Struggles with my gifted teen - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-13-2014, 09:32 AM - Thread Starter
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Let me give you some background on my son. He is 16 years old and is of course very intelligent. He is also supermodel handsome (I have seen middle aged ladies checking him out. EW!  lol). It was in the 9th grade he began trading stocks. Since then he has become very successful. sometimes he will make a few hundred dollars a day. That's great but it makes dealing with him impossible. He hates arguments when I disagree with him he always has a very convincing well stated and well supported argument( just read such and such a study at such and such a university he'll say). These long arguments lead to me becoming very angry. At which point he will say " I think it is best fro both of us if i get a hotel tonight and with that he is gone off to some 5 star for the night. How can I teach him when this is how it always happens? I'm afraid that if i parent him too much he will just buy a house of his own. How can I handle this unusual situation?


btw I apologize for spelling errors I am on a mobile device.

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#2 of 5 Old 04-13-2014, 10:16 AM
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Where I live you need a credit card to get a hotel room, and if you're under 18 you need a co-signatory by a guarantor on a credit card. If you really want to control his flitting off to cool down when you're arguing, you could rescind your guarantorship. But I think you need to face the fact that despite any illusions to the contrary, you cannot teach a teen by controlling him. You need meaningful communication and mutual respect. If you've got that, it's unlikely that much will go too wrong.



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#3 of 5 Old 04-18-2014, 10:15 PM
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Er, well, you know he can't legally trade stock, have a credit card, buy property, own a car, or possibly even check into a hotel room without your permission, right? It sounds to me like you've given him a lot of privileges without creating and enforcing age-appropriate boundaries. Ok, so he's a financial prodigy... does that mean he "needs" to be actively engaged in day trading? I'd say no, not if it leads to him pulling attitude at his parents. Obviously you don't want to be getting into a battle of control, but neither do you want him walking all over you. I mean, I'm pretty sure all 16-year-olds think they're smarter than all adults :) but most of them are limited to slamming their bedroom door when they want to get some space. That said, I don't have ton of good advice on enforcing rules with a child that age: I might suggest consulting a parenting coach or family counselor about how to develop better communication between the two of you.

Erin, mom to DD (1/06) and DS (10/09)
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#4 of 5 Old 04-18-2014, 10:44 PM
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Carsonm3, are you possibly a 16 year old boy wishing you could just check into a five star hotel whenever you have a fight with your mom? Just checking, because in the other thread you started it wasnt just a hotel but an apartment to have sex

MeDH DS1 10/06 DD 08/10 DS2 10/12with SB and
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#5 of 5 Old 04-21-2014, 11:09 AM
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I'm with you Tigerle- I call "teen" with too much time and a wishlist! I believe that being treated like an adult entails behaving like an adult- and not just the fun stuff. In fact, when I gave my young child the short list of the things that adults are accountable for, he was pretty sure he wanted to remain a child forever.
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