if anything should they do?

nextcommercial is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 10-08-2013, 06:02 PM
 
moominmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In the middle of nowhere, at the centre of everything.
Posts: 5,679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 63 Post(s)

He's only four. I wouldn't be second-guessing the future at this point. None of my kids related well to four-year-olds, not until they were 10 or 12 and had the maturity to understand their developmental limitations and accommodate their immature needs. As they got older, their agemates became more rational and they found it much easier to relate to them. 

 

Personally I've chosen testing only when it was required for some specific end, like for admission to a specific program or as part of a learning disability workup. It's notoriously unreliable prior to age 7 or so, which is why most school districts don't consider doing so until that age. Some of my kids were tested as teens, when they entered school. Two of them haven't been tested ever. They're quirky as heck, but we've got lots of creative accommodations both via homeschooling and through our tiny no-gifted-program rural under-resourced school without testing. 

 

I wouldn't borrow trouble. Do the best they can for him now, think a year or so ahead, that's all. Kids change. Schools change.

 

Miranda

grumpybear likes this.

Mountain mama to three great kids and one great grown-up

moominmamma is online now  
#3 of 5 Old 10-08-2013, 06:16 PM
 
KCMichigan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
 

 

 

In some ways, he immature.  He likes his little world of pretend, yet he reads, writes knows world maps, U.S Maps, math...etc...  He has long detailed conversations with anybody who will listen to his information.  He can become almost obsessive about learning something new until he's learned enough to satisfy him.  He moves on to the next thing, usually it's a transition into something similar, but slightly different.  For instance, he started with trains, then bridges, then islands, and now continents.  

 

 

Hmmmmm.....sounds like one of my girls. They have moved from obsession to obsession from a very young age. They often bridge off one another, but can also leapfrog randomly.  She never was interested in trains or bridges...but continents, maps, states, etc lasted a long time.

 

That aside, the intensity and duration and depth of the obsession is what is more critical than the obsessions themselves. 3/4/5 year olds are notoriously obsessive! If it is interfering in his enjoyment of other then it is  a huge red flag or if he learns all he can (including material above wave level)

 

I work with 3/4 yr olds. Common high interests are trains, blocks, cars, dolls, dress-up, animals, space, princesses, food, and vacations/home events. 

 

Talkativeness is also not unusual at 3-6 (or even older). Most kids are OK with talkative to be honest. 4 yr olds pretend- that is not immature either, it shows a rich imagination.

 

Bright kids are intense- has she read about intensities?

 

The school district he is in doesn't have a great gifted program, but the next district over not only has one, but it has two for grade school and one for high school.  So, they could move before first grade.  (no gifted program until first or second grade)

 

Worth considering a move- if and when they get to 1st grade and still have worries. There is  A LOT of growing between 4 & 6/7. Social skills really build and grow. What seems huge at 4 may or may not be huge a few years later.

 

His parents worry that he won't be able to make friends in a normal school setting, and that he will become withdrawn because other kids don't want to hear him talk so much.  (he does love to talk)  They will want to just play, or work, and he has a hard time doing whatever everyone else is doing.  Even if it looks fun.

 

Has he done preschool and/or any social group settings? They do take time for most kids to get used to. Also, young kids (3-8) are often fairly OK with differences, quirks, etc as long as the other kids are not aggressive. 

 

You state he is polite and gets along well-- all that works in his favor.

 

Does he always do his own thing? Does it look fun to him (or to the adults)? Does he have a hard time because he is obsessive? It is hard to tell from your descriptions and the way he reacts may give her some new tools to help him build up social skills.

 

Mom says there is very little real information on the internet that answers her questions, and she feels even more convinced that he will never fit in anywhere.  But, she says testing can cost $700.  The school district they live in says they don't test until March of first grade.  The district they don't live in will test early, but only if you live there.  

 

What questions does she have? There is no crystal ball to know what will or will not happen. It is tough. There is no way to know what the future holds and/or if a kiddo will fit in or not. Or if they find similar friends, or friends that are not like them but  are supportive of quirks/interests.


What if anything should they do?

 

I would just keep learning & letting him learn. Plan only as far ahead as she needs to- plans can change and educational plan that works now may or may not work in the future. 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by moominmamma View Post
 

He's only four. I wouldn't be second-guessing the future at this point. None of my kids related well to four-year-olds, not until they were 10 or 12 and had the maturity to understand their developmental limitations and accommodate their immature needs. As they got older, their agemates became more rational and they found it much easier to relate to them. 

 

Personally I've chosen testing only when it was required for some specific end, like for admission to a specific program or as part of a learning disability workup. It's notoriously unreliable prior to age 7 or so, which is why most school districts don't consider doing so until that age. Some of my kids were tested as teens, when they entered school. Two of them haven't been tested ever. They're quirky as heck, but we've got lots of creative accommodations both via homeschooling and through our tiny no-gifted-program rural under-resourced school without testing. 

 

I wouldn't borrow trouble. Do the best they can for him now, think a year or so ahead, that's all. Kids change. Schools change.

 

Miranda

I totally agree with Miranda.    Testing at 4 is not generally suggested unless needed for programs/schooling for the reasons Miranda explained.

 

I thought the same thing 'dont borrow trouble'. He is 4.

 

 

I am looking through a lens of having 4 years olds that both were reading, had quirky behavior, and one was in Spec. Education programming. Now at 7, they are doing VASTLY different than I imagined they would a few years ago. Are they quirky- yes. Do they have friends- yes. Is the school meeting their needs-- mostly. and MOST IMPORTANT Are they happy & learning-- yes.

grumpybear likes this.
KCMichigan is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 10-08-2013, 10:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
nextcommercial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks.  I will suggest this.  

 

I "get" where she is coming from.  We all imagine our kids running off to the school field and having fun with lots of friends.  She's picturing him with nobody to run off with, nobody to sit with at lunch.  I think she just wants him to be happy and liked. 

nextcommercial is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 10-09-2013, 05:12 AM
 
KCMichigan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 922
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
 

 

 

I "get" where she is coming from.  We all imagine our kids running off to the school field and having fun with lots of friends.  She's picturing him with nobody to run off with, nobody to sit with at lunch.  I think she just wants him to be happy and liked. 

 I think almost  ALL mom/dads/caregivers worry about this!!:)

 

"Lots" of friends is also something to watch for parent expectations. Some kids have a few or one close friend and others have scores of friends. It is not the quantity but quality of the friendships. I ,myself, enjoy a few strong friendships. DH is one of those '1,000' friends people! Both of those support networks fit our personalities- it is the same with kids!

grumpybear likes this.
KCMichigan is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off