Okay, so I've been saying how we really love our preschool. In terms of being AP-friendly, it's cool.
But we have reason to suspect our 3 year old ds is gifted. He hasn't been fully assessed, though he has had an IQ test. He's not in the profoundly gifted range, but he's definitely gifted. That along with some other issues we have kinda clinches it in my mind. Although his classmates are nice children, he isn't friends with any of them and is pretty bored, I am afraid.
So given that, dh and I went in to talk to the director, to see if there was anything we could do to help alleviate the situation for next year. The director was quite clear that the school does not (will not) do anything special for gifted children.
I'm just feeling really annoyed by the whole conversation. For one thing, she gave us the whole talk about how at 3 years old, scores are unstable, etc. (Insinuation: Your child isn't really gifted, you're just pushy parents.) Talked about how she did her dissertation work on gifted kids and worked in the famous Duke University Talent Identification Program (Insinuation: I know a lot more about gifted kids than you do.) Talked about how at age 3, they really need social skills and not to worry about academic stuff until later (Insinuation: Again, you're just pushy parents and need to chill out.)
At that point, ds wandered over and saw she had some candy on her desk in a little jar. He took the jar and went over to her and held it up, basically asking nonverbally if he could have one. Although she knew very well what he was asking, she then started playing this little power trip game, where she said, "Yes? Can I help you with something?" She basically kept pretending she didn't know what he wanted, and she wouldn't help him until he asked for it verbally. It was such a stupid game and it really made me angry! She then used this as a example, saying that this was exactly what she was talking about, socially immature behavior. It was such a set-up, though. Besides, we weren't talking to her because we think ds is socially sophisticated -- it's the intellectual challenge he needs. Yes, he acted like a 3 year old -- well, he IS one! Besides, what the heck was her little game really showing anyway? That she wanted him to ask for the candy verbally, and he didn't want to conform to that? I don't like people who play power games like that with kids to begin with, and then to use that as an example of how "socially immature" he is... it's just stupid. Stupid and aggravating. Not to mention showing ignorance about the asynchronous development that is so characteristic of many gifted children.
One of the interesting things that came out during this conversation is that for all the work she did with gifted children, etc... her own daughter is not gifted, and in fact is not at the top of her class. Both dh and I picked up on this fact, because it seems like maybe this director has a chip on her shoulder?
I dunno... the conversation did not go well in my opinion. Now I am hesitant to bring up any issues with ANY school. But I think I have to, to ensure my son gets what he needs. If ds had a learning disability, I wouldn't just sit back and let the schools determine what he did and didn't need. I would be his advocate. Same here. Now I see why there is so much on gifted websites about advocacy for your child.
When (if) the school issue comes up for your child, will you lead with the fact that they are gifted? I feel like my Catholic rearing is raising its ugly head, making me feel guilty for having a gifted kid.
Thanks for listening!